Silent Night
by Legend Maker
Summary: The holidays are over. How did you spend your Christmas Eve? Now...you can finally see how the Titans spent theirs. Because it might be the last one any of them ever have. The Lost Christmas Eve.
1. The Lions In Winter

_**Silent Night  
**___

Part 1: The Lions In Winter

Silently, the ship glided towards the shore, bringing its cargo to America. It would have greater impact than anyone realized…

"DADDY'S BACK YOU BITCHES!"

_What the…_

"DADDY'S BACK YOU BITCHES!"

_Wait a second what the…_

"Hey, come on." A Eastern European man said, as he banged on a door, where inside a rather underdressed man was getting a, how shall we say, rough treatment from a crop-wielding leather-dressed dominatrix.

The brown-jacketed man banged on the door again.

"Come on…!"

"Niko, what are you doing?" Another man said down the hallway,

"Dave, he's not coming." Niko replied.

"Oh ignore him, come on, we've got to get this thing ready before we dock…!" The man said, waving Niko away from the door, as the ship began entering the harbor of Libert

_HOLD IT! HOLD IT! WRONG SHIP! WRONG SERIES! WRONG TONE! JUST WRONG!_

_Sorry, small error. That ship has its own destiny. Now, down the coast…

* * *

_Silently, the ship glided towards the shore, bringing its cargo to America. It would have greater impact than anyone realized…

* * *

_December 1__st__._

For most people, it was the start, or the opening stretch, of a very stressful period in their lives.

For Duncan "Package" Wright, it was Thursday.

Mainly because Duncan Wright was a head sergeant in the business of "professional transportation." Except in Duncan's case, said transportation didn't involve driving or moving. It usually meant standing around.

And making sure whatever he was guarding _stuck _around. Some people would call him a glorified security guard: Duncan always fed those idiots their teeth. His job was bigger than that. Any schmo could squeeze their gut into a too-tight uniform and glance at monitors between looking at porn on the internet. Duncan's job was considerably more dangerous: he was part of the growing field of PT, which again, hid its true colors behind a benign name.

Professional transportation was used when the transporting of goods was likely to involve EA's. Aka, Empowered Antagonists. Aka, "super villains", as the quaint term went, nutcases who thought they could take whatever they wanted because they could lift buildings or crack stone with their burps, or whatever crazy nonsense was showing up this week. And not everything could be guarded by the police, or be taken care of by capes. So that was why firms like InterC.E.P.T had come to exist.

It was a stressful job. Partly because anything that was involved with EA's always had great risk, and partly because Duncan swore he was the only one who always took the job as seriously as it had to be taken.

Like now. He was the only one watching the transport ship come in. His subordinates were talking amongst themselves, or playing with their cell phones, or whatnot. It grated on his nerves. Despite what some would say, Duncan didn't LIKE to yell at people. But too often, he had to. And this was one of those times.

And so he did.

"ATTENTION!" Duncan bellowed as he whirled around, as everyone violently started from the sudden noise. "DO NOT THINK THAT BECAUSE THE SHIP HAS NOT DOCKED YET THAT YOU CAN SLACK OFF!"

"Uh…sir yes sir!" Some of them said halfheartedly. Duncan ground his teeth. He really wondered why so many people got into rigid, structured organizations like military service or high-risk security facilities like this without comprehending that they would be forced to give up their indulgences, and how long this took to sink in once they realized it. It was rather odd. They wouldn't fight for larger causes, or a earned living wage, but they'd fight like animals for their right to be lazy. Wasting so much effort in order to use less effort. Duncan didn't know if society was just getting dumber or this was part of some larger genetic pollution that started when all the freaks who casually broke the laws of physics began popping up.

"Sir! Permission to speak sir!" One of the men said. Duncan glared at him: had he been there before? The numbers didn't gell: had some of his idiot troops wandered off again? Or had the company once again sent an erroneous number that didn't match his handout? Duncan ground his teeth again: whichever it was meant more hassle, more paperwork, more stress.

"What is it." Duncan said tersely.

"Sir, are we not just guarding vehicles sir? Are we not operating in a cape town, sir? Should we not be so high-strung we risk snapping, sir?" The InterC.E.P.T officer said. Duncan glared anew at the young man, broad in shoulders and stock. And lacking just enough brain, so that instead of not asking any questions or casually dumb questions, he asked irritatingly dumb questions in the "know-better-than-you" manner.

"DO YOU THINK THIS OFFERS AN EXCUSE TO SLACK OFF THEN, SOLDIER?" Duncan roared. "Let me tell you how cape towns operate! The legend that they are safer because of the presence of capes is a lie! Capes bring nothing but trouble! Look what happened to Metropolis since Superman showed up! Look how deep Gotham City has plunged into hell since that "Bat-Man" started screwing around! And this town, this town's been burned down at least twice! I don't have a clue why people still live here, the trouble capes have brought it!"

"Still sir…!"

"STILL NOTHING!" Duncan yelled, as he turned around and pointed at the ship. "WE HAVE BEEN HIRED TO DO A JOB! IT DOES NOT MATTER IF WE ARE GUARDING THE FOOTBALL, OR A BUNCH OF FANCY FOREIGN CARS! IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW E.A'S OPERATE, LET ME REFRESH YOUR MEMORY! THEY STEAL! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS, THEY WANT TO TAKE IT! AND THEN CAPES SHOW UP, AND THEY BRAWL, AND EVERYTHING GETS BROKEN, INCLUDING ANY POOR BASTARD WHO'S CAUGHT IN THE WAY! WE ARE HIRED TO PREVENT THIS, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! NO JOB SHOULD BE DISMISSED! NO ODDS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED TOO LOW! SO YOU WILL…!"

And Duncan turned around.

And found himself staring at his men piled in a heap, shadowy figures around them…save the InterC.E.P.T member who had talked, who was standing in front of the pile.

"Should never take your eyes off the prize, SIR!" The member said, removing his faceplate to reveal a yellow masked face.

And Duncan Wright realized why he'd felt the numbers didn't match up. Because someone had snuck a mole in.

"LOUSY…!" He yelled, aiming his heavy-powered concussion rifle.

As a laser blast burned through his weapon, and he yelled and dropped it…even as a red-haired male teenager dressed in black and red camouflage dropped down in turn beside him.

"SEMPER FI ASSWIPE!"

And then Duncan Wright was knocked into oblivion.

* * *

"He picked the wrong week to quit drinking!" A man in bee-themed battle armor cackled as he also dropped down, having been the laser-firer, as the man who had once been called Private Hive, and was now Lieutenant Hive, finished shucking off his stolen costume.

"I do believe they also picked the wrong week to have a recovering alcoholic as a commander!" Lieutenant Hive cackled, as Mammoth and his sister Shimmer joined him: moments later Gizmo and Seemore also joined the pack. Seemore's "Optimax" helmet and Gizmo's technology had kept Wright from hearing or seeing his men getting pummeled. Not like it mattered: the ship and its cargo of cars had been compromised by the other HIVE members assigned to this job long before it had sailed into harbor. The only problem the pier group had had been being stuck with the asshole known as Sabotage, but he'd been good so far. Well, good on his terms.

"Don't see why we had to do all the work." Gizmo grumbled.

"Oh you know Blood. He gets goggle-eyed every time a new angle gets presented." Mammoth commented, eyeing the pile of InterC.E.P.T officers, wanting to make sure none of them were trying to sneak away. Oh, he wasn't concerned…but he was always extra-cautious when he took Shimmer on a mission.

"You'd think we'd get a better first bleeping assignment then to steal some bleeping cars." The teenager in camo, aka Sabotage said. Some might suspect that he did not actually say bleep, and that for some reason there was some sort of censor in place, perhaps because of the nature of a story or something. Some might suspect they've seen it before. Everyone should just stop asking questions.

"Oh quit complaining! You got the easy part!" The bee-man snapped.

"Excuse me?"

"I had to aim a precision shot at a small target! You just whacked him with your foot!"

"Perhaps you'd like to see if I could cross the signals enough in your mind to make you eat one of those explosives you're so fond of." Sabotage said as he lifted his hand.

"Stop it Cord. We're gonna need all the help we can get depending on how accurate that intel on the Titans was. Even Buzz Bomb's." Gizmo groused, as the ship began to dock.

"Though I wonder." Mammoth added. Bee-man, aka Buzz Bomb, didn't seem to reply, and since none of the current Hive members had superhuman hearing, no one heard his faint mutterings, nor detected how angry and paranoid they were.

"That intel better be good. I don't like how much rope is around our necks to start with: knowing just how many Titans are around is important." Seemore commented.

"I still say we should have thrown Buzzer here at the Tower and watched what came out." Sabotage added.

"Oh very funny guys." Buzz Bomb growled. "I still say we should have blown the Williams Jump Bridge to get their attention."

"Right, let's destroy a vital piece of infrastructure and cause potentially hundreds of deaths. That won't motivate the Titans to hunt us down and send us all to the Slab, you spithead!" Gizmo retorted.

"You've hit that head of yours too many times Gizmo. You seem to have forgotten we're the bad guys. Like, remember when Blood was going to destroy the whole city with a tidal wave?"

"Sure Buzz Bomb! We're bad! Why don't you go molest some kids and see if anyone considers that different from stealing some…!"

And then the boat crashed up against the docks, spraying water onto several of the Hive members.

"…just had to mention a tidal wave, didn't he." Mammoth said, as he wiped water from his dripping face.

"Oh BLEEPING BLEEP!" Sabotage cursed. "Why did we let those idiots drive?"

"Because we're basically trusting?" Buzz Bomb replied.

"What the hell are you talking about? You're the most paranoid guy I know!" Mammoth countered.

"Exactly. I trust in my fellow man to plot against me. See? We're basically trusting."

"That doesn't explain why Dominique, Billy, and LeTonya just pulled an Arsenal Gear with the boat." Seemore said. "Doesn't exactly make us look good with the new head cheese."

"Oh it doesn't matter. He'll be gone soon. Every week there's a new guy whose origin doesn't make sense." Buzz Bomb said.

"What?"

"What?"

"What?" Mammoth said, confused now himself.

"Never mind."

"…what?" Lieutenant Hive said.

"Sometimes, Mr. Bomb…" Came a new voice…

As the current Hive team leader literally appeared out of nowhere. Unlike the practical battle outfits and/or colorful costumes his companions wore, he wore a brown suit and jacket, with white gloves and white and brown loafers. The only thing that stood out about his outfit was his tie, which had clocks running down it…and his glasses, which hid his eyes and had clock hands etched on them as well.

"I question if you are on this team due to hidden brilliance or merely to make sure there is always someone to throw at the police." Clock King said.

"Whatever. You're only in charge because you're new. I was new once. That was a great week…"

Buzz Bomb did not notice the other Hive members visibly shudder.

"…And I WOULD have discovered the lost Greek fire formula if Blood hadn't gotten sick of my novelty!"

"…quite." Clock King said with mild irritation, as another costumed female stepped from behind him, wearing a purple bodysuit, thigh high boots, and eye mask, along with cybernetic gloves that were attached to a power pack on her back.

"Why do you keep him around, King?" The female asked.

"Simple, Angelica: there are always places for fools on the field of battle. Especially ones loaded with high explosive." Clock King replied, as he turned the ball-grip of the staff he held around in his hand, as he pulled out a classical-type pocket watch and investigated it. "Though putting fools behind the wheel is less productive."

"Don't blame US." Said a cloud of black dust, as it swirled down onto the dock and reformed into a black-suited teenager with blonde hair in a high, swept-back and piled cut over his slanted mean-looking eyes. "Billy didn't do jack bleep."

"Pardon?" Clock King said…as another figure plummeted from the boat and crashed down onto the stone dockside, standing up to reveal herself as a black teenager wearing a silver outfit…and with a familiar looking mechanical construct replacing her right hand and left side of her face, though hers only covered her eye and cheek.

"He just stood around! Said he was on strike!" The copycat teenage girl, aka Cyborgirl, said.

"You're darn tootin'!" Came Billy Numerous' voice up on the ship. "I'm on strike until Blood ups my salary!"

"…we don't get PAID, you dipstick!" Shimmer yelled back up.

"Exactly!" Billy yelled back down. Clock King grimaced.

"William, you will make up for what you've already snarled by beginning to unload all the storage units on that ship, immediately!" Clock King yelled.

"Didn't you just hear me! I said…"

"AND I…!" Clock King bellowed as he abruptly appeared in front of Billy Numerous's several forms, floating on a platform that, unsurprisingly, looked like a giant clock piece as well. "Am about to lose patience and have Disrupter force you all back into one body before I see how well you handle surviving in 3 Billion BC!"

"I don't know who you think you are, but I'm Billy Numerous! I beat the Titans so bad single handed that I gave Cyborg a drug problem, and if you think a'hm gonna put up with this abuse, you got another thing comin'!"

Clock King looked at Billy for a moment, and then smiled, a wide, wicked grin.

"How true."

* * *

_4 Minutes later._

"Now do your job." Clock King said, as Billy crawled off whimpering. A moment later Clock King was back down around the rest of the Hive members, some of whom were looking quite green.

"…was it really necessary to make him watch his own birth in reverse?" Buzz Bomb asked.

"I find it adds a certain urgency. Now you, begin unloading the storage chambers." Clock King said, pointing to several HIVE members. "And the rest of you unload the ones on this pier."

"No need: I'll just send out a nanoprobe cluster and they'll drive all the cars off." Gizmo said.

"We are not stealing the cars."

"WHAT?" Was the general answer.

"Now unload the cars."

"Just what are we looking for?" Sabotage asked.

"The answer is, DO WHAT I SAY." Clock King snapped. "You've wasted enough time as it is."

"Is it bigger than a breadbox?" Buzz Bomb asked.

"I don't have time for your infantile game of Twenty Questions. UNLOAD THE CRATES."

"He has a point Tick-Tock. Just what ARE we stealing?" Seemore asked.

"You'll know when you see it."

"Oh just tell us Mr. Importantpants. What's the worst that could happen?" Buzz Bomb asked.

"It involves primordial ooze, Aztec human sacrifice rituals, the Roman practice known as scouring, and the gruesome fate Edward II suffered, with barbs included. Oh yes, and _YOU._" Clock King replied.

"I'll just get back to looking." Buzz Bomb said, as the Hive members scattered.

"No wonder we're already at the top of the heap." Disrupter said: noticeably, she was the only Hive member who didn't start working, instead staying by Clock King's side.

"It's how the process works. Some evolve through difficulty, some devolve. They all have their uses."

"Hey! How come the lil' Missy doesn't have to do any work!" Lieutenant Hive yelled down from the ship.

"Did I mention that the Persians had a tradition of MAKING ALL SERVANTS EUNICHS?" Clock King replied.

"…I don't know what that word means!"

"All right then. I'll just settle for detonating the explosive unit I secreted away in all your costumes!"

"Buncha cars, comin' right up sir!"

"We're in big trouble if the Titans show up, aren't we." Disrupter said.

"Not necessarily. They will have to catch wind of this deed first, and considering I have jammed all communication systems in the surrounding square miles…" Clock King said, as he consulted another pocket watch. "But they're clever children. No, what I'm relying on is the fact that most of the team from my observation earlier seems to be absent, which suggests a mission has called them elsewhere, hence leaving their strength reduced enough so that even this less than optimal band can handle them. And if that isn't the case, or has changed…well, I do have other plans." Clock King said. "Do not concern yourself Angelica. Everything is going like clockwork."

"Why am I not surprised he said that…"

The binoculars scanned out, taking in the pier as the various Hive members unloaded the metal storage containers on the boat and the cars within them, very quickly turning the area they were in into a makeshift parking lot, albeit one lacking any real order.

* * *

And as they worked, the binoculars scanned each one.

_A few of the usual suspects. Gizmo. Seemore. Numerous. The Private…Mammoth brought Shimmer again, don't see how her transmutation talent would help here…and there's Buzz Bomb, that crazy demolitions expert…Sabotage, better set a blaster type to get around his probability altering and martial arts…Abrasion, haven't seen him for a while, he and his shredding dust form could also be trouble…but of course the real trouble are those three…_

The binoculars scanned in on the mechanized woman, who looked so very familiar.

_Newcomers. Never a good thing for our side. Don't recall Vic mentioning someone like her, might be new…and I don't recognize the other girl as well…as for the apparent new leader, he does look familiar…_

_Best to be cautious. Despite things.

* * *

_"So are you going to give me the mystery box treatment as well?" Disrupter asked, as Gizmo irritatingly used a magnetic ray to hurl one of the empty shipping crates the European cars had come in into the water, something a few of the Hive members had taken to doing, if they could, to express their frustration at the needle-hunting.

"Just that it's important enough that it was hidden amongst a supposed automobile shipment. Blood will…"

"Got it!"

Clock King glanced over to Mammoth, as he lifted up a sealed metal crate from one of the cars, the crate hidden where the engine of the machine normally would be. Clock King grinned again and sauntered over.

"Is it delicate, this gadget, Giz has some…" Mammoth began.

"No need for concern." Clock King said, as he removed another timepiece from his coat and pressed it against the sealed container. It locked itself against the metal box, a ring of energy springing from it…as Clock King took hold of the crate and removed it from Mammoth's arms like it was made of foam.

"Guh! What the…!" Mammoth gaped.

"Chrono-displacement. I am shifting the weight of the container across its points in time. Ever pick something up and think it's heavier then you thought it was? It will be attributed to that." Clock King said, as he smiled his wicked smile and adjusted his glasses. "We are done. Let us be off."

"Great! You can pass the time by telling us what's actually IN the box." Seemore commented.

"You wouldn't even begin to understand." Clock King said. "This device is known as the MWS, and…"

"It really doesn't much matter…" Came a voice that grated across most of the Hive member's nerves. They knew it far too well.

As their eyes followed it…as Robin knelt down on the nearby packing crate, looking down at the Hive members, his staff held over his shoulders with one hand.

…the only problem with the picture was that Robin was completely alone, not a sign of any of his teammates or even a guest.

"As it doesn't belong to you, and you won't be keeping it. Rules of the game, and all that." Robin said as he hopped down.

"Damn it Clock King, you said the Titans wouldn't find out about this!" Gizmo cursed, as Mammoth got in front of Shimmer and cracked his knuckles.

"I said it was a possibility. You should understand possibility better then you do, O'Jeanus." Clock King said. Gizmo spat an unintelligible curse as his real name being used, but kept his focus on Robin.

"So, the Boy Wonder makes his presence felt. Allow me to introduce myself, Robin. I am the Clock King, and this, as you well know, is the Hive…"

"The Hive Five!" Gizmo added.

"Times Two!" Seemore said afterward.

"PLUS Two!" Buzz Bomb added in turn.

"Shut up. Is it possible you could just shut up." Clock King sighed in deep irritation.

"You're one to talk about possibility, Temple. You certainly look different from the last time." Robin said. "Been toying with forces beyond your ken? You should know the possibility of that backfiring."

"You mistake me Titan. I am not Temple Fugate. Let us say his title has been…worthily usurped." The Clock King said. "Your title, on the other hand, may weigh too heavily on you. You may be a boy wonder, but you are…rather considerably outnumbered and outgunned."

"So Robin! You will at last meet your doom!" Buzz Bomb piped up. Robin glanced at the insect-themed villain.

"…do I know you?" Robin asked.

"…It's me. Buzz Bomb."

"…Oh! I know you! You're that chick from Titans East, right? A shame you've gone back to villainy…" Robin said in mock confusion.

"THAT'S BUMBLEBEE!"

"Oh right, right, of course…"

Buzz Bomb looked on expectantly.

"Nope, sorry, I just haven't ever heard of you."

"WHAT! MY LIVEJOURNAL WILL HEAR OF THIS!" Buzz Bomb shrieked, as he turned and began flying off. Robin looked back down at Clock King, whose irritation was obvious even with his glasses obscuring his eyes.

"If that's the type that fills your ranks, well…would it help if I closed my eyes?" Robin inquired.

"Buzz Bomb, get back down here you idiot." Clock King said.

"Idiot? MY LIVEJOURNAL WILL HEAR OF THIS!"

"GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I BLOW THE EXPLOSIVE BOLT IN YOUR SUIT YOU BLABBERING TWIT!"

"…you have merely delayed your Livejournal flaying." Buzz Bomb said as he flew back down.

"You're still on that? Haven't you heard of Facebook?" Seemore said.

"I have a page on every social network. I simply reserve Livejournal for whining. It fits the culture."

"I can make do without you two, just so you know." Clock King said, as he raised his staff and lifted his thumb above its head menacingly.

"…don't let this fool you birdbutt! We've got a full house here and you're about to go to pot!" Gizmo yelled. Robin chuckled to himself, either at the concept or Gizmo's mangled cards metaphor, rubbing a finger under his nose as if he were taking in a play rather then confronting a dozen empowered individuals who would all kill him without much in the way of regrets.

"This isn't right. He's too calm about this." Cyborgirl muttered. "Is this a Robin/Teen Titans thing or a Robin/BATMAN thing?"

"We're in Jump boogerbrain." Gizmo retorted.

"Oh yes, because Batman CLEARLY doesn't have some sort of themed vehicle that would let him fly here." Cyborgirl replied in turn.

"He doesn't like leaving Gotham. He's a bit…obsessed that way." Mammoth said.

"I still have bruises." Shimmer added.

"Perhaps instead of debating the minutiae of his appearance, one of you cretins could do something like, and this is a shot in the dark, ATTACK HIM!" Clock King snapped.

"He's mine. I want another notch on my belt." Sabotage said, as he cracked his neck.

"Screw you Cord. He's mine. He'll kick your ass. I'll shred him." Abrasion said, as his arms began to dissolve into the ripping, scouring dust that he could become and wreck havoc on things solid and pliable alike.

"Both you maggots forget you are technically under my command!" Lieutenant Hive snapped, as he twirled his shield. "You will leave him to me!"

"You can have 'im." Billy Numerous said.

"No, I'll crush him into…wait what?" Mammoth said as he looked incredulously at Billy. "You can't say 'not it!'"  
"A'hm back on strike. Means I do what I want."

"And this is why I thought we should have gone with the other legacy villains, King." Disrupter said, as Clock King tried to conceal his irritation by adjusting his glasses.

"Enough of this. Buzz Bomb, kill him."

"Why me?"

"He insulted you, didn't he?"

"This seems too easy. I don't trust it."

"He's still your enemy though, correct?"

"Not really, and I don't want Batman knocking at my door."

"You might actually be REWARDED if you succeed where so many have failed, MIGHT YOU NOT?" Clock King hissed.

"…rewarded?"

"YES."

"…If I kill Robin…I'll be rewarded!"

"YES." Clock King growled, as Buzz Bomb flew back. "A revelation worthy of Archimedes, that one."

"CHARGE!" Buzz Bomb yelled, as he flew towards Robin.

Disrupter expected it to be quick and brutal…and noticed her leader/significant other's brows narrow before what happened happened.

Robin…ran away. He quite literally turned on a dime, darted around the container he'd been standing on, and sprinted off into the fog that had blown in on the pier while the Hive had been bickering.

"KILL! KILL! BLOOD-BOT WILL REWARD WASPINAT-I MEAN BUZZ BOMB!" Buzz Bomb trumpeted as he flew into the fog after Robin.

"So, will he stumble back out, or be thrown?" Cyborgirl snapped. "Does this group usually have such a high concentration of idiots? I heard better things when I signed up."

"Don't underestimate the guy." Mammoth said grudgingly. "He's weird but…DAMN, he holds a grudge."

"So he actually has a chance?"

"Well, he never shows the slightest hint of rationality, sometimes that can…"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Cyborgirl was wrong: Buzz Bomb FLEW back out of the fog. Not by a throw: by his own power. He was retreating at full-bore engine up to eleven speed.

"You were saying?" Cyborgirl said.

"…maybe those meds Blood has him on are really working."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU ADDLED PITSNIFFER?!?" Gizmo yelled as Buzz Bomb zapped past him.

"HE BROUGHT EVERYONE!" Buzz Bomb screamed over his shoulder.

"What do you mean, everyone?"

"EVVVVVVVVVVERRRRRYYYONNNNNNNNNNEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"

And then Buzz Bomb was gone, fleeing around the ship and across the water. Disrupter glanced at Clock King, expecting him to blow up the idiotic fool any second now…

And found he hadn't even lifted his thumb. He was still looking ahead…and if she hadn't been around long enough to notice the subtleties in his expressions, she never would have seen how his tension, evident in his forehead's skin, had abruptly gone up considerably.

The package crate Robin had been standing on was now gone. It had been moved when everyone had been distracted by Buzz Bomb.  
Robin was standing there. No longer alone. The Titans stood with him.

"You know, I was trying to think of some speech to give here…" Robin said.

As Titans East joined the group.

And Titans North. And Titans South. And Titans West. And Titans Mobile. None of these teams actually existed, but considering the fact that over 20 additional teenage heroes had also emerged from the fog to look at the Hive Five (Times Two) (Plus Two), it was credible they could.

Robin was certain a few of them took pictures of the utterly flabbergasted Hive members. He didn't blame them. It was worth more then a thousand words.

"But really, doesn't this speak for itself?"

"…or maybe he knows something we don't." Cyborgirl said bitterly.

"…huh…buh…wuh…" Gizmo replied: he couldn't say much else, his mouth was now as dry as a desert.

"You look unhappy. Though I don't blame you. Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories." Robin said. "Which is why I thought all the people we know could use some warm memories. So we decided to organize an extended Christmas vacation. And since it's December now, we went out of town to meet up. But just because we weren't around doesn't mean we weren't paying attention. And when we got the call, well, we didn't know how much trouble was coming, so…why take chances?"

"…quite." Clock King murmured.

"From one poker player to another, Mikron." Savior said. "You may have a full house, but we…we're a straight flush."

"Because we're about to flush YOU. Straight down the toilet." Terra said. Savior glanced at the blonde, and wondered if he could locate a snowball for cutting off his line.

"I believe the expression is…you are the skeletal structure." Starfire said.

Silence.

"Close again Star. Allow me." Beast Boy said. "You're boned."

And abruptly…Clock King smiled, as he adjusted his glasses.

"Not…QUITE."

Robin wasn't quite sure where Clock King produced the enlarged briefcase-like carrier from: he later suspected Disrupter had handed it to him, as Clock King slipped the metal container that held the MWS into it.

"For the past three days, I kept this specialized capsule of mine in a locked, sealed room. No one saw it or moved it. Just in case the possibility arose that I would have to do this."

And Clock King removed another timepiece from his coat and attached it to the briefcase, activating it with a button press.

And suddenly ALL the Hive members were holding an identical briefcase, though most of them clearly hadn't been expecting to be doing so.

"Schrödinger's Suitcase, I call it. One of these holds what I've taken. The rest are the empty one plucked from various moments of the time was sealed in the room. Which one has the prize? Which ones do not? And perhaps most importantly, do you want to risk charging in in blitzkrieg-esque fashion and risk breaking the one that actually has it? Who knows what damaging the device could do, after all."

Robin's eyes narrowed a bit.

"A nice counter-move, Not-Temple. You thought ahead. Now, let's see if you considered this during that process. How long have you been looking for that device?"

Clock King's brow abruptly narrowed in aggravation again, though at the moment, Robin didn't process that the expression seemed a touch too…strong…

"And more precisely, how long might have we been concealed in the distance, watching, and making our own plans."

"…King?" Disrupter said.

"Kill them." Clock King ordered. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Hive did not spring to the attack.

"King, this might not…"

"They've thrown together a massive slapdash group! They'll take half their own numbers out in trying to stop you! And since you prefer to stand there and gawk, I'll put it in these terms: ATTACK OR DIE!" Clock King yelled, as he pointed at the Titans.

In a curious paradox, fear could motivate as much as bravery could at times, as the Hive members realized that going _towards _the Titans might be painful, going _away_ from the Titans would be worse.

And so they charged.

* * *

Robin tried not to let his amusement show. In a way, he was rather ashamed of the degree of schadenfreude he was getting out of the whole situation. He had to stay focused, as he'd been taught. He couldn't let his huge advantage fill his vision: he had to keep to the plan, on the lookout for cracks that could be turned against him.

But the biggest one had already been taken care of. He didn't bother to correct Clock King on his assessment of the number of Titans and the problems that could result. That was why he hadn't made his move until the Hive had found what they were looking for, after all. He'd been drawing up an assessment and assigning roles.

And as for the fact many of the honorary Titans didn't have experience being given such orders…Robin had that covered as well.

As he lifted his staff and cleared his throat.

"T-"

And Gauntlet jumped in front of him.

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!"

Unfortunately, the group didn't have experience in Robert Candide's exuberance as well, and most of them just stared.

"What? One motto's as good as…"

And then Lieutenant Hive rammed into Gauntlet from behind, and the two went tumbling down.

"…ahem." Robin said. "TITANS GO!"

And they did.

* * *

Chaos.

The Hive Five (Times Two yadda yadda) might have been outnumbered three to one, but they weren't going to just roll over and give up, as their forces slammed together and the pier erupted into a gigantic fracas.

But not all of the Titans leapt to the attack: indeed, when the call to arms came, a group of them had actually moved backwards, quickly moving out of the carnage and destruction of the battlefield.

"Organization guard is in place." Savior said, as he glanced at his fellow Titans. He really didn't want the child heroes there, but they were attached to Raven, and when it came to discouraging Melvin Jones, Timothy Walton, and Whitaker Keen (or as most of the Titans knew them, Melvin, Timmy Tantrum, and Teether), most of the Titans would probably prefer to go a few more rounds with Superboy-Prime. Besides, they didn't get out much from the S.T.A.R base that was their home for now, with their villainous relations still hunting them: some field work was probably good. And since Raven had to be protected, Savior couldn't ask for any better candidates for the job, in a sense.

Because Raven was the ace in the hole for the massive Titans team. She would not enter combat: instead she would stay back and, via her mental and magical powers, keep the Titans organized and directed. Clock King might have hoped that the Titans would be tripping over themselves more than battling the Hive…but not while Raven was around.

And if he clued in on that and tried to send someone her way…well, that was why Savior was here, with the kids (and assumingly Bobby, somewhere). On top of that, Robin had assigned Thunder and Lightning (they'd protested, wanting a piece of the action, but Robin had gotten them to agree by the fact that with so many Titans there would hardly be any action to go around, and they'd probably end up fighting with their fellows instead of the villains), as well as Jericho (the irony of that, the son of Slade working with two people the real deal had no love lost for). In fact, now that that group had broken off and established itself, Savior felt a touch redundant…

"Understood. Rear guard report in." Robin said, as he began walking forward.

"Rear guard is in place." Morgue said with a touch of sourness: she didn't like being mollycoddled, but orders were orders, and she and her three fellows had a purpose: make sure none of the Hive members slipped away in the confusion. A role that was doubly important now, considering Clock King's little trick with the divided briefcases.

"Stand fast." Robin said, as he glanced around, as the Hive members frantically tried to fend off the small groups of Titans that were attacking each one and keep the briefcase out of their hands. Robin watched Seemore frantically firing eye blast after eye blast at Miss Martian, and finding nothing he threw at her could deal with her intangibility powers. And considering how strong the Martian species was, Seemore's pain was likely just beginning: Miss Martian hadn't attacked because it was clear she wasn't certain on just how to handle the vise-grip the Titans had on the situation…so Aqualad solved the problem for her by riding a water stream into Seemore and sending him flying.

Yeah, things were in hand.

* * *

Albeit maybe not as surefire as Robin thought.

No one was attacking Cyborgirl, for instance…because she and the original were having a rather intense staredown. Cyborg did not look pleased that his designs had been so closely copied, AGAIN. Blood had been bad enough.

"Guess originality doesn't come easy to you." Cyborg said.

"Much like sense to you." Cyborgirl retorted. "Why the bleep are you wasting your life doing this bleep, you idiot? Don't you realize how much better we are than the rest of the rabble?"

"The fact you're saying something like that means you don't have a hope in hell in understanding any answer I could give."

"Oh whatever." Cyborgirl snapped, and thrust up her cannon. "Bring it on, you obsolete piece of bleep!"

And Cyborgirl fired her sonic cannon, and Cyborg snapped up his arm and counter-fired.

* * *

As Gauntlet leapt up to his feet, taking a moment to brush some hair out of his eyes.

"I see you've been reading more Sun Tzu than Queensbury Rules of Fighting Fair!"

"I had to do something to justify my promotion!" Lieutenant Hive retorted.

"Promotion?"

"Lieutenant Hive, maggot! Prepare to get your head ripped off and…"

"Wait wait wait, what did you do to get a promotion? All I've ever seen you do is pose and get your ass kicked!"

"It's some seniority bullbleep. You hang around long enough, you get a promotion."

"…by that logic, shouldn't Captain Tick or whatever glasses' name is be working for you?"

"No, because command is made up of _jerk_." Lieutenant Hive groused.

"Oh you have NO idea how much I agree with you there. You know, Robin's turned my suggestion for a second plasma TV down like THREE times?"

"What?"

"I keep telling him, we have too many people to share all the time, but noooo, he says it builds character and teamwork to have to agree on a channel. And let's not forget him turning down Casual Friday!"

"Casual…?"

"Though at least he accepted my suggestion to let us have St. Patrick's Day off as long as there were no crimes…hey…wait, we pretty much have every day off unless there are crimes anyway! ROBIN! WE SHALL HAVE WORDS!"

"You-GACK!"

"And then there's Savior!" Gauntlet continued on. "He is SUCH a control freak. Not like the villain, the regular sort. 'Don't touch that, Rob!' 'Don't leave the milk out Rob!' 'Don't prank call Vladimir Putin, Rob!' 'Don't gene splice the cat, Rob!' And on top of that, there's the author! BOOGEYMEN IV. NUFF SAID…"  
"What Gauntlet?"

And Gauntlet snapped out of it to see Speedy, Bumblebee, and Herald standing over Lieutenant's Hive beaten-to-oblivion form, as Speedy looked inside Hive's briefcase and found it empty.

"…oh, just ranting. Carry on."

* * *

It wasn't all fun and games.

"Él es más irritante que tacos sin carne!" Mas Y Menos yelled as they fled away from the twirling tornado of black dust, Menos nearly tripping as he paused to cough. The dust surged after them, and they yelled and resumed running. While Raven _was_ keeping the battlefield organized, she couldn't be on top of _every _little thing.

Which had led to the mismatch, as Abrasion swirled back into form, grinning at a crooked angle as he chuckled. Stupid spics. He wished he could have shown them what a real language was: the language of pain…

"Next!" He declared. He didn't have to wait long.

"…Gnarrrk." The growling voice said, as Abrasion glanced towards the caveman.

"No Gnarrk. Not this time." Kole said. "You'll get hurt. Stay back."

"Gnarrrrkkk…!"

"I know. Trust me. Please." Kole said, and ran towards Abrasion.

"Henh. Oh you think you have it figured out?" Abrasion smirked.

And then his body broke down, transforming into the flesh-destroying dust cloud, his carriage case floating in its grip as he surged at Kole.

As she focused and transformed, holding her arms above her head in a Y shape as her body shifted from soft flesh to her nigh-invulnerable crystalline state…which unfortunately, left her immobile.

Abrasion's mass slammed against the metamorphosed girl, his dust form slashing across her body. It didn't even scratch her…but neither could she counter attack, or even defend herself.

She couldn't gasp either, as Abrasion's voice abruptly echoed in her mind.

"_Hello meat. Oh, you feel shocked. Mild telepathy. Helps me keep control in my special state. I bet you thought I'd just attack you fruitlessly until I got frustrated or angry, right? Well, you're pissing me off girl, but I know how to think. So tell me this: how long can you stay in that state? Don't you need to breathe? I don't: my unique altered state can absorb air directly. And even if yours can as well…I can stay in MY state quite a while. Can you? How long will your precious crystal hold up? And you can't exactly turn back now, can you? Or call for help? And if someone comes to help you, well…they're gonna suffer a lot for it. So what can you do? In truth, you can't do much of anything. That's how the world works, little meat. There's the takers and the bleeders. And you are going to bleed."_

"…_thanks. I wondered how I was going to keep your attention."_ Kole thought in return.

"_Wait wha…"_

"Surprise you bleep." Argent said as she flew down.

And the Goth girl fired her silver energy into Kole, the girl's body acting as a refracting prism and sending the energy blasts piercing through Abrasion's dust form. Raven could think too, and remember. And while Abrasion ignored physical impacts, unique energy signatures were another story. Abrasion could shrug off singular or double shots of those…but not a mass of shots fired from inside him, as he retreated with a howl, the dust collapsing back into his body.

"YOU BI-!"

As Gnarrk moved in, scooping up Kole.

"GNARRRRRRRRRRRKKKK!"

Abrasion's second encounter with the crystal teen was considerably more painful.

* * *

As Mammoth bellowed and hurled the car at Scalpel. To try and drive the point home, Scalpel stopped it with one arm.

"We know how this ends Baran! We've done it before!" Scalpel yelled.

"NOT NEAR THE DRINK!" Mammoth bellowed as he charged at Scalpel, trying to drive the alien into the water.

At least before Bumblebee's miniaturized form swooped in and zapped Mammoth in the ear.

"RAARRGGHHH! YOU LOUSY…!"

Which gave Nigel time to introduce his foot to Mammoth's chest, sending him flying and crashing into the side of another car, the lovely framework of the expensive vehicle caving in like tin foil from the impact.

As Terra floated down, eyes aglow.

"Between a rock and a hard place." She said, as she gestured backwards, the stones at her command swooping back…

And falling to the ground with a crash, Terra's perch right behind them, as she hit the pier with a gasp of surprise, the golden light dying in her eyes as she tried to figure out what had just hit her…

Before it hit her again, literally this time, as Disrupter charged in and smashed her glowing battle gauntlet across Terra's face, sending her flying and falling to the ground.

"How true, carpenter's dream." Disrupter smirked.

"Hey! You think you can just…!" Bumblebee yelled as she charged in in turn. Disrupter fired a one-handed purplish blast at the tiny Titan, but her shrunken form dodged it easily…

And then abruptly re-sized back up to her normal size, something Bumblebee clearly hadn't been expecting judging from her widened eyes, as Disrupter smirked and followed up with another blast, catching Bumblebee in the chest and sending her falling to the ground as well.

"Sorry negroid or whatever the hell you're calling each other these days, but like the name says, I disrupt things. Powers, natural forces, jaws…"

"Really then." Scalpel said, as he pulled out his glaive from his coat, as Disrupter turned to look at where he was standing, nearby. "How effective are you at disrupting kinetics?"

And the alien cocked back his arm…

As Shimmer reared up from where she'd snuck up on Nigel and seized his weapon, transforming it from its alien metal into glass. Taken aback, Scalpel instinctively shifted his stance…which involved adjusting his weapon. Which was now made of glass. And did what glass did, breaking apart even as Shimmer fled.

"…aggravating." Scalpel commented.

As Mammoth slammed into Scalpel with a roar, both of the superstrong enemies tumbling to the ground as Mammoth rained down fists on Scalpel's head.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS ENDING? HUH? HUH!" Mammoth snarled, as he hammered the alien…

Before he found Scalpel's foot on his chest: Mammoth had been too focused on attacking to notice Scalpel's shifting.

"Not much!"

And with a mighty thrust, Mammoth went flying up into the air.

* * *

That fact was rather surprising to Starfire, but she'd been in enough Titan craziness to go with the flow, as she flew around Mammoth's form and opened fire along with Red Star, as Gizmo yelled incomprehensible curses and fired a spray of missiles at the pair, even as he whipped out a plasma cannon and began firing piercing rays back at the two as well. The two flying blaster-Titans dodged and countered with their own shots, even as Speedy and Aqualad came to Bumblebee's aid against Disrupter.

Unfortunately, Speedy's act was fueled by a certain nepotism, as he'd been sent to provide backup to Pantha. Who was attacking Sabotage with an out of control fury…and playing right into his hands, as her foot slipped on a wet patch of the dock and twisted her knee…even as the probability-altering martial artist introduced Pantha to his own knee.

Cyborg grappled with his female other…as she proved she had nastier tricks up her sleeves, as her seemingly organic arm abruptly shifted, the flesh shifting into liquid silver metal as the arm reformed into a spike that Cyborgirl drove into Cyborg's gut, electricity crackling down the length and into Cyborg, as he thrashed and screamed.

And Robin paused for a moment, scanning it all…and then moved on. He was human. He could only do so much.

And with Raven organizing everything, that left him to handle something she couldn't.

Cut the head off the snake.

"So, you finally decided to take some form of direct action then." Clock King said. "Do you believe that I would attempt false misdirection? Or do you simply feel the compulsion to target the superior in an enemy force to justify your own position?"

"I justify nothing. I just act." Robin said, as he spun his staff behind himself.

"And if your actions cannot serve?"

Robin did not reply…at first.

As Batgirl, Flamebird, and Spoiler dropped down around him.

"Then others compensate." Robin replied.

And despite the odds against him, Clock King once again grinned.

"We shall see."

And as the four scions of the Bat, official and non, leapt to the attack, Clock King raised his staff, even as he pulled out a curved knife from within his coat.

And never once did his vicious grin fade.

* * *

Clock King might have appeared to be happy, but none of his supposed teammates were, as Seemore staggered into the warehouse, soaked, coughing, and his body wracked with pain. This was too much. It was bad enough constantly getting beat down by the Titans when it was just their normal team. Sending an army after them was overkill, especially considering some of the heavy hitters in said army. He'd thrown everything at that Martian chick, and it had just gone through her. And his equipment had been designed to compensate for such traits as intangibility: it took one hell of a refined talent for his blasts to have no effect. Then again, if she _was_ a Martian, as she seemed to be, Seemore should not only have expected that, but been thankful she hadn't broken him in half, or yanked his worst nightmare out of his head and transformed into it. He'd heard the horror stories, of J'onn J'onzz and the White Martians, what they could do…it was a miracle he'd escaped…well, escaped in the sense that Aqualad had flattened him and then been distracted by Gizmo, allowing Seemore to run for his life.

Blood might scream at him, but this was just too much. On top of the Titans, the new team leader seemed to be playing his own damn game, what with the mystery theft and the time-split that left everyone with a package that may or may not be empty, and Seemore had to try and guard it while defending HIMSELF against a damn Titan army, it was all too much…

He had to get away…

As pink energy blasted his hands and they abruptly proved slippery, as the case he was holding flew out of his hands and _thunk'd _down onto the ground, as Seemore recoiled with a gasp. He knew that power, as he swirled his head in the direction of the attack and tried to fire a return shot…

More pink energy hit his helmet, and he screamed as it shorted out. Seemore reached up as quick as he could, yanking it off before it exploded or electrocuted his head, throwing the now-useless weapon away as he clutched his singed cranium. She'd gotten the drop on him. Bad luck.

But he shouldn't have expected anything else, as Jinx emerged from the shadows, her hands glowing with the pink hex energy.

"…sorry squinty." She said quietly. For a moment, Seemore glared at Jinx with a hatred that could match any Titan enemy…but he couldn't keep it up, as his features softened to regret.

"…so that's how it goes down, huh?" He asked. "You're on the side of the angels now. Gotta make sure the devils all end up in hell."

Jinx said nothing.

"But hey, they can't have you showing sympathy for the enemy! They might doubt their choice then. And then where would YOU be?" Seemore half-growled and half-lamented. "So go ahead Llarenes. What's everything in the past, when you have a future to look after?"

Jinx's expression betrayed her, as sadness traced across her features.

"…the box. Kick it over."

"Careful girl. The way you change things, might blow this state off the map." Seemore said, as he kicked the container he'd been given over. Jinx glanced down at it.

Her eyes flared. The top of the case popped open.

Revealing an empty case. Seemore didn't have the MWS.

"…you're wrong, you know." Jinx said quietly.

"Isn't that why you're supposed to stop me now? Isn't that your job, so you can claw your way out of Coldsinius!?"

"…Cocytus, Seymore." Jinx said. "And…it's not like that. I regret leaving you behind…but I couldn't keep going down that path. I made a choice. If that's betrayal, then Blood served us all a greater one first…"

Jinx lowered her hands.

"And I will not stoop to his level."

The two former comrades stared at each other.

"…go on. Move!"

Seemore stared a bit more.

"They stuck me on rear guard, no one past me! Go on! Shoo! Quickly! Before someone else comes along!"

"…henh." Seemore said, as he picked up his broken helmet (he hated to leave equipment behind). "Maybe you've haven't changed much at all Jinx."

"You're right, and you're wrong." Jinx said, as she turned her head away. Seemore blinked, and then ran past her, disappearing into the shadows she'd come from.

Jinx sighed deeply. They may have been a criminal organization, but once, the Hive had been the only friends and family she'd had. And try and she might, she couldn't just throw that away…

"Llarenes!"

And Jinx's heart abruptly filled with ice. No, not…

Jinx turned around.

As Savior leapt across the warehouse floor and landed in front of her. He did not look pleased.

"This won't do."

* * *

_A brief moment earlier…_

"Hey Raven. I demand a refund." Gauntlet said as he strolled up to the organizational guard.

"A refund of what?" Savior asked.

"I'm asking her."

"She's busy Gauntlet. You can talk to me."

"Weird, normally you'd want me to be someone else's problem."

"Well, I can't precisely avoid that now, can I? I think I've used up my year's supply of hypocrisy." Savior replied. "What's this about a refund?"

"I want my 30 seconds back. With over 40 Titans, there's nothing to DO."

"Nothing? Half the Hive's still operative! Go reinforce one of the other groups."

"…actually, that makes me realize something. If we're all here, who's guarding the REST of the city?"

"We've covered that." Savior said.

"How?"

* * *

"_Ha ha! I, the Amazing Mumbo, shall rob your bank!"_

"_We were told to give you this note if you gave us trouble."_

"_What's this…'Dear Mumbo, congratulations on robbing the bank. Bet it makes you feel like a big man, huh? So big and strong, picking on people who can't defend themselves. You make me sick, you pathetic hack. Signed…' did... every last Titan sign this? Really?"_

"_I stopped counting after 30."_

"…_I think I'll go home now."

* * *

_"We have our ways." Savior replied. "Like I said, go back up one of the attacking groups."

"Look, it's not that I'm one to complain, but I think that the attack is over, judging by the pitch of Mammoth's screams. I think we're having a little fun here at the expense of real efficiency and purple monkey dishwasher."

"…what?" Savior said, focusing back on Gauntlet, his attention having drifted while Rob was talking. And for good reason: he'd noticed something.

"And here I thought you were drifting off."

"…okay Rob, you're promoted. You're head of the Organizational Guard now. Keep Raven safe." Savior said as he slipped around Gauntlet and began running off.

"Wait what!" Lightning protested. "What is this? How come he can run off when the rest of us were told not to do so!"

"Seniority!" Gauntlet said.

"That is unfair! We were acquainted with the Titans before he was around! We should be allowed leave as well!"

"It is somewhat pointless brother. This is a unique battle, as in we are one step away from fighting over not the scraps of victory but the scraps of battle itself." Thunder said. "Besides, argument is useless, considering when it comes to Raven, the jacketed one shares a-MMMPPHHH!" Thunder mumbled through his now-covered mouth, as Jericho pointed to the three child heroes still with them and then put a finger over his lips.

"Shares what?" Melvin asked.

"Uh, dessert!" Gauntlet offered.

"Oh, right. Sure, that'll get you places." Melvin replied.

Gauntlet really hoped that sentence meant what it said on its face.

"Well, guess you're stuck with me Raven. Your boyfriend ran off. Hope I serve." Gauntlet said as he turned around. "Don't worry, I can do this keep teammates alive thing."

It was a good thing Gauntlet had his back to Raven.

It kept him from seeing the brief spike of pain that had crossed her features.

Pain she had all too-dark reasons for.

* * *

Savior had his own reasons. He always did.

As both Hotspot and Killowatt went off the end of the pier and into the water. Their muscle, Wildebeast, had been drawn off fighting Disrupter, and Billy had used their reluctance to really cut loose to his advantage, piling on the clones until he'd shoved the pair into the drink, forcing Killowatt to power down to avoid harming himself and forcing Hotspot to do likewise to prevent boiling the immediate water and doing harm to Killowatt. The time needed for them to get out and dry off would be more then enough for Billy to run away or sneak attack one of his fellows.

If Savior hadn't spotted the bum rush.

"Approaching. Draw down on my mark." Savior said into his communicator as he approached Billy, who was yucking it up amongst his many clones at tossing the two heroes into the drink.

With that many eyes, it wasn't long before they saw him.

"Well well, if it isn't the white haired ratfink!" Billy Numerous chortled, as he began dividing himself anew, again and again.

"WELL WELL WELL WELL!" Savior retorted. "IF IT ISN'T FAT, STINKING BILLYGOAT BILLY-BOY IN POISON! HOW ART THOU, THY GLOBBY BOTTLE OF CHEAP STINKING CHIP-OIL? COME AND GET ONE IN THE _YARBLES_, IF YOU HAVE ANY _YARBLES_, YOU _**EUNICH JELLY THOU!"**_

Billy was done dividing. He was too busy staring.

"…did y'all just have a stroke?"

"No, actually. One, that's from a book called _Clockwork Orange_. Two, I've noted you stop dividing when you're confused. Oh yeah, three." Savior said, and pointed behind Billy.

Billy Numerous turned around…as Wonder Girl and Supergirl floated down.

"Well, of us anyway." Savior commented.

"I bet I knock more of them out then you do!" Wonder Girl said.

"Bet taken!" Supergirl replied.

"OH JINGLE BELLS!" Billy cried.

And as the pair of girls slammed into his masses, Savior could swear he heard the sound of bowling pins.

"Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited." Savior said, and left. He'd planned to walk right back to Raven.

If Pantha hadn't been thrown into him.

Luckily for Savior, the impact just knocked him flat. Pantha had more forward momentum despite crashing into the white-haired hero, and as a result ended up in the water alongside Hotspot and Killowatt.

"…what the devil…ow." Savior said, getting back up as he shook his head, trying to get past the bell-ringing he'd just been given. "Did anyone get the number of that…"

And then he spotted the reason he'd just been flattened, as Sabotage continued his flight. He'd had enough of the chaos, and after getting rid of Pantha, he'd decided he was getting out while the getting was good.

However, some of the Titans had something to say about that, as Bushido came leaping down, slashing with his sword.

And Sabotage held up his briefcase. Normally, Bushido would have just cut right through it…but, not knowing the possible result, the young samurai was instead forced to abort his move at the last second.

Something Sabotage took full advantage of, as he lashed out with a kick, knocking Bushido off his feet. The samurai rolled to break his fall, springing nimbly upright…and twisting his ankle, causing him to sprawl on the ground…as Sabotage lashed out and buried the toe of his boot in the side of Bushido's head, sending stars exploding in the warrior's vision.

"Cord Radfory." Savior growled: no wonder Pantha and Bushido had been tossed around like playthings. Organizing so many Titans must have proven harder than Raven had expected or let on: surely she would have sent blaster-types after the Hive member otherwise. Where was Blue Beetle, he had all sorts of distance wea-

He was gone. Specifically he'd been drawn off to also help with Disrupter, who was proving to be a gigantic headache. With Bushido down, that left…

Morgue.

And Sabotage was on a collision course with her.

"Damn!" Savior yelled, as he took off towards the pair, even as a Shimmer strand pulled out his communicator. "Morgue! Incoming!"

"What? Oh, I see him!" Morgue replied, as she began yanking out her tranquilizer gun.

"What-wait Sophie no he's got you…!"

As Sophie aimed her weapon…and her arm abruptly spasmed with a sudden muscle cramp, causing her to fire just to Sabotage's left. She gasped, trying to get her other gun up…

Too late, as Sabotage reached her and slashed out his fist, slamming it into Morgue's masked face and knocking her right off her feet.

"Damnit." Savior growled, as he paused to check on Bushido (who was stunned but relatively unharmed) and then sprinted to Sophie's side. "You all right?"

"I just froze when…I…" Morgue said, unsure of what had just gone down…and feeling ashamed for it. They'd been right to stick her in the rear, and she couldn't even do that…

"He's slippery like that. BUT NOT SLIPPERY ENOUGH…!" Savior snapped as he slipped around Morgue, dug his Shimmer strands into the ground, leaned back, and lanced towards the fleeing Sabotage.

He never caught Sabotage's response, as the red-haired Hive member turned and roundhoused Savior right out of the attack, sending him crashing to the ground.

In case you were wondering, it was "I have ears you know."

"Jackass." Sabotage said to himself as he turned and continued running. He didn't have very far to go.

As he arrived at one of the vehicles that had been unpacked by his associates while hunting for the MWS: A Hummer H1. Apparently someone in Europe felt they weren't manly enough, and their insecurity was Sabotage's gain, as he kicked out with his armored boot and smashed the driver side window open, throwing in his case before reaching inside…

And leaping aside as a Shimmer strand buried itself in the door.

"YOU BAST-ARGH!" Savior yelled as he pulled himself in via the strand, trying to punch Sabotage. All he managed to do was punch the side of the Hummer as Sabotage dodged aside, and even as Savior recoiled Sabotage lashed out with his own fist, knocking Savior backwards.

_What the devil is going on? I shouldn't be doing this poor-!_ Was all Savior managed to think as he tried to recover…as Sabotage pulled the door open and slammed it right into Savior, knocking him down again, as Sabotage jumped into the giant car and shoved the skeleton-key like tool he'd produced from his jacket into the ignition and cranked the engine.

Savior pushed himself up…as the headlights ignited and bathed him in their high beams.

"Oh bleep bleep."

Only a last second jump prevented Savior from being run over, again: instead he was merely knocked over the hood of the car, where he crashed against the windshield and exploded a spider web of cracks over it before he rolled over it, over the roof, and off the end as he crashed back down on the dock.

"…I think that crossed the line from poor performance to karmic retribution…though I'll be damned if I know what for." Savior coughed as he got back up, checking his face for cuts…as a few darts flew past him. To his credit, he didn't get startled.

"Savior? Are you all right?" Morgue asked as she re-joined him, aiming her gun and firing after Sabotage as he fled in the giant All-Terrain vehicle.

"I'll live."

Morgue was about to say something else when Bushido also joined them, his blank face not concealing his annoyance. To her surprise, he briefly spoke, albeit in Japanese. She'd thought he was mute.

"No point. You've already seen what his probability altering powers do…in fact I think they're getting stronger." Savior griped. "Attacking as is won't do…what we need…is your fellow…"

Savior turned, pulling out his communicator.

"I got this guys. Go back to guarding the line. I suspect anyone else who tries to slip through will have a considerably HARDER time of it." Savior said as he took off, his communicator having locked onto the person he was searching for. "As for Radfory, let me handle the bad luck!"

Morgue and Bushido stared after Savior for a bit, before Bushido turned and said something else in Japanese to Morgue. Though she didn't understand the language, she could tell the tone.

"I can never tell what he's thinking either." Morgue said.

She understood Bushido's one word reply: she did happen to know what a _baka_ was.

* * *

If Savior had felt the need to explain, it was simple: fight fire with fire. Deal with a probability alterer with another probability alterer. And the Titans had just one: the Hive turncoat Jinx, whose bad luck hex blasts were based on the same concept. So Savior had tracked her down.

He didn't know what she was doing in a warehouse. Maybe she felt ashamed fighting her old team. But he had bigger fish to fry then lingering issues.

And hence, instead of being utterly ravaged by Savior's neurosis and/or bias, Jinx found him grabbing her wrist.

"Can't just stand here Jinx, have to earn your keep. But lucky you, I have just the job!" Savior said, as he tucked a Shimmer strand behind Jinx's back to help her along without risking pulling her arm out of her socket.

"Huh? Wah?" Jinx said, completely confused. Damn it, he'd probably freaked the girl out with his injuries and the bile he felt bubbling inside him in regards to Sabotage.

"I need you!"

"…but…but…!"

"Yes I know what you were assigned to do, I'm pulling rank! Come on!" Savior said as he escorted/dragged Jinx out of the warehouse. Jinx stared for another second before her eyes flicked to the still raging battle in the distance: the Hive probably knew they had lost by now but they were fighting on solely due to their aggravation at the fact.

"What?"

"Remember Radfory? Sabotage? He just lucked out and drove off in one of these cars. I need your help to give pursuit, deal with his damn probability altering."

"…but why…"

"I don't have time to pull someone else out of the fight, you're free and needed!" Savior said. Jinx stared: so he HADN'T see her let Seemore go? According to what she heard of Savior, good AND bad, he didn't miss much…

"…uh…"

"Please try and collect your thoughts swiftly!" Savior said, as he continued dragging Jinx along.

"…wait we're chasing Cord?"

"Yes."

"On foot?"

"No. Too slow."

"Wait wait, I don't want to get dragged through the air…!"

"Not swinging either. He can screw with actions. Too dangerous." Savior said. "Option 3."

And Savior finally pulled Jinx around one of the crates, as she stared at what was concealed behind there.

"…Vic's car? You're stealing VIC'S CAR?" Jinx said incredulously as she stared at the T-Car.

"Steal is such a dirty word. I prefer 'circumstantially acquired'." Savior said, as he aimed his communicator at the door and pressed a quick series of buttons. Pass code accepted, the door sprung open. "Besides, he let me have the access codes for a reason."

"…he hasn't told ME the codes…" Jinx grumbled.

"WILL YOU GET IN!" Savior yelled as he literally grabbed Jinx and threw her into the passenger seat, following her as he got into the driver's seat. "And put on a seatbelt."

"…did you do that just to take a look up my skirt!?" Jinx yelled as she adjusted herself, feeling angry and embarrassed.

"Oh please, like I need that sort of drama…keys, keys, keys…" Savior said as he hunted around the car. "Damn it, Vic has the keys!"

"Don't look at me, he didn't even bother giving me the codes." Jinx groused. "Hotwire it."

"You think this is some car just off the lot? Nothing that crude will work." Savior said, as he held out two fingers.

And the Shimmer flowed forth and formed into a key-esque shape.

"However I happen to be quite sophisticated." Savior said.

"The ability to stick your organ into something is hardly considered sophisticated." Jinx smirked.

"…quiet rookie." Savior replied lamely as he jammed the Shimmer into the ignition and started the car up. Jinx just smiled quietly.

"You know, it doesn't exactly say much…" Savior said as he hunted around for the stick.

"_**Preparing default mode: Dukes of Hazard. Enable or Disable?"**_

"What?" Savior said at the sudden speaking voice.

"_**Dukes of Hazard mode engaged."**_

And the gas of the T-Car slammed down and the vehicle rocketed towards the end of the pier, the roar of the engine drowning out the surprised screams within.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!"

* * *

The carnage continued. More explosions and blasts erupted from the dockside battle.

And Robin leapt at Clock King, swinging his staff.

And Clock King dodged effortlessly, his body jerking backwards at a precise speed and angle, a perfect boxer's feint…as Spoiler promptly attacked the feint area, swinging a nunchuck at the current Hive Leader.

He turned his feint into a duck, and her blow in turn missed.

Flamebird attacked immediately afterward, hurling crimson-colored batarang-esque projectiles at Clock King: he shifted up at an angle to dodge one and knocked the other one out of the air with his staff…

As Batgirl leapt in, swinging out with a kick.

It slammed into Clock King's open hand…which anyone watching could have sworn was exactly what Batgirl had intended, as she shifted her momentum towards the ground, landed on her hands, and lanced out another kick at Clock King's knee…before his staff knocked it away. And even as he did that, Batgirl was on her feet in a blurr, as she slashed out with several hand strikes…that Clock King knocked away in a series of precise, expert blocks.

As Robin leapt from behind, swinging his staff again.

And Clock King turned around, both dodging Batgirl's kick and knocking Robin's staff aside so that it slammed into the also-attacking Spoiler's head, even as he whirled and slashed out, Flamebird barely avoiding his gutting strike via her costume's armor, drawing a surprised gasp from her as the four vigilantes briefly backed off.

"Spoiler?" Robin asked.

"I'm all right. Just a glance." The purple-costumed girl replied, though the way she gripped her head suggested otherwise. Robin glared at Clock King, eternally sporting that damn grin.

And then Robin hurled several Birdarangs. Clock King dodged them effortlessly, the projectiles not even damaging his long brown coat, as Flamebird leapt back in with her own kick…and Clock King grabbed her ankle and pulled up, flipping her face first onto the ground.

Another feint…and it was again, pointless, as Clock King whirled back around and blocked Batgirl's fist with his cane, and then interrupted her attempted throat grab with a slash of his knife, before bringing up his knee to block her own knee strike and bashing her with his cane to knock her away, before ducking down and letting Flamebird's electrified bolo fall over his head, and then jerking away from Spoiler's sneak attack punch and rapping her in the ribs with his cane to drive her back…

And then abruptly dropping his knife, reaching behind himself, letting Robin's staff fall into his hand as he grabbed it, whirling around and roundhouse kicking Robin backwards.

As Robin sprang back to his feet, Clock King quickly retrieved his blade, adjusting his glasses as his four attackers backed up again.

"Robin, what's going on?" Flamebird asked, a tinge of despair in her voice.

"…not normal." Batgirl said. "…sees different."

"You're right Batgirl. From my analysis…low level precognition." Robin said.

"So your title isn't just ceremony. You are correct Robin. While your consciousness' are chained to the immediate here and now, mine allows me to see approximately 4.6692 seconds into the future. At all times. Every move, every attempt at teamwork, misdirection, trickery, is quite pointless. I know your plans almost as soon as you do." Clock King said. "So tell me, scion of the Bat. What do you do when your renowned skills, the fighting genius of the Batgirl, and potential surprises from the other two, are worthless?"

"…I was thinking…keep trying to hit you until you fall down." Robin replied.

"Oh come now, surely you're not THAT one-note when confronted with your superior." Clock King replied, again adjusting his glasses. Spoiler glanced at Robin, but his grim face showed nothing except a focused, if somewhat resigned, intent to continue on. Surely he had a plan though. He was Robin.

But he was also human, and as he ran to attack Clock King, it appeared that that would be the dominating factor this time.

* * *

"…HHHHHHHHHHH DISENGAGE DISENGAGE STOP YOU STUPID THING!" Savior yelled.

"_**Now that's just hurtful."**_

And the T-Car came to an instant halt. Half a second later Savior's face slammed into the steering wheel, the horn blaring loudly.

"Oh great now I'm upside down!" Jinx lamented: Savior was too busy holding his face to confirm if that was true."

"…Kitt?" Savior said incredulously.

"_**Whom did you expect?"**_

"Not YOU! I thought you were on standby for now! Cyborg can usually drive by himself!…But good! You can compensate for my weaknesses!"

"_**I am not programmed to satisfy women emotionally and sexually. You're on your own."**_

"Oh ha ha ha! I meant my driving weaknesses! I never did take as many combat driving courses as I wanted! What my Shimmer can't do, do for me!" Savior said, as Jinx struggled to right herself.

"_**What are your orders?"**_

"Radar!"

"_**Please select type and intensity."**_

"There's a Humvee that just drove away! Find it!" Savior snapped as he threw the stick into reverse and began backing up as he swung the T-Car around.

"_**Vehicle located. Now let me contact Master Cyborg and we…"**_

"Sorry Kitt you're stuck with me. Cyborg's got a job to do and so do we!" Savior snapped as he slammed on the gas and the T-Car peeled off towards some warehouses.

"…his car talks?" Jinx asked.

"Oh Vic made some AI for some reason, loaned it to Terra in a fancy car once, decided that because of that he'd name it KITT as a joke, who knew they were remaking anything?" Savior said, as he twisted the wheel to make a somewhat tight turn.

"_**May I remind you the master specifically requests any non-him drivers to use a subtle hand."**_

"I am not programmed to be subtle. You're on your own." Savior retorted, as he turned another corner, and saw the hole in the warehouse in front of him. "Well at least he's leaving a trail!"

"_**Please, your driving skill is notable, you do not have to-"**_

Savior drove through the same hole in the warehouse, as he crashed through several boxes Sabotage hadn't broken on his initial trip through.

"_**OW! Why do all my drivers come without reading my warranty!"**_

"Oh cut it out, you can't feel pain." Savior replied.

"Okay wait! Hold up! What do you want me to do-GEEP!" Jinx gasped as Savior made another hard turn and threw her around the car again.

"Damn it Llarenes, put on a seatbelt already!" Savior said, as he glanced at the radar for a moment and then resumed driving. "I want you to jam Sabotage's probability powers with your own so I can get close and take him out!"

"…and you think I can just snap my fingers and do this?"

"You seemed to fly by the seat of your pants back when you were on the other side well enough!"

"Oh there you go again, bringing up my pants! Tell me, how long have you been banished to the couch?"

"I could very easily break you in half, woman."

"Promises, promises!"

"Look Llarenes, he might have something dangerous with him! I need to try and stop him before he gets away, and to do that with the least amount of pain, I need you! So…do whatever you can! Surely you have SOMETHING up your sleeve!"

"I…" Jinx said, as she briefly felt overwhelmed. "…only me?"

"Well, I'll see what I can-THERE'S THE BASTARD." Savior growled as he skidded around another corner and finally caught up to the fleeing Humvee. "Go to work!"

"It's just…I'll do what I can but…!"

"Do that! I'll handle the rest. Kitt, arm weapon systems!" Savior ordered, as he poised his fingers on his free hand to start entering commands.

"_**Sorry. Master Cyborg diverted all weapons power for his new speaker system."**_

"…WHAT?" Savior said incredulously.

"Never a dull moment." Jinx sighed.

"_**You know I cannot lie now, Mr. Savior."**_

"Then RE-DIVERT IT!"

"_**I can't do that Dave."**_

"WHY NOT?"

"_**Only Master Cyborg can authorize that. And he is occupied. By myself, I don't have the authorization."**_

"…why me?" Savior lamented.

"_**I suspect that Master Cyborg felt like 'messing with you'."**_

"…fine then. We do things the old fashioned way. Jinx you ready?"

"I'm trying to…!"

"TOO BAD!" Savior yelled as he yanked the stick and slammed down on the gas pedal again, as the T-Car's wheels smoked even as the distance between the car and the truck shrank, as Savior waited for sudden muscle spasms, abrupt twitches, possible blindness…

"MOTHERBLEEP!" Sabotage cursed: he thought he'd dealt with this! Fine, he'd…

"URGH!" Savior grunted as his stomach abruptly cramped with nausea…but it faded down after a second to merely uncomfortable levels. "…I think it's working. Keep it up!"

Jinx had no reply: she merely focused harder, as her eyes glowed an intense pink, as Savior gave the T-Car more gas and closed the distance even more…

"Bleep! He must have that bleeping bleep in there! Bleep bleep bleep…!" Sabotage cursed, as he yanked the wheel to the side, trying to cut Savior's passage off, the Humvee crashing off the warehouse wall as Sabotage's less then perfect driving skills came to bear.

"_**Master Savior I must remind you that that vehicle weighs over twice as much as myself…"**_

"And if you had weapons, that wouldn't be a problem!" Savior snapped back, as he adjusted the clutch and slammed on the gas again…as Sabotage jerked the wheel again and barely cut Savior off once more, as Savior swerved to avoid being rammed and rapped his head against his side window, even as Jinx was thrown into his lap.

"Okay now this is just ridiculous." Savior said as Shimmer strands grabbed Jinx and tossed her back in her chair.

"Are you sure you didn't plan all of this?"

"Unless the powers that be want a radical relationship shift and god knows how much drama, NO!"

"Oh please. I've heard what a selfish lover you are."

"SHADDUP!" Savior said, as he once more adjusted the stick, even as the Humvee took a tight turn and Savior followed, barely managing to avoid crashing up against the wall. "Going in again Jinx! Make with the voodoo!" Savior said, as he did the usual adjusting and applied the gas.

"Why you…!" Sabotage cursed as Savior began closing in on his left. He jerked the wheel again…

As Savior laid off the gas, and as Sabotage overshot himself, he put the pedal to the floor again, as he zoomed in on Sabotage's right and drew even with the Hive member.

"PULL OVER!" Savior yelled, as he thrust out his left hand and fired off several Shimmer lines, shattering the T-Car's driver's window…

"_**THAT WAS UNNECESSARY…!"**_

And ramming them through the Humvee's chassis…

While completely missing Sabotage. Savior goggled: how in the hell…!

"Okay how about THIS!" Sabotage replied, and yanked the wheel to the right.

"Bleep me." Savior said.

The Hummer slammed into the T-Car, Savior barely able to recall the Shimmer before he completely lost control, as the T-Car jerked to the right and crashed through the warehouse wall, as Jinx cried out and Savior's sense was lost in a blur of motion and debris.

* * *

Clock King was also a blur of motion, as he easily dodged Robin's repeated staff stabs, taking a small leap to the side and covering his eyes as Flamebird threw up her hands to her mask and activated a powerful flare within, the blinding light wasted before it had even come out. Clock King didn't miss a step, as he turned around, caught Spoiler's nunchucks on his staff, and yanked backwards, throwing Spoiler into his forceful front kick and knocking her back, her hand losing her grip on the weapon in the process.

"I didn't think you were this one note." Clock King said, tossing Spoiler's weapon away as he turned around and began rapidly blocking, as Robin and Batgirl attacked Clock King with a furious set of synchronized blows, hoping to overwhelm his precognitive talent. It didn't work, and a few quick knife slashes forced the pair to retreat.

"So you obviously must be planning something else. Interesting." Clock King said, as he adjusted his glasses. "Perhaps you wish to stall me until more of your own can come to your aid. Henh. And I thought four against one was the limit of your dishonorable behavior."

"Oh shut up. Someone like YOU has no right to lecture me on honorable acts." Robin retorted.

"I know enough to see its idiocy." Clock King said. "It's remarkably likes yours."

Robin yelled and charged in again.

"Ah yes, that famous rage." Clock King said, as he blocked once more with his cane. "It's about time that brought you low."

* * *

Round and round the T-Car went, when it stopped…

Was about 2 ½ seconds after it had been knocked into the spin, as with an inaudible curse Shimmer strands lashed out, pressing multiple buttons in a pattern as Savior activated extreme-friction shields over the wheels to increase the drag and slow them down, even as he adjusted the stick and the wheels with Kitt's help. The end resulting was two more seconds of spinning before the car stopped and peeled out through the inside of the warehouse the pair had been knocked into.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeee." Savior said in a voice so laconic he would have impressed any Spartan, as he stomped on the gas.

"_**Ow! I can't even feel pain, and that hurt!"**_

"More's coming." Savior said, as the T-Car crashed through more stacked wood and metal boxes, pieces of debris bouncing off the windshield.

"Man, when Vic gets ahold of you, he's going to kick your ass harder than I ever could!" Jinx commented.

"You always hurt the ones you love." Savior replied, as he yanked hard on the wheel, smashing through more crates as the T-Car went into a sideways drift and crashed through the door out of the warehouse.

"_**OW! NOW YOU'RE JUST DOING IT ON PURPOSE!"**_

"Sorry." Savior said, as he tore down the alleyway road he'd come out of, as he glanced at the radar. Sabotage wasn't far: just another corner and some more gas…

…and a big pile of barrels right in front of the T-Car.

"Who designed this pier, Acclaim?" Jinx cursed.

"…Kitt seal the chassis." Savior said, as he did more stick adjustment.

"_**Why do…please reconsider! I apologize for my earlier snarkiness!"**_

"Sorry Kitt, but between you and humans at risk…they can turn you back on. Humans can't." Savior said. "Seal the chassis."

"_**Sealed but according…!"**_

Too late: the T-Car smashed through the barrels, the containers flying apart and rupturing as they sprayed a strange green liquid all over the place, including the T-Car, as Savior yanked the wheel to turn…

And found the T-Car going into another uncontrollable spin.

"…_**to my instruments the barrels contain a potent lubricant…!"**_

"Oh not THIS again!" Savior cursed, as he began re-using the friction stabilizers…

"_**Wait the liquid is also potentially…!"**_

Savior locked up the wheels, as sparks flew…

"_**..Combustive!"**_

And the liquid ignited, and Savior's world became consumed again, this time in flames.

* * *

Cyborg's car might have been the least of his worries, as he was down on one knee, his mechanics scrambled and his systems screaming at the virus that had been inserted into them, as he looked up at his female copy, and she smirked back.

"I guess your warranty has expired." Cyborgirl said, as she armed up her own sonic cannon. "Well, out with the old, in with the new."

Cyborg stared for a moment…and then started chuckling.

"…you're not bad kid. But there's one big difference between you and me. Maybe you have the advantage of being an unknown factor, but that only works once. I have something that never fails."

"Oh really. What's that?"

"I can swallow my pride."

"I should well think so! Considering I didn't leave you any!"

"…you're not very bright, are you?" Cyborg said, and pointed. It took Cyborgirl a few seconds to realize he was pointing past her.

And so she turned around.

If she'd looked past them, she might have seen Mammoth, Gizmo, and Shimmer all lying in a heap. But you couldn't blame the girl for seizing on the primary sight before her: Starfire, Hotspot, Red Star, Argent, Killowatt, and Blue Beetle, all standing and aiming at her.

With Beast Boy in front of them, as behind Cyborgirl Scalpel slipped in and carried Cyborg away.

"Always wanted to do this." Beast Boy said, and pointed. _**"FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!"**_

"…beh?" Was all Cyborgirl could muster.

What the storm of firepower didn't do, a stomping T-Rex foot did.

"So much for us good guys giving the villain a sporting chance." Blue Beetle commented.

"There's a time for sporting chances and there's a time for the stomping of the curbs, friend Beetle." Starfire said.

To that, Blue Beetle had no reply.

* * *

Sabotage heard the blast, and checked the rear window behind him, but saw nothing. Not sure what had happened, but not having a bad feeling about it either, he chuckled nastily and continued driving.

And in the distance behind him, a fire burned in the alleyway, black smoke pluming from the blast…

As the burning T-Car drove out of it, as Savior yanked the stick down and put the pedal to the metal, the abrupt speed snuffing out the surface fires, even as Kitt groaned loudly.

"Are we having fun yet?" Savior growled, as he tore around another corner and finally caught sight of Sabotage again. "This has gone on long enough! Llarnes, fire at him!"

"_**This has to fall under some sort of cruelty laws…"**_

"Oh you haven't SEEN cruel." Savior growled, by now getting thoroughly mad he hadn't chased Sabotage down. "LLARNES SHOOT! WHY ARE YOU NOT SHOOT…ing…!"

The reason was, she was upside down again, her face buried in the floormat and her legs kicking almost comically. Savior stared for a moment: had the motion been THAT bad? When the explosion had happened he'd just wiped his hand with the emergency safeguard switches and focused on getting the T-Car back into the chase. Apparently that had really drawn his attention.

"Oh." Savior said, as Shimmer strands shot out and once again righted an embarrassed and furious Jinx. "I once again bring up the seatbelt."

Jinx backhanded Savior across the face, causing his neck to whiplash: if he hadn't already broken it, he would have banged his head against the driver's side window again.

"…ow." Savior said. "Okay, probably deserved that."

"If you snuck a peek…" Jinx growled.

"Really, why does this keep coming up? Why would I have even the most remote sexual interest in you? Are you not wearing underwear or a thong or…what am I saying! NEVER MIND!" Savior yelled as the T-Car began to catch up to Sabotage again, the probability manipulator cursing as he found out he hadn't lost his targets after all. "Fire on him! And put on a damn seatbelt!"

"_**Those things kill more people than they save."**_

"NEVER MIND! FIRE!"

"How? Lean out the window?" Jinx replied.

"If you're not going to put on a seatbelt, that's a start!"

"Are you NUTS?"

"Then fire through the windshield!"

"I can't fire through solid objects!"

"Then BREAK the windshield and…oh crap." Savior said, as he realized he was no longer surrounded by warehouses. He'd driven out onto an open work area. The bad news was, Sabotage was ahead of him. The worse news was, people were actually working in it at the time.

As Sabotage drove past a dock worker even as the worker found terrible cramps seizing up his legs and causing him to fall, as Savior frantically yanked the wheel to the side to swerve around him…as Sabotage drove past another worker driving a forklift, as said worker had a mild seizure and put said forklift into a direct path of the T-Car. Savior panicked for a second, before the worker recovered from Sabotage's brief attack and leapt out of the vehicle. With that done, Savior just drove through it, smashing it aside.

"Sorry." Savior preempted Kitt.

"_**I hope it wasn't made with Chevy parts. I hate to hurt family."**_

"…right. New plan Jinx. Back to blocking. Keep these people out of harm's way. Kitt, please tell me you still have the turbo boost."

"_**You have to burn one mushroom."**_

"WHAT?"

"_**Sorry, Master Cyborg programmed me to make video game references."**_

"YES OR NO?" Savior said through clenched teeth, as he paused to swerve around a large crane that thankfully didn't have anyone behind the wheel to use against them. Sabotage's powers might have been increasing, but he couldn't affect inanimate objects like Jinx could.

"_**Understood. Turbo boost activated in…"**_

"All right Jinx I…"

And abruptly the boost activated.

"_**Now seconds."**_

"NOT NOW AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH…!"

The T-Car met more barrels, fortunately empty this time, before it surged past Sabotage and crashed through another warehouse wall.

"…bleeping morons." Sabotage smirked, and drove on.

* * *

His face mirrored Clock King's, as he adjusted his glasses and looked at his four tired and injured opponents.

"I really must claim victory here Robin. Perhaps my team fell apart like wet cardboard, but I still fought you and your three friends to a standstill." Clock King said. "I'd say that counts for something."

"Yeah well, even the Spartans lost in the end." Gauntlet said as he strolled up. "You want help Robin? Maybe Mr. Gray here will find that _I _ can hit a guy with glasses."

"…no Gauntlet. This is enough of a fustercluck already." Robin said, as he lowered his staff. "All right, so you gave us the runaround. Bravo, bravo. You've still lost. And not just in the overall sense. You, yourself, as well. Because there is a crucial difference between being able to see what we do, and being able to tell what we think."

"And what thought…" Clock King trailed off, as his grin abruptly froze.

"That one." Robin said. He'd quickly figured out that going one on one (or four on one) with Clock King was proving to be a losing proposition, so he'd relayed an alternate plan to Raven. And while he and his allies had kept fighting to stall, she'd passed it on in turn.

As Clock King felt someone tap him on the shoulder, and he turned around.

How do you beat someone who sees everything you do?

Find a hand quicker than his eye.

As Kid Flash waved at the Hive's new leader. He'd been absent from the battle, attending other things. But he'd said for them to call if he was needed. And in the end he was.

And Clock King found out that knowing that a master of the Speed Force was a tenth of a nanosecond away from, as it was said, clocking you, didn't help anyone.

A few moments after the villain hit the pier, knocked senseless, Gauntlet strolled over and stomped on his glasses.

"Bet ya didn't see THAT one coming!" Gauntlet said.

"He did. His reflexes just could not react." Batgirl replied in a straight correction.

"…thanks, Batgirl." Gauntlet said. Batgirl nodded, as Gauntlet tried to think of something else that wouldn't be shot down by someone who had had the humor forced out of her. Maybe he could go fight that Disrupter-no, she was down too. She'd proven troublesome, but eventually the Titans had poured enough manpower on her (including all of Titans East) to finish her off. She'd been the last to fall, around the same time as Clock King.

"Well, I've been about as necessary as Stevie Wonder's monocle." Gauntlet commented to Robin.

"Be thankful for that." Robin replied, as he finished checking Flamebird and Spoiler for serious injuries. "With Clock King down, I think that just about wraps it up…"

"Good because I have to go, was right in the middle of something, later!" Kid Flash said as he was abruptly by Robin's side. He was just as abruptly gone.

"…nice to have Bart getting back to normal." Robin said.

"Yeah, that mess with the Rogues could have gone a lot worse if Cassie and I hadn't been in town. They say after that failed hit, those guys have gone so deep underground even the Calculator can't find them." Gauntlet said.

"…yes…why were you two there again?"

"The Uberton Isotopes were playing a game there. I'm not sure why Cassie was there, something about a bad oracle from Delphi or something…"

"If that's what you say." Raven said as she walked up, her "bodyguards" with her.

"Very nice work with the organizing Raven. Not perfect, but you're not." Robin said, cutting Raven off before she could criticize herself.

"Thank you. I've informed everyone…Kara said she heard something in New Mexico and had to fly. The curse of being Kryptonian I guess. Red Star wanted immediate transport back to his home, so Cyborg did that for him…oh yes, and the twins ran off, saying they either wanted a victory tamale or they had to stop their uncle from eating pencils on their cousin's table, my Spanish is a bit rusty. Orders?"

"Secure the Hive. Maybe send someone after Buzz Bomb…oh, and make sure no one talks to the press when they arrive." Robin said.

"And what should I do Robin?" Gauntlet asked.

"…I'll think of something." Robin said as he walked off. Gauntlet blinked, and then he glanced over at Flamebird and Spoiler, who were still standing nearby.

"So ladies, how YOU doin'?" He said. The two seemed torn whether to be amused or mildly bothered.

"Dream on love glove." Flamebird replied, though her tone indicated she'd gone with amused.

"Story of my life…" Gauntlet sighed.

And then he heard it.

* * *

A short while ago…

Savior crashed out the other end of the warehouse, the last of his patience exhausted. Not that that was hard to do…

"Maybe I should just drive you into the ocean and be DONE WITH IT!" Savior yelled, as he slapped the wheel hard.

"_**I am simply calibrated for Cyborg's superhuman reflexes and his built in preferences. You took the car without his permission, there are going to be problems."**_

"Can I just go home?" Jinx asked, looking a touch green as Savior took another turn, once again locating Sabotage in the maze of the pier thanks to Kitt's radar and giving chase anew.

"NO!"

"Can I drive?"

"NO!"

"Are you a NON-selfish lover?" Jinx said quickly.

"NO!…YES! NO…I…what are you, 10? Go back to jamming! Kitt get the turbo boost ready again, and this time do it WHEN I SAY!"

"Jam, jam, jam, I feel like I'm part of this complete breakfast." Jinx complained. "I wish this thing had weapons…!"

"_**Well, I actually do have one. But you won't like it."**_

"What?" Savior and Jinx said at the same time.

As Sabotage crashed into a dumpster, causing it to spin into the alleyway road from the impact, just in time for the T-Car to crash into it, sending it spinning back out as the impact rocked the car and sprayed garbage on the windows.

"ARRGGGGGGGGGGGH! USE IT!" Savior yelled.

"_**Really."**_

"I DON'T CARE, JUST SHOOT IT!"

"_**Steam powered frog cannon activated."**_

And a moment later, an unfortunate amphibian splattered on the rear window of Sabotage's Humvee.

"…dah PHUCK?" Sabotage said. In his car, Savior had no reply.

"…why did we always LOSE to _you?"_ Jinx almost whined.

"_**I suspect it was because you were the 'bad guys.'"**_

"But I just robbed banks and bleep! This guy's wrecking the whole pier district!"

"_**He is a 'bad guy' too."**_

"Not him, HIM!" Jinx yelled, pointing at Savior.

"_**Yes, but HE does so for great justice."**_

__"I'll grate something, that's for sure." Savior groused, as the T-Car began closing in. "All right Jinx, are you jamming?"

"I'm doing what I've been doing since you dragged me into this!"

"Better than nothing. Best hope that better doesn't make us drive into the nearest toxic waste tank." Savior said. "Kitt, get the turbo boost ready. JUST READY, NO TURNING IT ON YET."

"_**Affirmative."**_

"You bleeps just don't know when to give up." Sabotage cursed as the T-Car began closing in again. Sabotage lashed out with his talent, even as he began swerving the Hummer back and forth, ready to pancake Savior and Jinx if they tried to drive up on either side of him.

"Hey Jinx, you ever watch any of those Wildest Police Chase shows?" Savior asked, as he took his left hand off the wheel.

"What?"

"The police have this stopping technique. It's called a P.I.T Maneuver." Savior said, as Sabotage jerked across the alleyway they were driving through and Savior slid back to dodge, even as Sabotage immediately swerved back to prevent them from sliding up the open space.

"You're doing that?"

"Not exactly."

Savior turned to roll down the window…and then realized he'd broken it already. So much to focus on. Time to end it before it surpassed his abilities.

"If this works, I think I'll call it the PIT-BTTW variant."

"BTwhat?"

"Yeah." Savior said.

As he swerved to the right, and Sabotage moved to block him.

"Balls To The Wall." Savior finished, and undid his seatbelt.

And let go of the wheel , leaning up and out the window as he fired off a Shimmer strand. This time, he didn't aim for Sabotage.

The Hive member's left front tire exploded as Savior tore into it with a Shimmer hook, and Sabotage yelled in surprise as the abrupt change to the mechanics of the front axel made his car swerve violently to the left, as Savior yanked himself back into the T-Car and grabbed the stick.

"_**Now I see why you were so insistent on seatbelts…"**_

"BOOST NOW!" Savior yelled, as he hammered down on the gas.

The additional blast from the high-octane propellant buried the speedometer, as the T-Car exploded up the alleyway road, as Savior fired out Shimmer strands, several grabbing onto the chair behind him and the rest grabbing Jinx a second before the T-Car slammed into the side of the Humvee, interrupting its spin with a shrieking crunch of metal.

"OFFFFF!" Jinx wheezed as the sudden change in inertia caused her to be winded, but it would have been a lot worse if Savior hadn't grabbed her and himself, as the T-Car roared down the alleyway road, pushing the Humvee along with it.

"BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPP!" Sabotage screamed inside his own car.

"_**Oh this is the last straw! Tell Master Cyborg you are not allowed to drive anymore!"**_

"Sure! ROLL OVER YOU BASTARD!" Savior yelled.

"Are you crazy?" Jinx yelled.

"Crazy like a fox! Let's see him give us bad luck after he gets rattled around like a can of peas!"

"What if we hit a wall?"

"I checked the radar, we're entering another open space!"

"I know. We just passed by some Titans!"

"Good finally some…!"

And then a sudden terrible possibility came to Savior…as more Titans passed by his own window.

* * *

"Robin did either one of us recruit Turbo Teen?" Gauntlet said.

"What?" Robin said, having caught the noise himself.

"Didn't think so. In that case, INCOMING!"

* * *

"…Kitt please don't tell me we went in a circle." Savior said.

"_**Affirmative."**_

"…oh." Savior said. It appeared Sabotage had had one last burst of bad luck in him. By ramming him in the way he had, Savior had cut off his line of vision. And hence he couldn't see where he was doing when he'd driven/pushed Sabotage into the open space he'd read on the radar…which turned out to have been the same space where the Titans and the Hive had been fighting.

That by itself wasn't so bad.

The many cars that the Hive had left scattered all over the dock while hunting for the MWS, a good number of which had not been moved by the battle, notsomuch.

"Oops." Savior whispered.

* * *

The two cars slammed into a parked Lotus, and Sabotage's Humvee went airborne, flying up and crashing over on its roof as it slid and crashed into a nearby Ferrari, as the T-Car spun violently off the impact before it's tail end hit another Lamborghini, the car ricocheting off the expensive foreign vehicle like an out of control pinball as it's front end impacted with a MINI, the T-Car pushing the small vehicle along before they crashed into another Ferrari, the T-Car once again violently bouncing off the impact as they rear-ended a jeep before doing another lazy spin and coming to a complete stop.

For a moment, silence.

"…Titans quick, get over there and…no wait not ALL of…!" Robin yelled, as he found out that without Raven organizing things, giving orders to over thirty people could cause sudden confusion…

And that was all that was needed, as Clock King abruptly sprang to his feet, knocked Speedy away with a quick, precise kick, and grabbed onto Disrupter, who'd been laid down next to him to be restrained. Except the T-Car's abrupt entrance had caused the Titans around his, Disrupter, and Abrasion's forms to briefly forget about the restraining part.

"TITANS DISTANCE, QUICK SHO-!" Robin yelled.

"I think not!" Clock King said, as he pulled out another watch. "Another time, Titans!"

And in a quick twisting flash of light, the pair were gone, as they teleported away.

"DAMN IT!" Robin yelled. "Titans, restrain the rest! No you go over there! No there! No you…!" Robin yelled.

* * *

The pair inside the T-Car were unaware of the chaos their arrival had touched off, as Savior's eyes blinked open, and he coughed briefly, before looking at the lattice of Shimmer wires that he'd shot through the entire T-Car, protecting and restraining both himself and Jinx from injury.

"…you all right?"

"…yeah…yeah I think so…" Jinx gasped, though her tone and eyes still showed traces of the shock. "…god…I though we were going to go airborne and get ripped apart…"

"Unlikely. Sportscars have a low center of gravity. They're nearly impossible to flip. Movies lie." Savior said. "I was more concerned for you and I. This is why I told you to put on a seatbelt."

"…but you weren't wearing one."

"…semantics." Savior said. "Hang on, let me check your neck for injury…okay, you're good."

"…thanks."

"Hmmmm?"

"I could have been hurt."

"Ah yes. Well you are on the team." Savior said quietly. "That's what we do."

Kitt's loud groan abruptly deflated Noel's claim.

"…more or less." Savior said, as he retracted the Shimmer strands. "You did good work too Kitt. Stand down."

"_**Thank you for flying Kitt Air, please exit the vehicle so I can have a nervous breakdown."**_

"…right. Sabotage." Savior said, as he grabbed the T-Car's door and pushed as hard as he could.

Which resulted in the door breaking off and clattering to the ground.

"…oops."

"_**At least I still have my dignity."

* * *

**_Sabotage's exit was considerably more pained, as he crawled out through the broken window, snarling as glass cut into his arm and blinking more blood out of his eyes, his bandanna having been lost in the crash. That bastard was going to pay. First the driver, then Clock King for this bull bleep plan, and then maybe he'd find someone else to feed their own genitals to…

And as it turned out, it didn't look like he'd have to go far for candidates, as twin shadows fell over him, and Sabotage glared up at the twin forms of Pantha and Bushido.

"…oh…you think you've won? You think I can't take your candyasses?" Sabotage snarled through bloody teeth as he forced himself up: his body hurt all over but not bad enough to prevent him from fighting. "Come on! You think I'm scared of you! You're gonna be scared, when I'm done with…!"

And then another shadow fell over him, this one a lot more scattershot, and Sabotage looked up for the source…

As a swarm of bats surged down on him.

Cord Radfory could affect organic creature's actions…but only one at a time. Even if they were as small as bats.

And the swarm numbered in the hundreds. And they were bloodsuckers.

In the end, Sabotage was wrong. He would not prove exempt from fear.

* * *

"Cyborg please tell me I didn't hit any-" Savior started to say.

"No! Baby! What did he do to you!" Cyborg cried, pushing past Savior as he ran towards the T-Car, as Jinx carefully made her way out of the driver's side door, her own door having proven to be stuck.

"It's…I-I think I'll be…" Jinx said, as she started walking, her pace unsteady…

As Cyborg ran past Jinx as well, throwing himself to the ground and cradling the T-Car's destroyed door, as Jinx stared in stupefied shock.

"…I'll take that as a no." Savior said.

"…what? WHAT?" Jinx said.

"Yeah he gets like that at times." Savior said, having briefly paused. "Hey! Cyborg! I owe you some man-hours!"

"What did he do!" Cyborg said, apparently not even noticing Savior's promise.

"_**Will I dream, Cyborg? Daisy…daisy…give me…your answer…dooooooooooo…"**_

Savior wasn't close enough to hear the shutdown noise, but he could hazard a fair guess that was what happened, as Cyborg proceeded to yell "WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!" and bang his hand on the ground.

"…Savior, you've known Victor longer then me. Did I miss the part where he's totally insane?" Jinx asked.

"Believe me Llarnes, I was going to ask you the same question back in…" Savior replied.

"OH MY GOD! HE KILLED KITT!" Beast Boy interrupted, having followed Cyborg over, as Savior started and looked in the direction of the yell…as Terra pointed a finger in his face.

"YOU BASTARD!" She finished.

"Ha ha. One, he's not alive, and two, he gave no error or distorted messages. He's being a drama queen."

"I will rebuild him!" Cyborg declared. "Better! Faster! Stronger!"

"Yes yes you do that I'm just going to go over here and you know arrest the criminal who forced this whole situation to happen…" Savior said as he turned and began walking back towards Sabotage's crashed SUV. "Oh no no problem I was just in a car crash but hey I'll do it no rush…"

And Savior went around the Hummer…and found an unconscious and restrained Sabotage being dragged off by the leg by Pantha, his face pitted with strange wounds…as a giant swarms of bats began converging near a surprised Savior, reforming into Morgue.

"It's taken care of." Morgue said.

"…oh." Savior said, blinking…before he realized something. "Well, maybe I didn't have to take care of him, but I still have to take care of you…"

Shimmer strands flowed out, reaching into Sabotage's crashed vehicle and pulling out his forgotten briefcase.

"Lest things like this get forgotten." Savior said, and opened the case.

There was a few seconds of silence.

"…somehow I'm not surprised." Savior said, looking at the emptiness within. Sabotage hadn't had the MWS.

"It was in Disrupter's case, as it turned out." Robin said as he walked over. "It's been secured."

"Really? You mean, someone's keeping track of things besides me? IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!" Savior declared, raising his arms. "Well that or the odds got better with forty people around…"

Scalpel announced his presence by abruptly stomping on Savior's foot.

"OWWWWW!" Savior yelled, hopping around. "What was THAT for?"

"Not this year, Savior." Scalpel replied.

"Ow, no no Nigel, that was sarcasm, I'm not in a bad mood, you don't have to…YEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOW!" Savior yelled again as Miss Martian floated down and stomped on his other foot. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"That's not how you celebrate after victories?" The martian asked innocently.

"NO!"

"…Star, did someone make an unauthorized clone of you?" Gauntlet asked the alien.

"You humans _can _be very confusing." Starfire replied.

"But Nigel's Blacktrinian."

"That just makes it worse."

"…wait, who's confused again? Because I think it's me." Gauntlet said, holding his head.

"Actually Megan, you shouldn't…" Robin said, and then his communicator rang, as he paused to answer it. "Yeah?"

"Robin, problem! It wasn't just Clock Boy who ran off during that demolition derby. Mammoth and Shimmer have disappeared too!" Bumblebee reported.

"What? How could…damn." Robin said, as he switched to the main band. "Everyone not involved in a task, spread out and search! Mammoth and Shimmer managed to slip away during the distraction: they can't have gotten far! Find them!"

"…is anyone else going to hit me? Those escapes were technically my fault." Savior said, glancing around warily.

"Technically correct is not always the best kind of correct." Robin replied.

"…perhaps. Besides even if-OW!" Savior yelled as Morgue slapped him on the back of the head. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

"For you to stop there."

"Why does-OW!" Savior yelled as Morgue smacked him on the back of the head again. "WHAT?"

"That one was to grow on."

"I swear you people…!"

Gauntlet bopped Savior with a Gauntlet hammer.

"OW GODDAMN IT ROB! WHAT THE HELL!"

"What, we're not giving hit on the head lessons?"

"NO YOU-OW!" Savior yelled as Gauntlet bopped him again.

"Sorry, my finger slipped."

Savior growled, but held his tongue, as he tried to calm down. No need to get angry. And he didn't want to get hit again.

"…you know, I love you guys…but really. Knock it off!"

And with one quick blow, Miss Martian whacked Savior with her hand and sent him flying with a scream, as he flew off the pier and into the ocean.

"…did I confuse his words again?" Miss Martian said, looking at the stunned faces of the Titans' surrounding her.

"…I wonder." Robin said, as he pulled out his communicator again. "Aqualad, did you see…yeah, could you get him back? And check to make sure he's still in one-"

"I DON'T KNOW WHO'S GOING TO DIE, BUT I HAVE OPTIONS!" Savior bellowed in the distance.

"Scratch that last one."

* * *

"…Sophie? Are you all right?" Scalpel asked: he'd been doing a few quick stretches before he'd joined the search for the missing Hive members, and he'd noticed that instead of joining in, his human girlfriend had decided to sit down instead.

"What? Oh…uh, guess so. Not sure." Sophie said, her pale skin unusually flush. "I might have overdone it attacking Sabotage. The primal animal side takes over…I think the blood of his I drank is disagreeing with me. Give me a minute…or I can walk it off…"

"No no no. Mammoth doesn't mean that much." Scalpel says. "…and maybe you shouldn't drink blood."

"Normally I don't…but sometimes instinct just…happens. Plus he was a complete bleep bleep bleep."

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Keep it up and I know someone else who won't be kissed." Morgue said. Scalpel decided then would be a good time to go quiet.

He kept an eye on Sophie though. It wasn't like Mammoth had any good odds.

* * *

Baran Flinders _had _done some crazy things during his life, but this had to be a first: trying to outrun a 40-person band of superhumans. It was stupid, and considering the muscle the team had been packing, seemingly impossible. He'd done it anyway. For Selinda.

"Baran…?" His sister said, as he sprinted as quietly as he could through the back alleyways of the warehouses that surrounded the pier, carrying her in one arm.

"Quiet. They might hear you." Mammoth replied. And he wasn't kidding. Or maybe he was, in the sense he was kidding himself. There was no way he was going to escape. Maybe if it was just the core team, he'd have a chance, but with so many honoraries around? It was like trying to navigate a mindfield. By hopping on one foot. With a broken ankle.

But logic had never entered much into Mammoth's thinking process. His motivation was simpler: he was damned if he and Shimmer were going to spend Christmas in jail. Blood might leave them there to punish them for their "failure", though in all sense there was no way this mission COULD have ended once the numbers game became apparent…

"Then maybe the best option was not to commit the crime?" Raven said, as she appeared from the shadows before Mammoth, the giant coming to a dead stop both at the sight of her and at the realization she'd found him by mind-reading. He growled, clenching his free fist, wondering how many seconds he could buy Selinda to keep running.

"Wait…" Raven said, holding up an arm. "No need for violence…necessarily."

"Course there is. You're my enemy, I'm yours. That's how it goes." Mammoth growled.

"Enemies, yes…but we have considerably worse problems than you. Them I would destroy. You…tell me Flinders. Are you interested in a deal?"

"Deal?" Mammoth said, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"Yes. It's simple…you saw what happened. The reason it did, is because the Titans are having a special gathering this year. For all the people we know. Which means that for this whole month, there's going to be far more of us than normal." Raven said. "Including some very powerful beings. We did this to relax, and have fun. Spending time with…loved ones. And we really don't want the usual messes that your side causes. So I suggest…you pass the word on…about what you saw here. And recommend that anyone else who wants to cause trouble, is going to call down a rain of ruin on their heads unlike anything THEY…albeit not you, have seen before. Leaving town is best. Or keeping your head down. Because if we get our relaxing time interrupted, despite efforts to avoid it, well…we'll be upset. VERY, VERY upset."

Mammoth had no reply.

"…but what about…you know, the crazies?" Shimmer said.

"We don't expect them to listen. We also haven't seen much of them on the radar. As for the rest…well, it would be hard for you to pass this information on if you were in jail, wouldn't it?"

Mammoth continued to stare, as Raven's communicator rang. She answered it handlessly.

"Yes………………..no. No sign. They seemed to have gone another way…understood. Raven out." Raven said, as she flipped the communication shut. "Well, Flinders?"

Mammoth could just stare.

"I guess that's the yes. Just…don't make me regret this, Baran. Because my regret won't even begin to cover yours." Raven said. "Happy holidays."

And then in a swirl of darkness, Raven was gone.

"…what just happened, brother?" Shimmer asked, as Mammoth growled softly and resumed his escape.

"A reminder why those Titans are so bleeping annoying." Mammoth replied.

"Are you going to…?"

"I need stories to tell at the bar. One's as good as another."

* * *

It was strange, seeking out Mammoth and Shimmer instead of going to help Noel. Once upon a time, Raven wouldn't have conceived of it.

But times had changed. After the incident. After the terrible things she'd seen. The things she alone remembered.

Savior had begun to notice her distance, and she didn't know what to do. She couldn't tell him what happened. Not now…maybe not ever. And yet she couldn't truly blame him for what had happened either.

In between those cruel factors, she felt her old feelings being squeezed. Logic acting before emotion. The irony is Noel would have preferred it on some level.

That was so much like him. Always concerned with the soil.

Perhaps to the point of never noticing the bloom risking to leave the rose.

* * *

Some time later, the police had properly arrived, as well as another unit from InterC.E.P.T that had taken possession of the MWS (whatever it was, Robin had never bothered to ask). With the busywork currently being handled by the "mere mortals", Robin was kneeling on another package crate, looking down at the many Titans surrounding him.

"All right, good work overall guys. Wasn't perfect, mistakes were made, but considering how thrown together this was it could have been a lot worse. Yes, regrettably we lost nearly half of the Hive…but they know to get out when the getting is good. Well, Mammoth and Shimmer anyway. I don't know about this Clock King and Disrupter…but I'll make plans for them, just in case. As for Buzz Bomb…uh, how did you put it Gauntlet?"

"He left trails of fear, jet exhaust, and urine in his wake." Gauntlet said.

"Right. Any chance he could be a further problem?"

* * *

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm pretty sure that all Red Bull has the same caffeine content." The bored looking grocery clerk said.

"CURSES! Then I'll just have to buy out your whole stock! I need to be awake, to prepare for all the Teen Titans coming at me at once!" Buzz Bomb rambled. Exactly why the clerk seemed so dead-eyed that even a raving man in bee-themed armor wasn't worth getting excited over is a question I'll leave to the horrors of retail work.

"Uh huh. Please select credit or debit before you swipe your card please."

"Oh, right." Buzz Bomb replied, doing so.

* * *

"Knowing him, he's probably turned to the bottle. Or the aluminum can. Depends on what he's in the mood for." Gauntlet said.

"…right." Robin said. "Anyway, I figure we'll head back to the Tower, sort out rooms, send anyone home who feels more comfortable there, and do the boring organizational stuff first."

There were numerous boos.

"To get it out of the way!"

More boos.

"Don't make me start handing out demerits!"

"What is a demerit?" Lightning asked.

"I don't know either, but you don't want to get one! MOVING ON!" Robin said. "Does anyone want to ask anything else?"

"Yes. What did I miss?" Savior asked.

"What?"

"I want to know what I missed! How the rest of the fights went!:

"Why?"

"You know me. I like my details. I EXPECT full details." Savior said.

"I got this one Robin!" Gauntlet said as he strolled over. "I thought you'd be anal like that Mon Capitan, so I hired a guy to watch and report all the stuff anyone missed or wanted to know."

"What? Who?"

* * *

_**AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR BUM REVIEWS**_

_With Your Host, Chester A. Bum_

**Today's Review: Lions In Winter**

"OH MY GOD THIS WAS THE GREATEST FIGHT SCENE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! There's this guy, with a clock fetish-I had a clock fetish once. Then I learned that clocks are made of metal, so I decided to stick to women-not that women usually like me-And he was like 'Find the thing in the car!' But all his minions were like 'No, we're just going to make jokes!' And I was like, "Isn't this supposed to be a fight?". But then Robin showed up! And I was like, 'Where's Batman? Did he fire Robin or something?'-Or did they just revoke his NAMBLA membership?-But then this giant bee attacked Robin! And the bee was all 'Grr' and Robin was all 'Run!'. And then the bee ran, and then Robin came back with all his sidekick friends! It was like that scene in Pluto Nash, only it didn't suck and people wanted to see it! The sidekicks were all 'Bam! Pow!' and the bad guys were all 'Ack!'. And I think one of them, was a green skinned woman, but there wasn't a Captain Kirk Lad to seduce her, so I assumed it was the heroin! And then the badguys, had their own Cyborg, only it was a woman! I guess they found the Titans' spare 'build a teammate' kit! And then Robin and Charlie's Angels attacked! Hey, do you think Batman has angels? He certainly has his demons! HAH HAH HAH HAH-I don't get it either. And then the pink one, who I think was a bad guy, decided to let the other bad guy go! There wasn't a lot of fighting there-The fight scenes were short! I'd been told to expect twenty pages for one fight, so I took extra Ritalin! Now I'm super focused with no fight! Fights aren't supposed to be short and sweet! Then Michael Bay started directing it, because all we saw was this car chase and explosions! And then, that guy with the glasses-why does that sound familiar-was all "I know what you're going to do!" Which sounds a lot like my guidance counselor, except instead of telling Robin that he wasn't going anywhere in his life, he mostly punched Robin in the face! Boy, was that guy wrong! Not the bad guy, my guidance counselor! I got plenty of places! And then I'm not sure what happened. Robin was all "I know what can beat you!" And then Glasses Man fell down. I think the hand of God hit him or something. I don't think it really happened, it was probably just the junk talking. And then we found out cars don't kill people, seatbelts do! This is why I stay away from cars! Also, I can't afford gas! Or a car! And then the bats turned into a woman! That makes me feel bad about my breakfast…I hope that family of bats I ate wasn't a hot woman too. And then I realized that it wasn't even a Christmas fight! There were no demon santas or devil reindeer! I met a devil reindeer once. They scream and have glowing hats, not noses! They act a lot like police cars!-They even have police inside.-And then this blonde guy said, 'Hey, I've seen you on the internet!' And I was all 'Interwhat?' And he said, 'Yes, that's what I want! I'll buy you a sandwich!' And I said, 'Sure, let me get my things!'

* * *

"And that's why I have my banjo! Aaaaaaaaaaaaand…my banjo. My banjo is all I have. Hooray?" The Bum said, as a group of incredibly confused young adults looked at him.

"…Bum, we KNOW all that. You were supposed to recap what we DIDN'T see." Gauntlet said.

"But I didn't see that."

"….well it was…"

"I only know what I read on the website."

"Wait…read…see…but it…you…how…in…where…I….METAL GEAR?!" Gauntlet babbled, clutching his forehead as he confused himself right into a brain cramp.

"Ah Rob. Don't ever change." Beast Boy said.

"CHANGE? YOU GOT SOME CHANGE? COME ON HELP A GUY OUT…!" The Bum said as he began waving a plastic cup in Beast Boy's face.

"It's going to be a very strange holiday isn't it." Argent commented to Raven, as the Bum pestered various Titans for change.

* * *

"I'll take strange over bad." Raven said on the orb.

"Yeah, well…there's so many of us. Who'd be stupid enough to try and pick a fight?" Argent replied, as a black-clothed hand traced itself over the orb used to watch the Titans.

"Hmmmmmm." The Lord said. "Interesting."


	2. Tidings, Comfort, And Joy

Part 2: Tidings, Comfort And Joy

_**Author's Note: Yes I'm using a ridiculous number of characters. Don't expect giant plots of character development for everyone, or maybe even anyone. But in accordance with Fic Actors Guild bylaws, I will attempt to give every secondary character at least one line. With this many people, many of them poorly defined at that, it will be hard to guarantee that, but I'm willing to give it the old college try! Even though I'm not in college…and the old college try these days seems to be trying to get a ping pong ball in a plastic cup of beer…**_

_**And now, for the sake of memory refreshment, roll call!**_

_**Robin: The Teen Wonder!**_

_**Cyborg: The Great Machine!**_

_**Starfire: The Shining Warrior!**_

_**Beast Boy: The King Of The Jungle!**_

_**Raven: Sorceress Supreme!**_

_**Terra: Earthshaker!**_

_**Savior/Gauntlet/Scalpel/Morgue: Did Not Actually Appear On The Show!**_

_**Bumblebee: Grand Stinger!**_

_**Speedy: Not Named Something Stupid Like Red Arrow!**_

_**Aqualad: Bishonen Bait!**_

_**Mas Y Menos: In Need Of A Translator!**_

_**Thunder And Lightning: Very Very Frightening!**_

_**Wildebeast: King Of The…damn used that already.**_

_**Hotspot: Not An Ethnic Slur!**_

_**Kole And Gnarrk: Not Sure What They're Supposed To Be Either!**_

_**Supergirl: The Maid Of Might! Or Paris Hilton In A Halloween Costume!**_

_**Melvin, Timmy Tantrum, and Teether: Hey, That One Girl Sounds Like Webigail!**_

_**Jinx: She Was A Villain! Now She's Not! We Think!**_

_**Pantha: A Furry Luchador!**_

_**Miss Martian: Like Starfire's Good Twin!**_

_**Wonder Girl: Can't Get Over CONNOR!**_

_**Spoiler: Her Name Is Dumb!**_

_**Flamebird: Sailor Venus In A Sillier Costume!**_

_**Batgirl: That Quiet, Asian Girl! Totally Not A Stereotype!**_

_**Bushido: That Quiet, Asian Boy! Totally Not…oh.**_

_**Blue Beetle: We're Pretty Sure He's Not Booster Gold's Friend!**_

_**Argent: Latin For Silver!**_

_**Kid Flash: We Miss Impulse!**_

_**Red Star: In Soviet Union, He Lines You!**_

_**Jericho/Herald/Killowatt: Just Happy SOMEONE REMEMBERED THEM!**_

_**AND

* * *

**_"Hi guys!" Metatron said.

Unfortunately, the action of several dozen superheroes going into battle-ready mode lacked the dramatics of a score of cocking hammers or a myriad of red dots appearing on the black-costumed figure that had been found in the Titans' main room, where he sat on the couch, poking a wriggling Silkie in the belly as the worm-esque mutant writhed playfully under his touch. The Titans had all entered the room, and found Metatron, at roughly the same time due to Robin giving a tour/refresher course to his visiting comrades when the group had arrived back home.

"…all right, first hand over the worm." Robin said.

"And then you can tell us who you are and how you got in." Cyborg added.

"The handprint thing let me in…"

"DAMMIT…!" Savior cursed near the back of the group.

"I figured that meant I was invited. And no, I like Wriggles here." Metatron said, and poked Silkie again, who clearly seemed to be enjoying it.

"The system's flawed. Letting you in via the handprint doesn't mean anything. How did you avoid all the OTHER defenses?" Robin said.

"And we really want to unwind buddy, so you'd better be good and snappy." Flamebird added.

"Wait, didn't we see him before?" Beast Boy asked.

"What?" Robin said.

"I think he was at the hotel thing…"

"Clearly I wasn't! Now let us never mention this again!" Metatron said quickly.

"What?" Beast Boy said.

"There were other defenses? Huh," Metatron continued as if nothing had happened. "That probably explains the screaming and curses I heard from the other rooms, along with some guy yelling 'But how could _I_, Kurai and my group of intrepid followers, have possibly set off the defenses? I, Kurai and my group of intrepid followers, were so careful. Nooooo...!' It went on like that for quite a while. Thank GOD I didn't imagine it. I thought I was becoming schizophrenic. Hey, thanks for letting me know, Tim."

Robin narrowed his eyes.

"Cyborg, Miss Martian, please go see if we do have other uninvited guests. Actually, Gauntlet, go with them. Just in case Kurai did sneak in." Robin said.

"What? Did you take an insurance policy out on me, or did I offend you somehow?" Gauntlet said.

"It's because you know him best, Gauntlet. Just that." Robin said. Gauntlet hesitated a bit more, but left with the other two in the end. "Now…who are you?"

"Met." Metatron said.

"Met who?"

"Just Met. Short for Metatron. But hey, call me Metatron if you want. It gets all the religious nuts going. It's fun…!"

The Shimmer shot out, grabbing Silkie and delivering him to Starfire's arms, as she clutched her pet protectively.

"Bye Lord Wormington the Third!" Metatron said, as he waved cheerfully, utterly unfazed as he looked at Savior. "Seriously, it took you THIS long? You had the Shimmer lingering around in the background since the beginning and it took you THIS long? No wonder you are a selfish lover."

Savior looked floored for a moment before he tried to put his poker face back on.

"I got it Savior." Robin said, cutting Savior off before he could speak. "Okay. Met. Why are you here?"

"And how do you know us?" Beast Boy said, still crouched down in preparation to transform and spring.

"Well there was the time I tried to kill you."

"WHAT?" Beast Boy said.

"Wild days those were! I impaled Vic. That was dramatic. Then I died! And then I came back! And you beat me up again! And then I joined. It was more interesting than it sounds, I assure you. Read all about it here!" Metatron said, as he offered a pamphlet.

"Hey! That's gimmick infringement!" Gauntlet yelled from down the hallway.

"Some would see it as flattery!"

"Don't bring mimes into th-!"

"Another time Gauntlet. All right Met. Fine. Maybe it is an interesting story. The problem is it never happened." Robin said.

And then abruptly, Metatron was not on the couch. Instead, he was right in front of Robin…shoving a communicator in his face.

A second later Robin's staff was out and striking towards Metatron's gut…as Metatron whirled up and alighted on the staff, balancing on one foot as he tossed the communicator in a lazy overhand at Savior, who only caught it thanks to the Shimmer.

"And on that note, pizza." Metatron said, as he flipped off Robin's staff…and found his body encased in black energy.

"Not so fast." Raven said, as Robin looked at Metatron with grim eyes, as Savior looked at the communicator.

"Blue Beetle…" Savior said, as he fished out his own communicator. "Scan this and my own device. See how close they match. Building a fake communicator is far from impossible."

"Uh…okay…" The tech-based superhero said, as he took both.

"Do NOT break it. Viridian will kill me if I break another one. I don't think she's buying the 'It's not my fault' thing anymore. Which it ISN'T…" Metatron said.

"Raven, scan him as well. See if his sincerity has any merit." Robin said, as Metatron continued to talk in the background.

"..mean, if you met a metal dog that ate metal, who WOULDN'T feed it with the communicator? It's just common sense I say, but NOOOOOOOOOOO…admittedly Viridian _was _a bit miffed I fed it her arm. You'd think beating up Johnny Rancid with the thing would make her happy…" Metatron said, as Raven quietly chanted her mantra and peered into the strange boy's thoughts…

* * *

_DARKNESS…POISON…CORRUPTION…_

_But Raven had expected that: she'd known the strange visitor was a demon from the second she'd seen him. Strange she hadn't sensed him before…but as she reached into his mind, she could see why. The demon aspect was deeply buried, an aspect of the boy but little else, commanding hardly any control or malevolence. Quite a bit like her own dark heritage, in a way. She quickly bypassed that innate part of Metatron's being…and beyond that…_

_A kindergarten class._

_Where a child Metatron, with cat ears and a tail, sat playing with blocks._

"_Hiiiiiiiiiii!" The mental manifestation said, before it resumed playing with blocks. Raven watched for a moment, and then picked up one of the blocks, which represented memories…

* * *

_"…he's telling the truth." Raven said a minute later. "He was a Titan, and an enemy, and all that…just not here. He's from an alternate Earth."

"Well, that would explain my readings. The scarab tells me on the surface level, the communicators ARE identical…but there's some subtle difference between the two it can't properly pin down. Crossing the Bleed would do that." Blue Beetle said.

"I found some rather lovely Daleks on the way here." Metatron said.

"…so he's from an alternate Earth." Robin said, as Blue Beetle gave Savior back the communicators. "All right. What's he doing HERE?"

"You could, you know, ask ME." Metatron said.

"Okay, what ARE you doing here?"

"Oh…no clue whatsoever really." Metatron said, waving Robin's question off.

"…are you serious?" Savior asked.

"What, you expect me to know how cross-dimensional travel works? The mind-boggling precision and to-the-letter calculations it entails? All its raw power, complexity and majesty, all within my understanding?"

"…he's got a point there Savior." Beast Boy said.

"…fair enough." Savior replied, his face cross in the realization that he should have thought of that.

"So, you don't know anything about how you got here." Robin said.

"No."

"All right…"

"Luckily this random bum knows!" Metatron said as he produces Chester A. Bum out of nowhere. Robin's eyes widened.

"Oh no not this aga-!"

* * *

_**AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR BUM REVIEWS**_

_With Your Host, Chester A. Bum_

**Today's Review: How Metatron Got Here**

"OHMYGOD, this was the greatest story I've ever heard in my LIFE…!"

("How did he…!")

("He happened to be in the street alley I arrived in, and conveniently explained it all for no apparent reason. He came for the pizza.")

("What pizza?")

("The pizza I promised him, which I was going to get before you grabbed me.")

("You promised him pizza for explaining how you got here which he shouldn't even KNOW?")

("No no. I promised him pizza for pizza. Now shhhhh, he's sharing his wisdom!")

"There's this kid, who's a demon, only he names himself after an angel to make people angry! Oh, and he hangs out with other poetic-irony prone kids called the Teen Titans! They fight for truth! Justice! Pizza!-That sounds kinda stupid, doesn't it?-And I'm still waiting on that pizza."

("They wouldn't let me get it! Do you not think I am disillusioned by the lack of pizza as well?")

"So they fight bad guys and protect the city! ...Except they don't! Since they are always breaking lots of stuff! And the press is like 'The Teen Titans are bad!', but the Titans are like 'No we are not! Shut up!'. But they keep fighting, 'cause they are heroes! So at first it was just a normal fight with the rotten Hive kids! Urgh, those guys really grind my gears! So the Hive stole a thingamagick! But the TITANS were there to save the day! HOORAY! And then the leader said 'Hey you can't steal, we'll beat you up! Give up!', and the Hive said 'NO!'-Those rotten kids!-Then, KUNG-FU FIGHT! So they fight... And they fight... And... they fight! This was a very long and boring fight since it was pretty even... Oh well! But then this Sabotage kid was all like 'I'm gonna escape with the thingamagick and take all the credit since I'm an asshole! Ha! I'm such an ass!' and then, he took a car, and drove off by himself!-Wow, what an ass!-But the demon kid saw him, and he chased, he's really really fast and could follow! And so he ran! And he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran...! And he was catching up! But then the EVIL Sabotage saw him! Oh no! So he used his probalitation powers so that he'd fall! I wish _I_ had probalitation powers! I'd make it so I'd win the lottery all the time! Then I could say good-bye to my old box! And buy brand new boxes! I'd be the envy of all my bum friends! If I had any! So then, the demon kid gets hit! But he doesn't fall! WHY NOT?! We could ask him, but.. THE DEMON KID WAS SUDDENLY GONE! Banished! Abducted! As if he never was! THE HORROR! Next thing he knows, he's crashing into my alleyway! With false promises of pizza! What happened?! Oh, as it turns out, the demon kid had a lot of residual EEEEEEEEEEEVIL magic energy from something that happened a while ago, and it interacted with the probalitation powers! Since it was chaos, it all went screwy!"

* * *

"Because it's chaos, it's just weird that way." The Bum finished. By now, most of the guest Titans had scattered to seek out rooms, not having the patience for the bizarre craziness the core Titans tended to find themselves in.

"Aha! So it was all Ricky's fault. I KNEW it." Metatron said from where Raven still held him.

"…so…you were doing the same thing we were…and…you somehow flipped here? Weren't you freaked out by the change of universe?" Cyborg asked, having gotten back from his assignment to walk into another Bum Review. He would tell the Titans that he HAD indeed found Kurai and some minor Titan enemies, knocked unconscious by the defenses, later. Maybe when he himself knew what to make of it.

"Oh, I'm used to this sort of thing by now." Metatron said. The Titans stared. "I was more worried about the trees having lights on them and people randomly singing in the streets. Some people are just weird. I poked a few with a stick."

"Did they like that?" Gauntlet asked.

"They did not." Metatron confided.

"…well…it _is _Christmas you know." Terra said.

"Huh. Christmas. Really? It was April back home. How odd."

"That still doesn't explain how you ended up _here,_ in the tower." Savior said.

* * *

_**AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR BUM REVIEWS**_

_With Your Host, Ches_

("NO! NO! NO! I DON'T CARE ANY MORE!" Savior yelled.)

* * *

"Agreed." Robin said, his daily tolerance for weirdness just about reached. He could swear Larry was due to pop out soon. "So…Metatron…you're here. What do you want to do now?"

"I'll just stay. I like Christmas. Thanks for buying me presents, by the way, each and every one of you!"

The Titans stared.

"Uh…Met, was it…" Starfire began.

"Yep. And on that note, thanks for the help, random bum! Any parting words of wisdom?"

"This is Chester A. Bum saying…CHANGE? YOU GOT CHANGE?" The Bum said as he produced the same cup and began rattling it in the Titans' faces. "OH, COME ON HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA? I promise to invest it on my ongrowing research for probalitation powers!"

"Of course. Have Savior's credit card!" Metatron said.

"Hooray!"

"What?" Savior said, as he quickly checked his person…and found, to his surprise, the card he used was still there.

"_MY_ Savior's. Learn to relax, would you?"

Savior had no reply.

* * *

"You all right?" Savior asked Raven later, as she sat at the kitchen table, making herself some tea.

"I'm fine…it was just chaotic in there. You know how Beast Boy has his room messy 'in just the way he likes it'? It was the same in his head. Needed to press through some things to get what we needed." Raven said.

"What did you see?"

"Oh, a golden bloodshot eye. Female laughter. The smell of strawberries. Screams amongst a blue…something. You know, the usual." Raven said wryly, before frowning slightly. "I also heard 'What a fun little comedy' and 'A hero…a strange paradox running around saving the innocent and the damned.' Which was followed by 'I live for paradoxes, Noel. They make my day.'"

Savior's eyes narrowed: so Metatron knew his actual name.

"And then I heard 'You know Raven, you could have been a little more subtle about this. It's just good manners.' So yes, he knew I was in there, beyond the fact Robin gave the order in front of him. And he knows us well enough to have that piece of information you so closely guard."

"Can we trust him?" Savior asked. "He seems even worse then Rob. Random, turbid, not thinking anything through. If there's a chance he could just blurt my name out…"

"Then you'll brain-rape me, right?" Metatron said, abruptly crouched on the table, as Raven's eyes went wide.

"…you were SUPPOSED to be getting checked by Cyborg and Scalpel to see if you're at risk from any residual energies." Savior said.

"I'm a DEMON, Noel. I'm ALWAYS at risk from residual energies. Ask Rae!" Metatron said, as he suddenly began to pet Raven like she was a cat, much to her surprise.

"…if you really know me, tell me what I'm going to say now." Savior said.

"Something stupid. To which I'd respond 'Look around my anxiety-oriented friend. Llarenes is not listening in to find out your really stupid name.' Seriously, Noel? I would have gone with Frank. You look like a Frank."

"…if you know me, you should know exactly WHY 'something stupid' would be the first thing out of my mouth."

"Skip the 'if you know me', you've been convinced I knew you for quite a while now. It doesn't really matter at this point. Maxwell's dead. ...Unless you haven't gotten around to killing him this time around. In which case, get a move on."

"W-what?" Savior said. Metatron grinned at him.

"Is he lying? He must be, right? He's lying! Gotta be! Oh, I am. But you weren't certain, were you? It's so fun to shake you up."

Savior clearly didn't think so, as a moment later several Shimmer blades sprang from his arm.

"Ah, the blades." Metatron said. "Reminds me of my scars. You know where I got these scars?"

"…what scars?"

"What's this about scars?"

Savior stared blankly. Metatron blinked at him.

And for a moment, Savior's fingers began to curl.

"Just stop Noel." Raven abruptly said.

"Raven…"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PARANOIA!" Raven abruptly yelled as she stood up. "I'm the empath, and the only one I'm getting bad vibrations from is YOU! You and your inability to trust anyone or anything new! It's getting OLD! DROP IT!"

"But I…"

"I READ HIM, NOEL. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" Raven said.

"He could be hiding…"

"No Noel. He couldn't. I know where to look when something's hiding. I learned that _the hard way."_ Raven said. "Drop it. We don't need you dragging down the season again."

"I just…"

"Noel, I am pulling rank. I am your superior. The matter, IS DROPPED." Raven said.

"………….okay…..ok…I'll just…go…somewhere else and…so not to…bother you…" Savior said quietly as he left the room. Raven stood still a moment longer, then sat back down again.

"You know, he isn't any better on my side of the fence." Metatron said, apparently devoid of any semblance of tact as he sat down on the table again, eating pretzel sticks. "Well, of course you know, that's him. Always an ass. It's why it's so FUN to unsettle him."

"You really should return to Cyborg, make certain there isn't a problem…" Raven said quietly.

"Like this one time." Metatron continued, like Raven hadn't said anything. "He set a couple of buildings on fire. To panic the people inside. They were never in danger, and it was part of this convoluted plan to beat this guy who fed on emotions. All in all, you could do better. Easily. But you never left."

Metatron found he was out of pretzels, and tossed the bag aside.

"After all, you were happy. Why would you leave? All darkness aside, you were happy. Happy and flattered, secure in the knowledge that you made him better. And all that aside, I'm TOTALLY sticking around now. Did you see his face? Back home he's getting used to me, he doesn't react the same way. But now? That was so refreshing. I'm totally staying."

And then Metatron was gone.

Despite all the Titans in the building, the kitchen was quiet, as Raven stared into her drink, looking at the shifting blacks of it, and wondered if she was staring into a hard slog of the road, or the road itself.

Or the nature of her sole knowledge, and all it had entailed.

And unlike Metatron, she had no answers.

* * *

"Always try and ensure one certainty. In that, any plan is worthwhile." The voice said, as Raven's prone form glimmered in the crystal orb.

"You have to be sure that it's also worthwhile compared to other plans. Is that one certainty worth more than another?"

"That, I don't know. But the certainty I do…can be built on…now…how to do so…"

"What do you desire, precisely?"

"Only one true certainty." The voice said. "Maximum effect."

"And what exactly is this maximum effect supposed to do? Can't we do without it?"

"When it comes to doing the Titans harm, m'lady…" The Lord said, as he peered more deeply into the seeing orb. "I am loathe to do without anything."

* * *

_December 4__th__._

"Okay, we're officially beginning this meeting then." Robin said, as he and the other nine 'core' Titans sat around a table. The last few days had been very busy, and Robin had figured organizing everything else he could in advance would be beneficial. "Beast Boy, read back the minutes of our previous meeting."

"9:14: Meeting called. 9:15-9:20: Debate about the merits of taking notes, then argument about who should take them. 9:20-9:30: Cyborg suggests getting pizza, resulting in a minor war. 9:45: After the United Nations finished arbitrating our conflict, we decided to take a brief recess. 10:57: We decided that we had nothing important to talk about anyway and adjourned. 11:15: Beast Boy totally beat Gauntlet at Mario Kart."

"Some time in the near future: I get a headache." Savior muttered.

"He has a point guys. We need to focus this time. Okay. First off, Cyborg. Has the room arrangements all been worked out?"

"Well, despite some earlier difficulties…"

_Sometime before December!_

"Okay guys, while this idea seems doable, don't forget the problems we had with just Titans East last time. If we're going to invite this many people, we're going to have to be well prepared in advance." Robin said.

"So…what, we set up a Hooverville?" Gauntlet said.

"Uh…"

"Not in it!" Gauntlet immediately said.

"Not in it!" Beast Boy echoed.

"Not in it!" Terra said as well.

"No, no, NO. Calm down. We have a plan." Robin said. "Cyborg is going to build some extra rooms onto the Tower. Package it with a general cleanup of our system. With all of us, it shouldn't be too hard."

"Robin, I'll have to withdraw. I have my job." Morgue said.

"What? Your job doesn't keep you busy 24/7 Sophie."

"It does now!"

"Why do I have a feeling this is an ill omen." Savior commented.

"Oh relax guys. This isn't some last minute throw together. I know what I'm doing." Cyborg said.

_SOME TIME LATER…_

"Robin, we have a problem." Raven said to her leader. "First off, the Tower no longer looks like a T. There are too many random protrusions."

"While aesthetically displeasing in theory, that's hardly a problem Raven."

"That was the bad news. The good news is that it will be solved thanks to the second problem. They can't support more than the weight of two people."

Robin stared.

"So, the additions are dropping off."

In the background there was a thudding crash and a pained, angry yell.

"At random."

"And hence we have a NEW problem." Savior growled, as he walked over covered in dust and holding a giant lump on his head. "Why am I always the one under these things?"

"Karma?" Gauntlet suggested. Savior gave him a glare, but said nothing.

"Well then. Suggestions?" Robin asked.

"I suppose I could use magical spells to temporarily turn our normal doorways into gateways to pocket dimensions that we could furbish to make them good enough for human habitation." Raven said.

"OOOOH! Just like _Tenchi Muyo!_" Gauntlet replied.

"…I veto any plan inspired by a fanservice anime." Robin said.

"Thank Azarath; the math behind those things would have been impossible…" Raven muttered. "All right, what's another idea?"

_AN UNCERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME LATER…_

"Well, in order to fit into the timeframe we had left after all the arguing, we had to cut some corners for this." Gauntlet said. "For instance, some of the walls literally only have two dimensions. Fortunately, they're walls, so as long as no air particles bump up against them…"

In the distance, Starfire sneezed, and the air was filled with raucous noise as a multitude of walls fell apart, taking a fair bit of the built rooms with them.

"…at least they didn't fall on me." Savior said.

_YOU REALLY WONDER WHEN THE TITANS MANAGED TO FIGHT CRIME…_

"All right, this latest setup should be fit for human habitation once we capture those genetically engineered beaver-carpenters that we've…lost track of." Beast Boy said.

"They didn't actually help much." Terra said.

"Unless you count biting us repeatedly as help." Scalpel said, his suit torn to shreds.

"Also, there was a minor containment leak." Gauntlet said.

"I was afraid to ask about the lead codpiece." Savior muttered.

"Also, another thing…y'know that philosophy of 'measure twice, cut once'?" Gauntlet said. "To save time, we replaced that with 'Measure once, cut once, find that the wood is the wrong size, curse, curse, use superglue, cut again, curse more, and eventually say 'BLEEP IT.'"

And another cacophony sounded in the distance as the latest efforts fell apart.

"Rob, I'm oddly proud of you guys. You didn't kill anyone." Savior said, before he formed multiple Shimmer blades. "NOW GET OUT BECAUSE WE'RE HIRING REAL CARPENTERS!"

"Some gratitude." Rob grumbled.

* * *

_December 1__st__._

"And that was the story of why we have practical rooms for you to sleep in instead of having to sleep hung up on the closet on coat hangers…though for some reason a couple of us seem to prefer that." Savior said.

"You and your kinky shenanigans." Gauntlet said, as various Titans tittered.

"I didn't say it was me!" Savior snapped, as more Titans giggled.

"Who is it, actually?" Cyborg said, as he took notes…and stopped as the reply came in Spanish.

"The twins." Savior said redundantly.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Gauntlet, find out why they're in there." Savior said: Gauntlet spoke better Spanish then any of the Titans save Starfire, who was doing something with Raven and Terra at the moment involving the female sleeping quarters. A quick exchange of rapid-fire Spanish ensued.

"Apparently, they had a horrible home life and it makes them nostalgic. I can't translate the rest." Gauntlet said. Savior stared, and then looked at the twins, who were indeed dangling from the coat hangers.

"Okay, how did it go…uh…_no es mejor una cama suave?" _Savior said to the twins.

"I didn't know camels knew algebra." Gauntlet said.

"…Rob you're putting me on."

"Only because it's fun."

* * *

_December 4__th__._

"…we managed to work it out." Cyborg said. "Everyone's set up, and we have spares just in case."

"Turns out to have been needed, with that strange Metatron person." Scalpel said. "Are you certain he's not just putting us on?"

"Larry would have gotten bored a long time ago. Besides him, anyone else who would devote so much effort to being so silly is either insane or legitimate, and since Raven hasn't complained of nightmares recently, even I am prone to give some weight to the latter. Plus he seems to keep finding holes in Victor's security setup." Robin said.

"NEXT TIME, I WILL FINALLY FIX THAT DAMN HANDPRINT!"

"So you say. What else?"

"The transportation system that the JLA was kind enough to loan us is set up and smoothed over. We've tested it several times, mostly with Star…Leonid, that is, not Kory." Raven said.

"We've also established the emergency alarms in every home territory of our guests, complete with backups. If trouble stirs while they're here, they can be there within a minute, with reinforcements if required. Hopefully this will ensure they don't miss anything."

"I'd like to say all the problems are fixed, but NOOOOOOOO…" Savior said, as he glared at Gauntlet.

"What?"

"YOU KNOW FULL WELL."

* * *

_December 2__nd__._

"So you see Kole, from a philosophical sense, the Justice League transporter system kills you, then makes a clone on the receiving area that everyone will think is you and will continue living your life in your place." Gauntlet said to the terrified looking young woman, as Cyborg, his attention focused on his hologram panel in front of him, approached.

"Okay Kole, we're ready to send you home to…"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Kole screamed as she fled the room. Cyborg stared…as Savior popped up from behind the transporter, looking cross.

"…ROB. We've already told you that it isn't like the _Star Trek _system, which theoretically does that. It works via wormholes. It's like falling through a gap to your destination."

"But it's FUN to traumatize Kole." Gauntlet said.

"Preach it brother." Jinx said, sitting nearby.

"…I'm SURROUNDED by IDIOTS." Savior lamented in his best Jeremy Irons.

"No, you're surrounded by immature people. There's a difference."

"I wonder."

* * *

"That was almost as fun as telling her about Batman working for Santa Claus." Gauntlet said.

"On _that _note, to clarify something…"

* * *

_December 2__nd__, earlier._

So many Titans meant very crowded elevators, and Kole, while carrying a box, had elected to take the stairs.

Which ensured that she didn't see the magazine that Beast Boy had left on the staircase either and shrieked as her foot went out from under her. Fortunately, her box was empty: she'd been carrying it down to actually fill it up. Her crystallization talent took care of the rest…

Mostly, for as she transformed on instinct, she ended up in a very awkward mid-slip position, and as a result, as her form tipped and then tumbled down the stairs, the unwieldy shape resulted in several tiny chips of her body being knocked off, as she came to a rest at the bottom and transformed back, as a few of the Titans came to see what the noise was.

"You all right Kole?" Aqualad said, kneeling down to check.

"OWWWWWWWWWW!" Kole whined, not used to being hurt. "Do you guys have bandages?"

"She didn't…well…?" Speedy said.

"She doesn't seem to be missing any fingers, or the like." Raven said as she knelt down to give Kole a quick heal, even as Jinx came down the stairs to see what was going on, and then paused to reach down and examine one of the tiny pieces of crystal that had been knocked off Kole's form.

"…holy BLEEP." Jinx said.

"What?" Speedy said, looking up. "Problem?"

"No just, if I remember my assessment classes…this is high-quality, no, PERFECT Nyxz-12 gemstone. Rare as hell, and insanely valuable, even with this tiny bits…I really wish I'd known about this when I was evil."

"Why?" Raven asked.

"Do I have to spell it out to you?"

"Amuse me." Raven said darkly.

"You know why. It's entirely possible that under Brother Blood's influence, the Hive Five Times Two Plus Two Divided By Seven X Cubed or whatever the hell their name is now would have kidnapped her, shattered her, and sold the pieces that resulted for obscene amounts of money."

Raven didn't look surprised…but Kole made up for it by looking equally horrified and sick.

"Hey, we were _EVIL._ I'm just saying what could have happened. It's not like I'm gonna do it NOW. I've changed."

Kole just slowly got up and backed away, waiting until she was out of sight to run.

"Is it wrong that I find that strangely amusing?" Jinx said.

"YES!' Speedy, Aqualad, and Raven all said.

"Well no need to yell."

_Some time later…_

"Jinx, what's this about Kole wanting a new room assignment?" Robin asked the former Hive member when he ran into her. "Specifically on the opposite end of the tower from you?"

"She's racist against pink." Jinx had replied without a hint of guile. "And I stand by that, EVIDENCE BE DAMNED."

* * *

"In conclusion, please be advised if I hear about any more plans to torment Kole, I'll be hopping around the rest of the season because I'll have broken my foot off in someone's behind, Tony Jaa style. Understand?" Savior said, as Sophie coughed lightly.

"So much for the new aggressive tactics of the tooth fairy…" Gauntlet said.

"Rob…!" Savior said in a warning tone. "I can very easily arrange it so you have to find the Ticklish Furry Lettuce Elvin Kicker or whatever piece of junk that has somehow been elevated to the status of needed-for-survival this year."

"I'll be good." Gauntlet whimpered.

"Good man. Besides, you don't want Kole thinking you're a jerk when you try and hit on her later, right?"

"I raise that we properly set up all of the rejections that Rob is due to get this year. Any opposition to this motion?" Scalpel said dryly.

"Dude, she's also like, 8." Gauntlet said, ignoring Scalpel.

"No, she's over 18. I've seen her medical records. She's just slight." Savior said. "But yeah, maybe if you made that error she wouldn't be to your taste."

"Wait, Rob, didn't you get Karen's phone number last time we did this? Whatever happened about that?" Terra said.

"That wasn't canon."

"That or he got distracted by those new guitar games and when he remembered he had her number she used him as a whipping boy instead. Well, at least if the phone records I came across a few months ago in the computer are accurate." Morgue said.

"…I wonder if the Doom Patrol is taking applications." Gauntlet groaned.

"I heard Morrison's been asked to do another run, Rob." Savior said.

"Then I'll stay here, with you turncoats."

"Quit picking on Rob guys. Not his fault he's the anti-Casanova." Terra said.

"Maybe if SOMEONE didn't think of me as their little TOY due to lack of DRAMA…" Gauntlet groused, apparently unable to consider it might all lead somewhere. "Because as we all know, only depressive people ever find romance in real life! This is why people never hook up at bars and parties where fun is to be had!"

Perhaps he'd prefer it if I stuck him in some IKEA Erotica.

"There are people who think that cheap Swedes are a good time…!"

"Gauntlet, are you arguing with that ceiling light?" Robin asked.

"…never mind." Gauntlet said, sitting back down…as Sophie coughed again, wincing a bit.

"You all right Soph?" Cyborg asked.

"Yeah…just getting occasional bouts of queasiness. They don't last long."

"Go see Nigel. Wouldn't be a lot of fun if you caught something. Or worse, spread it." Savior suggested. "Go on Robin."

"All right, after that trouble with who IS here…here's who regretfully couldn't make it. It's why Bart wasn't present during the Hive fight actually, he was speaking to some of them…all right." Robin said as he consulted a list. "Cissie said thanks, but she plans to remain retired…Mia also sends thanks but would prefer to spend the holidays with Oliver and Connor…"

"What about Rose?" Gauntlet asked.

"She and Eddie wanted some time to themselves after that giant mess with Neron. They also politely declined, despite Bart's efforts." Robin said.

"Makes sense: you probably don't follow getting caught up as a pawn between entities like Neron and Fate with a big chaotic Christmas party." Savior said. "Anyone else?"

"Well, Red Star technically accepted, but he takes his position as Russia's protector very seriously, so he'll likely just be around for the important stuff, and probably with one eye on the alarm the whole time. And Viridian is busy with her work with STAR Labs, and she said these sort of arrangements aren't really for her, so she won't be around as well." Robin said. "I think that's everything. Does anyone have any issues?"

"Are we counting the arrangement of Friend Rob's hitting schedule?" Starfire asked.

"Guys, seriously, this is getting hurtful." Gauntlet said.

"Well Rob, you could just…" Terra began to suggest.

"Guys, guys." Robin said, knocking on the table. "This is better for another time. We're the organizers of this event, and our fellows could use the relaxation. It hasn't exactly been easy, our recent lives. That crisis, the following year, that hotel incident, Bart's close call…"

"Good work on that Rob by the by." Savior said.

"Thanks. I was mostly inspired by that movie _Accepted_. Minus the fraud. And the college. In fact, it's nothing like _Accepted_."

"Then why did…never mind." Savior said.

"There was also that brouhaha with the amazons. What really happened there anyway?" Beast Boy said.

"They attacked." Gauntlet replied.

"Well yes, but WHY?"

"My theory is…" Cyborg began.

"Victor, if you say anything about 'monthlies'…" Raven warned.

"Never mind then." Cyborg said. "Then there was that mess where Nester got ahold of that segment of the Paradise Wall and turned himself into Kid Extant or the Epoch Kid or whatever the hell he named himself, he kept changing it. Fun, that one."

"Hey, that worked out in the end. Even brought back Wildebeast, Pantha, and Bushido." Beast Boy said.

"While that is good Gar, the fact that that idiot nearly shattered the whole concept of reality to do it…bleh. God does not play dice with the universe and all." Savior said.

"It's weird how easy it is to play with reality…God should guard his dice better." Gauntlet commented.

"He does. It's us." Savior commented. "His real accomplishment is how he got our breed to keep the universe from collapsing without paying us for it."

"Oh knock it off guys. It's not like we're living on the streets." Robin said. "Anything else?"

"Once again, are we planning, or do we need to plan, anything in regards to this Metatron person?" Scalpel said.

"Well, as far as we can tell, he's more or less a Titan, and this was intended for all Titans. And considering what we've already subjected him to, I can't think of any other way to test his story." Robin said.

"We could always have him watched around the clock." Savior said.

"And who's going to do that?" Beast Boy said.

"Not you." Robin cut Noel off. "I understand your concern Noel, but there's no way to handle it without resorting to…distasteful options."

"That's right. You get that, Mr. Metatron?" Cyborg said, as he turned in his chair and shone his shoulder flashlight where Metatron was crouched in a corner, eating a bag of chips.

"What if I say the Shimmer in my ear provides vague sexual satisfaction? That stopped Savior last time." Metatron said: a moment later there was a thud as Noel's face hit the table.

"Dude, what is it with you and junk food?" Beast Boy asked, looking at the chips.

"I…dunno. Dimensional transference did a number on my energy reserves and I'm refueling?"

"That would carry more weight if didn't sound like you were wildly searching for words." Scalpel pointed out.

"Still sounds plausible, I'd think."

"Anyway, spying on us is not cool." Beast Boy said.

"You do it all the time!"

"No I don't!"

"Elijah disagrees!"

"Elijah Versaw was a psychotic killer who turned to murder because it was the EASY option. He's LIGHT years away from Beast Boy." Savior argued.

"Was that a pun? That wasn't a pun, right?"

Savior glared. "No, I-"

"…I have to do something now Robin. I can't stay for this argument." Raven said, as she got up and left the room before Robin could reply.

"I say we blame Savior for upsetting Raven and move on from that. Meeting adjourned! And next, tacos!" Metatron said, as he left the room.

"…who died and made him King Cloudcuckoolander?" Gauntlet said.

"It's your crown to lose, Rob." Terra said.

"Look, I don't know how they do things on Earth 2 or whatever, but I'm the comic relief around here."

"Trust me, I know you're different here." Metatron said as he abruptly was kneeling on the table in front of Gauntlet. "Your boobs aren't NEARLY as big."

"…you're making that up."

"Prove it." Metatron said, and was abruptly gone.

"And apparently you're chopped liver B." Cyborg said, as Beast Boy crossed his arms and looked faux-cross.

"The debate on who the class clown is aside, guys…" Robin said. "We have one last thing."

* * *

"And it requires all of you to be here." Robin said in the main room several minutes later, where the Titans' many guests had gathered. "As you know, our lifestyle requires a certain amount of responsibility…but we're also trying to relax this month. Therefore, the last work-related issue we need to decide is some sort of feasible arrangement to ensure anyone who has to return home for work-related issues will have a swift trip there and any and all help they need."

"So wait…we have to work out arrangements amongst ALL of us?" Speedy asked.

"Yes Nathaniel, we do." Robin said. Groans rippled through the room. "I know. But I'd rather find out who works well with who, and who doesn't, and who might not be around, and all that, now, instead of in the middle of a fight. It'll be a lot of work, but it will be worth it."

"Says you. Can't Bart super-speed his way through it or something?" Bumblebee asked.

"If you asked me to list the contents of a library by number of words, I could do that. Super speed DOESN'T let me look into everyone's heads and figure out who gets along with each other." Kid Flash said.

"And even if he could, I wouldn't recommend it." Savior said. "Anything worth doing is worth doing well."

"Well yeah, but don't you get off on that administrative stuff whitey?" Hotspot asked.

"Even if _I _do, the rest of us still need to work out these details. Now…first off, is there any reason anyone wouldn't want to…"

"JINX! JINX!" Kole said, pointing across the room.

"Why don't you use an airhorn, really drive the point home." Jinx replied.

"Can we stay on topic please?" Robin said. "Okay…to begin with…"

* * *

_An uncertain but likely lengthy amount of time later…_

"Nah, Catman's never going to be a big player. Sure, he got some steroids and a mid-life crisis, but that's never going to stick." Kid Flash said.

"If you want a tough villain, how about Onomatopoeia?" Speedy asked.

"Psht, he made what, one appearance? Sure, he shot Green Arrow, but what's he done lately?" Beast Boy said.

"Unless you're certain we'll be FIGHTING either of them…!" Robin said.

"Okay okay, but what about Madame Rouge? Now SHE'S creepy." Beast Boy said.

"I still have nightmares…gad she's creepy." Hotspot said.

"Her daughter's hot though." Herald said.

"MAL!" Bumblebee complained.

"What? She is."

"You want hot, you can't go wrong with Rose Wilson." Speedy said.

"I dunno, she's kind of a slut I hear." Hotspot replied.

"Dude, nothing wrong with that…"

"How did we get on this line of conversation…" Savior groaned. "We were supposed to work out teamwork arrangements…"

"It is a basic element of war that you must know your enemy in and out. Discussing their hotness protect us from efforts to use that hotness as a weapon." Gauntlet said.

"If that actually worked, Jinx would have never ended up on the team." Terra said.

"Hey! You got a problem stick girl?"

"Believe me if I…"

"KNOCK IT OFF!' Robin yelled, ramming the end of his staff into the floor. "NOW…can we get back to discussing teamwork arrangements."

"…so, Gotham Spartans or Jump City Panthers for the Stanley Cup this year?" Spoiler said.

"Oh please, Gotham can't goaltend worth a damn…!" Cyborg began.

"STEPHANIE!" Robin said pleadingly, in a "look what you did" tone as a new debate sprang up amongst various Titans

"Better then talking T&A." Spoiler replied, as Flamebird nodded with a curt "Mmmm-hmmmm!"

"Maybe we should draw lots, the rate we're going." Savior said, rubbing his forehead. "Come on guys. Lives could be at stake."

"_¡No déjes quel Blanquito haga que esto sea mucho trabajo!__" _Said Mas Y Menos.

"They claim that your insistence on being organized shows a lack of cultural tolerance." Gauntlet said.

"Inquire if their skin has penetration tolerance, otherwise they may find themselves in trouble when Aberration eats them."

"_¡Tus traducciones no valen para nada!" _Mas Y Menos yelled.

"Something about 'shut that blonde guy up, he doesn't talk for us.' But I could be wrong." Gauntlet said.

In the end, the Titans had worked out a rough arrangement. They had also established a 60/40 odds split on the Spartans/Panthers question, rated Talia 'Al Ghul as the hottest villain around (and listened to a lengthy five-minute rant from Tim and Noel about her son Damien), and agreed to the toppings of the pizza for the next week.

Attempts to build a soapbox derby racer had been abandoned at the halfway phase due a lack of nails.

* * *

Ironically, the Titans ended up spending more time debating how to fight evil then actually fighting evil.

If Anna-Marie Sullen had somehow known that, she might have appreciated the irony she was otherwise unaware of, as she jogged down the beach. Despite what some people believed, the Floridas and Californias of the world were not always pleasantly warm year round all the time: winter occasionally traced its finger across those states as well, bringing colder weather and sometimes even snow. As a result, the beach was somewhat deserted as Miss Sullen took her morning jog, as she headed towards one of the smaller piers in the city (though not the same one the Titans had met the Hive in battle in several days ago).

She would have turned and run away if she knew what lay beneath it. But she didn't, completely unaware of the violent lusts that were stirring in the several men beneath the pier. They'd spent a night of hard partying to end up there, and their brains, on top of their intoxication, were reptilian and deviant enough for only one concept to spring to mind when they saw a lone woman heading into the shadows where they inadvertently hid.

The Titans may have had an overdose of manpower, but they couldn't know every single thing that was going on in their city at every moment in time. And while Mammoth had indeed spread the word amongst the 'E.A's' of the city of what he'd seen, and many had decided to head for greener pastures, such information could take some time to trickle down to the lower scum of the criminal society that inevitably existed in any place superheroes made their home.

Finding out there'd been a vicious rape and murder just down the beach from where they lived would have surely put a damper on the Titans' Christmas season.

But sometimes…things didn't happen.

Especially when the form flowed up from the dark water near the pier.

"What bothers me the most…"

The would-be rapists whirled around at the sudden voice.

"Is that at least one idiot would claim that you didn't commit this crime, purely based on your skin color. And more idiots would believe him."

A clawed hand emerged from the blackness.

"I have a low tolerance for idiocy."

In the end, Anna-Marie didn't go under the pier. Because the terrified and agonized screams that rang out when she was mere feet from it stopped her in her tracks, before she turned and fled for her life, her bladder giving out at the terrible sounds that had come from the darkness beneath.

When the police arrived later, their own response was more reserved, but no less deep.

* * *

_December 5__th__._

"So, you're saying the bodies were…mummified?" Robin said from where he sat in front of the Titans' massive computer banks, talking on the phone to the police. "Uh huh….uh huh…hmmmmm. Hold on a moment."

Robin switched lines.

"Cyborg?"

"Yeah?"

"You doing anything?"

"…well…nothing IMPORTANT…in an overall sense anyway." Cyborg said from where he was positioned under the T-Car. "What's up?"

"Weird crime scene. I want you to go out and take a look. See if it's metahuman involved. Keep it quiet for the moment. No need to rain on everybody's parade."

"Roger. I can do that." Cyborg said, as he stepped away from the car…and slipped around Savior, who was standing and holding the vehicle up via the Shimmer.

"When do you want me again?" Savior asked.

"Oh you'll know when I come back. Because you're staying right here." Cyborg said, as he wiped himself off with a rag.

"…you want me to stand here until you come back, holding up the car even though no one's doing anything to it."

"You said you owed me man-hours. Didn't specify doing what." Cyborg said, as he left the room. Savior narrowed his eyes, as Jinx chuckled and swung her legs from where she was sitting nearby.

"_**Were I programmed to have an ego, I would gloat."**_

"I wish you HAD shut down." Savior retorted to the computer banks that currently held the KITT AI.

"Now don't you try and run off. I'm watching you." Jinx said, mimicking a deadly serious tone that suggested she would follow Savior wherever he went. He'd directed a few threats like that to her group, in the past.

"Very funny."

"Hmmmm, don't care much for your cologne." Metatron said, as he abruptly appeared next to Savior, sniffing at him.

"WHAT THE BLEEP…!" Savior yelled, recoiling on instinct…as the T-Car crashed down to the floor, parts breaking off as Savior stared.

"…_**It's rather strange watching your body be crushed without you in it."**_

"…not my fault! You're a witness!" Savior said, pointing at Jinx.

"Sure…500 bucks." Jinx replied.

"WHAT?"

"Hey, what can I say…some people never change, in some ways." Jinx said.

"Don't make me destroy you woman." Savior threatened.

"Oh don't worry, he likes you." Metatron assured Jinx. "If he wanted to hurt you, he'd do.... something else. Can't really think of a clever example right now. Wow that's weird. I usually have something to say about everything."

"And YOU! STOP UNDERMINING ME!" Savior yelled, only to find Metatron was ignoring him, far more concerned by the failure of his gift of gab than Savior's threat.

"…AUGH!" Savior yelled, as he stormed out of the room.

"…was he always this high strung behind the scenes?" Jinx asked Metatron.

"Nah, whatshisface only gets THIS upset by what he can't understand. He can't stand not knowing. Something's wrong between him and his pretty birdie and it's getting to him." Metatron said.

"What? He's having trouble with Raven? Vic didn't say anything about that."

"Yeah, though there's probably some other things edging him on though…like that cologne…" Metatron said, smacking his lips like he was tasting something in the air. "That taste, right there, taste it? Kinda tangy. A little bit off, can almost place it. On the tip of my tongue really. Like one of those things you KNOW you know but can't bring up on memory and it's really frustrating? Yeah, just like that."

Jinx stared incomprehensively.

"Did you know Cyborg has a secret file of suggestive pictures of you stored on his computer?"

"Well DUH. I kind of posed for the…WAIT A MINUTE. HOW DID _YOU_ KNOW THAT?"

"I'm Met! I know most things. Miss Birthmark on your tuckus."

"WHAT! YOU PERVERT!" Jinx yelled, as her eyes glowed pink.

"Why does everyone assume I seek this information out? It just sort of happens." Metatron said, and then leapt to avoid a hex blast.

"COME BACK HERE!"

"Hey, good talk. Perhaps consider you confided in me with the info. Tah." Metatron said, as he leapt off to avoid another hex blast and left, Jinx giving futile chase.

"…_**I always wondered what raw insanity looked like."

* * *

**_KITT had NO idea what he was missing.

"Y HALO THAR, WANDAH GURRLZ." The yellowish tabby cat said to the blonde-haired super heroine.

"WHAT THE!" Wonder Girl semi-yelped, as she recoiled from where she was laying flowers on the monument to Conner Kent, aka Superboy. The cat had literally popped out of nowhere. Not to mention it was talking.

"NIS OUTFIT U GOT HURR." The cat said, commenting on Wonder Girl's recently upgraded costume.

"…okay is this some kind of joke?" Wonder Girl said as she looked around. "This some robot you built Cyborg?"

"IS NO ROBOT." The cat said, as he hopped over and put his forepaws up on Wonder Girl's shin. "CUDDLY CAT IS CUDDLY."

Wonder Girl flew up into the air, her arms at the ready, the uncertain situation triggering her Amazonian battle instincts. The strange cat stayed on the ground.

"WANDAH GURRLZ FLYES!" The cat said, as he stood up on its hind legs and pawed at the floating Titan. "INVISIBLE HUG."

Wonder Girl decided that, without hostility, others could figure this out better and flew off.

But when she returned with several other Titans, the strange cat was gone.

"…so…there was a cat here…talking…in weird semi-English?" Gauntlet said. Wonder Girl nodded.

"…either I've gone mad, or else the crazy meme underbelly of the internet just became real."

* * *

"You all right Sophie?" Scalpel asked.

"Yeah…just feeling queasy again." Morgue said, as she looked back at her paperwork. "It comes and goes."

"Your skin flushes when it does. I really should examine that."

"No no. Not yet. It's probably nothing."

* * *

"…Adam, those spells could have gone disastrously wrong." Raven said.

"Sorry. Demon, force of chaos nature. You know how it is, it was bound to happen." Metatron said, still kneeling where he'd popped up and surprised Raven in the middle of her spell-weaving.. "Besides, what could they do?"

"Something out of the ordinary, depending on where they went. Now I have to go track it down." Raven said, sounding more tired then cross.

"Yay, a life threatening adventure!"

"No it isn't. Go away." Raven said. "I'd…rather be alone for this."

"Oh, leave it. A little chaos never hurt anyone." Metatron said, as he briefly touched Raven's arm before leaping over and kneeling on her desk. "Makes the world go round." He added, swirling his finger for emphasis.

"Our problem is we never get it in small doses." Raven said quietly, more to herself then Metatron.

"I'm flattered you don't consider me a small dose."

"I don't consider you truly chaotic at all. Disruptive, maybe. But you're a choir boy to the real deal."

"Mayhaps you can tell Noel. Don't feel like dealing with the paranoia. Once was enough." Metatron said: he didn't have to be Robin-caliber to notice how Noel's name caused Raven to deflate. "So. Let's chat! Just us girls!"

"…you wouldn't understand."

"I guess that's fair." Metatron said.

And then he walked over to her bedside table.

"Easily fixed too." Metatron said, as he picked up Raven's mirror, and as her eyes widened, knocked on it.

_FLASH!_

And as Raven continued staring at the brazenness, her mirror fell on the bed.

* * *

Raven wasn't the only one having problems.

"So you're Batgirl!" Flamebird said: true, she'd fought alongside the martial artist, but this was the first time she'd seen her out of costume (well, with her mask down anyway) as Flamebird, who had actually changed out of her own costume for more casual clothes, was unpacking a suitcase in the room the two were sharing. "I remember Robin going on about you when we teamed up against Savant, said you'd kick his ass all over the place…hey how do you get a job with Batman anyway?"

"Uh…he found me. When I needed finding." Batgirl said quietly, not sure what to make of her blonde roommate.

"Oh man, you have it so easy you have no idea how hard it is to break into this business I was playing tennis and one day I stopped a mugging and I thought hey this was kinda fun so I did some research but there's no damn schools for it and damn that's annoying…" Flamebird started, as Batgirl stared in uncertainty.

_A few dozen minutes later…_

"And then they're all like, 'There's no WAY orange is the new puce!' Amirite?" Flamebird said.

Batgirl, her vision considerably more glazed now, stared in stunned surprise as Flamebird finally stopped talking…which Flamebird took as an opening to keep going.

"I know! They're just soooo wrong! So anyway, I sez…"

_Who knows how long later…to Cassandra Cain it must be an eternity…_

"…AND THEN they caught K-Fed and J-Lo at the club! Can you believe it?"

"Someone please kill me now." Batgirl said to herself, as Flamebird continued happily blabbing away. "Or turn me evil for no reason. Anything but THIS."

* * *

"This is really not necessary." Red Star said: he had returned briefly to the Tower to see what the schedule was…and had found Argent checking him with a Geiger counter.

"It'll help me sleep." Argent said, as she waved the device over the Russian teenager.

"Oh, just because my powers are nuclear, and I'm from the Ukraine, and I'm a Chernobyl survivor, and I used to live in an abandoned but still functioning reactor, and currently live in a hovering ship away from population clusters, you ASSUME I'm a health risk."

"Well that…" Cyborg said as he entered the room. "And you blew up in space in a nuclear explosion, only to inexplicably return to help us in that final battle with the Brotherhood. Thanks for that, by the way."

"Don't thank me, thank lazy writers and animators who feel like using up their entire animation budget because they're being cancelled." Red Star said, as he politely pushed Argent aside. "You are at no risk. I give you my word."

"Well you know how it goes. In Soviet Russia…" Cyborg began.

A moment later Red Star had grabbed him and rammed him against the wall in a polite but no-nonsense fashion (and you knew you were a superhero when you could detect subtleties of being slammed into walls).

"In Republican Russia, we don't put up with that crap." Red Star said, and walked off.

"…in Soviet hands…" Argent began.

"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Red Star called back. Argent wisely went quiet.

* * *

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!" Raven yelled, as she also slammed Metatron against her room wall with a dark energy claw, having dragged the interloper out of her personal thoughts. "Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn't banish you back to your home dimension, RIGHT NOW."

"Bound…in pain…a man in a robe standing before you…screams all around…Noel looming over Nigel…with a gun…perhaps Nigel got better…?" Metatron murmured, more to himself, as red flashed in Raven's visage.

"How DARE you enter my private thoughts…"

"Well, for one, you don't know how to do it properly. You could kill me." Metatron said, looking at Raven as he belatedly answered her question, which had the side effect of cutting her angry words off.

"…I assure you…"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. But you won't." Metatron said.

Raven part glared part goggled at the other-dimensional Titan…before she tossed him aside.

"You will leave. And before you leave, you will promise not to say a word of this to anyone…"

"Nigel's stupid resilient…" Metatron said, having flipped over from his original position, his legs up against the wall as he stared at the ceiling, as he looked 'up' at Raven, even though it was clear he wasn't listening to a word she was saying. "But a bullet to the head? I don't see him surviving that. Yet he has, and looks at Noel with no more hostility than usual. As in, none. He's not that forgiving. Neither is Tim for that matter. He would have done something about this. 'Cept, there were more screams. Not all yours. Nigel wasn't the only one, was he?"

Raven was silent, as Metatron spun back up to his feet and walked over.

"Yet they are all down there, having fun laughing, no different then usual, happy and alive. Even Noel seems less keyed up than usual. And you…you're the only one bothered by it. The only one that…remembers? Yeah. Remembers. Which must mean…"

Metatron tilted his head.

"You did something, didn't you."

A moment later Metatron was sealed in dark energy again.

"I am sorry. You forced my hand." Raven said, as she began calling up the necessary magics to blank Metatron's memory…

"Huh. And I didn't even think a rape was involved." Metatron said quietly.

And Raven froze, as the terrible truth of the words hit her. If she went down this path, she wouldn't be able to stop. She'd find she had to justify another sacrifice, and another, until the whole thing was built on a teetering mess of them that would come crashing down if someone accidentally or deliberately applied pressure. All for a man she was no longer certain how she felt for.

And yet…she couldn't cast off the burden. She'd examined it so many times, and every time came to the same conclusion. It was just too devastating. It would destroy them, drown them beneath its wretchedness. The Spectre had warned her that her choice would bring consequences, but words and experience were two different worlds.

And there was still the X-Factor of Metatron. The literal devil and the deep blue sea…

"Why would I say anything? It doesn't really matter to me what happened exactly. You fixed it, all good." Metatron said, having stared at her the whole time. "After all, we can't have you dragging things down further by feeling like a monster for a little mind-twistery, right? 'Sides, if what Noel did was willing, you wouldn't have kept quiet. And there probably wouldn't have been a Christmas party, and no presents. No presents make Met sad."

Raven said nothing.

"Yet you are cold to him. You don't know what to think. And it's getting in the way of who you usually are." Metatron said. "I don't tell people to change. If you want to try and make me forget, go right ahead. Seeing as it's an unstable kind of magic and I'm, well, ME, it'll be fun to see what happens. Who knows, there's a chance it might even work."

Silence.

"…just leave." Raven said, as she released Met.

"Ugh. That really clears up the sinuses." Metatron said, as he stretched and shook himself. "You know you should look into making that stuff more touch-friendly."

Raven said nothing.

"You know why what happened happened. I'm assuming there was a reason. You should focus on that and analyze it. How much of a chance is there that it could happen again? For that very same reason anyway? And there's your answer. Now, mashed potatoes!…Why _am _I so puckish anyway?"

And Metatron was gone.

Raven sat down in her room, having forgotten why she wanted to leave again.

And wondering why it had gotten to the point where she needed advice from a stranger in a strange land to make sense of her life.

* * *

"So you didn't find anything 'exceptional'." Robin said.

"Hey man, I found it as weird as you do. They weren't dehydrated, they didn't show any trace of chemicals, no weird energy signatures…they were just dead, by unknown means, and however it was, it was clearly a very strange trip." Cyborg said. "I told them to send along the details of the autopsy as it became available. Maybe that will shed some light on it."

"Hmmmmmm." Robin said, musing.

"Anything else, Fearless Leader?"

"Well, I'm trying to work exactly how we're going to cook dinner this year, with so many people and the usual…issues…but I can do that myself."

"All right…" Cyborg said, as he turned around…and a sudden spark appeared in his eye. "Trouble cooking dinner huh…maybe I can help…"

And as Cyborg left the room, he passed by Blue Beetle, who was coming in with some paper files. The gleam in Cyborg's eye was intense enough that even he noticed.

"…uh…Robin, maybe it's not my business, but Cyborg just left the room looking like he was planning to audition for a role in the next Frankenstein film. Is that a reason to be alarmed?" Blue Beetle said.

"…maybe, Jamie. Maybe…"

"Jaime." The rookie superhero corrected.

"Oh right, sorry."

"No problem. I got that information you wanted." Blue Beetle said, holding up the papers.

"Just put them in that part of the computer: it'll scan them in. Then just select "Meeting Places" and put the scanned files in there."

"Okay…oh yeah. The scarab made me a copy of that alarm doodad you gave me. I gave it to my friend Paco. Don't worry, he's responsible. And it seemed like the smart thing to do."

"I bow to your greater experience there…your scarab can do that?"

Blue Beetle paused.

"It's insulted you think it can't."

"Ah, but of course." Robin said.

"So…uh…I kinda overheard what you and Cyborg were talking about…"

"Don't worry about it. We'll involve you if needed…otherwise, it would probably be best to keep it to yourself."

"What happened…sounds like magic."

"That was my thought as well. Going to send Raven to investigate further, if needed…" Robin said, as he turned and typed at his part of the Titans' main database. "So, having fun Jaime?"

"Well I haven't gotten to do much here…mostly the need to keep an eye on El Paso, you know?" Blue Beetle said. "Where's that file…oops, went into villains. How do I get back?"

"The green button is a general reverse on all programs." Robin said, focusing on his own task.

"Who's this guy?"

"What?"

"This guy. There's all these code names in here, like Mammoth and Match…then there's this normal name. Who's Mitch Mori?"

Angry disgust crossed Robin's face.

"A bastard of the highest caliber."

"What?"

"It's a very long, very UGLY story Jaime. You really don't want to know."

"…now I'm curious…" Blue Beetle said as he clicked the file.

"Really wouldn't recommend that."

"What he'd do, eat an orphanage?"

"No, he just drove his daughter to…ugh." Robin said. "And what's worse, when it came to trial lack of evidence and the rights of the accused caused it to be dropped. His accuser, you see, was in no condition to confront him. Because of what he did. And he had a right to a speedy trial. Urragghhh." Robin said, his last noise a guttural sound of pure anger. There were times when the system, imperfect as it was, really invoked great rage in him.

"…so he's back on the streets?"

"Yes and no." Robin said. "And I really suggest you stop reading that file."

"Nothing I haven't seen on prime-time TV-_MADRE DE DIOS! _JESUS CHRIST! ARRGGHHHHHH!" Blue Beetle yelped as he came across the bombshell (and its clinical pictures) at the end of the report, as he frantically hammered on the green button. "What the hell…!"

"We don't know."

"How did they fit the…"

"I don't know. Whoever killed him…made sure he died hurting. A lot." Robin said. "And that's why I didn't want you reading that file Jaime. That's what the life will bring, the longer you stay in it. It's one thing to fight sewer mutants and planet-conquering aliens…it's another to deal with the banal, petty evils that are just as bad as those over the top ones."

"No bleep." Blue Beetle said. "…but what did he do to deserve…"

"YOU. DON'T. WANT. TO KNOW." Robin said with grim finality. Considering what he'd seen the last time he'd kept going, Jaime wisely decided not to push his luck this time.

"Try to put it out of your head. We're here to relax and have fun. Not deal with this crap." Robin said.

"And what about those strange deaths?"

"My concern is not their atypical nature of these deaths…so much as the numerical one." Robin said. "If we see more of them…"

* * *

Devon Jennings hated his life.

More precisely, he hated the terrible, terrible stress the holiday season was putting on him. Things had gotten bad at his job, the threat of layoffs constantly hanging over his head, and his wife had recently had a breast cancer scare that had caused her to fall into a depression. And of course his daughter wanted some toy that would likely be as difficult to find as a good Uwe Boll film. The whole thing was a massive yoke around his neck, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep the frustration and seething, directionless hate at bay. It hadn't been this hard to keep a good face on for Mickie in previous years…

And then someone sat down in the passenger seat. Considering Devon had been waiting to pick his daughter up from school, this wasn't that surprising.

The problem was, it wasn't his daughter.

And the greater problem was that said someone had sat down in the chair without actually opening the car door.

"You really don't need this bleep." The dark stranger said, as Devon stared in horror.

And then a black hand clasped onto his chest.

* * *

Raven was trying to relax again when she felt it.

It was hard to describe: her best efforts would be that the sensation was "a sour tingle". Descriptions aside, it was enough to snap her out of her efforts.

"…that's never good." Raven said, as she stood up and tried to pinpoint it. But the twinge was gone, disappearing as suddenly as it had appeared. It could very well have just been a twinge in the mystic fields of the world.

Raven rarely had experiences where _that _was the case though, as she sighed and placed her fingers on her forehead. She'd best look into it.

It would let her forget her larger problem, if only for a time.

* * *

Devon Jennings was vaguely aware of a loud, constant sound at first: he realized it was a car horn moments before it cut off, as he felt himself being moved and people speaking around him. He thought he could hear repeated cries of 'DADDY!', but his sense of being was so jumbled that he was unable to confirm it.

Left with no other options, Devon slipped back into the void.

He would awaken several hours later, with a group of stymied doctors unable to find anything wrong with him. They eventually settled on it being a dizzy spell.

Normally Devon would have added it to his burden…

…yet he strangely no longer cared. What had seemed so terrible and crushing mere hours ago…now seemed like a simple series of tasks to accomplish.

It was like his poisonous stress had disappeared into thin air.

* * *

And somewhere else, the same black hand reached down, as it placed a crystal domino on a dark table.


	3. It Came Upon The Midnight Clear

Part 3: It Came Upon The Midnight Clear

_December 6__th__._

"So anything new on that pier incident?" Cyborg asked.

"Autopsy results aren't back yet. Or done at all. I'll let you know." Robin said.

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Actually no, not much…small fire in a bakery, the fire department took care of that…some vandalism…some petty theft…oh yeah, there was a bunch of graffiti left in front of a religious group's building, the Church of the True Sons I believe, and the detective said they thought it might be from this metahuman hate group who mistook it for a mosque. I've sent Stephanie there to take a looksee…besides that, nothing. It's pretty damn quiet."

"Word must have gotten out." Cyborg said, referring to all the Titans being there for Christmas.

"Maybe. I just hope it's not a vacuum. A vacuum is NEVER a good thing." Robin said.

"So what are you going to be doing Robin?"

"Oh, maybe figure out if I'm going to give that lesson or not…besides that keep an eye on things. Maybe do some shopping later. I know Starfire went to get some stuff…"

* * *

"I'm sorry Miss Starfire, but we don't have any withered dead trees." The Christmas tree worker said in the chilled inner room where the traditional conifer trees were being kept to keep the Florida weather from potentially screwing with them. "And once a tree is dead, you cannot nurse it back to health. Not on our world, anyway."

"…the animation spoke falsehoods?" Starfire said.

"I'm sorry. Would you like a healthier tree?"

"Well…I just so wished to resurrect one like the colorful nut children…"

"Hey Aqualad, you can control water, can't you?" Beast Boy said, having accompanied Starfire with a few other Titans. "Can't you, I dunno, suck a tree mostly dead or something?"

"I can't do trees. They're like my kryptonite." Aqualad replied.

"Say what?" Hotspot said.

"Wait…" Wildebeast said, looking thoughtful. "Water weak to plant…plant weak to fire…fire weak to water…POKEMON WAS RIGHT!"

"You play Pokemon?" Beast Boy said, as the other Titans save Starfire stared at the beast-man.

"Um…plenty of people do. The games have sold, like, ten million worldwide…at least."

"Well yeah…but I always saw you engaged in more…physical pursuits."

"I can multitask."

"Is that why you sucked you much at that game of Capture the Flag we played yesterday?" Herald asked.

"No, THAT was because I was drunk."

"Oh." Herald said. "That still doesn't explain why Phil is weak to trees."

"MY NAME IS ZEN!" Aqualad yelled.

"Oh look the author actually remembered their own fanon this time." Hotspot said.

* * *

"It's strange…" Batgirl said, though she couldn't really be called Batgirl at the moment, as she was out of costume, dressed in shorts and a tight T-shirt…as her arms blurred effortlessly blocking every single blow Savior threw at her before she grabbed his arm, spun around him, and rammed his face into the padded ground. "…are you all right?"

"Live." Savior muttered nasally, as he sat up holding his face. "Continue."

"I normally like hearing people talk. But she's…bad at it somehow."

"She's a…" Savior said, as he snapped a 'surprise' punch. Batgirl blocked it without even looking.

"A what?"

"A blabbermouth!" Savior said, as he threw off a kick Batgirl easily brushed aside. "She loves to hear HERSELF talk. A self absorbed conversation is never good. It'd be like…"

Savior launched into a furious assault of blows…that Batgirl blocked with one hand before she swept his ankles, kicked him over, grabbed his arms as he tried to get up, and yanked backwards, dislocating both shoulders.

"AUUGGGHHHHHH!"

"I thought a break would be good. I want to talk about this." Batgirl said, as she knelt on Savior's back, one knee lightly pressed into his spine.

"…you know, if I wasn't taken…" Savior said, and groaned. "I'd ask you to marry me."

"…you ENJOY this?"

"The pain, ow, and humiliation? No…but your destruction of me…can only make me better, in the end. And you're a work of art…in motion…oh…Cass, it wasn't a serious request, I just meant you're so impressive…"

"…is marriage not about something different than a good sparring partner?" Batgirl said with some confusion.

"Well…yes…but a lot of marriages in the old days were based on families trying to keep themselves in power, so we'd probably be better off than them…turned them all into mutated freaks by making the bloodline so inbred. Remind me to tell you about Charles II one day…"

And Savior surged up, the Shimmer having popped his arms back into place, as he lashed out with a crouching thrust kick.

Batgirl dodged aside, stomped on his kicking-leg's ankle, and then lashed out with her bare foot, slamming Savior across the face as his head pitched backwards into the ground.

"But what does that have to do with Chatterbox? Isn't it rude to tell someone to stop talking?" Batgirl said, as Savior lay on the ground stunned.

"Of course it is. Rude works." Metatron said as he was suddenly crouching by the pair.

A moment later Batgirl's foot also introduced itself to Metatron's face, sending him sprawling backwards.

"Unwise." Batgirl said, commenting on Metatron's abrupt appearance.

"Right, the kicks…" Metatron groaned, as he dizzily got back to his feet. "How could I forget about the kicks…"

"Oh geezus…Metatron, take off. You are NOT properly equipped here." Savior said, as he struggled to get to his feet.

"Actually, my Cass has some trouble reading my movements since they are so 'chaotic'." Metatron shrugged. "She said that's only happened once before."

"I meant giving her advice." Savior replied, as Batgirl walked to the side of the room for a water bottle and a towel.

"Eh, what's the harm. The worst that could happen is that she'd start swearing in front of Superman. Nothing new….Unless she started swearing around BATMAN…Oh, I'd pay to see his face the first time she did that."

"No no no NO." Savior said, choosing to ignore that comment. "She's a very linear thinker. She doesn't grasp inflection and subtlety as easily as you and I do. You'd likely just confuse her."

"Should I be insulted?" Batgirl said, having walked back to the pair.

"Oh Cass, believe me, I much prefer your golden fists to a silver tongue…that means…WILL YOU STOP THAT!" Savior yelled, as Metatron was again sniffing at him. Metatron ignored him with a soft 'hmm', and spun away to Batgirl.

"So, you want to learn to be rude, do you?"

"No. I simply wish to have my roommate understand her…enthusiasm can be less than…appealing in its ways."

"This is going to b-" Savior said.

"THIS AIN'T YOUR DADDY'S TRAINING CAMP, BOY!" Metatron declared, before frowning. "And thank god for that, I'd say."

Savior was too flabbergasted to formulate an answer in time.

"Now, let's begin!"

_Later…_

"If you don't wish to be bent in a full circle you will…" Cassandra growled before abruptly stopping. "Metatron I do not think that is anatomically possible."

"Listen to her. She knows these things." Savior said.

"I'LL DECIDE THAT!" Metatron declared.

_BAM! CRACK!_

A moment later Metatron was groaning on the ground, his back arched in a painful position after Cassandra had let him go, as the martial arts goddess looked thoughtful.

"You see? I attempted to come up with a proper way to do it. Had I not stopped, your back would have snapped instead of bent."

"…pain…why is that every time I try to help someone something it ends up painfully?" Metatron groaned as he rolled over and stood up. "You know what, forget the scare tactic. Let's just try the verbal medium."

"And maybe _he'll _be the one to learn when to shut up." Savior said hopefully.

_Even later…_

"You s-should be qu-no, SHUT up--" Batgirl said, her face a mass of slight, constantly shifting movements, as if she couldn't settle on a comfortable one. It was rather like watching someone trying to speak another language.

"Okay, no. Good try though, no shame in it. Let's try breathing exercises! Mmmmaahhhh! Mah! Mmmmmmah!" Metatron said, as he waved his hands near his face like he was fanning himself, as Batgirl tried to imitate him and keep up.

"She's learning a phrase, not having a baby." Savior said.

_Earlier! Just for a change!_

"A good way to get people quiet without having to tell them to is to just ramble away about the weirdest stuff you can think of and let them stare at you dumbfounded, since they are quiet when like that." Metatron said, as Savior, his eyes having acquired a faraway glazed look, finally snapped back to sense upon hearing that sentence.

"Wait a min-!"

"Actually that probably won't work for you, since you are quiet. But scare tactics are good for that."

Kole entered the gym, wanting to use the exercise bikes.

"Like so."

And Metatron jumped in front of Kole.

"OOGAH BOOGAH! I'MMA STEAL YOU TO THE TELEPORTERS! HA HA!"

Kole stopped dead, falling on her rear end before screaming, crawling back to her feet, and bolting.

"…Wow, Jinx was right. Hey Frank! Good news! I got a new target!"

A moment later Savior slammed Metatron against the nearest wall with The Shimmer a few times.

"Pick again." Savior said.

"Didn't know I was so special to you…" Metatron said groggily, as he squinted. "…Why has the sky turned red-Ah. Blood. Yeah, that'd do it."

_Back to dull later…_

"But what if I want to keep this can of 'whoopass'?"

Metatron banged his head on a nearby table. Where he found a table in a gym is a question for the ages.

"I really shouldn't be amused by this." Savior said.

_Slater was a character on Saved By The Bell…_

"Your silence…it is politely requested." Batgirl said.

"You SUCK." Metatron said. Savior, sitting impatiently nearby, raised a brow. "What? They can't ALL be funny and/or clever."

"Is this what 'low self-esteem' feels like?" Batgirl wondered.

_Like you don't know by now…_

"Here's my wife, it would be good if you take her."

"…You've been talking to Nigel, haven't you Cass?"

"What?"

"Could you please stop wasting so much time, Metatron? This isn't going to work. She barely understands the words coming out of your mouth." Savior said.

_And yet later still…_

"One day, _I _will learn which words to prevent coming out of my mouth." Savior muttered.

"It's just the universe's way of telling you it hates you during this holiday. Or it likes its karma, either works." Metatron grinned, before turning to Batgirl. "Right, now, with the correct tone and modulation."

"Please. For the love of God. SHUT. UP." Batgirl said.

"Good girl. Next, the art of quoting!" Metatron said.

"OH GET LOST!" Savior retorted.

* * *

"Robin, we have to do something about the talking cat." Scalpel said.

"Well I still…wait what?" Robin said.

"There's a cat. Walking around. It talks. Strangely." Scalpel said. "It's not HURTING anyone, but…you can see why I'd take notice."

"…a talking cat." Robin said.

* * *

"You know, I should do one of…" Argent said quietly to herself, as she looked at the photoshop comic she was reading…moments before her computer abruptly turned off. "WHAT THE BLEEP!"

A shuffling noise came from the CPU, and Argent peered down to take a look…to see various scattered wires, and an orange tabby tangled in more of them.

"…shh! im Internet h4ck1n6" The cat said.

"…HUH?" Argent said, terribly confused.

"There has been a failure on the INTERNETS." The cat said, as Argent recoiled, silver power flashing on her fingers.

"…what are you!?"

"IM FROM TECH SUPPORT." The cat said, as it got free of the wires, sat up, and pawed at her. "DISAPPROVES UR SUBMISHINZ."

"…holy bleep, Cassie wasn't bull bleeping." Argent said.

"I CAN HAS EMIL ADRS?" The cat asked.

"You better come with me." Argent said, as she shot out some of her silver-crimson energy to grab the strange creature.

"TECH SUPPORT CAT DISAPPROVES." The cat said, as it pawed at the energy and then ran off before Argent could get a grip.

"Hey! Come back here!" Argent said, giving chase…only to find the cat had disappeared.

You probably can't blame her for then going to see Scalpel to get her head examined.

* * *

"…Larry! You can come out now! Larry?" Robin said, looking around.

"Are you certain it is that imp?" Scalpel said.

"What ELSE could he be doing?"

* * *

"Oh come on! My Paladin's setup should be immune to crushing blows!" Larry said, as he ate Cheetos with one hand and frantically played World of Warcraft with the other.

**DICKGRAYSONROCKS IS DEAD.**

"SNIKERDUMS! I hate this fracking game! Hate it! No more! Well…no more after I finish this one raid."

* * *

"I shudder to think." Scalpel said. Robin was about to say something else when Spoiler entered the room.

"Anything else?" Robin said.

"No, not today. I guess I'll get back to work at the…" Scalpel said as he turned around…and bumped into Spoiler before jerking back. "Owtch!"

"Ow! What was that?" Spoiler said, having felt a jolt herself.

"Felt like a static discharge…on steroids. How much do you drag your feet, Miss Brown?"

"Oh what, some sort of crack? You don't think I'm dedicated? Typical! First Batman and now you!"

"…what?" Scalpel said, confused.

"None of you respect me! I'm just the chick with the dumb name! Well screw you!" Spoiler said, as she stomped off.

"Stephanie! Your report please!" Robin called. The female vigilante did not return.

"…did I insult her? I apologize I…I'm not sure what I did wrong…" Scalpel said, scratching his head.

"She has some issues, especially lately." Robin said. "She sort of resents that Batman hasn't quite let her into the fold yet."

"Well of course! He has incredibly high standards! Almost ridiculously so, really."

"You know that, I know that, _she _knows that, but that doesn't change the resentment." Robin said. "I guess I'll have to get her information later."

* * *

And somewhere…the hand laid down another domino.

* * *

_December 7__th__._

"It's really not fair, you know. It's not like I started doing this last week." Spoiler said groused, her body and hair wrapped in a towel as she sat in the T-Tower's sauna with several of the other Titan females. "You'd think that bleeping Black Mask would have been enough."

"Oh friend Brown, do not take it personally. It sounds more like Friend Nigel was confusing his words. It happens. English is very troublesome. Even when you have such gifts as myself." Starfire said.

"…we're talking about your language ability, right?" Jinx said. A moment later a towel whip snapped on her arm. "OW!"

"Behave, pinky. It wasn't long ago we'd be sticking you in the cooler instead of in the heat with us." Bumblebee said.

"Is everyone going to keep bringing that up?"

"That is how it goes, Llarenes." Starfire said. Jinx took notice she didn't put "friend" in front of it, and was unsure what to think of that. "Trust is precious. Hard to earn, and easy to waste. But in it is a greater strength then any villain can muster, which is why one should do everything one can to earn it. It is worth it. My life…could have been much harder if I hadn't learned to trust."

"So Robin will eventually trust me?" Flamebird said.

"If he can ever get a word in edgewise." Terra said.

"Hey! What's THAT supposed to me!"

"You guys won't believe what happened to me." Bumblebee said, cutting off the argument. "You know the alert my team got?"

"Oh yes, you returned rather quickly." Starfire said.

"Yeah…wanna know why?"

* * *

When the alarm went off in Steel City, Titans East hadn't been sure what to think. Generally, December in their town was too cold to commit crimes in, and hence they'd felt a bit more comfortable hanging around Titans Tower then most of the other guests, some of whom HAD had to leave to go back to their home territories and deal with trouble. But no one had come back yet save with some scuffs and bruises, and hence when Robin had asked if they'd wanted backup, the Titans East had turned him down, saying they could handle themselves to begin with.

Who would they encounter? Steamroller? Crazy-Eight? They'd run into some nut about a month ago called Hemo-Goblin, maybe he was back…

And the odds were, if someone had actually told Titans East who they were due to meet, they would have laughed the person out of the room.

"BEWARE, TITANS!" The red-clothed man bellowed, as he wildly waved his bare arms (his suit lacked them) around his white and black (albeit only around the eyes) painted face. "YOU FACE SO MUCH MORE THAN A MAN! YOU WILL FEEL A FIRE UNLIKE ANYTHING BEYOND YOUR FEEBLE EXISTENCE CAN COMPREHEND!"

"…so you're what, the Human Loudspeaker?" Bumblebee asked.

"I AM SNOWFLAME! THE MIGHTY AVATAR OF THE SEARING HEAT OF COCAINE! IT ASCENDS ME BEYOND ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN! IT WILL TURN YOU TO WHITE ASH, AND BEYOND!"

"…okkkkkkkkkkkkaaaay. Someone's definitely high here somewhere." Bumblebee said.

"SEE FIRSTHAND, THE TERRIBLE FIRE!" Snowflame roared, as he reached into a pouch on his waist, pulling out a fistful of white powder and cramming it against his face. Titans East gaped at this blatant drug-use in front of them, even as Snowflame tried to snort all the (assuming) cocaine from his hand, a task said appendage wasn't actually well suited for, as a fair bit of the white powder blew away in the wind.

"Damn, there goes a few thousand bucks." Speedy said. Titans East goggled at him in turn. "What? Just saying."

"_Juramos que nos estan jalando la pata." _Mas Y Menos said.

And then Snowflame bellowed again, and white fire burst into existence on the skin of his arms, chest, and head.

"Hold that thought." Aqualad said.

"I CANNOT BE BEATEN! I CANNOT BE STOPPED! NO BLOW WILL HARM ME! I AM IN THE GRIP OF THE FIRE! IT BURNS ALL! IT CONTROLS ALL! NOTHING CAN STAND BEFORE IT! NOTHING! _**NOTHING!"**_ Snowflame shrieked, and charged at Titans East.

"Anyone feel like wasting time?" Bumblebee asked. Her teammates shook their heads. "Right then. Let's Roshambo."

"DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!" Snowflame screamed.

"Ready…" Bumblebee said, as Speedy cocked an arrow and Aqualad reached out towards a fire hydrant, even as her stinger-weapons crackled. "Roe…sham…"

"THE FIRE!"

"Bo."

And Snowflame went flying back the other way as Bumblebee fired her weapons, Speedy fired an arrow, Aqualad fired a concentrated jet of water, and Mas Y Menos zoomed on either side of the three projectiles as they reached out with the Speed Force and altered the attacks to travel all at the same velocity, even as they added their own efforts with a twin punch. The united attack floored the insane 'avatar of cocaine', as he flew backwards and crashed into a telephone pole, breaking it in half as he collapsed to the ground, knocked senseless.

"Winners don't use drugs." Bumblebee and Speedy said at the exact same time, and then looked mildly cross at each other for 'stealing' the other's line.

"I guess we are officially Titans, if we're getting these kind of weirdos." Aqualad said, as he jogged in place to will away the cold, as police sirens approached.

"What's really weird is this guy's way out of date. Cocaine was the 80's. If he wanted a chance he should have been the avatar of meth or something." Speedy said. More stares. _"WHAT?"_

Bumblebee rolled her eyes and moved on. "Somehow 'Rottooth' or 'Smalltowndeath' just doesn't have the same ring."

"And 'Snowflame' is a good name?"

"I didn't say that."

"_Seguímos creyendo que esto es parte de una broma." _Mas Y Menos said.

* * *

"A divine comedy." The Lord said, as he watched the rout. Normally he'd have dismissed it immediately…except…

"…henh. Emphasis on comedy." The Lord said, as he reached over and rearranged his dominoes, before placing another down. He'd have to contact Miss Mori: she had more work to do.

* * *

"…you know, I don't know what's worse. Psychotic nutcase villains who want to eat your brains, or psychotic nutcase villains who seem to possess NO brains." Spoiler said.

"Speaking of brains, have you heard Savior cheated on Raven?" Flamebird said.

"WHAT!?!" Starfire and Terra both yelled, Starfire sitting up from where she was lying down.

"Yeah, I heard from Argent, who heard from Killowatt, who learned it from that Metatron…supposedly he decided to screw around on her with Batgirl."

"…that is a lie, slander, and you should not spread such vicious gossip!" Starfire said, looking surprisingly upset.

"Hey, I'm just saying…he's out here with the rest of us actually acting HUMAN, and don't forget I was around during the Brotherhood thing too, while Raven's hiding away all the time."

"That doesn't mean he cheated on her!" Terra said.

"Take it from someone who both fought him, came on to him…" Jinx said.

"WHAT?" Starfire and Terra said again.

"I was drunk."

"Oh."

"Anyway, like I was saying, if he screwed around on her, he'd be in the hospital in a body cast, not hanging around with us playing Rock Band."

* * *

"Are you SURE about this…" Savior said.

"Too late to change the options! Just sing the words!" Beast Boy said as he stuck a mike in Savior's hands and sat down on the drums.

"Fine fine…get ready for an F grade…" Savior said. "Uh, _I hear voices in my head, they counsel me, they understand, they talk to me…_"

Raven entered the room, hoping to get some tea. Savior didn't notice: he was too busy trying to not make a fool of himself.

"_I hear voices crying…I see heroes dying…I taste blood that's drying…I feel tension rising…"_

Savior had no idea how accurate he was, as Raven turned and left the room, no longer wanting tea.

"_They tell me things that I will do, they show me things to do to you…"_

"Wretched. Awful. Absolutely terrible." Metatron said, suddenly standing next to Savior, and Savior broke the song to play a new tune with the mike on Metatron's head.

"ACK! THIS NEVER HAPPENED TO SIMOOOON…!"

And then Metatron trailed off suddenly, even as he twirled to the side and stuck out his foot, as Savior tripped and went sprawling on the ground. He blinked in momentary confusion, as Metatron grinned down at him.

"You already used up your free shot with Cass, you know. You earn your next one! It'll teach you the importance of hard work. And cheating."

Savior was about to retort, but Metatron was gone before he could say a word.

"…does that thing play the blues?" Savior muttered.

* * *

"And whatever bones she didn't break, Friend Cass would. She is unique in her ways, but she would not tolerate such a moral betrayal." Starfire said. "This story lacks any truth to it, stop telling it."

"So you'd rather talk about Tim?" Flamebird said.

A few minutes later the Titan females left the room, some tittering despite themselves and some with burning cheeks. For all she'd learned, Starfire still made some errors in answering questions. And she'd never quite learned the fine art of TMI.

Spoiler felt a bit better overall. And she'd certainly never look at Tim the same way again.

* * *

Sandy Mitchell was having the worst Christmas in her entire life.

Unlike Devon Jennings, her stress had little to do with the holiday. Her kids might be disappointed to find little in the way of presents under the tree on Christmas morning, but Sandy's concerns were elsewhere.

Her mother was dying. That was bad enough. But when she'd been diagnosed with Alzheimer's seven months ago, Sandy hadn't had a clue how bad it would get. She'd tried to rationalize herself with the cold facts. There was no cure. Her mother's brain would slowly break down until she died. In the process, her mother would lose everything, even herself, as the progress of the disease slowly stripped away her mind's capacity to function. She'd tried logic and reasoning on the process as her mother forgot her husband had died six years ago, forgot her grandchildren's names, and forgot her, thinking she was still preparing protest rallies against 'The Man' in the 60's. There was no malice here, no ill will. It was simple entropy. Things wore down and stopped working. It was the nature of the universe.

It hadn't helped, as Sandy had watched helplessly as her mother died while still living, her calm demeanor that had seen Sandy through the rocky divorce from her first husband replaced with eternal confusion, fear, and anger. Sandy had thought the worst part would be when she was forced to put her mother in a home, her mother crying as she left the apartment complex she'd lived in for so long. But it seemed like that deed had just accelerated the process, and now her mother was in the hospital, waiting for death to release her from the eternal muddle her life had become.

And Sandy was at the end of her rope. She'd had to leave the room because her mother had thought she was some old sexual rival, from decades gone past, and screamed at Sandy with a terrible vehemence before Sandy could take no more. She'd tried to rationalize it wasn't her mother's fault. It was the disease. The terrible disease, the cruel darkness, eating her mother alive.

She spent some time gathering herself before she tried to return, not knowing what she'd do if it started all over again…

At first she didn't even notice the strange man leaving her mother's room. It was a hospital: people came and went all the time.

It was the fact he then sank through the floor that provided the alarm, as the dread within Sandy was replaced by sudden panic, as she ran towards the room.

"Mother? MOTHER! ARE YOU…!?"

And even as nurses came to investigate the noise, Sandy Mitchell found her mother, sleeping, and looking more peaceful then she'd looked for a long time. A security investigation turned up no apparent foul play.

And then her mother woke up, and asked why she was in the hospital. And over the next days, several very confused doctors joined Sandy in wondering what had happened. Alzheimer's was not cancer. It did not go into remission.

Sandy's mother did die, eventually. But for the rest of her life, Sandy wondered if she'd witnessed a true Christmas miracle.

* * *

Sandy's gift was sadly nothing of the sort.

"Why did you go to the trouble of replacing the destroyed cerebral matter?"

"Because if I just pulled what I needed out, it'd be tangled with other aspects. Shot through with impurities, if you will. Better to remove it with a fine touch. Much better. Besides, that corpse in the morgue didn't need it any more."

A black hand laid down another domino.

"I wonder how much company that corpse will have, in the end."

* * *

_December 8__th__._

"You know, for a holiday season, you sure are spending a lot of time doing work." Spoiler said as she entered the room.

"Someone has to do the organizing, Steph." Robin said from where he was sitting. "I'm doing some things with my friends, every now and then. We just haven't had a chance to do anything together. Besides, for me, Jump being this quiet is in itself a vacation."

"It HAS been quiet. Almost…"

"Yes, I know." Robin said. "I'm hoping it's common sense. There's been some minor crimes, yes…but nothing the police can't handle. No superhuman crimes, no murders, no rapes…maybe my city is just in the spirit of the holidays."

"Spirit I myself didn't show. I'm sorry Tim. I was irrational earlier." Spoiler said. "I know that Br…Batman…well, he could treat me worse. And I know why that mess in Gotham I caused…went so wrong."

"I'm just glad you're alive."

"I know. But at the same time…I feel like there's a glass ceiling, of sorts. I'm on the outside looking in. And well…"

"Don't let him get you down. He's…who he is. As far as I'm concerned, you earned your stripes. You're one of us. The rest is details."

"…thanks." Spoiler said. "Now, my report is…well it's funny. I didn't really notice the vandalism so much as the Church itself. They were just WEIRD."

"Howso?"

"Well, I was accompanied by a few of the members of the place, they actually live there…they acted like they couldn't decide if they wanted to stay away from me or violate my personal space. And the guy who I spoke to was robotic, almost. He just kept saying 'Someone vandalized our home, we don't know who' over and over. Not the same sentence, but the same gist, y'know?"

"Strange, but then again, that's how those religious offshoots act. They have a certain way of looking at the world…"

"Then why not go live in the boondocks like the Amish?"

"You'd have to ask them. I saw you entered photos and whatnot into evidence. I took a look…I guess we'll just keep an ear open, see if there's any more trouble. Might just be the proverbial punk kids. Would be nice if graffiti is all we have to deal with." Robin said. "I'd rather spend Christmas playing games then…well, playing games."

* * *

"How perceptive…boy wonder."

And another domino was laid on the table.

* * *

"Sophie, I really think you should take some medicine for that." Scalpel said, having noticed his girlfriend flushing and look ill for a few seconds, again."

"I don't see why, Scalpel. It comes and goes, and I feel a little off for a few seconds. What's the harm?" Sophie replied.

* * *

Based on Spoiler's comment, Robin had decided that maybe he could do to come out and interact more with his fellows.

Maybe that had been a mistake.

"Your words inspired me Tim! I figured out a way to help with dinner this year! Behold! The latest and greatest invention to ever come out of my head! The TURKEYZOOKA!" Cyborg declared, hoisting up the bizarre projectile launcher, as Robin gaped.

"Oh bloody hell. One, Vic, I thought you'd learned your lesson after the last time, the last _several _times at that, and two, how is a gun that projectile launches turkeys going to help us?"

"That's quite simple! You see…" Cyborg said, as he put the Turkeyzooka down.

As the weapon buzzed and then fired out its frozen ammo, hitting the fridge so hard the bird virtually vaporized itself, even as the fridge was ripped from its moorings and sent smashing through the wall beyond, as Robin and Cyborg gaped in astonishment.

"…Cyborg how much kick did you PUT in that thing?"

"I think I forgot to carry the one somewhere…"

* * *

The fridge smashed through the walls, the barriers seemingly providing no interruption to its journey, the appliance barely missing several startled/shocked Titans.

"I didn't want a soda that badly!" Bumblebee said as it flew by.

"Sweet merciful Hera, is that thing possessed?!" Wonder Girl said.

"If it's possessed by anything, it's probably momentum." Aqualad said.

"…" Batgirl 'said'.

"…you know, if I lived anywhere else, this might seem strange." Savior said.

And the fridge smashed through another wall, as it bore down on Bushido.

Who whirled, and with one mighty slash, cut the out of control appliance in half, as the pieces flew away from the blow, the bottom embedding itself into the wall nearby and the top part flying through an open doorway.

"…that was AWESOME!" Flamebird declared…as Bushido stood up, lifted his sword…

And muttered a low Japanese curse, switching the blade to his other hand as he rapidly shook his arm, before he wandered off to find Raven, concerned how many muscles he'd torn doing that. He really should have just ducked.

"…wow, that was pretty dramatic. Shame I…" Metatron said as he entered the room with several other Titans…as a strange buzzing noise began coming from the open doorway the top part of the fridge had flown through. "Ohhh, more drama!"

Metatron entered the room so quickly, he didn't even note the sign on the door: EVIDENCE ROOM.

Hence he didn't know what had happened at first when he entered the room…as the sliced top of the fridge continued to react with what it had impacted: the Weather Wizard's wand.

"…you know, not even I think this is within the realm of possibili-" Metatron commented.

The room's temperature began to plummet, as giant chunks of ice began to materialize around the fallen piece of fridge. The sudden shift hit Metatron like a blow from an angry enemy, as he staggered back with a gasp, the sleepy good humor actually fading from his eyes.

"Oh WHAT ARE THE ODDS." He protested, glaring intently at the ice before he looked at Wildebeast, Herald, and Mas Y Menos behind him. "Might want to back up!"

"_¡¿Desde cuándo tiene el derecho a dar órdenes?!" _Mas Y Menos said.

"_¡LOS PERROS TIENEN CINCUENTA COLAS CALIENTES!" _Metatron yelled back, and Mas Y Menos ran off, as the other-dimensional Titan raised his hands as they glowed gold.

He only had to clap once: a golden misty blast of intense heat surged out, instantly melting the ice to steam…and blowing up and/or melting half the evidence room.

Metatron stared for a moment at the destruction, even as he wobbled a bit, seemingly a touch unsteady on his feet.

"…well, nobody's perfect." Metatron said, and ran off.

* * *

_December 10__th__._

One of the troubles of so many Titans was so many different types of personality. One chief example was the caveman Gnarrk, who hated technology in all its forms and had in fact nearly had a panic attack when he'd been teleported to Titans Tower to help out with the Hive attack. Fortunately, the Titans had prepared, somewhat, for Gnarrk's proclivities, and hence instead of staying in the Tower, Terra had made him a nice cave at one corner of the island. He seemed content to stay out there and sometimes join the other Titans for group activities on the island (and sometimes the Tower itself, even), with visits from Kole and some other Titans to make sure he wasn't lonely.

A downside to that was that Titans had to keep delivering him food.

"Here you go big guy. Your latest order." Speedy said as he placed a box on Gnarrk's stone-carved table. "Though considering how you run away from the microwave, I wonder how you're gonna cook half of these."

"Gnarrk hate technology. Except for pizza rolls. That can stay." Gnarrk said.

"Well I guess-WUHHHHHHHHHHHH?" Speedy said, surprised. "Huh. I see your vocabulary has improved beyond Pokemon-like repetitions of your name."

"Gnarrk?" Gnarrk said. "Gnarrk."

"…Oh COME ON, buddy. Maybe I'm not as sharp as Robin, but I KNOW I just heard you talk."

"…Look, okay. It's a show I do for the girl." Gnarrk said, as Speedy's eyes widened despite themselves as Gnarrk's grunting abruptly became calm, smooth speech.

"…you don't talk…for Kole?"

"I like to let her think she's the brains of the operation. Wanna know what her IQ is? 80."

"…funny, I don't remember that on the medical files I perused…"

"Trust me, you misread. It's 80. She is very, very stupid."

"…Are you basing this on the fact the Titans found her living with you in a hidden rainforest under the Arctic for no apparent reason?"

"No, just everyday life." Gnarrk said, before trailing off. A few moments later, Kole appeared from the shadows of another part of the cave.

"Hey Nathan, Gnarrk. I can't figure out how to open this jar." Kole said, as she worked at a cylinder in her hands. Speedy was about to show off his strength…and then he saw what she was holding.

"…that's a pop can Kole." Speedy said.

"Oooooooooh." Kole said…and promptly walked off, as she continued to try to twist the top off.

"…so, what ELSE aren't you telling us?" Speedy asked once she was out of sight.

"I'm not a caveman. I'm a former construction worker from Philly. I just don't like wearing shirts and underpants."

"Ahhh…and the whole living in a hidden jungle under the Arctic with a teenage girl in a thankfully clear non-sexual relationship, and please say that's what it is?"

"That's exactly what it is. I just worry about going crazy sometimes, so I keep her around for company."

"Where did she come from?"

"Hell if I know. Just showed up one day. Said she was lost, and she was digging for food. In a swamp."

_DING!_

"And enough with the questions. Pizza rolls are done!" Gnarrk said as he wandered off.

"…strange world." Speedy said, as he left the cave. Gnarrk wandered back in, eating his favored food…as his eyes dulled a bit.

"Gnarrk?"

"Yes, here's your payment." Gauntlet said as he came out of the shadows, putting down a giant box of pizza rolls even as he removed a small device from Gnarrk's neck. "Worth every penny."

"Gnarrrrrk." The caveman said, rubbing his neck.

"Yes, I know it hurt. But it was needed."

"Gnarrk?"

"Yes precisely! I am the comedian here! I do the random! If some guy from another dimension thinks he can just waltz in and take over the story, then he

* * *

Jeremiah Masterson was having a very good Christmas.

("GOD DAMMIT!")

Well, he had a good time all year around, and normally Christmas was slow for him. In that Jeremiah was a lawyer, and could be held up as an example for why most people hated them. He made a living filing lawsuits, usually based on racism angles, and during the holiday season, people actually tried to hide their true selves and be nice to each other. But not this year: Jeremiah had seven cases going, and they were all going great.

Oh, they mostly had little to no basis, but that wasn't how the world worked any more. In today's world, image was everything. And all it took was one person screaming racism and every single idiot strangled by the divine gift of political correctness fell over themselves to correct it. Never mind if the case wouldn't hold up to any sort of scrutiny: the people in charge would rush to settle and sweep the accusations under the rug lest more idiots hop on the bandwagon and also begin screaming how the Man was keeping them down, and they needed a hero to give them a big fat settlement to make up for it. And Jeremiah did that, after taking his cut: ultimately, he held both his clients and the people he was targeting with equal smug contempt: he was smarter than all of them, and had made millions off of it. And more was coming. A life well lived, on the fat of the land…

Jeremiah's good mood faded when he entered his office and found his chair facing away from him. He was a stickler for the way he liked things, and his chair was supposed to face towards the door. Someone was getting fired…

And then he realized that not only was the chair facing away from him, someone was sitting in it…a moment before said sitter spun around.

"Who the…who the bleep are you?" Jeremiah asked the dark man.

"I heard something interesting, lately." The dark man replied. "Mankind's technical name, once you get past the Animalia Chordata etc etc stuff, is 'Homo sapiens sapiens'. 'Man, wise, wise'. As if you so need to get across how different you are from the rest of the creatures on this planet that you have to repeat ourselves."

"What…"

"Oh yes, you are wise. You think, you build, you create. But you're still animals. And so many of you just use your wisdom to act like them. Oh, you can cloak it so many ways…but when it comes right down to it you'll little better then a pig gorging itself at a trough. The fact you can get so fat merely speaks of a deeper problem."

"SECURITY…!"

"Is unavailable. Now, I'll get to that deeper problem in time. I have a more pressing task." The Lord said. "You sit here, like on a throne, and look down on the peons you consider your peers. There's a problem with chairs like this though."

The Lord stood then, as black fire danced in his gaze.

"Keeps you from seeing the darkness creeping up behind you. There're higher thrones than yours."

In the end, Jeremiah Masterson didn't have a very good Christmas. Mainly because he never got near it. Neither did the many clients the Lord summoned from his records and sucked dry. The giant mess he left would be a top story on the news.

In Jacksonville, Florida. Robin would notice it in his crime reports, but looked upon the banal nature of the crime and assume it was human failing that the police could handle.

The Lord had had to free-range a great distance. He'd already drained Jump City dry.

* * *

_December 13__th__._

"Most of the time, this is where our job ends." Robin said, as he showed various pictures of criminals, meta and otherwise, being lead away by the police. "However, there's a reason that a lot of our enemies don't spend a lot of time in jail. If they don't break out, the justice system can sometimes hit…snags in trying to convict them. A good lawyer can find many holes in our methods, and use them to induce two words that you may learn to dread: reasonable doubt. Now, there are things you can only learn through experience…but I thought that maybe I could help smooth that experience. If just a bit."

Robin turned off the slide protector and looked at his "class": Flamebird, Spoiler, Argent, Mas Y Menos, Pantha, Wonder Girl, Jinx, and Morgue. Jump City had ended up being so quiet, that not only could the Titans engage in various relaxations, Robin had even managed to schedule some 'learn some extra stuff' courses.

"Now…interrogation is a tricky business. Do it the wrong way, and you won't get anything, or worse, whatever you get will be thrown out of court. In other words, DON'T do this."

And Robin activated a video…as Savior banged a suspect against a wall, and then dragged him out of the interrogation room (apparently the video recorder was Cyborg with his mechanical eye) and dangled him out of the nearest window.

"Why are the cop's faces blurred?" Wonder Girl asked.

"Oh, no need to do harm to some officer's careers if they're…less then willing to help out a suspected child molester in the grip of an angry meta." Robin said. "But due to this, we nearly ended up on the receiving end of a lawsuit, not to mention this…_suspect_ stood a strong risk of having their case thrown out because of Savior's actions."

"_¡Incluso los pederastas tienen derechos!"_

"True…though an aside. A paedophile legitimately loves a child…a child molester is a particularly vile kind of sadist who gets pleasure from harming a child. Prisons don't care for the difference, and maybe they've already changed the psychology…but it's good to know these things."

"So what DO you do?" Flamebird asked.

"Well, that can only be learned through experience. But in _my _experience, psychological work is often far more effective then physical. Take this one time with this drug pusher…we wanted him to turn on his bosses, but he was too scared. So we probed his mind to get some idea of who he was…and then sent Nigel in. Observe."

Another video played, as Scalpel entered the room, sat down, crossed his claws, and looked intently at the man across the table from him, who promptly freaked out and began climbing the walls, screaming that a demon was going to eat him. Scalpel neither lifted a finger nor wore any expression except a calm observation, and within a minute the terrified criminal was spilling his guts.

"True, that's an exceptional case. And you won't always have a mind reader on hand to know these things in advance. But it demonstrates the art of a subtle touch, and how physical force can do more harm than good."

"_Que ignorante. Nigel es asustadizo, pero cualquiera con medio cerebro podría ver que el no es un demonio."_

"True, true." Robin said. "But a lesson to all criminals: sense is optional."

* * *

"Oh…how apt." The Lord said, as Robin spoke on the crystal. "Progress on the packages, Miss Mori."

"Initial orders are complete and ready to be placed. Your renewed orders are approximately 90 percent complete and 40 percent complete. Everything should be ready by the 19th at the latest."

"Excellent. Plenty of time." The Lord said, as he placed another domino. "I wonder…in retrospect, will they have seen the clock?"

* * *

And over the day, other Titans taught classes as well.

"Now, something you have to understand is, NOTHING is uncrackable." Cyborg said. "What computer experts can't do, certain metahuman powers can. That's one of the advantages of paper: as bulky and inconvenient as it is, it can be a lot harder to steal. In theory. The best advice is to double-protect yourself: store information on a backup that is cut off from any forms of access, and rig your systems to fry the data if an invader gets too close. And redundant programs are a godsend too: you'd be amazed at some of these wizards…"

"Many males assume if a female is grabbed by this area, she is helpless." Starfire said, as she indicated the upper arm. "I am not sure where this concept came from. However, it is an error you can easily turn to your advantage, as there are numerous tactics you can utilize…"

"Do not utilize chemical aids as a constant." Scalpel said, as he stood in front of various medical charts. "There has been a recent surge in drug use where the narcotics can grant temporary enhancements or mutations…these always end in tragedy. Likewise, the concept of combat drugs is still years away from anything resembling safe. Even the great success stories, like Miraclo here…and by the by, it took me a devil of a time to convince Hourman to part with a sample, so if I find it missing…"

"Awwwwwwwwwwwww. I wanted to learn to pull a rabbit out of my hat." Argent said, as she looked at the notice that said Raven had cancelled her basic magic classes. "What's with Raven? She's been all isolated and moody."

"I heard her boyfriend was cheating on her." Hotspot said.

"That's been debunked." Argent said.

"So what's the new rumor?"

"Let's go ask Bette!"

* * *

"…why did I suddenly have a feeling of deep…dread…" Savior said, as he peered over his book and saw Thunder and Lightning standing in front of him. "…can I help you?"

"We have heard some very unpleasant rumors regarding you, gaijin!" Lightning said. "Did you actually have the dishonourable gall to engage in relations with another woman!"

"…you think my relationship with Raven is…bad?"

"It, no. But if you wish to engage in relations with another woman at the same time, it is deeply lacking in taste." Thunder said.

"…you think I'm CHEATING on Raven?"

"We have heard some words!"

"…words, guys. You have any proof?"

"…well, no…" Thunder said.

"But we greatly respect the woman! Therefore, this is your warning! Should these rumors prove true, there will be deep consequences!" Lightning said. "Now come brother, the television is available for the latest incarnation of the ultimate fighters!"  
Savior stared after the two at they left. Someone thought he was cheating on Raven? What the hell? Had Jinx misspoke? Had one of the newer Titans drawn the wrong conclusion with Batgirl? True, he hadn't spent a lot of time with Raven lately…but considering some things, how did you get cheating?

He'd been spending too much time, come to think of it, putting on a happy face (which was genuine, for the most part, but there were still the stresses and strains of the season, not to mention so many Titans: where Savior would normally release them immediately, he'd been burying them, for the Titans' sake. It was also one of the reasons he'd been avoiding Raven: he didn't want to ruin her good vibes with his concealed darkness. He'd been hoping to take it out on some criminals, but there literally wasn't a creature stirring in Jump. It was damn strange…)

More company. Savior lowered the book again…and then again, as he stared at Melvin, Timmy, and Teether.

"Yes kids?

"You've been hurting Raven!" Melvin said, pointing at Savior, whose eyes widened.

"No I haven't!"

"She's always sad! She tries to play and have fun, but she's still sad inside! You hurt her, and you won't be doing it any more!"

"…no wait kids, there's a…"

_KER-WHAMMO!_

The seemingly invisible force smashed Savior out of his seat and into the wall, pancaking him between the blow and the point of impact.

"Oh…crud…the imaginary…friend…!"

"That's right! You meany head!"

"Kids wait-AUGH!" Savior screamed as he was smashed into the ground. And then into the ceiling. And then back into the ground.

"Hey kids." Metatron said, abruptly crouching on the couch. "Are you hitting Noel?"

"Nuh uh. Bobby is." Melvin replied. "He hurt Raven! He has to pay!"

"Hurt Raven? No no. There's just a dessert shortage from all the Titans being here and hence Noel can't share his dessert with her any more. It's made her sad. Not Noel."

"Yes…she's…augh, sad because there's not much chocolate…" Savior tried to say before Bobby smashed him into the floor again. "MY SPLEEN!"

"Oh you don't even know what your spleen is, much less where it is." Metatron said playfully. "Kids, he is not making Raven sad. Believe me, if he was, you wouldn't need to defend her. She can defend herself quite well."

"Really?" Melvin said.

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Yes…" Savior groaned.

"Hey guys, the Gamestation is free!" Metatron said.

"YAYYYYYYY!" The kids yelled, as Bobby appeared and placed the kids on his head before walking off.

"Yes, please leave…let me die in peace…getting dark…" Savior coughed.

"You hurt that bad?" Metatron asked.

"…The spleen is a ductless, vertebrate gland that is closely associated with the circulatory system, where it functions in the destruction of old red blood cells in holding a reservoir of blood. It is regarded as one of the centers of activity of the reticuloendothelial system." Savior rasped, as he pushed himself up. "And it's right here…beneath my lung. So yes, I think I know if I'm hurt bad."

A moment later, Savior collapsed again.

"Medic…"

"You don't have any internal bleeding. You'll be fine…well unless you have broken bones. Those are always irritating. Like grating stones inside your body."

"…what?"

"Too complicated to go into. Simply put, I can see heat. All the time and from everywhere. Like a sixth sense really. Not that complicated actually. See, when you have internal bleeding your reading shifts a bit. Yours hasn't. You'll live."

"Thanks…that helps my searing pain…in approximately no way whatsoever."

"Hey, you COULD have defended yourself. Screamed at the kids, made then afraid of you. That's what you DO, after all. Be a complete jerkass. Say, why DIDN'T you do that?"

"…they're kids…that's not fair…"

"That would have made you do some lashing Shimmer strands and an angry lecture. Instead you just let them beat on you. Feeling a tad self-destructive, Noel? You're supposed to be jerk supreme."

"…there's some law saying…I have to be?"

"I think it's in the charter between eating paint chips and the feasibility of building a pneumatic tube system between here and Disney World." Metatron said. "And come on, you know that one's GOLD. And it would only cost $17 billion-"

"…trying to…not drag the season down this time…"

"…_and?__"_

"…it just…doesn't seem as important any more."

"Why?"

"…There was an incident…a month and a half ago. It involved…chaos forces…complicated…" Savior coughed. "I don't remember any of it. Neither do my teammates. And I didn't just consult Raven: I consulted J'onn as well. He did a deep core read…nothing. Whatever happened, was just erased. And yet…I think I died. I think I died and came back. Not knowing what happened, and the possibilities…nowadays, a lot of things I took umbrage too just don't seem that urgent. And those that do…there's a better way to handle them. It's just…you know?"

"…Noel's been replaced by a pod person! Quick, get Kevin McCarthy!" Metatron fake-cried.

"…you're not funny. Either get me a medic or let me die." Savior groused.

"You are not dying. Besides, whatever doesn't kill you…" Metatron said. Savior had no reply, as Metatron stood up and leaned against the wall.

"How long are you gonna keep that up though? How long will you try to be better 'till you eventually give up the ghost as a lost cause? Decide 'Hey, it's not for me. Back to the whips!'…you see what I did there? Slavery analogy. Whips. The Shimmer. Get it? It's clever."

Savior again had no reply. Metatron walked over and poked him with his foot.

"OW!"

"Right, knew that. Now, are you REALLY going to stick with this?" Metatron said as he slid back down into a sitting position. "Nah, don't answer. Yes or no, you don't know the answer to that question anymore than I do. One of those ol' time will tell deals. You know, the ones that infuriate you with their unpredictability? You told me that. You hate not being in control. You hate the unknown."

"Who doesn't? Besides you."

"Oh see, you're tense already. Bad Noel. You should force yourself into this 'more relaxed' thing more. If something good, like this, comes out of some mess where you all died…that'd give clarity to those confused by it." Metatron said. "Don't stray. Clarity is good. I like clarity. It's good for parties. So, speaking of straying, back to the pain thing. It's already fading isn't it?"

"Go away. I've reached my daily limit of babble." Savior groused.

"Cause, you told me…" Metatron said as he poked Savior. He winced. "Pain's good for the soul. Lets you know you are alive."

"Water's good for you too. You can still drown."

"Hmmm, true." Metatron conceded. "And you were probably just being a sadist when you were sharing that little tidbit, you kindasorta trained me, y'see. Still, it has some merit to it, take it in. Thrive on it, and everything that makes you happy while you are still breathing. Your family. Rob's antics, and you like them on rare occasions, you're just good at hiding it.. Feeling loved, appreciated, respected. Raven? Yeah, let's go with Raven. And time with Raven. And sex with Raven, which you love if those months I had a room below hers are any indication…unless she was cheating on you. Wow, that'd have been depressing."

"Buh…!" Savior sputtered.

"And on that note, there's also fantasizing about sex with Raven, which you do a lot, no use pretending. It really does bring up the alarming factor that you seem to be a true one-woman man…you never thought of any other girl here or anything? Freaky or sweet. You decide. And…there's ice cream! Ice cream's good. I like ice cream. Good reason to enjoy living, that ice cream. All the flavors, just melting in your mouth. I know it's weird since I'm a heat guy and ice cream is so cold, but it's like a nice refresher for my naturally hot body. Like with vanilla ice cream, ecstasy! And chocolate and pistachio! I just LOVE pistachio-AHA!" Metatron said, abruptly jumping up and pointing down at the other Titan, his eyes sparking with recognition. "RICKY! That's what it is, Ricky! You've been touched by Ricky! THAT'S what I've been getting from you! HAH! Oh, FANTASTIC! The residual energy is still there!"

"…HUH?" Savior said, his plan to yell at Metatron for his comments abruptly cut off as Metatron knelt down and stared at Savior penetratingly

"And it's pretty recent too. You are human, it wouldn't stick to you that long. How much…it's still strong enough to not have been that long-a month? No…more than that…three, four? No more than four…"

Savior stared, having no idea what was going on or whether it was himself or Metatron who was going insane.

"Ahhhh…but that means…!" Metatron said, as his eyes became disturbingly calculative. "Ahhhh…huh. No wonder. I'd be careful around Sabotage's powers for a little if I were you, Noel. Oh wait, nothing happened there. Weird. Good talk. I'm off to save Christmas!"

And with that Metatron was gone.

_Some time later__…_

"Savior, what the hell are you doing lying on the floor?" Bumblebee said.

"Going mad, mostly." Savior said. "And I really do suspect we're all a little mad here."

* * *

"Aha! Time for my class!" Gauntlet said. "I will teach you the most important thing of all! I will teach you GET THE READERS TO LOVE YOU. And then they will demand more sce

* * *

_December 16__th__._

("OH NOSENUGGETS!")

"We should wrap up the shopping quickly. This is when it starts to get hectic and all." Wonder Girl said.

"It should not be too much trouble…wait. Hold on, mudslide in Chile. Be back later." Supergirl said, and was gone.

"…you know, I could swear she was avoiding us." Aqualad said.

"No…having more senses than the norm…can impart a certain added responsibility." Miss Martian said. "I must refrain from using telepathy to read minds and make my interactions easier, as you would consider it an invasion of your privacy. Likewise, Kara's incredible range of senses means she feels compelled to aid where she can, even if it takes her away from us. With great power…"

"Come giant headaches." Beast Boy said, as he perused the list. "This looks added to. Like we don't have enough…"

"Hey guys." Kid Flash said, abruptly there and reading the list. "My, lotta stuff."

Kid Flash's image blurred slightly and a giant mound of wrapped presents suddenly appeared beside him.

"Man, that took a relativistic hour!"

"…right, of course." Beast Boy said, as he put the list away.

"While your help is appreciated Bart, now what are we going to do for the rest of the day?" Wonder Girl said.

"I mostly grope people at relativistic speeds. I'm actually pretty bored with sex by now." Kid Flash said.

"WHAT?" Wonder Girl said.

"Kidding, kidding. Sorry. I'm glad Wally came back and all, but with him back doing the Flash duties I find I have a lot of free time I'd gotten used to not having, y'know?" Kid Flash said.

"You could always go back to…what's this? Gamestation Omega-X? What the heck, did you accidentally run into the future?" Beast Boy said.

"Heck if I know. I'm just so god damned BORED with life half the time…and you all talk WAYYYYY too slow. I think I'll go kill a random person in Uzbekistan."

Kid Flash's image blurred for a moment before re-solidifying in front of the shocked Titans.

"Better not. But DAMN it's tempting."

"…perhaps you could cut yourself off from your Speed Force, Bartholomew?" Miss Martian suggested.

"I tried it. It didn't help anything. I think I may have ADHD. Or some mild form of dementia…"

"I'm on it." Beast Boy said, as he dialed up his communicator. "Robin?"

"Yeah?" The Teen Wonder said.

"I need an impossible task."

"What?"

"Bart needs something to keep him occupied."

"Ah…okay fine. Bart! I need a movie starring the younger Wayans Brothers that's funny, and…a jar of peanut butter."

"Gone." Kid Flash said, and then he was.

"That first one should keep him occupied for…" Robin said.

"Here." Kid Flash said, dropping a DVD into Beast Boy's hands and blurred off. Beast Boy stared for a second, and then looked at the DVD.

"…_The Wayans Learn Subtle Comedy?_"

"…it's much better than the name implies." Robin said. "Well so much for…"

"Where's the peanut butter?" Kid Flash said as he re-appeared.

"Huh?"

"I can't find any peanut butter!"

"You can't?"

"The stores are out!"

"…EVERYWHERE?"

"YES! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Kid Flash said, as he blurred away and then re-appeared. "In Miami too! Oh geez, in Dallas! WHAT'S GOING ON? AUGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

And then Kid Flash was gone again. This time he did not reappear.

"…do you have a villain who is fond of peanut butter?" Miss Martian said.

* * *

"…don't look at me, my plan has nothing to do with mashed legumes." The Lord said.

"What was that sir?"

"Oh…nothing." The Lord said, as he turned back to the task at hand. "…now…just a touch…more…"

And the last glyph was painted on, moments before sinking into the clothing the Lord had sketched on it.

"Perfect. That just leaves the replication process. You're certain it will be complete soon, Miss Mori?"

"Yes sir."

"Well then…" The Lord said. "Perhaps it's time to start putting the gifts under the trees."

* * *

"O HAI." The cat said as it skidded to a stop.

"…OH NO! NOT AGAIN! AEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kole screamed as she ran away, not wanting to know after the teleporter and Hive-plan incidents. The cat gave chase: you could swear it was amused.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Kole cried, as she went into a fetal position and turned into crystal.

"IM IN UR MISPACE. TRUMITISHINZ UR LIVEZ." The cat said, as it licked Kole's crystallized forehead.

By the time Cyborg found Kole still cowering in crystal form some time later, the cat was gone.

* * *

"WHERE'S THE PEANUT BUTTER! WHERE IS IT…!" Kid Flash screamed, as he criss-crossed around the world.

And as he ran, the picture faded to a man standing in a blank room. Strangely, he was in black and white.

"_Kid Flash; a boy with such speed that he could find anything. But somewhere along the way he lost his way into a land where the thing he wants the most is not to be found. In a place called…The Twilight Zone."_

_DAH DAH DEE DEE DAH DAH DEE DEE DAH DAH…!_

"YOU! YOU STOLE MY PEANUT BUTTER!"

"_Oh crap, he's vibrated into my dimension…"_

_KER-SMASH!_

"…nuts. No peanut butter. Ah well. I'll get Nutella instead."

* * *

_December 19__th__._

"You think this is a bad thing?" Batman said on the screen.

"Quiet is a good thing. Dead quiet, not so much." Robin said. "I can't help but wonder if it's building to something."

"Did those autopsy results come back?"

"There's a holiday backup."

"Ah yes…well, hope for the best, expect the worst Robin. You have a great deal of aid there: I'm certain you can handle any problem."

"…probably." Robin said. "…I'll see if I can drop by on the day."

"No real need…"

"Sometimes it's not what's needed, sir." Robin said.

"…true. I'll see you then. Batman out."

The screen blipped off. Robin stretched.

"Hope for the best, I'd prefer."

* * *

"And it's all here?" The man said.

"The equipment in the mask will allow easy understand of the suit's capabilities. Once the initial bait is cast, this button on your wrist will activate the requested devices, which have been placed. After that, you are on your own."

"We are not alone. God is with us." The man said, taking the crate with a fervent gleam in his eye. "Thank you miss. You have done the Lord our god a great service! You will be richly rewarded for what you have set in motion!"

Marissa Mori kept her features blank as the man left…and then smiled, just a touch.

"The irony of this is beyond delicious."

"It tends to be." The Lord said back at his base of operations, as he laid down another domino.

* * *

_December 23__rd__._

"OBJECTION!"

What?

"This has gone on long enough!" Gauntlet yelled. "You've given all my scenes to that cat demon! Sure funny's funny, but come on! Where's my bone!"

I DID say I probably wouldn't be able to cover everyone…

"And that reminds me! Has everyone gotten a line yet?"

Ugh…

* * *

"Okay, the topic is apathy. Yay or nay?" Robin said.

"Don't care." Cyborg said.

"Why bother." Terra said.

"Meh." Hotspot said.

"Whatever." Flamebird said.

"Meaningless." Starfire said.

"Huh?" Melvin, Timmy, and Teether said.

"…" Bushido, Batgirl, and Jericho 'said'.

"No point." Beast Boy said.

"I am not interested." Starfire said.

"Who cares." Aqualad said.

"Bleh." Speedy said.

"_Nada_." Mas Y Menos said.

"Trouble." Supergirl said, and was gone.

"Hmmmm?" Miss Martian said.

"Not to my interest." Blue Beetle said.

"Can't say I care too much." Bumblebee said.

"Why answer?" Lightning said.

"Yes, why?" Thunder said.

"Gnarrk."

"What he said." Kole said.

"Bleh." Herald said.

"It hardly matters." Killowatt said.

"Boring." Kid Flash said.

"Why waste air?" Spoiler said.

"Dah." Red Star said.

"What a drag." Argent said.

"Weak." Pantha said.

"Pointless." Wonder Girl said.

"What's on TV?" Jinx said, and turned it on.

* * *

Happy?

"That wasn't funny. Much like the end part of this story." Gauntlet said. "And you're STILL neglecting me."

If attention is what you wish…

* * *

"Sophie…"

"I'm FINE Nigel. I'm just a little…gassy…" Sophie said, and then suddenly let out a giant burp.

"Yowza, as humans might say." Scalpel commented. Sophie hit him with a pillow.

* * *

"YOU BETTER NOT…!" Gauntlet growled.

Oh no. Don't worry. It's not that.

"…why am I suddenly afraid?"

Because you have sense.

* * *

"Just two more days!" Terra giggled, as she bounced down the hallway. She always had a special attachment to Christmas gift-giving, and with the giant crowd this year it was looking to be quite a time.

And so, Terra's good mood caused her to peer into the still being repaired evidence room, and notice that the Weather Wizard's wand had fallen off its makeshift stand. Humming merrily, she walked into the room and picked it up.

The wand sparked.

And the clouds of steam that had SOMEHOW lurked around the room for over two weeks abruptly shifted in state.

A moment later Terra was buried under a literal mound of snow.

"…….SOMEONE'S GOING TO DIE!"

The shaking of the tower attracted numerous Titans, including Raven.

And in trying to warm Terra up, Raven finally noticed the trace. And after some examination, she finally began to have some idea of what was going on.

* * *

"The final package has been delivered, sir."

"…good." The Lord said, as he laid down another domino. "…how true."

"What sir?"

"It IS better to give than to receive." The Lord said. "And I do have so much to give."

* * *

_December 24__th__._

"All right then…schedule today…I'm still hammering out the last details of our meal preparations, I'll send notice as soon as I'm done." Robin said to the Titans grouped in front of him. "Gar is planning to attend mass tonight: anyone who wants to go with him, talk with him. We'll be having an afternoon gift exchange for the people who have families to return to…anything else?"

"Yeah! What's going on with that secret Santa thing? I mean we all drew lots, but there were some duplicate names, and I want to make sure I didn't double-dip with gifts, and…" Flamebird began.

_SEVERAL MINUTES LATER…_

"And let me tell you, you DON'T want to teach a dog to dance the…" Flamebird continued.

"PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP!" Batgirl erupted.

For a moment everyone stared…and then began to applaud, much to the annoyed dismay of Flamebird. No one noticed Metatron sprawled on a couch in the back, his eyes positively glowing with amusement.

"Did you teach her that Savior?" Beast Boy asked, as the Titans looked at their white-haired comrade.

"Regretfully no…though I HAVE been considering building on it and teaching her how to quote…"

The praise abruptly turned to boos and thrown objects.

"I'M NOT THAT BAD!" Savior yelped, trying to defend himself. "I was just going to do some Shakespeare…maybe Nietzsche…"

More things were thrown at Savior.

"OKAY, OKAY! FORGET IT!" Savior said. "…is what the great…"

Savior was promptly winged by the Titans' old Gamestation, as he fell down with a squawk.

"And you said we wouldn't find a use for our last-gen video game consoles." Gauntlet said.

"At least Cyborg didn't modify it to shoot explosive discs as he originally planned." Savior groaned.

"There's still time!" Cyborg declared. "Ohhh, and I can get to work on my new Atomic Gift Wrapper…!"

"Cyborg." Robin said. "I talked to the International War Crimes court in Geneva. Guess what they consider all of your holiday inventions?"

"Well, they're Swiss, so they probably think it's an example of mechanical efficiency!"

"A war crime. They consider all of them a war crime."

"…oh." Cyborg said. "…well, I guess I'll get back to work on the Menorah-matic…"

"Cyborg…"

"The Valentineotron?"

"CYBORG…"

"The Easternator?"

"CYBORG!"

"Sometimes I wish I'd stuck with Brother Blood. He'd have been encouraging." Cyborg groused.

* * *

_MEANWHILE!_

"BUZZ BOMB, THERE SHALL BE NO FURTHER ATTEMPTS AT A GIANT ATOMIC POWERED TREE TRIMMER!" Brother Blood bellowed.

"But I've lowered the incidence of radiation poisoning for operators and bystanders!" The demolitions expert said.

"…I'd yell at you further if I wasn't feeling oddly tired…and if my hair wasn't falling out…ugh…just dismantle that damned…machine…infernal brat…"

_THUD._

"I love my armor." Buzz Bomb said.

* * *

"…so will Raven be joining us?" Starfire quietly asked Savior as Robin and Cyborg argued in the background.

"…I really…don't know." Savior replied quietly.

"…you did not upset her, did you." Starfire said quietly. "It has lasted too long."

"For the longest time, I thought I had to. But now I'm starting to realize something else is up, and I have no idea if it involves me or not." Savior said.

"What are you going to do?"

"Something." Savior said. "Just…something."

* * *

"Good day Sophie." Raven said some time later, when the Titans had scattered once more.

"Hello Raven…haven't seen you much lately." Morgue replied.

"Yes, I've been…somewhat occupied…Sophie…you've noticed the strange things happening around here recently, correct?" Raven said.

"…you're kidding, right?" The plus-sized woman replied. "Rae, what time is it?"

"Near six."

"Then we've used up all the strange, moved through the mildly bizarre, and are slipping into comfortably peculiar. It's mild befuddlement for supper tonight, hope you don't mind."

"No…tell me, have you noticed anything coinciding with these strange and unusual happenings recently?"

"What exactly, Metatron weird, or just the general insanity?"

"The latter. Because I've been following extremely minute traces of eldritch power these past few weeks…and they've led back to you. I think you're causing them."

"…"

"…Sophie, refresh my memory. Just when did you first manifest your power after you drank that tainted coffee, and why?"

"Rae: I want you to walk in a straight line, saying the alphabet with your arms to your side. I just want to make sure you're not drunk."

"I have never been that intoxicated. Please answer the question."

"…I don't really know when or how or why I manifested my powers. I drank Langstrom's blood, or rather a mutated strain of it…"

"And hence you should have gained bat-like features, or a general body mutation. Instead, you gained a mass-shifting/altering ability similar to some fictional vampires. Why?"

"…I really should have checked in with Star Labs when I gained that ability."

"It is a rather strong change…true, genetic shifts can be very strange. Remember Gardner between rings?"

"Those facial markings were ridiculous."

"Yes they were…but the point is, this strikes me more as magical. I think that somewhere in your bloodline, there's some mystic power Sophie. And the blood provided the trigger to activate it, hence how your powers manifested as a separating swarm then as a bat-humanoid."

"...all right, maybe not drunk. But perhaps high. Surely it would have been noted or at least NOTICED before."

"Ithlian believed you were one of us long before you joined us. And as said, it's subtle. And the reason I have this theory is because of how you gained the power. You drank tainted blood. Now strange things are happening. Who's blood did you drink recently? Cord Radfory. Whose power is the ability to alter probability." Raven said. "And considering that, and the fact these faint traces all lead back to you…"

"…One of us…did you mean magical or…"

"Titans, Sophie. One of the Titans."

"Sorry Rae, it's just a bit of a shock…so…I can absorb abilities by drinking blood?"

"Outright, no. It's too chaotic for that. But you seem to have retained some residual effects of his power that you're inadvertently invoking. He could cause people's bodies to have sudden, catastrophic failures to suit him, but you just seem to, well, randomly poke probability and cause odd things to occur."

"This is making less and less sense as the day goes on."

"I suppose a slight magical ability combined with probability manipulation would do that." Raven said. "In any case, it should wear off soon. The trick will be what will happen the next time you ingest superhuman blood. When that happens, see me. Maybe we can figure more out."

"You do seem to have a lot of free time lately."

"I've…had my duties."

"What's going on Rae?"

"What do you mean?"

"With Noel."

Raven was silent.

"He's making a real effort this year Rae. And yet you've gone from avoiding him to outright shunning-"

"I have my reasons."

"Do tell."

"MY reasons, Sophie." Raven said firmly.

"What did he do?"

"…that's the thing." Raven said, her voice drifting. "That's the thing…"

"Raven, I can't force you to speak. You know that." Sophie said. "But please. Confide in someone or you'll break your own heart."

"………….…I have something else to do. A cleanup of sorts. I…" Raven said, and then quietly left the room. Sophie stared after her.

"…worse then I thought. She didn't even notice you."

And Scalpel dropped down, having been on the ceiling the whole time. He'd been doing exercise instead of planning to spy…but the fact that Raven hadn't even seemed to clue in that he was there had kept him there.

"If they aren't paying attention, I can sneak up on all but two of the Titans. I've been practicing it." Nigel responded, stroking his chin as he paced forward. "Robin I can never sneak up on. I've tried time and time again. And the other one was Raven; she needed no eyes, nor ears, nothing, to find me or anyone. The fact she didn't, especially considering I wasn't TRYING to stay concealed…it's the Voidgaze." Scalpel said.

"What?"

"During the…wars with Tamaran, we were one of the few species that didn't underestimate the Tamaranians' capacity for power and fury on the battlefield. But sometimes I think…we pushed some of them too hard. We'd capture some just sitting on the battlefield, surrounded by the bodies of their fellows and the Blacktrinians they killed…they were semi-mindless. Pliant. Like they'd gone so far into the battle anger that they'd lost all comprehension of what they were capable of doing, and had been crushed by the sheer scope of the depth they could sink to. We also saw it in ships that had gotten lost or thrown off course, and been drifting through space for so long that the crew had…well, run out of thoughts. Left with just one. It consumed them, until nothing else existed. Just sitting there, looking at nothing. We called it the Voidgaze. I believe you humans refer to a similar state as the thousand yard stare. Whatever happened to Raven, it's like she saw something so bad that not only can she not let it go, she can't tell anyone lest they be tainted by it."

"So what do we do?"

"In my experience, the Voidgaze sufferers either rotted away inside and died…or found something to put what happened in perspective." Scalpel said. "We need to find some balancing information. Or a happy holiday season is the least of Raven's worries."

And then Sophie's communicator buzzed, and she checked it.

"…and speaking of worries…"

* * *

"And THAT is why we should throw off our shackles and let the men fend for themselves!" Wonder Girl finished, Sophie having come in during a long feminist rant, that in the end basically boiled down to. 'I feel insulted being asked to cook'.

"So…let me get this straight." Sophie said. "Women aren't allowed to cook because it's what's expected of us. But the men don't know how to cook and we don't have time to educate them in the art. Then who cooks?!"

"…I…uh…" Wonder Girl said.

"I'd rather be a feminist stereotype then put up with Noel cooking again." Terra said. "Leave it to me, I know what I'm doing…"

And as Terra went to turn on the gas burner, Sophie coughed.

As the gas bloomed up and caught Terra in a fireball.

"MY HAIR IS ON FIRE! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!" Terra screamed, running around crazily…before Argent put her out with a convenient bucket.

"…maybe we should just order out." Wonder Girl said.

* * *

"Hello there." Raven said.

"OH HAI THERE, PRITTY RAE." The cat said, its upper body stuck in a paper bag with its tail and backlegs sticking out. Despite the fact it was a mere paper bag, numerous sounds of what sounded like construction came from within it.

"So you're the one who's been disturbing my fellows." Raven said as she sat down next to it. The cat shifted position, and its legs and tail disappeared fully into the bag. After some shifting, its head popped back out.

"MAKIN FRENDZ."

"I'm sure you are."

"HAVIN ADVENTOORZ."

"Yes." Raven said. "But I'm afraid it's time to go home now."

"CANT. GOTS NO BUTTERYS." The cat confided.

"I have something else." Raven said, as she reached out and, with a light tap on the cat's forehead, dispelled the misplaced magic that had resulted in the creature's arrival, as it began to fade away.

"…HALP! U LEF AIRLOK OPEN!" The confused cat said, leaning up and clinging to Raven.

"It's all right. You'll be fine." Raven said quietly. The cat looked at her for a moment, and then seemingly understood.

"THANK U PRITTY RAE. GOING HOME. BRB FOR GRATE LOLZ."

And then the strange talking creature and its paper bag were gone.

"…that was strangely depressing." Savior said, as he emerged from the shadows. Raven started a bit, before looking at her supposed significant other. "Hello Raven. We need to talk."

"…that's the problem, Noel." Raven replied quietly. "We…can't."

* * *

"It's almost a work of art, isn't it, Miss Mori." The Lord said, as he watched Savior and Raven on the viewing orb, as they awkwardly tried to begin some sort of patchwork in their relationship, only to find they didn't even know where to break ground. "Maybe my main desire was stolen from me…but the process needed to snatch away my victory is…almost as satisfying."

"If you say so, master." Marissa Mori said, as she sat and typed at her hologram computer.

"Pause a moment in that, Miss Mori." The Lord said. "Just watch…see how what originally made them so happy is slowly strangling them now, neither able to find a solution by lack of understanding or too much understanding. It's why for how much, and how fiercely, people laud the emotion called love, why I see no power in it. For all it gives, it merely takes twice as much. How very human."

"Yes sir." Marissa said quietly.

"Hmmm…art." The Lord said, as he walked away from the crystal. "Everything is in place, Miss Mori?"

"Awaiting the confirmation and your order sir."

"…art." The Lord said. "As complicated as this task has become…in a way, I prefer this. The great deal of Titans visiting forced me to think on my feet, see if I could rebuild on the spot and accomplish my goals…and I did. All that is left…is execution. And no matter what happens there, I have won. Art. It's almost a shame to…set it all off."

And the Lord turned and laid down the final domino.

"Much like the arrangement of such a design as this." The Lord said, as he looked at his plan, laid out before him in crystal. Both a chart and a metaphor.

He did so love his metaphors.

* * *

"…is there anything I can do?" Savior said.

"…no." Raven said quietly. "No Noel. Just…give me my space…"

"I've been giving you space for weeks. It hasn't helped. I just…" Savior said. "Is it me?"

"…I can't say."

"…is it over?"

"…I can't say."

"…is the love gone?"

Raven had no answer.

"…I'm a deeply flawed man, Raven." Savior said. "But not always. And I can't wait forever. Remember that."

And Savior left, leaving Raven alone. After a moment, she left the room, heading for her own. She had to think. She had to find an answer. Or she would fall apart.

* * *

And the Lord chuckled darkly one last time.

"Confirmation received sir." Marissa said. The Lord turned away from the viewing orb, and stepped up to his dominos.

"All right shepherds." The Lord said, as he reached out with a claw. "Quake."

And the first domino fell.

* * *

"You pushed him away even further. Outstanding commitment." Metatron said as he was suddenly crouching by Raven. Raven ignored him: she didn't have time for his random nonsense, she needed to relax…

"You know, that never worked for me." Metatron said. "You tried to show me the basics, but lying still…never really my thing."

"…it's not for everyone." Raven said quietly.

"But Noel made the effort." Metatron said. "True, he was trying to get in your good graces, but he ended up liking it, didn't he? Of all the people you've met since leaving Azarath. He's been the first to stick with it simply because of the calm pleasure of it."

"…what is your point, Adam. I don't feel like playing Twenty Questions."

"Well, forgetting about Noel for a second, as we talk about him way too much anyway…" Metatron said, as he got up and flopped on Raven's bed. "How do you feel about two?"

"…what."

"One, how long ago was it…" Metatron said, as he turned and looked at Raven. "And two, haven't you learned to recognize Ricky's taste by now?"

* * *

The dominoes fell, one after the other…

_As a man with crazed eyes lifted up and placed the mask on his face…and screamed as the dark powers within took ahold…

* * *

_"Okay, first we need to get the meats sorted." Sophie said. "They always seem to take the longest. Then the vegetables, and then the tofu, unless Beast Boy has become a meat eater without us knowing."

"No no, we need to do the vegetables first, then we can leave those to heat while we sort everything else." Argent said.

"No no you fools!" Terra said, her head now having an ice bag tied to it. "The Tofurkey takes the longest to cook, because of all the plastics and synthetic materials they use to make it taste like the real thing. We have to start with that!"

"We must make tamales, enchiladas, buñuelos, and atole in great quantities! Your western turkey is weak. WEAK!" Pantha said.

"May I suggest a compromise?" Gauntlet said as he popped up. "Whatagot Stew!"

"What?" All the women said.

"We take all of the food items, put them in a crockpot, and let them simmer together for a day or so! It's GOOOOOOOOOD eatin'!"

There was a pause.

A moment later, Rob went flying out of the kitchen.

"He did make a certain amount of sense." Spoiler said.

"We don't have a day." Sophie said.

"And he only voted for that because he used to be a hobo." Bumblebee said.

"Good ol' hobo cookin'! Now they know how to live!" Gauntlet said from outside the kitchen.

A thrown frying pan got rid of him permanently.

* * *

And the dominoes kept falling…

_The Steel City prison was unofficially known as the Bear Trap. It held both powered and non-powered prisoners, including a raving fool who had considered himself the servant of a god. Normally, he would have been forgotten._

_But that was not the case, as the wall to the man known as Snowflame's cell exploded._

"_Wake up, drug puppet. You're needed to dance."

* * *

_"Yeah, Jaime says he and the others are doing some gift exchanging among the people who can't hang around. Should be done soon: when they are he'll head right home." Paco said, as he reported to Jaime's family (and friend Brenda, who like Paco was over at the latest Blue Beetle's house for Christmas) on the situation involving Jaime's holiday interactions with the Titans.

"Tell him to try and bring one of those ships they fly in. Gas prices are far too uncertain these days." Jaime's father, Alberto, said.

"You WANT to fly around in one of those orange bulky things?" Jaime's sister, Milagro, said.

"I could adapt."

"And I know some people who could…" Paco was saying, as there was a knock on the door. "Huh, did you guys invite someone else over?"

"…I can't see from this angle…" Brenda said, as she tried to peer out a window. "Huh, when did it get so overcast…"

And Paco opened the door.

Strangely, all he saw at first was the flowing white material on the figure's arms.

"Good day."

And then Paco went flying with a scream as the figure touched him, an explosive buzz filled the room as Paco hit the wall, jerking briefly as electricity coursed over him.

"Or perhaps not." The man in white said as he entered the house. "Hello."

And as Bianca stared at the figure, dressed in loose white pants and a robe with billowing arm sleeves, misty white hair flowing from his head…and white blades of metal jutting upward from his back, eight in all, she suddenly felt the dull, cold fear that Jaime's fate come roaring to the forefront of her mind. Something bad had entered her house, and Jaime was nowhere close.

And then it got worse, as the figure pointed at her daughter.

"I've come for her."

* * *

"Okay look, we need a head chef here, and seeing how I'm the fat one as Terra KEEPS pointing out, I nominate me. All of you who think otherwise can kiss the fattest part of my ass." Sophie said, already cross despite herself.

"No need to be rude Sophie." Flamebird said.

"Sorry, but…"

"Now listen, I've cooked pretty much every Christmas meal since I came here, so I have seniority and what I say goes!" Terra said.

"You two spend more time fighting each other than cooking! You need someone impartial! I nominate myself!" Bumblebee said.

'I leader. You all puny girly-men…girls." Pantha said.

"Maybe we should just draw names out of a hat." Spoiler said.

And Sophie coughed, and a pile of pots and pans suddenly fell over and landed on Terra's foot.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW! WHAT THE BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Terra yelled, hopping around. Despite herself, Sophie grinned.

* * *

One after another, the dominoes fell, as they began to diverge…

_By himself, Snowflame was useless. But greater forces were in play here, as a package was tossed in his lap. This was far more then just cocaine. It was mixed with a supercharged dose of Nanomachines._

_With those in place…things would be different, as the crazed man did what came naturally to him, as his screams and roars echoed throughout the prison, and the small droid that had broken in and provided him with his god fuel made good its exit.

* * *

_Alberto Reyes had suffered tragedy before. A simple attempt to let someone go had resulted in a bullet in his leg and him being forced to walk with a cane. He hadn't let it get him down.

And he sure as hell wasn't going to let some white-robed nutcase waltz into his house and threaten his family, as adrenaline surged through his body, as he leapt off the couch with a grace and agility he hadn't shown in years, as he brought his cane up and down on the invader's head.

It shattered to pieces. The man in white didn't even flinch.

"…impressive." He said.

And then a bolt of electricity flew from his eyes and blew Alberto back into the couch, causing him to smack into his wife and knock her down as well, the scent of burning hair filling the room as Milagro screamed.

"That's a disabling shot. Like a taser. Believe me when I say…" The man in white said, and then the sound of a rifle cocking caught his ears.

"Bleep off." Brenda Del Vecchio said, as she aimed Alberto's old rifle from his soldier days at the man and fired.

He gestured as she did so.

The bullet froze in mid-air, electrical power crackling on it…as the figure's eyes sparked, and Brenda was suddenly yanked off the ground by her belt buckle, the sudden yank causing her to lose her weapon.

"Enough." The figure said, as he looked at Milagro. "Come with me. Now. Or I'll cook the flesh right off their bones."

"…you promise you won't hurt them?" Milagro hissed.

"They're a means to an end. Nothing more. Unless you force the issue." The man in white said. With angry, defiant eyes, Milagro got up and followed the man in white as he started to leave, as Bianca watched with her own helpless, terrified eyes.

"…why are you doing this?" She whispered. The man in white glanced at her.

"…as the saying goes. Just business."

And Paco leapt out and buried the fireplace poker in the figure's head.

A moment later he was smashing into the wall again as another explosive buzz filled the room.

"A slow learner, that one." The man said, as he left with Milagro. "Happy holidays."

* * *

"Okay now…let's be reasonable." Terra said. "We have enough ovens to cook all the meats at once. All we need to do is get them in quickly, before dinner gets pushed back too far."

"Then let's get a move on. Turkey in the big oven, tofu in oven C." Sophie said, and the Titan females began picking stuff up and moving around the kitchen. "No wait, we should put the turkey, which is the size of a child, in the small oven, and put the tofu turkey, which is the size of a small turkey, in the big one…no wait maybe the ham…!"

_TWO MINUTES OF FRENZIED OVEN SHOVING LATER…_

"There. Now for the side dishes!" Terra said.

"…has anyone seen Argent?" Flamebird said. A moment later, a loud banging issued from Oven C.

"Oops." Pantha said, as she opened the door.

"All right, whoever did that gets a facelift!" Argent said.

"…Sophie. She needs it." Terra replied.

A pause.

Then a cream pie hit Terra in the face.

"The old ones never die." Sophie said.

"WHY YOU…!"

And as if by divine providence, Gauntlet opened the door slightly, shoved in a boom box, and began playing the song 'Girls Fight Tonight'. A moment later the kitchen collapsed into the mayhem of a food fight.

"Huh, I guess girls ARE influenced by bad 80's music. I owe Gar fifty bucks. NUTS." Gauntlet said.

* * *

Shakespeare often wrote his plays so that the fools were the ones who perceived the truth where others did not. How true that was…

"_Don't be too full of yourself, Rae. Between your life or the Titans, Noel would always choose them."_

But he hadn't…he'd done…such terrible things…

"_Let's get these out of the way shall we. With the right incentive, yes, Noel would kill all the Titans. So would you. So would Robin, Scalpel, Terra, even Star. With the right little push, everyone's a monster. But you are not it."_

But that was no excuse…

"_That's not how he thinks. It would take far more then just your life on the line for Noel to kill his family. His FAMILY. The one he has craved his entire life. Get over yourself, you are not that important."_

But…

"_But he did."_

Where did his blame lie? And why was she having such a hard time deciding it?

"_I've been trying to figure out that one. Made no sense. Not from Noel. I know him. I know his breaking point. You are not it. So why?"_

And Raven had realized…it wasn't just her and him. There were other forces at work here.

"_I tasted it. On him. Sometime in the past. I'm just guessing here, but probably around the time of the whole mess, dear ol' Ricky's influence latched on to him. And him specifically. No way it would still be noticeable to me if there hadn't been some sort of effort made on it. Didn't control him. Just edged him on. Some part of him agreed, unable to fight it."_

What did that say of him…

"_Then again, there was the little thing that his brain was dying. Eroding into nothing. Trying to fight it…but giving up. It was just too hard…"_

Too hard…like this…

"_Here's the dealy, though: He was fighting Ricky's influence, horribly handicapped and only getting worse. Ricky, whose power could flatten entire civilizations, pressing against his battered mind, suffocating, whispering, words that slowly got harder and harder to fight. 'Specially after he did it once…then twice. Then no reason to fight any more. Noel was broken already."_

There was a lot she could do here. A lot she should have done…

"_You know Raven, there are MILLIONS of reasons for you to leave Noel. He's an ass, he makes you grouchy, he's a selfish lover…but this isn't one of them. Not really. Condemn him for his harsh nature, his cold, detached thinking during missions, even his need to put down others with words to make himself feel important and in control. But don't condemn him for this. For being unable to fight an entity that was far beyond his understanding and power, when hen didn't even know he was there and he already had one foot in the grave. Don't condemn him for being human."_

And she wouldn't. And to do that, she had to talk to him.

And so she'd found him, sitting and looking out the window.

And as she entered, he turned to look at her.

* * *

"…okay, who's going to break it up?" Robin said, as he sat with the Titan males and females who weren't participating in the would-be dinner-cooking (Batgirl, Wonder Girl, and Kole to be precise), as one of the doors' window blew out from some sort of cream-filled bomb.

"Too hot for me man." Hotspot said.

"Couldn't pay me to go in there." Herald said.

Scalpel spoke with his actions, as he entered the room, took one listen, and turned around and left.

"I nominate Jericho on the basis that his dad is a giant dick." Speedy said, as Jericho looked crossly at the archer.

"Look, SOMEONE has to go in there, or we're going to be eating grilled cheese sandwiches." Cyborg said.

"Gnarrk."

And even as the Titans stared in surprise, the caveman emerged from wherever he'd been hiding and marched over to the kitchen, shoving the doors open and charging in.

"What the…!"

"GNARRRK! GNARRK GNARRK GNARKKKKKKKK! GA-NARRRKKK!"

"…I…I never thought of it that way." Terra said.

"Why are we fighting?" Sophie said.

"…your words have touched me. From this day onward, I will be kind and patient!" Bumblebee said.

"Gnarrk." Gnarrk said, as he turned and left.

"…was I the only one who didn't understand a word he said?" Argent said.

"YES!" All the other Titan females yelled.

"…actually I didn't understand it either." Spoiler said.

"BURN THE NONBELIEVER!" Bumblebee yelled.

"YOU ALREADY TRIED!" Spoiler yelled back.

And as the fight resumed, Robin buried his face in his hands and wondered why he'd ever thought this was a feasible idea.

* * *

The dominoes fell…

_One man floated. Another screamed. And another made his way down the street with a hostage…

* * *

_"We have to do SOMETHING." Beast Boy said.

"Jericho's dad, may I remind everyone, is still a giant dick." Speedy said.

And with a resounding BONK!, Jericho bashed Speedy with his lute.

"OW! Very professional Joey." Speedy said, rubbing his head…as a knife flew out of the doorway and embedded itself into the wall.

"…all right, THAT'S IT! I CREATED THIS MONSTER, AND I WILL TAME IT!" Gauntlet yelled, as he leapt up and ran into the kitchen. "HOLD IT!"

The fight continued.

"_**HOLD IT!!!!"**_ Gauntlet bellowed with a yellow-energy loudspeaker. That did the trick. "Listen up! All of you! All of this fighting, and over WHAT?! WHO COOKS WHAT!? Look, we have enough food to feed a small army. We give the leftovers to charity. YOU HAD ALL DAY! YOU HAD ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE THE THINGS YOU WANT TO MAKE! Instead…AUGH! You girls have LOST your rights to the kitchen! You've forgotten the true meaning of Christmas, and your punishment shall be our cooking!"

"…oh please Rob, like you would even know where to start." Terra said, covered in food.

"Start AND finish." Gauntlet said, as he reached into his shirt.

And pulled out a PDEM.

"CLEAN UP, AND COOK EVERYTHING!"

_BOOF._

"Win if you can, lose if you must…but ALWAYS CHEAT." Gauntlet said, as the girls stared at all the perfectly prepared food that now covered the kitchen.

And then they decided if they couldn't fight each other, Rob would do just fine.

"GET HIM!"

"Oh fruitcake." Gauntlet said, and fled from the charge of angry females as he ran past the Titans outside the kitchen, the cooks in pursuit.

"….Oh surrrrrrrrrrrrrrre, Legend Maker, the men come in and make eeeeeverrything better! That's socially responsible." Wonder Girl complained.

A moment later a lightning bolt struck her.

"NEITHER WAS THAT!"

Wasn't me.

* * *

"Shut it bitch, the game's on." Zeus said up in Olympus.

* * *

_And a desperate hand finally reached an alarm.

* * *

_"…so Rob, Youtube or Google Video?" Speedy said, holding up his video camera that had captured the whole kitchen brawl.

"Dude, you can do it on BOTH." Beast Boy said.

"…truly, this is the greatest day of my life." Speedy said.

And then the klaxons sounded.

* * *

And Savior's gaze was taken from Raven, as he looked up at the sound of the alarm, and then back at her, before getting up and sprinting off.

Raven stood there, left alone. Wondering if this was a sign that she was too late.

And in this case, she had no one to blame but herself.

* * *

"It's Steel City." Robin said, as he pinpointed the alarm source: it was a received signal rather then a direct contact. "Looks like…the city prison."

"Damn. Someone's trying to break someone out on Christmas Eve? That's cold. Or noble. Or…I don't know. Come on guys." Bumblebee said, as she turned around and headed for the teleporter with the rest of Titans East.

"You want some help Bumblebee?" Cyborg asked.

"I got it for now. We'll call if we need help." Bumblebee said. "Just watch, we'll set us a new record."

"Just come back safely. We'll hold the meal." Robin said, as he typed at the keyboard. In a flash of lights, the group was gone.

"…all right, let's break out some chips and whatnot, try not to kill your appetite…" Robin said as he began turning around.

And then the second alarm went off.

"Oh NOW what…" Robin cursed, rolling back around and activating it: this one WAS a direct contact. "Titans Tower, what is your emergency."

"GET JAIME!"

"What?" Robin said, a bit taken aback.

* * *

"GET JAIME! NOW!" Paco yelled into the emergency alarm his best friend had given him, as he chased after the creature that had stolen away Jaime's sister. Many people would call him a fool, but no one hurt the Reyes, or walked on him like he was dirt, and got away with it. And maybe he couldn't do anything about it, but Jaime could. And others.

The Titans were actually his second call. His first call didn't have a fancy teleporter.

* * *

"Where are you taking me?" Milagro growled.

"Just on a small trip. As you may have guessed, your brother is my concern." The man in white said.

"Then why didn't you go and pick a fight with him, you bleeping coward?"

"The fact you ask that kind of question simply demonstrates you…" The man trailed off, as he reached the edge of El Paso, and found company waiting for him.

While some people declared the Blue Beetle was El Paso's only superhero, that was doing injustice to some smaller, grass-roots empowered individuals. They were called The Posse, and they happened to be good friends with Paco.

"End of the line, bleephead." Team leader Damper said. "You picked the wrong bastards to piss off."

"…well, I'll give you credit for bravery." The man in white said. "But that's not worth much these days."

"WANNA BET?" Damper yelled, as the Posse moved to attack…

And the figure raised his right arm…as a gigantic, person sized spear appeared out of nowhere in his hand, and above him the black clouds crackled and roared with power.

Paco was a block away when it came down, and the sight of it froze him in his tracks.

"…_madre de dios."

* * *

_"What's wrong?" The Blue Beetle said: he'd been out of the room during the first alarm due to being across the Tower looking at some tech manuals his suit was scanning in for later.

"He wouldn't say. He sounded panicked. Could be bad. I'm going to…" Robin said.

"Jaime?" Paco's voice came again.

"Paco! What's wrong!"

"…your sister…Jaime, he took her."

"WHAT? WHO?"

"…the guy…Jaime, you better bring backup. SERIOUS backup."

"What did he do?"

"He just…"

And then Paco's voice cut off, the communicator scrambled by interference.

"BLEEP! ROBIN! GET ME THERE! YESTERDAY!" Blue Beetle yelled, running over to the teleporter.

"Hold on…Gauntlet. You're going with him." Robin said.

"What? Just me?" Gauntlet said.

"No, you're team leader of his backup. Pick whoever you want. Quickly."

"…no problem." Gauntlet said, as he turned around to face the mass Titans. "Kara. Megan. Cassie. Bart. I learned from the Hive: stack the deck. Let's go."

"I am coming too." Red Star said. Gauntlet looked confused.

"Why?"

"I would not be much of a hero if I neglected pain and suffering depending on location. And hearing his words… in my gut, I feel that I must aid in this."

"Sure sure fine! COME ON!" Blue Beetle yelled.

"Don't worry Jaime. We'll find whoever did this and stomp his ass so hard he'll come out in China." Wonder Girl said, as she, Gauntlet, Supergirl, Miss Martian, Kid Flash, and Red Star joined him on the teleporter.

"…wow, Titans together really is no joke."

"Not if we have anything to say about it." Robin said, and initiated the transfer.

"…bad things come in threes." Savior said a few seconds later. Various Titans shot him a dirty look. "Just saying."

"I agree. This smacks of a setup of some sort." Robin said, as he began attempting contact with Titans East. "Bumblebee, report back to ensure connection. Over."

Static.

"Bumblebee, do you read? Over."

More static.

"…Gauntlet, do you read me?"

Static.

"…it's a trap." Metatron said quietly.

* * *

"Communicator fields jammed." Marissa Mori said as she typed on her hologram pads. "Initiating electron dispersal web…"

And a signal appeared on one of her screens. The last pieces on the board were in play. With that confirmed, Marissa resumed her rapid typing.

* * *

Robin was about to reply when the third alarm went off. Though in the end, said alarm proved somewhat redundant, as Robin could see and hear the explosion from his window.

"…damn it all." Robin said. It _HAD _been a vacuum. "Cyborg, check our communication array ."

"Already did so. We've been blocked. Inner-city communication still works, but trying to get ahold of the others…ugh. Damn. I'm trying to work around it but…no dice. Teleporting is likely also a bad idea, if they can jam us up like this."

"All right then…" Robin said, as he stood up. "Cyborg, stay here and act as operations. Melvin, Timmy, Teether, Bobby, stay here and act as his bodyguards!"

"Okay!" Melvin said, pleased to be helping.

"Metatron, please stay with Cyborg too: we haven't worked out battle tactics with you and I'm concerned you'll trip us up." Robin said. When there was no reply, Robin glanced at Metatron and found him sitting at the computer and chatting with the kids happily as he typed up what Cyborg needed. Robin blinked. Still waters did run deep.

"Everyone else, you're with me! Raven, same tactic of mindhive! Let's show whoever decided to pull this bleep why it was the worst decision they could have made." Robin said, as he led the remaining Titans out of the room.

"Oh Ricky, what silliness are you trying now?" Metatron muttered under his breath.

"What Adam?" Cyborg said.

"Oh nothing. Just thinking out loud. Mumbling random things of absolutely no consequence to the situation."

* * *

In the end, Jaime could see why Paco had become speechless.

Robin had warped Jaime to the other emergency device, which had been located in Jaime's house. He'd quickly checked on his family, but his mom, a nurse, told him they were fine, in a sense, and to go rescue his sister. It wasn't hard: Jaime's incredibly advanced alien armor had immense tracking abilities. First, he'd gone to where Paco was located.

He'd found him…and the Posse, lying prone on the ground…and a massive black scar carved across the road and into the desert beyond, nearly half a mile long.

"It was like the wrath of god, man. It just came out of the sky and…boom. They never had a chance." Paco said, as the Titans checked on the Posse. Amazingly, they were only stunned, like Paco and Jaime's dad had been. Jaime had been grateful, until the scarab had informed him of the problem of the attack. Something that could do so much damage, and yet leave its initial targets so specifically unharmed…

"Damn…" Blue Beetle said, as the Scarab informed him of the apparent facts: any being could call down a crushing blow and smash an enemy, but something that could exhibit such fine control in its destruction was infinitely worse.

That bothered the Scarab enough, except it got worse. Jaime's house and the attack site reeked of magic. The Scarab hated magic. It was random, confusing, and near-impossible to properly counter if the target knew what they were doing. And not only did the target seem to know what they were doing, they had the motherload to back them up.

"…you all right man?" Paco asked.

"If I'm reading this right, it's a bad road ahead." Blue Beetle said.

"Then let's go on a road trip." Gauntlet said, as the backup Titans clustered around Blue Beetle. "You're in the lead Jaime. Know where to go?"

"…yeah." Blue Beetle said, as his suit locked on to his sister. "Let's go. Try and stay in a group, guys. Can't be split up and picked off."

And Titans Beetle, for lack of a better term, headed off into the Chinhuahuan Desert.

* * *

"Robin, do you read me? Hello? BLEEP!" Bumblebee cursed as she stuck her communicator back in her belt and looked once more at the fiery mess that had once been Steel City's primary prison, Titans East standing in the exercise yard. "What the hell is going on!"

"Guards and prisoners have been mostly evacuated. Still no sign of just what…" Speedy said.

"¡AHÍ!"

And then the figure stepped forth from the falling dust and ash of the prison. Like a rain of snow.

"…what the, YOU?" Bumblebee said incredulously.

Snowflame had no response…except he wasn't Snowflame any more. His mind had been stripped away and reprogrammed. No more Snowflame, the so-called avatar of cocaine. He was simply an Instrument now.

And Instruments did not talk. They acted.

And so the Instrument did, as he bellowed…and blue-white flame erupted onto his body, spiking into the sky as Titans East recoiled. Snowflame's mild metahumans talents may have been triggered by cocaine…but the Nanomachines operating in him had taken that base power and cranked it all the way to dial-breaking status.

"…strange, you struck me as being on the naughty list." Bumblebee said quietly.

And then the Instrument blazed fire at them.

* * *

The dark clouds roiled overhead as the Titans found Milagro Reyes, placed on an isolated bluff amongst a series of mountains and cliffs.

"JAIME!"

"Hold on sis!" The Blue Beetle said, as he flew forward…

And jerked to the side as his system screamed a warning at him, a moment before a bolt of lightning zapped past him and slammed into the ground, leaving a scarred black glass crater.

"Well, I suppose if you…" The man in white said from the mountain crag above Milagro.

Blue Beetle didn't bother answering: he just slammed his hands together as his armor formed a powerful blasting cannon, as he fired a bright blue energy blast at the man in white, who vanished in the explosion.

"BASTARD!" Blue Beetle yelled, as Supergirl swooped in and grabbed Milagro, carrying her away with a squawk.

"I'll get her to safety. Be back soon!" Supergirl said, and flew off.

"Yeah, maybe we can use her super-vision to pick up the smaller…pieces…" Gauntlet trailed off, as the smoke cleared, revealing the man in white standing there, unharmed.

"…a fine display of dust, if that was your intention." The man in white said.

"…who the hell ARE you?" Blue Beetle said.

"I am Cataclysm."

And Cataclysm raised his spear, and the heavens above roared with crackling electric power.

"And you are about to have a very, very bad day."

* * *

A suddenly supercharged joke and a terrible power out of nowhere were both bad experiences…but as Robin arrived at the site of the explosions in Jump, he found his wasn't much better.

"SO THE TITANS HAVE COME!" The floating figure yelled: he was dressed in a black monk-like robe…and wore an elaborate mask with a demonic visage and giant horns. "KRAMPUS WELCOMES YOU! And CONDEMNS YOUR CITY OF SIN!"

"Knock his block off." Robin growled, and a storm of projectiles flew at the entity called Krampus…as he raised a staff, and a dark shield appeared around him, deflecting and absorbing the attacks.

"…magic." Raven said.

"Magic? I'm reading technology!" Cyborg said, as he tapped at his computers back at the Tower. "…it's BOTH?"

"Merging the eldritch with the scientific is no easy task. Be on your guard Titans, we…"

And then Krampus hurled a gigantic fireball at the Titans, forcing them to scatter. Another giant storm of projectiles fired at Krampus, but his black shield blocked them again.

"THESE NUMBERS DO NOT DO! I SHALL EVEN THE ODDS!" Krampus yelled, as he gestured. Robin tensed, expecting backup.

What happened was worse.

"ROBIN! PROBLEM! I just picked up a fragmented multi-directional signal! He just sent an activation code to multiple locations! I think they're bombs!" Cyborg said on Robin's communicator.

"Can you track them?"

"I think so!"

"Damn it. Okay. Titans!" Robin said as he went to the general band on his communicator. "This bastard just activated a bunch of bombs! Cyborg's going to provide a tracking signal! Everyone who can fly, swing, or move faster then the norm, FOLLOW THE SIGNALS!"

"But what about you Robin?" Starfire replied.

"I'm going to go give this bastard a few lumps of coal." Robin said, as he whipped out of his staff and charged.

He barely noticed it himself: it came to him as a slight tingling in his muscles. However, a moment later Killowatt charged in as well…and yelled in surprise as his electrical powers abruptly cut off.

"WHAT THE!" Killowatt said.

"DIE!" Krampus yelled, as he hurled another fireball at the suddenly-helpless electrical Titan…as Robin dove in and rammed into Killowatt, knocking him aside as the fireball seared their flesh.

"…oh no." Raven said: she'd thought she felt an odd energy, but she hadn't had time to place it. Now she did.

"What is it?" Robin said: the communicator had been left open and Robin had heard her over it.

"…the orb. It's an Orb of Archetypal. He's got an Orb."

Robin stared in sudden horror: the Orb stole powers. The core Titans had experience with them.

But the rest of the Titans didn't.

"AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Krampus bellowed, as he floated up…and various Titans fell out of the sky, Krampus' upward motion seemingly increasing the range of the magical artifact. "NOW DIE!"

And in all three locations, the fire rained down.

* * *

And safe in her observations, Marissa Mori calmly hummed _The End Is The Beginning Is The End._

And the last of the dominoes fell.

* * *

_You want to know what happened that night?_

_I'll tell you soon._

_We called it The Lost Christmas Eve._


	4. The Lost Christmas Eve

Part 4: The Lost Christmas Eve

_**I am villain.**_

_**I do not accept your label, but I display it anyway. For you. As you would accept little else. You believe me to be evil, my acts pure malice, my desires sadism and nothing else. Insane. Needing to be stopped. And above all else, wrong.**_

_**I have accepted that so very few of you will ever have the development needed to grasp the truth.**_

_**If I am villain, then what are you?**_

_**Human? What is humanity? I could make my usual speech here…but instead this time I will be brief. If humanity is not an aberration, then why am I so strong? When I strip them of their darkness, their failings and sins, what is there for their heroes to do? And how else could these so-called heroes define themselves, if not through my hand and will?**_

_**You need me. All of you.**_

_**I am your natural state.**_

_**As I cast my hand over my enemies, these Titans, who would stand in the way of what will be, you condemn me for it.**_

_**Do you not see how necessary I am?**_

_**Look at them, assembled in their groups, throwing themselves at my weapons. I made them this way. I and all my lesser, misguided ilk. Without them, without me, the heroes you cheer and cry for would be nothing but bored superhumans who could care less about you. Our fires, MY fires forged them. My actions refined them. My desires gave them strength. Could you have done such a thing, with your small, small words and ovations?**_

_**My right hand…heroes could not help her. Virtue gave her no answers or peace. I did. I did what was necessary to remake her, consequences to others be damned. Look at her now. Creating, to the best of her ability, instead of slowly rotting away, little more than a corpse. You consider that acceptable? You consider it what should be?**_

_**Your society…what are you without me? How can you rise above your petty, banal natures without something to match against? This time of year, so full of words on brotherhood and generosity towards men…how would you know such things were good, if I was not here to let you define bad?**_

_**You consider me the one in error. For that, you hate and fear me. You wish me gone.**_

_**I will never be gone.**_

_**I AM you.**_

_**Without I, there is no kindness, no nobility, no brave sacrifice, no heroic resolve. Without me, all there is is ever-approaching entropy. I am your rock, your pillar, your basis for existing.**_

_**You tell me I am wrong, cruel, terrible for what I have unleashed on the Titans here?**_

_**The irony is…this was not my intention. This came from others, whose desires are far easier to understand. You will see them soon. You will see why. And you will see something else.**_

_**The spark of this came from malice.**_

_**But the fire, and all it entails, comes from me.**_

_**Don't you see, little minds?**_

_**IT'S A GIFT.

* * *

**_It wasn't easy, being the offshoot.

Then again, that was her own damn fault. Bumblebee could have joined the core Titans. She had the cred, not to mention the training and experience (even if most of it had come in being the insider among the Hive), and considering they'd let someone like Sophie Mathews into their ranks (not that Bumblebee had a problem with her: it was just a surprising lack of tradition involved with Mathews when it came to metahuman types), she'd have probably had a spot as well. But at the time, having spent too much time under the thumb of Brother Blood and his mad schemes, she'd rankled at the concept of being under the charge of others again, even if Robin and Blood's leadership styles were worlds away. She wanted freedom: her own territory, her own setup. And, as it turned out, her own group, after Cyborg had helped whip them into shape.

She'd owed him a fair bit, and hence they'd become Titans East. Exactly WHY they were east, considering they weren't much further east then Florida, Bumblebee never quite puzzled out. Maybe it sounded better then Titans 2.0, or Titans Reserves, or Titans Extra, or whatnot.

The scorn would have been there no matter what they'd been titled. Too many people considered them rejects, second-stringers, less than heroes and more then the military reserves that got called out to direct traffic or shovel snow. Unworthy to be among the supposed elite (funny how people could swing from calling the Titans stupid/dangerous kids and 'the elite). Easy to handle.

As Robin and Cyborg had taught her, Bumblebee and her team had used that misconception to their maximum advantage. Maybe they didn't have as many notches on their belt as their namesake…but the Bear Trap was full of people who'd mistaken independence for failure. And at the same time, Bumblebee couldn't help but feel some gratitude for the scorn. It made all the serious nutcases and heavy-hitters look to the Titans rather than them. Bumblebee had yet to encounter their Slade, and privately she hoped that the preparations she'd made for such a possibility would never have to be invoked.

But this time…serious trouble had emerged. Bumblebee didn't know what the hell had happened to Snowflame, but when he'd lit up the night sky with a power discharge, she knew his second wind wasn't going to be as easily expended as the last.

"…Mas. Menos. Keep away from him. Supervise the rest of the evacuation for now." Bumblebee said, as The Instrument crouched over, breathing in heavy exhilaration, steam wafting up from the snow below him, the heat of the fire burning on him evident on Bumblebee's bare skin even from the distance she was at.

"_¡Afirmativo!"_ The twins said as they ran off.

"And us B?" Speedy said.

"See if you can't…"

"RAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" The Instrument bellowed, as he slammed his hands on the ground and fire exploded across the exercise yard, forcing the three remaining Titans to scatter as flaming stone pelted them from the ground eruption.

"BLEEP! HEY B! MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL FOR SOME HELP!" Speedy yelled.

"I TRIED! COMMUNICATION…!"

"RRRAAAUUGH!" The Instrument roared once more, as he charged at Bumblebee, who shrank down and zapped out of the way, even as she peppered the Instrument with shots. Her Stinger blasters were designed to lose as little force as possible when she invoked her molecule-altering ability to shrink down, but her shots proved as ineffective as an actual bee-sting might have, as the Instrument kept charging…right into the wall, unleashing a blast of fiery force that crumbled most of the stone onto him, sending a crashing wave of smoke and dust blowing out onto the yard as Bumblebee returned to her normal size.

"Is down. We're on our own." Bumblebee finished.

"Peachy." Speedy said.

The pile of stone erupted, sending more slicing shrapnel across Titans East's members as they recoiled and cursed, and the Instrument rose, seemingly unaffected by his bulls-charge, as he roared once more, a noise of pure relentless apoplexy. In that sound, Bumblebee realized just how true his old words were. Snowflame, the Instrument, really was the fire now, and would keep burning until there was nothing left. Of him, and who knew what else.

"He's insane. Out of control." Aqualad said.

"That might be the only advantage we have." Bumblebee said, as she tightened her grip. "Don't let him get near the people of this city. Bring the whole prison down on his head if you have to-!"

The Instrument slashed out his arms, and bolts of fiery power flew from him, slamming into the building around Titans East and causing further explosions.

"If he doesn't do it first!" Speedy yelled, and then the Instrument charged again.

* * *

"Ladies first." Cataclysm said.

Miss Martian answered, as her eyes glowed red and fired twin blazing beams of psychokinetic force at Cataclysm. They struck him and exploded, but he barely moved.

"You call that a opening shot?" Cataclysm said, and retaliated with his own electrical optic blast, blowing Miss Martian out of the sky. "Is that the best you have to offer?"

"_Net."_

Cataclysm glanced to the side as Red Star cut loose with his own energies, engulfing him from the side in a burning stream of power. That actually caused him to lose a step…as Wonder Girl flew in and smashed her fist across his face, violently snapping his head back even as he staggered…

And electricity slammed back through Wonder Girl's arm, even as Cataclysm turned and smirked at her, the same white/blue power crackling in his eyes.

"I'd say _Sango_, but one should limit how much they take from their sources." Cataclysm said, as his spear shifted and fired a gigantic bolt of lightning, enveloping Wonder Girl and sending her flying across the desert sky with a scream, even as she slammed into Blue Beetle as he tried to fly in with another shot, both of them tumbling to the sands below.

"BASTARD!" Red Star yelled, as he flew in…as another lightning bolt zapped out of the sky and blasted the Russian right into the ground.

"And your second shot wasn't much better." Cataclysm said, turning away.

"_Dah._"

"Oh did you…?" Cataclysm said, turning back.

The Gauntlet energy fist slammed into the electrokinetic. This time, he went flying.

"AHA! I KNEW speaking Russian would make you think I was Red Star!" Gauntlet declared…as Cataclysm flipped in mid-air and landed on his feet.

"Let's see if you can handle this as well as him then!" Cataclysm retorted, and twisted his spear around to aim at Gauntlet. "_XEVISIO!"_

"Bleep." Gauntlet said, and shifted to a shield as another gigantic lightning bolt flew from Cataclysm's weapon. It struck the yellow energy, Gauntlet taking a step back as the power surged against him.

"On second thought, it does have its certain charm." Cataclysm said. "_TARANIS!"_

"What the…OH BLEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!" Gauntlet yelled as the electrical blast abruptly split and arced away from his shield: too late to switch directions, he was caught in the epicenter of the attack as it refocused on him after bypassing his defense, the energies throwing him across the rocky ground where Cataclysm was standing.

"Still waiting to be impressed."

By the time Cataclysm felt the first blow, Kid Flash had hit him roughly 54,000 times.

But even as the light speed barrage smashed onto Cataclysm's form, his body jerking from the impacts, Kid Flash sped away and slid to a stop, his own muscles twitching and shuddering from the current.

"…beginning to understand?" Cataclysm said: Kid Flash glanced at the man in white, as he twisted his shoulders and neck, like Kid Flash's attack had been a relaxing massage. "Striking me…has consequences. You may ride lightning, speedster…but I am _of _lightning."

And then Miss Martian flew in and smashed Cataclysm with a high-impact blow, sending him flying off the mountain segment and into another bluff, as its surface broke apart and collapsed from the impact.

"Lightning does not babble like a brook." Miss Martian said.

And then the sky roared as the bolt came down, and Miss Martian vanished in its blast, her cry lost in the terrible sound of electricity superheating and shattering rock.

"How true." Cataclysm said, now standing on top of the bluff, looking none the worse for wear. "It strikes when you'd least suspect."

Arching an eyebrow, Cataclysm turned to the faint sound behind him…as Gauntlet, Red Star, Blue Beetle, and Wonder Girl all settled down, scorched and angry.

"Ah, finally beginning to clue in that attacking me one at a time is a bad idea?" Cataclysm said. "Then let's get serious."

* * *

And if the two Titan groups elsewhere thought they had it bad…well, at least they still had powers.

"DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Krampus screamed, as he began hurling down fireballs, the blasts exploding across the street…

As Flamebird and Spoiler swooped in on grapples and hurled a plethora of smoke bombs at the demonic figure. The shield worked against Krampus this time, as it let all the miniaturized canisters impact on something and activate, as Krampus vanished in black smoke. His angry yells came from within it, even as more fireballs did so as well, but the attack was wild, allowing the Titans to take cover and avoid them.

"Robin?" Killowatt said.

"Thinking." Robin replied, his eyes narrowed and focused. His opponent had already thrown his curve ball before he could read it: now he had to…

"Titans!" Raven's voice crackled over the communicator. "Listen! The enemy can block powers! But the blocking has LIMITED RANGE. I repeat, LIMITED RANGE."

Apparently, someone up there liked him. Not only with that information, but that Raven had had the foresight to tell everyone instead of just him.

"All right Titans listen up!" Robin said, as he plucked off his communicator even as his mind whirred. "Cyborg, have you isolated the signals sent out?"

"Yes! There were twelve of them!"

"Twelve…" Robin said. "Okay Titans, I'm altering the plans! Cyborg, try and pinpoint the twelve receiving points! And get me a timeline! If they didn't go off immediately there must be some sort of timer!"

"DIE SINNERS!"

"Oh right." Robin said, even as he leapt to the side a moment before a fireball consumed him. The smokescreen had faded, and Krampus' vision was restored, as more fireballs rained down after the first and the Titans scrambled for cover once more.

* * *

Savior cursed as a nearby car exploded, red hot bits of metal whining past him as he recoiled and stumbled. God, shrapnel _stung. _And the Titans thought he was picky insisting all of his clothing being made of the best body armor possible. It helped when unexpected things like a blocked Shimmer suddenly cropped up.

Still, he couldn't push it: he had to get outside the damn radius of this nullification effect…

And then another fireball exploded near him, and a moment later Jinx tumbled into his line of vision, as she completed her one-handed flip and landed on her feet, looking both angry and scared.

"What are we DOING?"

"Running!" Savior yelled, as he grabbed her arm and dragged her along. "We're of no use…inside the…!"

And Savior felt a tingle shoot through him. He ran several more steps and then stopped, as Jinx took advantage of his ceased movement to yank her arm away.

"DON'T HAUL ME AROUND LIKE A COW YOU…!" Jinx yelled, as she kicked at Savior.

And the Shimmer grabbed her foot.

"Not now. We're outside!" Savior said, as he whirled around and fired off twin Shimmer lines.

And screamed, recalling the energy as he stumbled and fell to one knee.

"What happened?" Jinx said.

"Ow…field of effect…thought…" Savior hissed. Jinx blinked, and then whirled and fired off a hex blast. It abruptly disappeared several feet from her.

"Damn. I'd hoped that would work." Argent said as she joined the pair, even as more Titans escaped the area of effect…

And Flamebird hurled Batarangs (Flamearangs?) at Krampus: they bounced off his shield. But they succeeded in drawing his attention, which is what Flamebird intended, as she sprinted away even as Krampus hurled more fireballs at her. She knew Robin needed time to plan, so she'd decided to 'draw some aggro' for him. She hoped he appreciated her efforts, when all was said and done. Maybe lots of people found her annoying, but she hadn't stuck at the dangerous business of heroing for the laughs.

And unlike in a MMORPG, you couldn't just run back to your body and start over when you die.

Something Flamebird knew all too well, as a fireball exploded behind her and she dove for cover behind another car.

* * *

"Got a timeline?" Robin said, as he held out his communicator, watching the Titans flee from his own cover. He didn't have much time.

"No! But I have the locations locked! If they can get their communicators to the actual devices and attach them, I think I can disarm them from here!"

"You're sure?"

"Never sure but…"

"It will have to do." Robin said as he ran through the Titans who were still with him here in Jump and rapidly assembled a plan, as he typed on the keys of his communicator.

"Titans, here's the plan! The enemy has a power blocking field AND he's armed multiple bombs around the city! Everyone look at their communicator! The ones whose are flashing, you're being sent after the bombs! Everyone else, you're to stay here while I work out another plan to get around his power negation! Don't argue with my choices! Cyborg will properly divide and guide you to the explosives! GO! QUICKLY!"

* * *

"What? How dare he separate us! I…!" Lightning said as his communicator blinked, indicating Robin wanted him to run off and disarm one of the bombs. The problem was Thunder's was not blinking, indicating Robin wanted him to stay.

"Brother, you heard Robin! Gain glory in mercy instead of battle!"

"But…very well!" Lightning said, as he flew off into the sky, Argent and Killowatt following suit.

"Good luck Robin…please be all right." Starfire said quietly as she too flew off.

"Cyborg, give me one of the farthest targets. My horn can take me there a lot faster then the rest. Give me more then one if you have to." Herald said, tapping his fingers rapidly on his incredible instrument as he awaited Cyborg's reply.

"Why have I been assigned to…?" Scalpel said, curiously looking at his blinking communicator.

"Because inside that sphere you put the weight in dead weight." Wildebeast groaned: with Scalpel's immense alien strength cut off by the Orb, his body had been unable to move under its own density. Wildebeast, Gnarrk, and Pantha had all been required to drag the alien out of its range.

"He's right. I'll put you on a rooftop: you run and jump from there to get for your target. Cyborg, give Scalpel the closest one. He's the slowest of the faster ones, so to speak." Raven said, as she lowered herself down by Scalpel and Morgue. "Morgue, get a target quickly, we can't have your shifting aspect wasting time."

"Yes'm. Be careful Nigel." Sophie said as she ran off.

"This is where we part ways, Miss Morath." Savior said as his communicator blinked. "Try not to get hurt."

"Try not to defenestrate yourself too many times." Jinx replied.

"Oh do shut up." Savior said as he tossed out a Shimmer strand and swung off.

"Robin, I'm going to my own target. I'll return as soon as possible. Something's…not quite right here." Raven said.

* * *

"I've assessed that myself." Robin replied: he didn't have to add he hadn't quite put his finger on what. The need to multitask in dealing with a new enemy, the sudden power removal, and the way and order these two factors had occurred in regards to the events immediately beforehand ensured that all the answers to the questions raised weren't going to arrive at once, especially with the priority factor of keeping himself alive.

"BLASPHEMERS!"

More fireballs rained down, as Robin scrambled for cover once more. Despite the danger, he was starting to get some sort of pattern down. Whoever Krampus was, he clearly had little to no experience with his powers. Not to mention his words sounded half the time like he was reading from a script: not every villain could be clever or menacing but they were generally sincere. The only sincere thing in Krampus was his clear anger, and the fact said anger was often mixed with religious overtones. _Great, it's Godsend all over again._

Lack of 'heart' aside, Krampus clearly had some nasty firepower (literal and not) on his side: inexperience could be negated if the experience of your opposition was likewise so. And most of the honorary Titans had virtually nil experience in turn when it came to fighting without powers.

But Robin hadn't been picked, and stayed, as Batman's partner because he filled out the suit nicely. With the twelve Titans dispatched to disable the bombs, that left…twelve other ones, himself included. Robin chuckled briefly despite himself. Strange how things worked sometimes.

"All right. Batgirl, Spoiler, Flamebird, you're with me. Throw anything in your belts you have at him, but be careful not to use up ALL your weapons…!"

"DIE!"

Robin backflipped away from another fireball and put himself between Krampus and one of the many plumes of smoke the demonic figure's attacks had caused and causing Krampus to lose sight of him. Another sign of inexperience: you didn't give your enemy an advantage if you could avoid it

"Jinx, Bushido, you're on the ground as targets. You're just to engage in evasive moves to draw his fire! Your safety is paramount: look after yourself before the rest of us!" Robin said, cutting off Jinx's complaint before she could make it. "Okay then…Wildebeast! Pantha! Gnarrk! You need to stay out of range of the power-blocking sphere…I want you to find every single heavy object that isn't nailed down and throw it at our enemy! Thunder, when they do that, you use your power to propel the thrown object into Krampus! That protective shield can't hold up forever: if we can break it we can actually get back in business!"

"How do we tell where power blocking sphere is?" Pantha replied.

"…that's for the remaining two of you." Robin said. "Jericho, Kole, stay in front of the catapult Titans. If you feel a deep tingle, tell them to back up, Otherwise…stay alive."

"I understand Robin!" Kole said. Jericho couldn't reply: an accident with his vocal chords had long rendered him a mute.

And with that, Robin had a plan.

"Little INFIDEL."

And just in time, as Krampus floated down.

"You will BURN." Krampus hissed.

"Worse than you have made that threat. Worse yet will." Robin replied.

Another fireball flew at Robin…who intercepted it with a freeze disc, as he pulled out his staff once more and charged.

* * *

As the Instrument barrelled through Titans East, the three heroes scattering as the fire he blazed with grasped for them. Speedy cursed inwardly and contemplated adapting his costume to cover his bare arms before he had nocked and let loose two energy arrows.

They shattered on the Instrument, who acted like Speedy had thrown some cotton swabs at him: ie, ignored his attack entirely, as Bumblebee tried her full-power Stings on the out of control madman. They might have made him grunt: Bumblebee wasn't sure, and the sound quickly changed into another bellow as the Instrument reached down, dug his fingers into the ground, and ripped a giant chunk of stone out of the yard's floor that he hurled at Titans East, who scattered once more.

Aqualad came to a stop from his dodging flip and reached out, seizing the pipes and anything else he could find in the nearby walls and ripping them out as he took control of the water within, as he let The Instrument have it with several highly concentrated streams including one from a fire hose. The Instrument vanished in a giant cloud of steam…and then bellowed once again as the steam was replaced by fire, the villain setting off a giant eruption of flame with himself at the nucleus, the shockwave slamming into Aqualad and throwing him backwards, his water cannon attack cut off. The Instrument strode forth while the hydrokinetic tried to get up and thrust out his hands, firing a blazing stream of flame.

And struck empty ground, as Mas Y Menos dragged Aqualad away, stopping after a few dozen feet to rest.

"Thanks." Aqualad said.

"_Por primera vez, lamentamos la carencia de pescados convenientes."_

"I wouldn't want to subject them to this anyway." Aqualad said grimly, as several arrows flew and hit the Instrument in the back. All that made him do was turn around and charge at Speedy, who dodged and caused the Instrument to slam into another wall.

"_¡Suficiente!"_ Mas Y Menos yelled, as they blurred away and returned with one of the workout weights the prisoners had once used. "_¡MAS Y MENOS! SI PODEMOS!"_

And the twin zapped out and rammed the weight into the small of the Instrument's back, aiming for a nerve cluster they vaguely remembered from Robin's lessons…and then fleeing immediately due to the terrible heat the Instrument was emitting searing them badly, sending them back next to Aqualad as they jumped and yelled in Spanish, trying to cool off in the snow on the ground.

Meanwhile, the Instrument turned back around, seemingly none the worse for wear. He'd taken a shot that would have floored Mammoth, and hadn't even seemed to notice.

"_Me gustaba mas cuando él era una referencia obscura a un concepto terrible para un bandido."_ Mas Y Menos said.

"No bleep." Aqualad replied, and the Instrument charged in once more.

* * *

The Scarab hated magic. It skirted, if not outright broke, the concepts and logics the alien device had been designed on, and even if it had been magic that prevented _it _from being more then a tool, it still aggravated the sentient weapon whenever it encountered it.

Based on the traces left in Jaime's home, the Scarab had foreseen that their enemy would be using it. The place where the Posse had fallen indicated that it wouldn't be some idiot playing with a book either.

But even it hadn't anticipated the sheer AMOUNT of magical energy the being called Cataclysm would be throwing out, as he furiously battled the Blue Beetle and his allies. What was worse was what the Scarab had assessed in the released energies. Its ability to read those that opposed it and develop countermeasures, no matter the type of foe or technique, was not to be trifled with. It could even develop weapons to counteract the hated magic, if it was fortunate.

It was not fortunate here: not only was Cataclysm throwing out giant amounts of energy, but it was so scrambled and chaotic that the Scarab couldn't get any kind of read on it at all. That was bad enough.

What had panicked the Scarab was that as subtle as it was, this was not a natural byproduct of Cataclysm's actions.

He was doing it on purpose.

He _knew _the Blue Beetle well enough to find a blind spot and exploit it. Considering Blue Beetle's minimal experience and the Scarab's abilities, that spoke of nothing good.

And it just kept getting worse.

"_CHAAC!" _Cataclysm said, electrical energy surging into the shape of a giant axe around his spear, and he slashed out at Gauntlet and Wonder Girl, knocking them aside even as Miss Martian and Red Star fired twin beams of power at him. They struck him dead center, but Cataclysm shrugged off the attacks again and swung his spear back around.  
_"JASSO!"_

The lightning ball blasted from his spear, striking Miss Martian and driving her away again, as Red Star closed in and furiously attacked, smashing energy-charged fists across Cataclysm's face.

"MONSTER!"

"You're one to talk." Cataclysm said, lashing out a hand at Red Star.

The Russian feinted back…and Cataclysm opened his hand and electricity surged from it, transfixing and frying the Titan, his body wracked from the spasms, still human in that regard, as Cataclysm took another step back and swung his spear back around.

"And you're a long way from home, comrade." Cataclysm said. _"XEVISIO!"_

The lightning blast blew Red Star off the rocky outcropping and right into the desert below, scouring a black mark across the sand before his body came to a stop.

"I guess my transport fell a bit short." Cataclysm said.

A Gauntlet energy fist slammed into Cataclysm again, and once more the man in white staggered.

"YOU-DON'T-GET-TO-MAKE-QUIPS!" Gauntlet yelled, as he hammered away at Cataclysm, smacking his spear away every time Cataclysm tried to bring it to bear…before Cataclysm reached for the hilt and yanked a hidden blade from within it, slashing at an opening in the energy and slicing a bloody line on Gauntlet's leg, driving him back with a hiss…

"I got him Gauntlet!" Blue Beetle said, swooping in and sent a rain of missiles down on Cataclysm, the weapons detonating and emitting pure force instead of fire, the rapid impacts slamming into Cataclysm…as Kid Flash blazed in and slammed a hammer blow across the back of Cataclysm's head, driving him to his knees while the speedster scrambled to a stop, shaking his hands.

"You all right man?" Gauntlet asked.

"It's like sticking my finger in a socket times a hundred touching that guy! Which shouldn't happen!" Kid Flash said.

"Oh…and why not?" Cataclysm said, as he slowly got to his feet, the attacks once again having been shrugged off. Unfortunately for Bart Allen, the magic powers in Cataclysm's command ensured he couldn't shrug off Cataclysm's own electricity. "Should a giant really take note of an insect?"

"Who the hell ARE you? Why are you attacking us!" Blue Beetle yelled, his arm forming another cannon.

"You should know."

"I don't! I don't have a clue WHO you are!"

"I am Cataclysm."

"I've never heard of you!"

"My name is need. My name in deed. Indeed."

"…what?"

"Ah child…this is the inevitability you face." Cataclysm said. "All you've done…is stand tall. And that which stands tall, may one day feel the lightning."

Blue Beetle stared…as yellow energy reached out and seized Cataclysm's form.

"Forget him Beetle! He's one of those idiots who thinks speaking cryptic nonsense makes him sound cool! BLAST HIM!" Gauntlet said. Blue Beetle did so, his cannon sucking moisture out of the air (the normally arid desert swimming in it from the storm clouds above) and firing a stream of concentrated water at the entity.

"Hmmmm." Cataclysm said.

The liquid struck him as Gauntlet got the hell out of dodge, electrical power crackling out of control on the entity, as he briefly thrashed about, his spear falling…

And stopping.

Cataclysm held out his hand, and the spear flew back into it.

"Be wary of throwing water on a live wire!" Cataclysm said, as he thrust the spear up. _"ZIBELTHIURDOS!"_

The blast of lightning from the clouds above could never have been mustered by nature: it was too large, too concentrated, too intense, less then a bolt and more like a waterfall of lightning.

But Cataclysm did not control electricity. He COMMANDED electricity, and it obeyed him no matter the order, as the Titans got a first hand look at what had struck down the Posse.

Unlike them, Cataclysm did not hold back.

When it was done, the rock face was burned black, and the Titans lay scattered once more.

"I am not a robot. You cannot short circuit me." Cataclysm said, twisting his neck once more in the manner of cracking joints he didn't actually have. "Such tired tactical thinking. Perhaps I should have burned down your city. It might have motivated you enough to…"

And a sonic boom sounded in Cataclysm's ears. He turned to the noise.

"Oh."

Supergirl's punch knocked Cataclysm nearly a mile away.

* * *

As the car exploded, and Robin bent over backwards, feeling the heat of the flaming vehicle on his skin as it just missed him, crashing down on the street as Robin briefly lost his balance, pirouetted in mid-fall, and stuck a hand under himself to further spin himself around and regain his balance, narrowing his eyes at Krampus.

"STOP DODGING! BURN!" Krampus yelled, in a tone that was almost a squeal, as he hurled more fireballs at Robin. Robin fired off his own grapple and swung out of the way, as Flamebird swung in front of Krampus and let him have it with a full-bore blast of her flare lenses, the repeated squealing noise of Krampus' reaction indicating it had had some effect. Though considering the assessment that Krampus seemed to be using a rare magic/science combination, Robin doubted it would last long.

And then a mailbox was flying through the air, propelled by Thunder's blast to slam into Krampus' shield at high speed. Robin didn't see or hear any telltale signs that this did anything but make Krampus angry, as the villain turned and fired wildly at the distant strength-catapult group. Said distance let them dodge easily and gave Robin another few precious seconds to think.

Krampus. The name came from old Pagan theology, specifically Germanic, in which Krampus was a sort of dark counterpart to their concept of Santa Claus, who would deal out punishment for naughty deeds in various fashions depending on the age and location of the story. A sort of Anti-Santa, basically. But _this _Krampus was throwing out the usual "sinner" and "blasphemer" lines in the kind of righteous (or more accurately self-righteous and delusional) fury that indicated an unfortunate type of Christian-based belief. A zealot cloaking themselves in the guise of things they would most likely loathe. It was a paradox that suggested several options: Krampus was putting on an act, or his snarling obsession with whatever aspect of his beliefs the Titans had somehow offended was greater then whatever sickness he might feel as dressing up as a pagan incubus…

Or he was an idiot who was being manipulated by someone considerably smarter and more insidious then he was. Robin was leaning towards the last one. Everything was off about Krampus. His yells and screams still sounded like he was overacting on a stage half the time, and his aim and attacks patterns were subpar. Not to mention he clearly had no real idea how to take advantage of his weapons: he could render his distance attackers powerless just by flying higher, and instead he just threw fireballs at them. If it wasn't for his shield, Robin probably could have beaten him by himself.

And the last factor. Robin recognized the distinct smell of the fireballs Krampus was throwing at him. It wasn't chemical. And he'd hung around Raven and the trouble she sometimes encountered to know the general scent of unnatural fire. Krampus was dressed as a pre-Christian devil, while yelling fundamentalist insanity…and he was using dark magic on the Titans. More specifically, he seemed to be using enchantments located in his outfit, as Robin hadn't heard him make any incantations. He was a haphazard, looneytunes mess.

What did it mean? What was the point?

An old musing came back to Robin. He _was _stuck in another game. What was worse, he didn't know who was playing it, what game it was, or even how he was supposed to play. Clearly the game master meant for him to suspect his every move, and perhaps grow paralyzed with indecision.

But as far as Robin was concerned, paralysis was for politicians. If he didn't know just what to do, he'd play it by ear.

"BURN IN HELLFIRE!"

And at the moment, what was offending Robin's ears was this piece of bleep wrecking what should have been a peaceful Christmas Eve.

The catapult-Titans hurled a car at Krampus, and as it smashed into the creature's shield and he moved to counter-attack, Robin sprinted towards him, ran up a wall, and leapt off, slashing out his staff and impaling it against the shield in turn. The shield took the blow, but Robin had expected that. He'd just keep hitting until it didn't.

"LITTLE INFIDEL!"

Ah, there was another classic insult of the so called just and pure.

They were pure something, but Robin wasn't to waste time stating the obvious. He had to get the shield, and figure out the plan…

* * *

"Nice try." Savior said, as he pulled aside the dumpster in the alleyway he'd dropped into, looking at the squat hunk of technology pressed against the wall behind it. There was no timer on the machine: Savior was almost mildly disappointed at the lack of tradition.

"I've found my device Cyborg. Initiate disarming procedure." Savior said, as he held out the communicator device. It shifted and opened up, thin tendrils reaching out and locking it to the bomb as Savior carefully placed it on the device. He stepped back, ready to get the hell out of Dodge if it looked like an explosion was imminent.

Lights blinked across the communicator, even as rapid streams of numerical data flashed across the view screen, too fast and complicated for Savior to read. He hoped Cyborg was keeping up with all the tasks that were being presented to him. A computer brain only carried you so far…

But it went the distance for Savior, as the lights blinked a few more times and then a hissing noise came from the bomb, a few wafts of smoke coming from within the machine.

"Bomb's disarmed Savior. Good job." Cyborg said, appearing on the screen on the communicator. Savior removed the device, and then, deciding not to take any chances, he ripped the bomb off the wall, climbed up to the roof, leapt up to another, higher roof, and used the bomb as a makeshift throwing hammer as he hurled it out into the bay nearby. Let the fish be concerned about it.

"Cyborg, I've had an idea. Don't talk, just listen." Savior said, wincing at how rude he came off. He was simply trying to reduce the stress Cyborg was under by not forcing him to reply. "You know those drones you'd been working on, do you still have those workable prototypes?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Something came to me…if it's not too much trouble…"

* * *

"And good night." Beast Boy said, as he watched his communicator fry the bomb's detonation mechanism. "Gah. Stupid bombs. Hate bombs."

"I thought you loved _Last Action Hero._" Terra said over the communicator.

"Not the same! What's going on with you?"

"My bomb's gone. It was easy."

"Yeah, I think the bastards decided to scrimp on this part of the plan." Hotspot said as he popped onto the view screen. "Mine's down."

"Be careful friends. I have fought many villains, and this is where some attempt to slip in the skulls of duggery." Starfire said as she also popped in. "Be prepared. We must return and assist Robin. Remember the…"

And then the screen froze and flickered.

"Guys?" Beast Boy said.

"…working?" Hotspot said, now all alone on Beast Boy's communicator view screen. "Did I press something?"

"I…don't…"

And abruptly the picture went to snow.

"What the…" Beast Boy said.

"…iends? Are you…icator trouble?" Starfire said as her image flickered and then disappeared to static once more.

"…uh oh." Beast Boy said. Maybe Starfire had been right about the skulls of duggery after all, as Beast Boy picked up his communicator and began fiddling with it, trying to get it to work again.

"Hey Cyborg? You there? Are we being jammed in the local area now? Hello? ANYONE?"

* * *

"Are you SURE you grabbed the right bottle?" Cyborg asked.

"As sure as I am that the seldom known species of ant known as the _peritonea clavata_ has a sting so painful it feels like being shot!"

"What does that have to…it does?"

"Dunno. Hey look, tech problems."

"I'd think I'd-ACK!" Cyborg yelled as he realized that his communication network had abruptly gone on the fritz. "Where the hell did this come from!"

"Nowhere good! I know this as surely as the _vespa mandarinia japonica_ bees live in Japan…!"

"Not now Adam!" Cyborg yelled, reaching up and slamming down the cover on the floating drone before turning his full attention to the banks of communicator monitors. "Bleep, this is nasty…!"

The drone flew off…and Metatron followed it, looping lazily after the small machine like a cat chasing a ball of yarn.

"…Mr. Cyborg, Mr. Kitty ran off." Melvin said.

"Yes he's weird like that. Need to concentrate Melvin, sorry!" Cyborg said, as he kept working.

"Are the Titans in trouble?"

"Not if _I _have anything to say about it."

* * *

But Cyborg's voice was not the sole one in the play.

"Final jamming algorithms implemented." Marissa said, as she finished her own typing. "Stationary devices…90 percent disabled."

And at a wave of her hand, another keyboard of hologram keyboard appeared.

"Initiating second wave."

* * *

Robin wasn't the only one who had a deep sense of unease, as Raven lowered herself down to the parked truck and reached out with her powers to lift it up, finding her bomb beneath it. She didn't even bother disarming it: she simply seized the apparatus and used her warping powers to hurl it a few dozen miles out into the Atlantic. Let the fish worry about it….why did that give her a sense of déjà vu…

That wasn't important. There was something going on here, and she still didn't know what. And it BOTHERED her. The twin disasters before the arrival of Krampus, who wielded a decent magic/technology blend, and bombs…

There was something going on here. But WHAT?

What was the POINT of it all?

Raven had no answer, and she wasn't going to let the Titans who'd been left with Krampus be alone one second longer, as she vanished back into a portal.

* * *

As Scalpel crashed down on a roof, stumbling a bit before righting himself, checking the communicator he held in one clawed hand before running several more steps and leaping off the roof, the street shaking as he crashed down it as well. Close…very close…

Ah, here it was…stuck to a fire hydrant. Rather odd place for a bomb…

"Cyborg, I have located the explosive you sent me after." Scalpel said. All he got was static. "Cyborg? Hello?"

Static.

"…strange." Scalpel said, as he glanced at the bomb and then at the communicator. Well, they had tried to make them as user-friendly as possible. "Uh…communicator…bomb disabling mode?"

"Please specify type of explosive." An electronic voice said.

"Uh…unknown?"

"Acknowledged. Please place unit on explosive." The communicator said. Scalpel did just that, backing up and taking cover behind a nearby car. He didn't wait there long: after several moments the communicator beeped loudly, sounding over a slight hissing noise that Scalpel's elongated and potent ears caught as well. He walked out and headed towards the disarmed bomb, as he plucked his communicator off.

"Amazing, what he does." Scalpel said, as he began tucking the communicator back in. "Now how am I…"

And Scalpel turned right as the projectile slammed into his chest.

If he'd had more wherewithal, as he flew off his feet, even as the fist-sized object that had struck him sank piercing claws into his chest, he would have wondered why he hadn't heard his attackers coming.

The answer was, they'd been provided with very elaborate sound bafflers.

And also a very special rifle, as the 'bullet' activated.

Scalpel's scream echoed throughout the city streets…but no one was close enough, or brave enough, to investigate.

* * *

Morgue hated being nervous. She always seemed to be nervous. When they went out on a mission, when she had to meet someone new, when she tried to alter her costume, always that slight trickle of fear. She wondered how Nigel handled it, and if it was purely learned or somehow mental as well.

Then again, her friends would probably call her foolish if she WASN'T nervous while disarming a bomb. Explosives were a tricky business (the stories Beast Boy told attested to that), and you could never be sure of anything…

But as it turned out, it had been simple. Morgue had found her bomb, tucked away in a closed convenience store (she would have to send repair money for the door she'd broken), and she'd put her communicator on it as Cyborg had told her, and it had done all the work. Relieved, Morgue pocketed it and turned to leave: she'd better get back to the fight. Her guns could…

"…tagrah!" The communicator abruptly crackled, causing Morgue to jump. She looked down at the device: had it…

"..TANCE!" It rasped. This time Sophie recognized the voice.

"Nigel? Is that you?" She said. "Nigel!"

"…ushed! I HA…KNOWN…!"

"Nigel!" Morgue said. The only reply was a sudden wailing scream, and then silence. "Nigel! Respond! Communicator, initiate contact with last known speaker!"

"Communicator offline."

"What? How did THAT happen?"

"Unknown."

A cold sweat bloomed under Sophie's mask. She knew the difference between exertion and pain. Someone had attacked Nigel. And she hadn't heard any messages from other Titans asking what was going on. Did that mean…she'd been the only one he'd tried to contact?

What did she do? Get help? Could she afford the time? Was Nigel…?

No. She wouldn't believe that.

"Trace the communicator that made the most recent contact." Morgue said.

"System in flux. Accuracy unknown."

"DO IT!"

"Acknowledged."

A moment later the same program that had led her to her bomb activated…albeit with considerably less detail. Something was bogging down the Titans' system. That fact probably wasn't good.

At the moment though, Sophie didn't care about that. She had to find Nigel.

* * *

Scalpel HATED guns. He hated them because his species had an unnatural weakness to them, he hated the way that so many people in the world seemed to believe a tool that could kill was needed to grant them self-worth, and he hated the way it took cowardly, disgusting scum, of all sentient species, and turned them into arrogant, smirking murderers who wouldn't last three seconds on a real battlefield.

And he didn't much care for bullets either.

But this wasn't a bullet. It was a deep-core sonic probe, designed to attach to whatever it was fired at and send ultrasonic force waves into the target, a potent attack that could scramble vehicles or reduce men to hamburger. To Scalpel, it felt like someone had stuck him in a bladeless blender, as the penetrating waves of force slammed into his body, making him jerk and thrash on the ground.

In the back of his mind, he vaguely realized he was still holding onto the communicator, and he tried to activate it and call for help. But in his near-helpless state, Scalpel had no idea if he'd gotten the device to work, or what band he'd gotten. He could only hope…

And hope didn't always work, as figures in white appeared over him, and one lowered the sonic-pulse weapon and fired again.

The second charge caused Scalpel's thrashing hand to crush the communicator before it finally drove him into the void of unconsciousness.

"The demon is ours. Thank the Lord." The gun-wielder said, his eyes alight in the particular madness that only a zealot could muster. "Bring him quickly! We haven't much time before this city and world burns like Sodam and Gommorah!"

In the end, it took nearly six similarly white-clad men to drag Scalpel off. That probably wouldn't have been much of a comfort to the alien though. He just couldn't catch a break.

* * *

And, finally, a break.

As the Titans East scattered, dodging the explosive charge of the Instrument, trying to regroup and mount an effective plan of attack, the crazed drug-addict slowed down, stopped, slowly turning…

And then he reached into a pouch on his side, and much to Bumblebee's shock, withdrew a handful of white powder, again, which he again snorted up, the non-ingested remains of the residue blowing away as he reared back and screamed, another eruption of terrible flame blasting from his body and driving the Titans East back.

But the fire in Bumblebee's eyes wasn't just the reflected power of her enemy.

"Déjà vu." Speedy said.

"Yeah. You know what this means?" Bumblebee said.

"Santa knows how naughty we've been on our off-hours?"

"No! That he can burn out! And we can make him do it! We can do this! WE CAN WIN!" Bumblebee said. "Speedy, Aqualad, CHILL HIM OUT!"

"Was waiting for that order." Speedy said, as he ran towards The Instrument…who blasted another roaring line of flame at the archer. He leapt to the side to dodge…as Aqualad landed near The Instrument and thrust out his arms. More pipes ripped from the walls and ground, the water surging out and flying at The Instrument…

And Speedy popped up to the side and fired off an ice arrow, as the instantaneously-freezing projectile hit the water and transformed it into a battering ram of frozen impact: Aqualad couldn't control ice, but all the force he'd put behind his water attack had transferred to its shifted state, as it slammed into the Instrument and knocked him off his feet.

The madman's scream was ambiguous: it could have been pain, anger, confusion, or some mix, but the Instrument quickly got back to his feet. The ice ram that now lay near him nearly skipped the liquid state straight to gas, as the heat poured off the Instrument's body in a fresh explosion of rage…

"_¡¿Por cuanto tiempo puedes ir?!"_

And Mas Y Menos blitzed forward, carrying a metal bar that had originally held weights. While they needed to touch each other to activate their speed, their momentum did not instantly stop any more if they separated: they kept going for another second or so.

That was all they needed, as they separated just before they struck The Instrument, each holding one end of the bar as hard as they could as they thrust it down. The metal pole struck the Instrument's ankles and flipped him over, slamming him hard onto the ground as Mas Y Menos immediately joined up again to flee his heat…

As Bumblebee flew up above The Instrument and cut loose with both stingers at maximum power, riddling the insane villain with shots, hoping she could actually…

And with another roar, the Instrument shoved himself up off the ground, and before Bumblebee knew it he was rocketing up towards her as he jumped to grab her, as she gasped and flew to the side…

And then he fired another blast of flame. She also dodged.

As it exploded behind her.

"BEE!" Speedy yelled as Bumblebee crashed to the ground, groaning, while the Instrument crashed down in turn, albeit on his feet.

"…he's gonna…pay for that." Bumblebee rasped as she tried to get up.

And the Instrument charged again.

Speedy couldn't help but wonder who was going to pay the highest when all was said and done.

Christmas. It really had become too much about cost.

* * *

Such an unanswered blow would have cost many a great deal…but Cataclysm knew how to roll with the punches, as he got up, bits of blackened glass that had once been sand falling from his form as he reached out, his spear returning to him…and Supergirl flying in to get her some more.

"Ah, the Maid of Might. I was beginning to think you'd-"

Supergirl punched Cataclysm before he could go any further, her blow's force shattering the glass traces located beneath Cataclysm from where he'd landed in the desert and rocking the electricity controller back. The same terrible retaliatory voltage that Wonder Girl and Kid Flash had been stymied by shot up Supergirl's arm…but she could handle the charge a lot better than them, as she continued to smash blows that would have shattered tanks repeatedly across Cataclysm's face. When he tried to swipe her with his spear, she knocked it away, before dodging his second counter, a kick, and then planting both her fists into the small of his back, sending him staggering away.

"Think you're hot stuff?" Supergirl said, and cut loose with a blast of heat vision, which exploded on Cataclysm and sent him stumbling further back, as she quickly closed the distance again and fired off another punch into his face, and then another. He just kept staggering, as Supergirl reared up to knock his block right off…

As Cataclysm dodged to the side…and Supergirl flew into a potent web of disabling electricity, the voltage so high even she was affected. True, it would have only lasted two seconds…

Which was long enough for Cataclysm to grab his spear and stab out, the point slamming into Supergirl as Cataclysm lifted her up and over as he smashed her into the sand and glass floor of the desert.

"Quite." Cataclysm said. _"MARDUK!"_

And even as the electrical bolt from the spear itself blasted into Supergirl, another one came down from the clouds above, striking the spear and delivering a ferocious one-two punch to the Girl of Steel that smashed her several feet into the desert floor, scraps of her cape floating up in the heavily ionized air.

"Your name…might not fit." Cataclysm said…and noticed movement.

"_Dah._ Americans…have some trouble with their titles. Sometimes think themselves better then they are." Red Star said, his English starting to slip under the pressure as the last shreds of his ruined coat fell off of him as he took another step, as he finally pulled off his shattered goggles and discarded them, his hat long gone, leaving his green bodysuit with his namesake on the chest. "Not so. Russia have problems. But never think better. Not any more."

And burning red flame engulfed Red Star's form as he called upon the full brunt of his powers.

"Now, you…have no place. _SO BURN."

* * *

_"BURN! BURN!"

Robin wondered if he was starting to break his own personal dodging records or whatnot: he rarely spent so much time on the defensive as he was doing at the moment. He couldn't blame himself, really: Krampus' shield continued to shrug off all the weapons he and his fellow vigilantes could throw at it. Bushido had even taken a shot with his sword and gotten nowhere, all while Krampus ranted the same lines over and over. When Robin figured out who was guiding the plan, he was going to kick their rear end for picking such a wooden, unpleasant personality to stick the Krampus persona on…or maybe that had been the point.

Robin's support team was equally frustrated, moreso as Krampus was starting to get the idea that maybe he should dodge their efforts.

"We should take fight to him!" Pantha said, smacking a fist into an open palm.

"No. Remember Robin's instructions? We'll just get in the way. Maybe get hurt too." Wildebeast said.

"Hey, you think it's fun to be a duck in a shooting gallery?" Jinx said, as she was taking a quick breather from all the dodging and flipping she'd had to do, even as she cursed her late-stage growth spurts that kept her from being as light on her feet as she once was.

"There must be SOMETHING we can do better." Wildebeast said, scratching his chin. "Maybe get a truck, or…"

"Brother! I have returned!" Lightning said as he dropped back down. "The explosive proved to be no challenge! Let us now destroy this evil who dared threaten us and our friends!"

"That will be difficult brother. He still possesses his ability to…seal ours." Thunder said, looking grim.

"BAH! I care not for such technicalities! I am a WARRIOR! I will make do! It is how…!"

And Jericho abruptly stepped in front of Lightning, as his eyes abruptly went midnight black.

_**CONTACT.**_

"…brother?" Thunder said, looking confused: Jericho had abruptly disappeared, and his brother had shut up in the middle of one of his speeches. Thunder wasn't sure which surprised him more.

"…sorry. I had an idea but…difficulties." Lightning said…except it wasn't Lightning speaking at all, it was Jericho inside him. "I hope he won't be too angry?"

"Anger is what my brother does best…" Thunder said regretfully.

"No matter. What idea?" Pantha asked.

"The objects you're throwing, they don't have enough impact." Lightning/Jericho said. "This body has electrical powers. Thunder, is your brother aware of the magnetic abilities careful manipulation of electricity allows?"

"Brother never was one for technicalities or finer points."

"…Kole, keep making sure we don't fall in range of the power-taker." Lightning/Jericho said, as Kole nodded. "The rest of you, bring me all the metal you can find and hope my aspirations can keep up with my improvisations."

* * *

Improvise.

For all the Titans had, and were continuing to teach her, none of them had been ambivalent about a core concept of heroing: there would come a time that no lesson or preparation could aid them in. They'd have to go with their gut. Even Batman, who practically (maybe literally, if some of the stories she'd heard about him were true) thought of everything, had found times where he'd had to wing it.

What they hadn't mentioned, yet anyway, was how a situation where you had to improvise could hold a terrible sword over you. Nothing haunted you more if you had no other choice but to make it up as you went along, and it didn't work. All the logic and reasoning in the world were nothing against the irrational guilt of a failure of circumstance.

Improvise. What a loaded word.

That was definitely Morgue's thought as she realized that she couldn't raise anyone on her communicator. At all. It wasn't just Scalpel's device which was offline (the reason of which became very clear when she found its shattered remains on the street her own had traced it to), it was EVERYONE's…and something had happened during the process. To Scalpel. The faint traces of Blacktrinian blood on the ground told the whole story.

He'd been taken. Somewhere, by someone, for some reason…and Morgue was on her own, as she stared at the faint traces of where her alien boyfriend had used to be.

What did she do? She knew little in the way of tracking. Robin and Beast Boy had been planning to give her some lessons, but there was so much to teach in the hero business, and the Titans only had so much time…

She couldn't call for help…

She couldn't go looking for another Titan, who knew what would happen to Nigel in the meantime…

What did she DO?

She'd always had a fair head on her shoulders (Terra would say it was the side effect of her head being as fat as the rest of her…the bottle-blonde bitch), why couldn't it come up with a plan? Even if there was some chance…

…Chance…

The probability power. Raven had said she'd taken a smidgeon of Sabotage's abilities, but that due to it being accidental and the exact method being unknown, all she could do was cause odd things to happen…but Raven hadn't said she couldn't _TRY_ and make the power work for her.

All she needed was an idea. An inkling of what to do. A slight blessing of fortune. She'd take anything she could get, as she concentrated. Come on, do something. Anything.

She couldn't leave Nigel to whatever had taken him…even if she had to go rescue him all on her own…

* * *

Robin flipped backwards and crouched low, his breath hissing through his nostrils.

This was getting ridiculous, and he was starting to tire. Krampus, on the other hand, didn't seem to be running out of fireballs or the desire to roast him with them. Robin didn't know how the energy levels of his companions were holding up, but they were likely starting to run out of gas as well.

What was the point of this? If this was a distraction, Cyborg would have surely noticed something on the massive amounts of alarms he had scattered around Jump. They'd been through enough to recognize a potential feint when they saw it. But Cyborg had been silent.

What was going on…

* * *

Mal Duncan was an inquisitive type. One had to be, to build a dimensional-traversing tool in the shape of a horn.

And when his communicator had disabled the bomb he'd found far quicker than he'd expected, he'd grown curious and taken a few extra seconds to open up the now-harmless device and check its innards.

He'd found two things.

A bunch of fried machinery far beyond what the communicator should have done to stop the bomb.

And…virtually no explosive. There was a little, but _so _little the bomb probably would have had the exploding force of a large firecracker, if that. Either the bomb maker was a complete idiot…

…or it really wasn't meant to be a bomb at all.

"Hey, Cyborg! Anyone? Hello?" Herald said into his communicator. "Is anyone there? I think we've been had!"

* * *

"Come on! I built you better than this!" Cyborg cursed as he rapidly worked at the main computer banks, trying to get around whoever was jamming his communication network, and by extension, his entire setup (Mental note: don't make the communicators such a vital part of the overall design when it came time for the next upgrade). He hoped he wasn't cursing too much in front of Melvin, Timmy, and Teether, but it was frustrating…

"THERE." Cyborg said, as he managed to bring the system back online…

As new alarms began rapidly sounding off.

"NOW WHAT?" Cyborg cursed, as he typed rapidly to clarify the threat…

And his mouth went dry.

"…oh dear god."

* * *

"This is RIDICULOUS!" Spoiler cursed, as her latest stun pellets were deflected by Krampus' shield once more. She was on the verge of ripping off her utility belt, lighting it on fire, and seeing if that was any more effective. No wonder Robin hung out with the Titans so much: actual powers could be immensely useful in a situation like this…

And speaking of which, where the heck was her…

"What are you DOING?" Spoiler said, as she swung down to where Gnarrk, Pantha, Thunder, and Wildebeast were just standing around…as Lightning held out his arms, sparks shooting from his face as he tried to modify his innate electrical powers into electromagnetism and compress the several cars, light posts, and whatever else the catapult Titans had found into as tightly crushed a mass as possible.

"We're going to mash this together, then throw it at him!" Wildebeast replied.

"Brother and guest remember this trick tried on evil Superboy. Can't throw as much at this enemy…hoping this will do." Thunder said…as Lightning lowered his arms, gasping.

"Sorry…best I can do…and…"

And in a flash of light, Jericho was outside Lightning again, as he fell to his knees, breathing heavily.

"…do not do that again!" Lightning said crossly.

"Save it brother! You must aid in the lifting!" Thunder said, as he and the three other Titans struggled to heft up the mass Lightning/Jericho had made. Considering their combined strength, that really said something about how heavy the makeshift mortar was.

And Lightning's own strength didn't tip the balance. Even Spoiler and Kole ran over to try and lend their efforts, but even all of them working together couldn't lift the fused metal chunk…

Until black energy encased it.

"Need a hand?" Raven asked.

* * *

"YOU WILL DIE! YOU WILL ALL DIE!" Krampus yelled.

"Look just…shut up. Please." Robin said. "I…"

"Robin DUCK!" Flamebird yelled. Fortunately, Robin's mental exhaustion with dealing with Krampus hadn't slowed his reflexes, as he did so.

And the metal projectile flew over him, smashing into Krampus and finally having an effect as the zealot fell from the sky with a scream, crashing down into another flaming wreck of a car as Robin sprang back up to his feet. A moment later, Flamebird joined him.

"…you know, I can understand villains being dangerous, or frightening, or pointless…but I never expected them to be _tiresome_." Flamebird said.

"Welcome to our world. Check your expectations at the door." Robin replied. "Let's go see…"

"ROBIN!" Cyborg yelled over Robin's communicator, having finally re-established his network. "WE HAVE A NEW PROBLEM!"

"What, more bombs?"

"No…worse."

* * *

"…kids, go to the safe room." Cyborg said to the three children nearby.

"But Mr. Cyborg…"

"Don't argue! DO IT! PLEASE!" Cyborg yelled, as he turned back to the radar in front of him…as dozens of objects bleeped on it as they approached Jump City. Whoever was doing this had even more firepower then they'd thought.

They'd launched a plethora of missiles at Jump City.

* * *

And with all but the last of her tasks done, Marissa Mori sat back to watch, her eyes betraying nothing but clinical curiosity.

* * *

"DAMMIT! FALL DOWN! FALL-DOWN!" Speedy yelled as he fired arrow after arrow at the charging Instrument. "THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! OKAY THIS IS REALLY YOUR LAST-OH I GIVE UP!" Speedy cursed as he grabbed up Bumblebee and leapt out of the way…

As The Instrument stopped on a dime and twisted, firing an explosive blast of fire that caught the pair and hurled them into a wall. As they collapsed, another burst of water hit The Instrument, but he was only knocked to the side a few feet before he turned and lashed his arm at Aqualad, a series of explosions ripping up the ground and destroying The Atlantean's pipes as he was knocked on his rear end.

"_Hubieramos pedido un sobrepago…" _Mas Y Menos said, as the Instrument turned towards them_. "¡O QUIZÁ UN TANQUE!"

* * *

_The giant spear clattered to the ground as Cataclysm slid back, ducking beneath Red Star's slashing punch and countering with a spray of electricity from his fingers. Red Star powered through, lunging out with both hands. Cataclysm met his attack with his own, as the two locked fingers and slammed against each other, each trying to overpower their enemy as burning atomic energy and thrashing electricity turned the area around them into more black glass.

"Your stubbornness…is almost to be admired!" Red Star spat.

"I'm…more then stubborn!" Cataclysm retorted. "You should really…MIND YOUR SURROUNDINGS!"

And Cataclysm's spear returned to him…by impaling itself in Red Star's back. Red Star bellowed, but tried to fight through the pain: he was getting somewhere, his energy manipulation abilities were starting to disrupt the electrical-based form Cataclysm seemed to possess…

But the flesh betrayed the spirit, as the increasing pain caused Red Star to falter…and Cataclysm blew him away, sending him bouncing across the desert floor.

"Close, but horseshoes and hand grenades." Cataclysm said.

And then a low, fierce _WHUMP!_ sounded in Cataclysm's ears, and he looked up to see a literal tidal wave of sand coming down on him.

"The geokineti…?"

And then Cataclysm's words were swallowed as he was buried beneath the tons of granulated rock.

"…yikes. Nice work Jaime. You could put the Swiss out of business with that thing." Gauntlet said, as Blue Beetle recalled the "earth distorter" cannon his Scarab had offered him, hoping that maybe enough weight on Cataclysm's shoulders would snuff him out.

"Best not to put world-depopulation super weapons on track to mass-production." Blue Beetle said.

As a blast of lightning flew from the sky and struck the ground before the pair, as Cataclysm ripped himself free of his grave.

"You may want to reconsider." Cataclysm said, pointing his spear at them.

* * *

"…everyone! New problem! We have incoming trajectiles!" Robin yelled into his communicator.

"We have WHAT?" Argent replied.

"MISSILES! Coming from the bay! Everyone who can, move to intercept! Hurry! We don't have…"

"DAMN YOU BOY!" Krampus screamed as he suddenly exploded back up, his arms awash in flame. "BURN IN HELL!"

"Oh bleep, still this guy too? Damn!" Robin said as he dodged the fire blast (he'd evolved to concentrated spears of fire, damn again). What the hell kind of game was this? What was the POINT of it all?

* * *

The irony was, if Robin had truly known the ultimate reason all the events his extended team was experiencing had been put in motion, he would have been even angrier.

Because for Ezekial Pure, aka Edward Porra, it had all been about money.

Edward had been born to a shoemaker father and a secretary mother. Rather then be born with the hard-working and sacrificial traits his parents had, Edward had been born with a silver tongue, a skilled ability to read people…and the sort of lazy amorality that motivated con men throughout history. Edward didn't care for a long, difficult grind of a life, like his parents lived to raise him and which caused them to end up with nothing when all was said and done. Edward wanted more, as much as he could get, as fast as he could get it. The rest was hassles and pointless stupidity.

The defining moment in Edward's life was when, at the age of ten, his mother, a woman of quiet faith, had taken Edward to a more 'charismatic' Church after her old one had closed and she had been looking for a new one. There, Edward had witnessed multiple people falling and babbling, which according to the priest meant "the holy spirit" was passing through them. It had terrified him at the time, the way they'd fallen over and started spitting nonsense, but later in life, Edward had understood something from it. These people hadn't done that to themselves, so to speak: you didn't see people getting possessed by the 'Holy Spirit' in grocery stores or bowling alleys (and if you did, people usually called them 'seizures'). It only happened in the Church, at the direction of the men in charge as they went about their spiel. Whether they were tricked into it, or the priest's words actually did somehow cause them to open themselves up to a higher power, Edward didn't care. Instead, he'd seen how the right man in the right place with the right words could make a bunch of sheep do whatever he wanted.

Ironically, dropping out of college, studying religion and psychology, and working a series of odd jobs to make ends meet might have been more work to Edward then using his skills to make an honest living might have, but people with tunnel vision for how they wanted to live life were remarkably good at not noticing these things. Edward had learned in time, to him, that virtually all people who turned to religion did so because they were either tired or scared. The words and meanings behind the beliefs and scriptures were just a means to an end, to take a burden off themselves. And to get rid of that burden, Edward discovered, people would gladly pay. And pay through the nose.

And so, his name now changed to Ezekial Pure, Edward had started relieving people. It had taken some time, but Edward was very good at talking, and charisma had inspired people to do worse things. In time, his group grew, as Edward railed about all the usual nonsense that was threatening the way of God and how the world was out to get them, and that only he, Ezekial Pure, could keep them safe. And how part of that safety would requite their money. Some saw through his charade and left, but they weren't very many. Thinking was hard. Following was easy.

Unfortunately, like many men before him, Edward overestimated himself. He'd thought he could keep spinning his nonsense and making himself rich until he got bored enough of it to ditch all the morons who thought he was a prophet and go live the good life on a beach until he was old and gray.

He'd failed to notice his words weren't just attracting sheep. They were attracting wolves, so called 'true believers' who, unlike Edward's act, actually thought everything he said and spoke of was true. By the time Edward had started to grasp that he'd done too good a job with his scheme, the true believers had begun infecting his core group with their zealous fervor to do something about this evil, sinful world that 'Ezekial' condemned so much. Taking his junk at face value…which meant to them, that they had to do more then talk.

Edward had tried to keep ahead of the wolves, setting tasks that he deemed simply would not be possible, mixing his speeches with attempted seeds that disobeying the laws of man would displease God as much as the world did, among other things. He should have realized that by the time he'd noticed the problem, it was already too late. He'd lost hold of the wheel the second he'd attracted the true believers, even as the vehicle he'd made of his lies and manipulations started to pick up steam. The wolves had begun acting on their own, purchasing a church in Jump City (the buyer had said the location had 'come to him in a dream') and driving out 'those of lesser faith' (and those of greater sense) out of the group until only zealots like them remained. They began purchasing weapons, and asking Edward to try and see where God wanted them to strike. When Edward had brought up the laws of Man, they had replied that they had cast off those laws, as they were worthless and corrupt, and they would follow God's own words, spoken through Edward.

In desperation, Edward had tried one last gamble and said that they would have to strike at the city's superhero team, the Titans. Specifically, that the member known as Scalpel was a demon and that cleansing him from the Earth would serve God's will. Though the insane body Edward had found himself the head of had put out feelers on how to do just that, Edward expected the desire to eventually collapse. The Titans had taken apart demi-gods, what would a bunch of insane fanatics mean to them? Worst came to worst, they'd try and make a strike at the young adults thinking they could win on faith alone, and get trounced.

And then that bastard, that damn bastard, had come out of nowhere, saying he too was a believer in what Edward preached, and that he could provide the weapons and tools needed to succeed. And he'd spoken the truth, producing incredibly advanced technology that the Church of the True Sons could use to capture Scalpel. And thanks to an offhand comment Edward had made, 'his' Church had seized on the idea of doing it Christmas Eve, under the Star of Bethlehem, in which the demon's death would spur God to bring wrath instead of mercy and cleanse the world of sin and blah blah blah, Edward had run through the same spiel with minor differences so many times it had all blurred together in his head by then.

It was around then that Edward realized he'd created a monster, and he no longer had any control over it. Two of the heads of this insane group, Malachi and Isaac, had insinuated themselves as his 'left and right hands' when he'd tried to appease and direct them in a failed attempt to regain control, and he knew if he showed any signs of faltering they would slay him, believing even the slightest hesitancy would mean Satan had possessed him for being such a strong voice for God, or whatnot. He was locked into the head of this march, no longer leading his group where he wanted but being pushed along by their own insane inertia, until they finally hit a brick wall or went off a cliff.

When it had been revealed that the Titans had invited a great deal of company for the holidays, Edward had momentarily had hope. He'd gone to the provider, who called himself Mr. Dark (And his female assistant Miss Ness, how cute), and demanded he provide more equipment to deal with all of the Titans' guests, as much as was needed. Edward had been certain that Mr. Dark would balk at it, and that Edward would be able to break off the deal and shift his Church's attentions to him, saying that Mr. Dark had tried to thwart their crusade, which would hopefully buy him enough time to get the hell out of the, well, hell he'd found of his own making…

And found there was no escape as Mr. Dark agreed, and had come through, providing more gear, including a battery of undersea missile launchers and a 'obscuring costume' that Mr. Dark had said would trick and distract the Titans, while the 'technology' in the costume would also allow the wearer to strike down the sinners. While whoever wore it struck their own blow for God, the Church itself captured and sacrificed Scalpel as they had planned. With Mr. Dark's gear and tactics for separating all the Titans and leaving the demon isolated and alone, it was all but guaranteed.

Edward never understood just why Mr. Dark had agreed. Indeed, Edward's innate flaws kept him from recognizing a superior manipulator, who had seen what had happened to Edward's banal greed and decided to turn it to his own benefit. To use it as a base to construct his own plan. To gather information. And to strike at his greatest enemies.

And because Edward's trapped status had greatly amused him. So much like the rodents that made up the human race.

And so Edward, stuck between his terror of what his Church was going to do and his terror of what would happen if they decided he was no longer who they believed he was, had stood back and let it happen, somehow keeping up the masquerade of being the man with the flaming sword in the front. Hoping somewhere it would all fall apart, and he could run away.

But the Lord did not let his plans fall apart.

And in regards to the God Edward had invoked to make his life easy, he suspected that maybe he'd been too quick to dismiss the possibility he existed. And that his anger and wrath were a very real thing.

* * *

And as Scalpel began to slowly wake up, Edward found himself at the precipice he'd tried so hard (and so futilely) to avoid, white robes on his body and a curved knife on his hand, as the pack of lunatics he'd come to be the voice of yelled, screamed, and squealed in glee, so eager to start the purging of Earth. He wanted to scream, to tell them killing this creature in front of him would not purify the world. All it would do was bring the Titans and the superhero community at large down on their heads worse then any wrath from both directions of the moral spectrum: heroes LOST it whenever one of their own got killed. But he was trapped: Isaac, tall and blonde beside him, stood proudly with his own curved blade, eager to take a pound of flesh himself. Now, more then ever, if Edward hesitated, he was dead. Isaac wouldn't strike him down to seize power: he'd strike him down because he'd truly believe any sign of hesitancy on Edward's behalf was a sign of the devil and that he would have to save Edward by killing him. Torn between the unrelenting fury he knew would come his way if he did what he'd supposedly wished to do and his own survival, Edward did what most weaklings at heart did and constantly picked survival. No matter where it led.

"MY FELLOWS!" He bellowed: to the moment he opened his mouth he had no idea how he was keeping up the front so well, considering how much the truth writhed behind seemingly his every word, motion, and gaze. It really drove home that for all their claims to know the greatest truth of the world, his group now had their heads buried in the sand so deep half of them probably were observing the Earth's core spinning. "THE MOMENT WE HAVE WAITED FOR SO LONG IS HERE!"

"HALLELUJAH!" The Church of the True Sons roared in return, Isaac almost bellowing right in Edward's ear. Well, at least Malachi had been 'picked' to wear the Krampus costume and confront the Titans: that left Edward one direction to run if he finally broke.

"FOR SO MANY YEARS, THE WORKS OF THE DEVIL…!" Edward began, even as his mind drifted away: he'd given this speech so many times he could do it on autopilot. There had to be a way out. Maybe if he kept talking, something would come up…

Scalpel blinked, as he tried to get up and found he couldn't move. He was bound to the table, stripped to the waist and manacled at his wrists and ankles with metal, his head strapped down at the neck and forehead, his back against cold stone…and worse, he felt a terrible heaviness on him, a greater weight then any chain or fetter could create. He knew that feeling.

What was going on? Why was he here? Who was this stranger ranting above him, and who were the people yelling in response to his words…

"What…demon? I'm not a demon…" Scalpel said, his words slurring a bit as his head fought to right itself. What was he gesturing with…a knife…?

And the puzzle slammed into place. He was restrained and someone was waving a knife and ranting above him. He didn't need to be a genius to figure that out.

"RELEASE ME! RELEASE ME NOW!" Scalpel bellowed…and found his words swallowed by the same sound bafflers that had let Isaac and the Sons sneak up on him and take him down. Scalpel didn't notice, as he continued yelling and roaring, trying to lift his limbs or slip free or do ANYTHING, save lie there helplessly…

"IN HIS BLOOD, THEY WILL BURN! IN HIS BLOOD, THEY WILL AGONIZE! IN HIS BLOOD, THEIR SINS WILL FESTER!" Edward ranted, hoping that the sweat on his brow would be attributed to heat. He couldn't do this forever. Eventually he'd have to stab. How could he escape this…what kind of chance…

It wasn't his chance that came to bear, as his speech was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a low, thudding bang.

Edward went quiet, as did 'his' Church, as they turned away from the flame-lit altar to the double doors that led out into the more 'acceptable' parts of their compound, this inner core their secret, true space…

As Morgue staggered in, breathing heavily, as she looked around at what she'd found.

Blood. That was what had occurred to her. Vampire bats navigated via rivers: they followed the scent of the animal blood in them. And Scalpel had left a faint trace of blood. Not enough for her to follow like a paint trail, but enough for her to get a scent and track it down.

"…give him back." Morgue gasped, as she regained her breath, even as she spotted Scalpel tied to the stone table across the large room. She didn't know what was going on here, but she didn't care, as she pulled out her tranquilizer guns. "Now! I won't ask twice!"

Morgue had never heard a whole group snarl/hiss at roughly the same time. Oh lord, what had she gotten herself into.

But in the end…chance had favored her in more then one way.

As Savior stepped into the room behind her.

How lucky she'd been to run into him as she'd been hunting for Nigel. He'd quickly joined her as backup, and tried to get more aid to join them in turn…only to find that the communication system was down. He hadn't liked that fact any more then she had, but had let it go to focus on finding Scalpel…and he had.

"…all right, here's your one warning. Let him go, OR GET HURT." Savior said.

"…BROTHERS! THEY HAVE BEEN CORRUPTED BY THE DEMON! YOU MUST FREE THEM!" Edward screamed, unable to believe his luck.

"KILL THE CORRUPTED!" One of the Sons screamed.

"KILL!"

"_**KILL!"**_

And they charged in a wave at the pair.

"Bleep this." Savior said, as he popped multiple Shimmer blades. "And BLEEP YOU!"

And Savior charged as well.

As Edward ducked beneath the altar Scalpel was tied under, reached out to the device there, and turned the dial.

And Savior felt a savage numbness slam through him, as his Shimmer abruptly retreated into him and vanished. He tried to recall it, even as Sophie felt the same thing hit her.

A deep coldness seized Savior's heart. He knew that feeling.

"Another Orb?" Savior said.

And then the 'true believers' were on him.

* * *

If Malachi Whyte (once Malcolm Whitman), aka Krampus, had any sense left by the time he'd donned the empowered outfit to do battle with the Titans, it had been long lost by now. He'd been told this costume, while evil in visage, had been blessed with great holy power that would smite his enemies with ease. Considering Malachi's mind was so screwed up he wouldn't know true holiness from a hole in the ground, it wasn't surprising he'd believed it…and that fact, combined with the one that power, holy or not, did not equal skill, had driven him into a frenzy much like his 'brother distractor' The Instrument: his enemies were not perishing, in fact they were avoiding him with seeming ease. They must have sold their souls to the demon within their ranks to gain such power! He would send them all to the pit for it!

"BURN! BURN!" Malachi/Krampus yelled, as he fired more blasts of piercing flame at his enemies, Robin losing a piece of cape dodging them as he cartwheeled and flipped to his feet.

"Thunder, Jinx, go join the missile repulsion effort! GO! GO!" Robin ordered. "As for the rest of you…"

And Robin spun up his staff and hurled it at Krampus, the weapon knocking him backwards as the shield flickered. So the protection was still there…but lessened: Krampus was now feeling the impacts in some senses. And more important, he was so mad that he hadn't flown back up and increased the range of his Orb-type power negation.

"Attack! We can break the shield! TITANS GO!"

"BASTARD SINNERS!" Krampus screamed, firing more blasts of fire…as Bushido zipped past him, slashing a line across the sphere of protection. A moment later Flamebird hurled an explosive bolo into the shield, followed by Wildebeast charging in: his strength was negated by the blocker at close range but not his momentum, as he shoulder-rammed Krampus as hard as he could, the impact knocking him backwards several steps. Krampus emitted another squeal and counter-attacked…as a black hand seized Wildebeast and pulled him away.

"Raven?" Robin said as the sorceress floated down. "You'll be needed on the missiles!"

"They don't need me. You do." Raven said, as her eyes glowed black. She didn't know how long Krampus would take to clue in he needed to fly up to extend his range of his power-sealer, but she was going to do as much damage as she could while she could. "All right little crusader. Let's go."

* * *

"Oh geez, it's Kobra all over again." Beast Boy said on the building where he was standing, as the missiles began closing in on the T-Tower and the city beyond it.

"Not even CLOSE." Cyborg said, his voice coming from all the 'beachfront' Titans' communicators as parts of the computer banks opened up and Cyborg jammed his hands in them, as he personally connected himself with the defensive systems. "I'll take out as many as I can! You guys handle what I miss!"

"Roger!" Came a dozen voices in rough unison.

"…oh, I always wanted to use this line." Cyborg said, as parts of the Tower and island opened up, exposing multiple guns. "You think you can catch me with my pants down? Nice try, because _I AM NOW WEARING THIS BUILDING."_

"…that line SUCKS." Hotspot said.

"Damn it, Irons made it sound cool!" Cyborg said, as a targeting system appeared in front of him. "Let's dance."

And the guns blazed, and the missiles aimed for T-Tower exploded in a fireball in mid-air, but even as the guns focused fire on its initial targets a dozen more streaked past, aiming for the buildings and homes of Jump City…

Instead, they met green energy. And rocks. And crimson energy. And fireballs. And lightning bolts. And a portal in mid air. And more, as the Titans made a stand on the edge of Jump City and furiously fought to protect their home, and the innocent lives beyond.

* * *

The Instrument charged at Mas Y Menos…

And twin sting-blasts caught him on the side of his head.

"Hey, what gives? You think I'm done?!" Bumblebee rasped, though her unsteady stance did not mirror the strength of her tone. "I'm not done…I've barely gotten started…!"

"RAAAUUUGGGHHH!" The Instrument bellowed, as he fired a blast at her. Bumblebee jerked to the side, circle-strafing around The Instrument as she blasted him again and again, her fingers squeezing the triggers so hard they'd begun to bleed…

As the Instrument bellowed once more, and slammed his fists into the ground.

And fire exploded from beneath Bumblebee, engulfing her and sending her flying with a scream, as she hit the ground on fire, the snow barely snuffing her out as she bounced across the prison ground a few times.

"_¡L__Í__DER!"_ Mas Y Menos said, as they ran to Bumblebee's side.

"Gonna…feed him…his own testicles…" Bumblebee hissed.

The Instrument bellowed once more, the twin's eyes snapping up to face it…

As water drenched the out of control villain.

Followed a second later by twin taser arrows.

_ZART!_

The electricity racked the body of the Instrument, but the sheer heat he was putting out negated the attack far quicker then it normally would, the burning arrows falling off of the villain's form as he hunched over, breathing heavily.

"Jesus Christ, nothing works." Speedy said, wiping blood from a cut forehead from his mask. "He's going to kill us all."

* * *

"OH COME ON! QUIT GOD-MODDING!" Gauntlet yelled.

"Either do what you have to, or Jupiter will feast on your blood." Cataclysm said, pointing the spear at them. "This ends with mine, or yours."

"Or Plan B! NOW!" Gauntlet yelled.

And a sudden sandstorm came out of nowhere, as Kid Flash sprinted and blazed around Cataclysm, manipulating the winds to whip up a flesh-scouring dust storm within seconds, all visibility suddenly reduced to a foot as the wind howled around the enemy.

"…cute, cute." Cataclysm said.

Wonder Girl's punch came from the side, smashing into Cataclysm's face and knocking him back a step…as he took several more steps and blasted at her with lightning from his fingertips.

As she held up her wrists and deflected them off her metal bracelets.

"Took these off. Didn't throw them away." Wonder Girl said, and bashed Cataclysm in the face with another punch.

"This was a brilliant idea…when I had it a minute ago! Ow, ow!" Gauntlet said, trying to use his Gauntlet power to protect himself from the stinging sand. "Why'd I have to get the A-Ranked foe right out the bat. Stupid thunder god powers…thunder…OF COURSE! We're doing this all wrong! WE MUST SEND ELONGATED LAD TO FIGHT HIM!"

"…I don't think there is an Elongated Lad." Blue Beetle said, who was still standing next to Gauntlet.

"Elastic Kid then!"

"…no there too I think."

"Rubber Boy!"

"…nope."

"…Luffyfan34?"

"Huh?"

"You gotta be kidding. Countless teenage superheroes, and not a single one of us has elasticity powers? What, do elastic superheroes have no need for sidekicks? Even Blue DEVIL has a sidekick! BLUE. DEVIL. They don't warrant a sidekick but Blue Devil does? Do you know what that says about them? They rank lower on the hero list than BLUE DEVIL…!"

"There's something up there." Blue Beetle said, looking up into the sky.

"What?"

"He's throwing so much chaotic energy I didn't pinpoint it before…but there's something up there. In the clouds. I finally detected it when he bashed Supergirl into the ground." Blue Beetle said.

Wonder Girl smashed Cataclysm with another punch…as he whirled his spear around, trying to slash her. She bashed the weapon away with an axe-hammer bracelet shot, and then swung her fists back to give him a traditional axe-handle shot.

"Clever girl…" Cataclysm said. _"HORAGALLES!"_

And the ground BENEATH Wonder Girl abruptly lit up, but all Cassandra Sandsmark could do was look down before the electrical fury erupted from beneath her, transfixing her in brilliant white before she was blasted away with a cry.

"Not clever enough." Cataclysm said, as he raised his spear once more. "Going to hide from me? As you will. _PARJANYA!__"_

And a mass of electrical blasts erupted from the spear and began striking out across the desert all around Cataclysm, moving in random patterns that Gauntlet and Blue Beetle barely managed to dodge.

"Something in the clouds?"

"Yes. Some sort of power…focus…maker…thing…my god, how did I not see this before? It's throwing out insane amounts of energy! It's probably where he's getting most of his strength, if not all!"

"So…uh…what, Fastball Special?"

"No." Supergirl said, as she clamped a hand down on Blue Beetle's shoulder. "This object…where is it?"

"Well if I…"

"JUST POINT."

"…roughly that way." Blue Beetle said, pointing.

"Thank you. Save your energy. THIS ONE IS MINE!" Supergirl yelled, as she shot into the sky…

And a gigantic lightning bolt fired at her, striking her before she could dodge and sending her back to earth in a gigantic eruption of sand in the distance, as the electricity actually defied its own nature and forced her across the ground several meters before stopping, leaving Supergirl lying limp on the ground.

"How like you heroes."

Gauntlet and Blue Beetle turned to see Cataclysm standing nearby, his spear over his shoulder.

"Charging in, never thinking. No wonder you're all going to die."

"Says the filler villain." Blue Beetle said.

"Henh. How funny. I wonder how well your humor will serve you when someone finally rips that Scarab out of your spine." Cataclysm said. "That's the inevitable, you know. You…"

"OH CRAM IT WITH WALNUTS!" Gauntlet yelled as he charged at Cataclysm, smashing his Gauntlet energy into his face and knocking him off his feet again…before Gauntlet grabbed him and began slamming him into the ground. "Why is it that every single douchebag who gets his hand on the Shining Spit of Sarsaparilla or whatever thinks that entitles him to spout off philosophy on how he's so damn great and we suck so damn much, especially considering we're getting into the 20's with stories while WE'VE NEVER HEARD OF YOU!" Gauntlet roared, as he smashed Cataclysm into the ground as hard as he could, yanking his spear away and crushing it in his grip.

For a moment, Cataclysm lay there…and then bonelessly and armlessly slid upwards into a vertical stance, his form shifting a bit before fully gelling.

"All good things must come to an end."

"…NOT TODAY!" Gauntlet yelled, as he charged in again.

"Oh look, the assigned leader. Doing so well at that too. How much pain have your friends suffered…"

"JUST SHUT UP!" Gauntlet yelled as he slashed an energy sword at Cataclysm, who actually deemed it worthy to dodge.

"Fine then. I'll put it simply. You're a fool, and you're going to die…"

"I SAID SHUT…!" Gauntlet yelled as he leapt in.

"Because I am the embodiment of the heavens…!"

And right into a crackling electrical sphere, seizing Gauntlet in burning power.

"And you are a sack of meat with a glorified oven mitt! _XOLOTL-JASSO!_" Cataclysm said, as he lashed out and kicked Gauntlet into the sky…

As he slammed into the concealed Miss Martian, who had been in the air above, intangible and directing her allies with her telepathy. Unfortunately, intangibility didn't work very well against magical electricity, as the two forms exploded into a thrashing eruption of voltage and fell to the ground in a heap.

"So get lost, little boy."

"Little you say?"

And another humming caught Cataclysm's ears, as he turned towards the Blue Beetle…and a damn good replica of Trigun's Angel Arm.

"I got one. Specifically, SAY HELLO TO MY _LEETLE FRIEND!"_

And Blue Beetle fired, a piercing beam that struck Cataclysm dead center.

The explosion blasted a hundred square foot, three foot deep crater into the desert floor, and finally blew out the sandstorm Kid Flash had whipped up, the speedster teen checking on his fallen teammates at the moment. It also sent Blue Beetle tumbling end over end for nearly twice that distance before he stopped himself.

"Shoulda…braced…better…" Blue Beetle said as he flew back over to the crater. "Geez…when you said 'Instant Deforestation', you weren't…"

And then electrical blasts crackled up from the crater, and a moment later Cataclym rose up, not a hair out of place…save one, hanging over his forehead, which he blew back into place with a quick burst of static.

"Not enough gun." Cataclysm said.

* * *

"Damn it all! No! Christmas Eve isn't ruined yet! We're going to break all these bleeping things, then go break Krampus, and then go home and have TURKEY…! Or maybe HAM…!" Terra cursed, as she hurled rocks at the missiles that came near her, the sky filled with energy and force blasts trying to take down all the encroaching projectiles.

* * *

"LITTLE WITCH!" Krampus screamed, as he matched a fire lance blast against Raven's own blast of black power, as she struggled to keep him on the ground and from enveloping her in his power-blocking field, even as Robin and the others worked furiously to break his protection…

* * *

And Morgue laid into Savior's attackers with her tranquilizer guns, dropping several of them before they could properly dog pile Savior. Her ammo in one gun quickly ran dry: she dropped it, whipped out her combat baton, and bashed one of the Sons who was attacking her across the face. She felt the same fear Savior did: they'd been lured into a trap. Their powers had been stripped from them again. And they were facing dozens of angry, merciless opponents.

And as Savior yanked himself out from the clutches and smashed the nearest Son with his fist, he realized he didn't much care. Scalpel was in danger, and a group of insane fools wanted him dead. Powers or no powers, HE WAS GOING DOWN SWINGING…!

"KILL THEM! KILL THEM!" Edward screamed, as the two Titans entered the battle of their lives.

* * *

The Instrument crouched over, his breathing ragged…as more energy arrows and stinger blasts slammed into him. Bellowing in rage, the Instrument set off another fire-blast attack with himself as its core, blasting his attackers away before he crouched over again, his breath ripping through his lungs. More…more…he clawed for his belt and extracted the package…

And then Mas Y Menos was there, seizing it.

"_DRUGS ARE BAD!"_

And they pulled at the package with all their might…as The Instrument screamed and pulled back, as terrible heat exploded anew off his form and blasted away the brave twins, even as they tore the package open, the white contents spilling out. The Instrument bellowed in mindless rage, grabbing at the powder as it fell and scooping it to his face…

"Oh no, here we go again." Speedy said.

"…_LIMPIEZA, JODIDO__!"_

And the Instrument inhaled the powder.

There was a half a second pause.

And then he starting screaming again, but there was no anger or madness in it this time. Just pain, terrible pain, as The Instrument clawed at his face and screamed so loud Speedy thought he might dislocate his jaw.

"What the…!"

"They did it!" Bumblebee said as she flew down.

"Huh? I thought…!"

"That was a feint! They didn't try and steal his wonder drug, they swapped it with dishwashing detergent!"

"What? Do we win then?"

"RAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH…..!!!!!!!!!!" The Instrument bellowed in agony, as fires began exploding all around him.

"Not until he's down. And that's my turn." Bumblebee said. "…we had some good times didn't we."

"What do you…"

And Bumblebee zapped at The Instrument, as she began to shrink down.

"Karen what are you…!" Speedy said, and then his archer's eyes recognized her trajectory. "ARE YOU _CRAZY…!_"

And Bumblebee shrank down more and more as she closed in, hitting her maximum small size…and pushing herself beyond it as she shrank down to a mere half inch, the strain exploding through her body…

As she flew into The Instrument's wide open screaming mouth, entering a damp, rancid hell…as she whirled around, aimed her stingers, and fired every bit of juice she had left into the roof of the Instrument's mouth, bypassing his metahuman talents and skull to zap him right in the brain.

The screaming stopped.

And Bumblebee tumbled out of the Instrument's mouth, rapidly growing back as she hit the ground limp, Mas Y Menos yanking her away and back to Speedy and Aqualad, as the Instrument staggered back a step…

And then, his eyes rolling up in the back of his head, collapsed onto his face. He'd finally come down from the ultimate high. He wouldn't be going anywhere else this Christmas. And quite possibly for a lot more holidays to come.

"…heh…heh heh…I was afraid a bee would fly into my ears and sting me when I was a little girl…but I couldn't shrink that much, so I made do." Bumblebee coughed.

"Are you all right girl?"

"Been…better." Bumblebee said. "Been worse. Better then him."

"…whew. That was one for the books." Aqualad said, finally letting the tension drain from him, as the twins grabbed each other and danced, yelling their victory.

"…hey wait a minute. They said something in English." Speedy said.

"I know. Only phrase they know. Weird, isn't it." Bumblebee said. "Weird…weird."

* * *

The Sons may have had numbers, and they might have been crazy, but they didn't know how to fight.

And more importantly, they didn't know how to fight as dirty as Savior did, as he lashed out with a clawing hand and raked one across the eyes, pushing him away with a scream as he punched another one in the throat, before ducking another baseball bat swing and kicking a forth in the balls…as a fifth attacker slammed a tire iron into the side of Savior's leg and sent him falling to the ground with a yell of pain, the attacker swinging the tire iron back up for another shot…and Sophie buried a tranquilizer in the back of his neck, before she whirled and judo grabbed and threw another attacker to the ground. Savior grabbed the tire iron as it dropped nearby and bashed it across another Son's head.

But more came.

"Bleeping BLEEPS! Your mothers bleep bleeps IN HELL!" Savior yelled, drawing more of the insane cultists to him. To Edward, Savior's actions were completely incomprehensible: why make the former members of his con angry? To Savior, they made perfect sense: he had more training and experience, so he had to draw more targets to him. And he got his wish, as he knocked the knife out of another Son's hand and then kicked him in the testicles as well.

"They cannot last much longer Brother Ezekial." Isaac suddenly said: Edward hoped his 'right hand' didn't see him start. "Shall we drag them up here to sacrifice with the demon?"

"We…"

"Ah but of course. No reason to delay. Slay the evil one, Brother Ezekial. Let the Lord our God know it is time!"

* * *

"SINNERS! _SINNERS!_" Krampus shrieked, as he fired two more fireballs at the ground Titans, who dodged aside…as Pantha seized Krampus from behind and tried to crush his shield. Another shriek from the crazy zealot caused a pulse of energy to blow Pantha away…as Batgirl swung in with a kick and bashed it against the shield, the sphere visibly bending in before it repelled her. Raven took that moment to blast Krampus again, as Batgirl made her escape on her grapple.

"YOU WILL ALL DIE! DIE IN FLAMES!"

And Krampus fired a surge of exploding fireballs.

This time, the Titans weren't so lucky, as a chip of stone from the blast slammed into Flamebird's head and knocked her senseless and fire engulfed Gnarrk, setting him ablaze.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kole screamed, as her companion thrashed in the flames.

"YES!" Krampus yelled…and then did the worst thing possible, as he flew up.

Moments later, Raven hit the ground. Powerless.

* * *

Sophie pistol-whipped another Son before shooting another one in the chest as he ran at her, not taking any chances and kicking him in the head as he fell down, even as Savior threatened to be overwhelmed again. Sophie's hand scrambled for her belt.

"POPCORN!"

And she hurled a flash bang grenade into their midst. Savior was the only one to know to hit the deck, eyes and ears covered.

The gigantic blast of noise and immense flare of light ripped through the Sons, paralyzing many as they were blinded and deafened, as Savior sprang back up and slammed two of their heads together, and then liberated a crowbar from another one and bashed a few more heads in as Sophie did the same with her combat baton.

"What is going ON?" Edward said in mock horror, his stab once again 'interrupted' by this sudden turn of events.

"This will NOT DO!" Isaac snarled, as he reached down…and pulled up the sonic disrupter. _"HERETICS…!"_

And he fired, missing Savior by a good few feet, but he didn't have to hit him, as the sonic waves pulsed out from the projectile on the floor and threw the white-haired hero to the ground.

"Savior!" Morgue said, as she ran to help…and was thrown on her rear by the same sonic waves.

A moment later more Sons crashed down on Savior's body, clawing and stabbing.

* * *

"How many missiles did they stick out there? Did they park a damn wing of Macross' on a nearby island or something!" Cyborg cursed, as he shot down the latest wave of targets, even as the Titans on the beach blew the remaining ones out of the air.

"I think you're almost in the clear Cy! I can't see much in the distance any more!" Beast Boy said, flying above the building Terra was on as a great horned owl, which had tremendous eyesight.

"Unless that's just a respite, damn it all…!"

"Mr. Cyborg!" Came another voice as Melvin popped on the screen. "Bobby says there's one more missile coming and its BIG!"

"What?"

"Bobby says…"

"I heard! How did he see a big missile!"

"He could see it easily on the roof!"

"WHY ARE YOU ON THE ROOF?"

"You said go there?"

"I said go to the safe ROOM! ROOM! YOU'RE IN DANGER! GET DOWN FROM THERE!"

"But Mr. Cyborg, Bobby has really good eyes and…"

And then fresh alarms sounded in Cyborg's command post, and he jerked his head at his radar as it appeared.

Bobby had been right. The previous missiles had all been traditional cruise missile size.

If Cyborg was looking at the readings correctly, the last one was twice the size of a Japanese bullet train.

"Son of a…!" Cyborg said: even if it was just carrying a tradition explosive payload, it was big enough to very well be carrying several BLU-82 type bombs, ie the 'Daisy Cutter' which would wreak havoc on the Tower or Jump. He couldn't let it get close!

And so Cyborg turned all his weapons onto the incoming projectile…and made one last horrific discovery.

It was shielded.

* * *

Sophie emptied her last tranquilizers into the men and women piled on Savior, but it seemingly failed to work as before, as another one attacked her with a machete and drove her back, even as the Sons continued to furiously attack the man they'd surged over…

As he pulled himself free of the mass: the tranquilizers had worked after all.

"BLEEPERS! BLEEPERS!" Savior yelled as he swung his crowbar into another enemy's head.

"Enough! ENOUGH! SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THEM!" Isaac bellowed: his own attack had been the sonic disrupter's last shot.

"Oh no, now we REALLY get to have fun…!" Savior said as he turned around and reached inside his jacket. "MORGUE!"

Morgue didn't reply, as she was too busy stomping on the head of her machete attacker, but her head jerked in his direction.

"Here! You need…!"

And another Son slammed into Savior from behind, causing what he had been tossing Sophie to fly out of his hand towards her as he went down…even as another Son attacked Sophie with an axe. She barely dodged, the axe catching on her cape as she punched her attacker in the throat, even as Savior wrestled his attacker's hair into his hand and slammed his face into the ground, as he pushed himself up and slammed a side kick into the gut of another Son…

And whirled around as a Son aimed a shotgun at Sophie.

"NO!"

The blast filled Savior's ears.

* * *

Cataclysm expected anger. He expected defiance, more empty words and threats…

"…thanks." Blue Beetle said.

Cataclysm hadn't expected that.

"Pardon?"

"I was worried this would be overdoing it." Blue Beetle said.

And he aimed his 'Beetle Arm' into the sky and fired, as Cataclysm looked up.

"YOU LITTLE…!"

A massive explosion blasted in the sky, as Cataclysm yelled and staggered, his form twisting and distorting briefly as Blue Beetle swung the arm back down and shifted a few parts.

"Now give it up, or I'll…!"

Cataclysm thrust out his fingers and sent a myriad of crackling electrical streams at the Blue Beetle, forcing him on the defensive before he could aim his arm again.

"Little insect…your intelligence should at least mirror your caution…!" Cataclysm said, as he threw up his other hand and reached up…as a gigantic black sphere, once pristine and now semi shattered, its surface and innards crackling with horrendous amounts of magical power that Cataclysm wielded, began to float down from the clouds it had been concealed in. "But if you really wish to bring the gloves off and attack Summanus directly, then…"

Miss Martian slammed into Cataclysm, and he snarled and fired more blasts of electrical energy at her, even as Gauntlet rejoined Blue Beetle below.

"You were on to something there! Shoot him again!"

"No…it's not doing enough damage. I caught him off guard that time…" Blue Beetle said.

"Then use something even BIGGER!"

"No. Better idea." Blue Beetle said. "Notice something Gauntlet? I have. He ignores all our attacks. We hit him, but it barely seems to bother him. Except for you. You're the only one of us whose attacks he actually seemed to feel."

"Yeah, I just can't hit him anywhere near hard enough. Damn. This thing's capable of so much more, but I just can't get it to _work…!"_

"Yeah, I gathered that. Still learning as you go. I've been there. Still am." Blue Beetle said. "But like you said: you can't seem to hit him hard enough."

And Blue Beetle's arm transformed into a weird pump device.

"So let's give it a tune up."

* * *

It almost seemed to happen in slow motion, as the Son aimed the gun at Sophie and fired, the pellets striking her in the side and knocking her off her feet…and then Savior was grabbing the Son's weapon, yanking the shotgun free and bashing the butt of it across the Son's face before whirling around and opening the barrel. Empty, damn it all, as Savior ran over to Sophie, smashing another Son in the face as he did so.

"MORGUE!"

"Ow…ow…" Morgue coughed, clutching her side, shredded armor poking between her gloved fingers…but there was little blood. Relief flowed through Savior: she'd been far away enough for her gear to take most of the impact. The benefits of armor…

But more Sons were attacking. Savior bashed the first one in the face, and then swung the shotgun as a club and fed another Son her own teeth, trying to keep Sophie safe while she recovered.

"Savior…" Morgue whispered.

"We don't abandon each other. No matter what. No matter WHAT!" Savior yelled, as he smashed another Son in the face…as he spied the fallen pill box he'd tried to toss to Sophie on the ground nearby. "Morgue! The pill in there! Take it!"

"Huh…?"

"It's the Miraclo! I had Cyborg swipe it from Scalpel's office and send it here via drone! I was going to bring it to Robin! TAKE IT!" Savior yelled as he kicked another attacking Son in the kneecap and then bashed his lowered face with the shotgun butt: why had the attackers slowed down, there'd been more then this. "It'll give you superhuman abilities!"

"What about the field…"

"It blocks existing powers! Not new powers! In theory! DAMN IT ALL!" Savior cursed as he bashed another attacking Son: there was definitely a slowdown, what was happening…"Come on you bleepers, plenty to go around…!"

And then the next Son stepped up.

And Savior realized why the flow of attackers had slowed.

A group had left.

To get more guns.

As the Son aimed the submachine gun at the pair.

* * *

By now, to Robin, Krampus' endlessly repeating screams had just become general noise, as he hurled another Birdarang at the lunatic: so close, so close…

"GNARRRKKK!" Kole cried, as the caveman flailed about, all aflame…as Wildebeast grabbed the nearest fire hydrant and used every single bit of strength he could muster to rip into it, sending water spraying out onto the street and putting out Gnarrk before the fire could do more damage. The caveman collapsed: his skin was tougher then the average person's, but fire rarely made any exceptions.

"Gnarrk…" Kole said, falling at her friend's side as the caveman whimpered. Spoiler looked at the injured Titan and his best friend…

"That is IT." Spoiler cursed, as she fired off her grapple and pulled herself up to the nearest high building, as Krampus turned to fire at Wildebeast. "You-are-going…!"

And Spoiler ran…and leapt off the roof.

"STRAIGHT DOWN!"

And she spun and rammed her nunchucks down as hard as she could on the top of Krampus' shield.

And the only reason she didn't get smashed back and fall to her doom on the street below was because Robin swung in and grabbed her in mid-fall.

"And this is why Bruce fired you." Robin said, even as Bushido leapt in with another slash, followed by Jericho attempting a possession…and failing, as even he was repulsed by the shield.

As Raven pushed herself along the wall behind Krampus. She'd been so close. She'd almost had all the details figured out and then Krampus had lucked out and sealed her abilities again. She knew what she had to do now…all she needed was another opening…just one more opening…

And then Krampus saw her.

"Bleep."

"YOU ARE THE WORST! YOU MUST DIE!" Krampus yelled, as he held up his hands. Unlike Robin, Raven was not a trained acrobat. That left her one option: run like hell.

And she did, as the fire blast chased after her…

And Kole stood up, having felt the tingle run through her. She was out of range. Though it might have just been anger. Anger didn't come easily to Kole, but after seeing her best friend nearly get burned to death, she was filled to bursting with it. She had to do something…but she couldn't _do_ anything, all she could do was turn into crystal and that just made her a statue and without Gnarrk she couldn't DO anything she had to use her powers use them SOMEHOW but they only worked with Gnnark but he'd been hurt and he'd trusted her and this bastard had hurt him for no reason the bastard the bastard _**the bastard…!**_

"BASTARD!" Kole exploded, as she held out her hands…and shining light surged from them and formed into a javelin of crystal.

"What the…!" Wildebeast said, as Kole spun around.

"KRAMPUS!"

And amazingly, the insane zealot actually turned at the sound of his name…as Kole hurled the crystal javelin at his head.

And while his sphere nullified powers, it didn't seem to react properly to powers that produced physical objects.

The javelin slammed into Krampus' shield…and broke through.

* * *

_What choice to make…_

Morgue was still down. Neither of them had powers. Morgue's armor had already been compromised. The attacker was too far away to reach in time or properly counterattack…

Savior's eyes flicked to Morgue and then back to his enemy in a split second.

…_no choice at all._

And Savior took a step to the left, fully supposing himself between the Son and Morgue.

"The pill." Savior said.

And then the bullets hit him.

* * *

The javelin sliced through the shield and slammed into Krampus' helmet, breaking off one of his giant horns as Krampus fell to the ground with an alarmed, angry howl.

"…since when can you do THAT?" Wildebeast said, as Kole stared, having acted in the heat of the moment.

"…since now?"

"…WHAT? WHAT!!!!!!" Krampus bellowed, the concept that his protection could actually be surpassed by the Titans having never entered, as he tried to push himself up even as he madly hurled fire everywhere, trying to kill his attacker, kill them all, KILL THEM ALL…

As Raven charged back in, her eyes black as midnight, her arm covered in a claw shape, as she lanced out her hand. She'd have to time this perfectly, to utilize her power before the shield could fully re-actualize and the power nullification could fully dispel her strength…

She felt the cold tingling in her arm as her dark energy was stripped away…

* * *

As Savior staggered back, somewhat confused that it wasn't more painful then it was. Getting lashed by Flay had hurt more then this…

But…the damage…no denying…

Armor…as best he could in his shirt…but there was only so much it could block…it had done its best…

Darkness…

Savior fell to one knee. He was vaguely aware of the feeling of blood running down his legs, and mused he was due to do laundry: he needed more clean pants…

"…pills." Savior whispered.

And as Morgue watched in horror, he collapsed to the ground, as blood slowly began to pool around him.

* * *

As Raven grabbed ahold of the other horn of Krampus' mask, even as terrible agonizing pain shot through her arm…

_I KNOW THIS TAINT…!_

And then with a defiant scream Raven ripped Krampus' mask from his body, revealing a sweaty, wild-eyed man with thinning black hair as he emitted his own echoing scream, as Raven staggered away from the man and collapsed.

"HOW DARE YOU…!"

And Raven screamed again as she lifted the mask and smashed it down on the ground, shattering it to pieces that exploded outward in a spray of black shards, the pieces slicing across her body and knocking her on her back.

"YOU DEVIL! YOU DEVIL!" Krampus/Malachi screamed, as he aimed his hands at Raven and fire belched forth: the power to burn was not in the mask…

But the nullification was.

The fire slammed into Raven's black barrier, as she slowly rose up, blood running from the cuts on her face, the heat doing nothing against the ice in her eyes.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DEVIL! DEVVVVVVVIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL!"

And Raven snapped up an arm and her black power seized Krampus' own.

"_**MAN."**_

And then she shattered the incantations laid into his costume, sending him flailing back with another squeal, as his innate sense of survival kicked in and he turned to run…

As Robin leapt and swung out with his staff.

He chose to believe why it nearly bent in half over Krampus' head was due to its constant heat exposure.

The villain hit the ground without another sound. To Robin, that was the greatest gift he could have gotten.

"…you all right Raven?" Robin said, as he knelt over the fallen villain's body to make sure he hadn't misjudged.

Raven lowered her arm, as she took a deep cleansing breath. She'd put a lot of rage into that dispelling. It was…refreshing.

Especially considering the source.

"…For the first time in some time Robin…I think things may be getting back there." Raven said.

And then she felt the fear.

* * *

Savior…

Morgue stared in horror at Savior's fallen body. So much blood…so much blood…what did she do, what did she _do…_Savior had…

But Morgue had other things to worry about: the Son who had fired at Savior as he'd shielded Morgue had jammed his gun in the process, but who knew if that would stick, and even if it did, others were coming, armed with their own guns…

What did she…

…she knew what to do.

"Yessssssssssss! They fall as they all will! God must be pleased!" Isaac said, as Edward watched in horrified fascination, having no idea what was going on any more…

As another Son pushed past the one with the jammed firearm and reached Morgue, as he swung down a club…

Morgue caught it.

"No."

And with one powerful yank, Morgue sent the Son flying through the air with a sudden terrified scream: the angle the zealot had swung from had kept him from seeing that she'd recently pulled her mask up around her nose.

He crashed down to the ground fifteen feet away, as Morgue stood back up, feeling the power surge through her. In the end, she'd honored Savior's last words.

The Miraclo had gone down easy…and started up immediately.

As the sub-machine gun armed Son finally got his weapon working again and swung it up…as Morgue barrelled into him and smashed him with her shoulder, sending him flying and crashing into several of his fellows.

"BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY!" Morgue yelled, as more of the insane zealots charged at her…

And she bashed her way through them like they were toys. Miraclo's name was apt. She felt like she could take on every single villain the Titans had and have enough left to stop a prison riot, as she grabbed one up and tossed them across the room like they weighed nothing.

Edward stood there, frozen in terror at this sudden change.

The Son crashed down against the altar Scalpel was still strapped to. He would have made his presence known to the incident that was happening around him a lot more if the sound baffler and the power nullification hadn't rendered him motionless and essentially mute. Not to mention the fact that his binds kept him from even turning his head.

But he could still hear.

And when the Son hit the altar and bounced off, Scalpel acted in the only way he could: he turned his gaze up to 'Brother Ezekial' as he had been called and fixed him with the best confident glare he could muster. He didn't know just what was happening or what might yet happen, but he could fake that fact.

Against a true opponent, the look would have been seen through or dismissed in a second.

For Edward, it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"…BROTHER EZEKIAL!" Isaac yelled, as Edward turned and ran, his ceremonial knife clattering on the altar as he fled. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE…YOU!"

Scalpel's gaze switched to Isaac, as he turned back towards Scalpel with fury in his eyes, as he snatched up Edward's discarded knife.

"YOU DID THIS! YOU INFESTED HIM WITH YOUR EVIL JUST LIKE THOSE WHO OPPOSE US! BUT YOU WILL NOT STOP ME! YOU WILL DIE, AND BEGIN THIS WORLD'S CLEANSING…!" Isaac yelled, as he thrust the knife up…

* * *

"_XEVISIO!"_

Miss Martian slammed into a nearby bluff as Cataclysm blasted her with another powerful lightning attack, and once again began to float up as his sphere of power, the Summanus, floated back down, its damaged state still evident in the power surging from the cracks in it…

As Wonder Girl flew up once more, her fists cocked and her eyes defiant.

"Want more then, child?" Cataclysm said, as he raised his hand again…

As Red Star wrapped his own arm up and around Cataclysm's, yanking up his other arm in a full nelson as Wonder Girl smashed her fist across Cataclysm's unguarded face.

"Well, look who's finally lowered themselves enough to-!" Cataclysm said as Wonder Girl punched him again, and again, as Red Star ignored the electrical energy pouring off Cataclysm's body as he fought to maintain his hold…

And forgot about Summanus, as another electrical blast flew off it and slammed into Red Star's back, loosening his grip enough for Cataclysm to flip forward and hurl Red Star into Wonder Girl. Another lightning blast flew from Cataclysm's hands, smashing them back into the ground.

"NEXT!" Cataclysm said.

Supergirl answered his call, as she flew in with her own punch.

Cataclysm grabbed her fist before she made impact.

"…this is it? This is all a Kryptonian can muster?" Cataclysm said, as he watched Supergirl's arm shake from her sheer effort to break Cataclysm's grip. "Your fellow never let anything stop him! But it's quite clear…!"

Cataclysm buried his fist into Supergirl's stomach, before firing another powerful jolt of electricity that sent her tumbling across the sky.

"You can't even begin to match him!" Cataclysm said. "Much like his poor dead clone!"

A burst of psychic force slammed against Cataclysm's face, but it barely even made his head move, as he turned to look at the attacking Miss Martian.

"You're not who I was laying bait for, but as you will." Cataclysm said, as he fired more blasts of electricity from his fingers. Miss Martian dodged around them and hit Cataclysm with every bit of strength and density her body could muster…which was enough to move him half a foot.

"And it looks like you mirror the Kryptonian." Cataclysm said, as electrical power fired from his eyes. Miss Martian dodged to the side…right into the far bigger blast of electricity fired from Summanus. Cataclysm watched as she tumbled to the ground. "So much for your vaunted nine senses."

"YOU TALK TOO MUCH!" Supergirl said as she flew back in and punched at Cataclysm…

And crystal lances erupted from her arms and pierced through the electrical master.

For a moment, he floated there, staring.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS _**THAT?"**_ Cataclysm said, as he backhanded Supergirl into the desert floor once more, before pulling out the crystal blades, which crumpled in his hands. "Did I just wander into the damn Silver Age?"

"My girl's got a lot of tricks."

And then a golden lasso dropped over Cataclysm.

"So do I." Wonder Girl said. "Like my new lasso?"

And golden power shot from the lasso, piercing into Cataclysm as he yelled and jerked back, thrashing briefly before he pointed at Wonder Girl, firing a blast of lightning into her. She held her ground, smoke rising off her body as Cataclysm added more fingers and poured his power into her, even as his body twisted and shifted, the perfectly maintained shape he had beginning to break down.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Cataclysm yelled, and added twin blasts from Summanus. That did it, as Wonder Girl's lasso was pulled from Cataclysm's form, phasing through him as he hissed, even as his attacks blew Wonder Girl across the sky again.

"So...your new lasso can disrupt magic. Nice trick…too bad you didn't try it with the rest of your…friends…" Cataclysm said, as he realized something. Where was everyone else? Beforehand the Titans had been attacking him in a sort of switch-out pattern…but now they seemed to be attacking him one at a time, a subtle but notable difference. Why would…

And then he saw them.

"Our cover's blown!" Gauntlet said,

"That's all right." Blue Beetle said, as the device detached from Gauntlet and Red Star. "Done."

"What the devil…" Cataclysm said…as Miss Martian slammed into him from behind. By the time Cataclysm had wrestled her off of himself Red Star had flown up to join the attack.

"This is starting to annoy me! You'd best…!" Cataclysm said, his unfaltering calm confidence finally showing a crack as he tried to fend off his attackers…which he did with a one handed spray-blast of lightning, sending them crashing back into the ground.

Which in itself surprised him. He had expected it just to drive them back: the fact that it did more…

And Supergirl's blows suddenly being so weak…

And the fact Kid Flash hadn't attempted any sort of offense at all since he'd gone airborne…

"What are you trying? You think you can pull the wool over me…!?" Cataclysm said, as he flew at Blue Beetle and Gauntlet, noticing how the blonde-haired Titan was hunched over…and his arm was the wrong color…

"Can't…not…yet!" Gauntlet said between clenched teeth.

"I got it. I'll buy you some more seconds." Blue Beetle said, as jets ignited on his armor and he flew at Cataclysm.

"_XEVISIO!" _Cataclysm yelled, as he fired his devastating lightning bolt…

And Blue Beetle held up a hand, a large reticular gun forming on his arm, as the lightning bolt slammed into its barrel…

"Right back at ya."

And fired right back out, the electricity converted to a sonic wave that sent Cataclysm flying across the sky and crashing into Summanus.

"You think he's figured it out?" Supergirl said as he joined Blue Beetle's side.

"I think he's too angry by now to care." Miss Martian said, doing likewise.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Cataclysm roared as he flew back out of Summanus, his whole body covered with dancing, thrashing electricity. "ENOUGH! THIS ENDS NOW! AND ALL THE USUAL SPIEL THAT COMES FROM THESE POINTS! You want my best? YOU GOT IT!" Cataclysm yelled, as he held up his arms. _"AZAKA-TONNERO!"_

And the Summanus orb cracked open as gigantic amounts of electricity surged out, striking Cataclysm's form, as his human appearance disappeared, his body becoming pure crackling whiteness even as it expanded massively, as Cataclysm turned into a twenty-foot tall giant of pure electrical energy, even as more lightning exploded off of him and from the Summanus orb behind him.

"Oh great, now we're in Power Rangers." Kid Flash said as he re-appeared: his disappearance had been tied into what Blue Beetle had been doing with Gauntlet.

"Not what he's stealing." Blue Beetle said.

"WHATEVER WORKS!" Cataclysm yelled, as he held up both arms again. "_LOUCETIOS!"_

And scores of train-sized lightning bolts exploded from Cataclysm's form, arcing down towards the grouped heroes, as Blue Beetle formed a sword on one arm.

"TITANS GO!"

* * *

And the knife slashed down.

Into Metatron's hands.

"Ohhhh, nice engraving…oh wait, it's going green. It's a fake. You got gypped." Metatron said as he crouched over Scalpel, admiring the knife before grinning at a stunned Isaac. "Hi!"

"GRAH! DEMON!" Isaac yelled, pulling away from Metatron.

"Yep!" Metatron said, hopping down. "Hey, was it you who turned off my powers? Or was it that guy who I head butted when he couldn't tell me if I came in the right door? I LIKE my powers, you know! They let me burn stuff!" Metatron said, confiding the last part in a hushed whisper.

"PERISH EVIL ONE!" Isaac yelled, as he lunged at Metatron…who dodged.

"Active powers anyway. My passive powers still seem to be working. Let me guess. Magic, right? Magic's always reacted whacky around me. You never know what you are gonna get if you use it. I think you got gypped there too."

"RAARRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH…"

* * *

"…GGHHHHHHH! COME ON!" Cyborg yelled, as he directed every bit of disabling firepower he could muster at the final super-missile heading his way. But unlike all its previous brothers, it refused to go down easy. In a small corner of his mind, a voice piped up that this was probably intentional, to make him waste ammo and overheat his power cells. The voice was drowned out in his determination to stop the missile, if he had to go outside and throw rocks at it.

"TITANS! PROBLEM! WE HAVE ONE LAST…GIANT…IS ANYONE THERE?" Cyborg yelled into his communication array.

Static.

The network was down again. The hole he'd left to focus on the missile attack had been well-used.

"NO! NO NO NO _**NO!"

* * *

**_And Marissa Mori leaned back once more, having finished her final task. She'd found an opening to exploit, just as he said she would.

The rest was out of her hands.

"Check."

* * *

"That missile's getting awful close!" Timmy said, as he watched Cyborg's guns hammer on it as it closed in. "Should we get off the roof, Melvin?"

"We should…but…!" Melvin said, not certain what to do. "We should call the Titans across the water over! They can help!"

"Okay! Where's the communicator?"

"…I left it in my room!"

"Well go get it!"

"No time! The missile is close! We need to get their attention another way!" Melvin said. "…I know! TITANS! TITANS! COME HERE QUICK!" Melvin yelled, as she ran over and waved her arms on the roof facing Jump City, Timmy quickly joining her.

Unfortunately, the last barrage of missiles had been quite intense. And it had drawn the Titans' focus.

As Cyborg's guns stopped shooting.

* * *

"WHAT? NO!" Cyborg yelled, as his guns overheated and ran out of ammo, one after the other. He had just gotten the shield down too! NOT NOW! _**NOT NOW!**_"

Cyborg fought the inevitable for a few more seconds before he leapt up and scrambled away from the computer banks, sprinting towards the nearest window as his sonic cannon armed. If he had to blow out every single power source he had and fry his whole system, he would, but he would STOP THAT MISSILE…!

* * *

"It's not working!" Melvin said.

"The missile's coming!" Timmy said. "We have to run!"

"No! We have to protect Mr. Cyborg!" Melvin said, as Teether finally began to cry: Melvin quickly scooped him up…

And realized that she didn't have time to do either: the missile was seconds away.

"…Mommy?" Melvin said helplessly, as Timmy screamed and clung to her.

And the missile stopped dead.

From the black energy covering it, as Raven floated down, her hands out and sweat running down her face as she fought to hold the weapon back.

"Run children."

"Raven! No! We can't…!"

"Listen to me! Run!"

"But you'll…"

"RUN!" Raven yelled, as Cyborg ran futilely to get off a shot in time…

And then the air flickered, and Bobby appeared…as he ran past Raven.

"Bobby?" Melvin said.

As the giant teddy bear construct leapt mightily, flying off the roof and over the missile…

"Can't…no…don't let…!" Raven snarled, as her hold began to crack…

And landed on the back of it.

The sudden extra weight shocked Raven out of her mental grip, even as it swung the nose of the missile upward, as Bobby tumbled down the side, his claws ripping through the missile's cover…

As Raven lost her hold completely, the black energy shattering as the missile abruptly switched direction from the pressure of it, arcing upward over the T-Tower as Raven hurled herself over the children and covered them all with a shield moments before the rocket fire incinerated them, as the missile flew over the T-Tower…carrying the giant teddy bear with it.

"BOBBY!" Melvin cried, as the super missile flew on…as Bobby dragged himself all the way down to the bottom, forcing the missile nose even higher up until it was almost vertical, as the giant explosive device flew up into the sky, Bobby pulled along with it…

As Bobby punched it one last time.

The blast lit up the entire night sky, and the shockwave was so intense it hammered Raven and the kids back into the roof despite the distance, as the Titans at the beachfront and still in Jump recoiled at the massive explosion.

"…whoa." Cyborg said from the window where he'd witnessed the whole strange turnaround…though he didn't know just why.

Until the cry sounded in his ears, even from the roof.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

* * *

"DIE DEMON!" Isaac yelled as he slashed at Metatron, who dodged, albeit without his usual lazy ease.

"No no, CAT demon. Die demons are the ones who are a BITCH to beat at Dungeons and Dragons. Or, if you were going with the 'y' spelling, the ones that dye their hair to make themselves look mysterious. Very pompous, those. Though I hate die demons more. Rolled all the 1's out my butt…!" Metatron said as he dodged again.

"DIE! DIE!"

"You could try to give things a fun, new twist, you know. What is it with you 'just and pure' being so DULL anyway? It's always 'DIE!' and 'EVIL!' and 'SINNER!' and 'WEEEE UNHOLY DOGGIE!' from that one hillbilly-cult episode. Go with variety! Set yourself aside from all the other nutters! With things like 'HOME INTRUDER!' or 'SNAPPY DRESSER!' or anything that won't just BORE me! C'mon!"

"ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Isaac screamed, as he charged at Metatron again…and Metatron grabbed his wrist as he stabbed downward at the dimension-lost Titan and flipped the lunatic over him onto the ground as easily as if he was fluffing a pillow.

"You cannot do it then? Sad. Anyway, while we are on the whole 'me beating you thing', lovely part of the day by the by, far more fun then that more common 'me being beaten on', how's about we have a heart-to-heart. Why are you trying to kill my friend…?"

And then another Son crashed down near Metatron, and he turned to see Sophie as she threw another Son into the wall, before grabbing a handgun from another one and crushing it before kicking her attacker several feet away…as another one jumped on her back. A moment later she had grabbed him and hurled him over her shoulder, sending him crashing to the floor several feet distant.

"..hmm. Maybe I should grab Frank and run for it before she mistakes us for one of them in her quest to protect her man." Metatron said, and whistled. "Hey Morgue! Seeing as you're having a power trip over there, you should brush up on your juggling! One-handed too! It'll be a sight for the children! And me! Mostly me! I'm bored! Hey, maybe you could throw in a-!"

"Metatron?" Morgue said, finally cluing in on the voice she'd vaguely been hearing.

Metatron noted her tone. It was off, especially considering she was destroying a small army single-handedly. "Trouble?"

"Savior's been shot! He might be…I couldn't check…!"

And the casual nature abruptly went out of Metatron's stance.

Even as Isaac's arm curled around his shoulder, his knife pressing to Metatron's throat.

"DIE!"

And he slashed.

* * *

"BOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Melvin cried, holding out her hands helplessly towards the dispersing flames in the sky, before collapsing in sobs.

Raven watched helplessly, trying to comfort the little girl…as her own sadness and rage roiled within her.

She'd recognized it, what she'd felt when she'd removed Krampus' mask. It had been concealed well, but she'd known it regardless…and when Raven had found the shard of the Orb inside the shattered remains of Krampus' helmet, hooked up to strange machinery…that had fried itself through no actions on Raven's part, leaving just a mess of metal and ash that gave no indication where it had come from, it had confirmed it to her.

He was there. The shadow, falling over them…

Just like at the hotel. Where he'd manipulated events so cruelly, and left a mark so deep on her she'd nearly let it destroy her.

She still didn't know, wholly, what she would do there…

But this whole thing reminded her of who he was. What he did. He hurt people, and he took special pride in being able to hurt them. Whether it was the two who had stopped him the first time, or children who dared come into their lives.

That was what he did.

That was who he was.

And she would not let him define her, or anyone else in her life, any more then…

And then a black, smoking mass suddenly slammed into the roof, shocking the weeping kids into silence and Raven out of her angry, self-loathing introspection…

As the mass stood up. It had a familiar shape.

"Bobby?" Melvin said.

The giant teddy bear shook himself, soot falling off to reveal that, while scorched and blackened, he was unharmed. It took more then an explosion to kill a child's imaginary friend.

"BOBBY!" Melvin cried, running to him and hugging his leg as hard as she could, as Bobby patted Melvin on the head to comfort her.

Raven watched, her pain and despair giving way to a calm satisfaction. _Take that, you bastard. There's some things you can never kill.

* * *

_But that did not hold true for everyone…

Metatron stumbled forward, blood splattering on the floor in front of him…

"BURN IN HELL DEMON! LIKE YOU ALL WILL! LIKE YOU…!" Issac screamed.

And then Metatron backhanded him, throwing Isaac onto his ass even as more blood sprayed from the deep cut in Metatron's right hand, as he grimaced once more, his lazy good humor gone.

"Messy technique. Never pause between placement and cut. Makes you lift the blade up a bit before you make the actual slice and lets people do stuff like, oh, stick their hand up in the space. If they're quick enough. Which I am. You can take away my powers, but you can't take away that." Metatron said.

"DIEEEEEEEEEEE!" Isaac screamed, scrambling up and charging at Metatron said.

"Oh god, who wrote your lines, Stephanie Meyers?" Metatron said, and flicked out his hand, causing blood to spray out into Isaac's eyes.

"GRAAAUUGGHHHHH!" Isaac screamed, staggering back…

And then Metatron kicked him in the chest. Isaac crashed backwards against a pillar behind him, slamming his head and knocking him giddy for a moment, as he fought back from the darkness.

* * *

And Sophie hurled another Son into yet another, but they just kept coming, and she was getting tired despite her powers, the Miraclo wasn't chemically designed for her, who knew when it would run out…

* * *

Isaac clawed his way back to the land of the living…and found Metatron crouched in front of him, holding a book. A bible.

"See this? This book here? Little bit of blood there, big guy, might have to squint." Metatron said. "Is it burning me? No? Will that bring you any sort of clue? No. Thought so. This is a book. It is filled with advice on how one should live one's life. Good advice. SKEWED advice, sure, with a bit of a totalitarian feel to it and a lot of pretty ridiculous condemnations. But once you ignore all the nonsense and you boil it down to the standard fairytale message, there's the good. Love your fellow man. Be good. Do right as best you can. They do this through stories and metaphors. Maybe there's even some truth behind it. Good read, and since there's so many versions, you can read it over and over! I'm sure you did! Wonder how you got it all wrong despite that? Was it because you really don't want to serve a just, willing God? Is it because you want to actually control everyone around you, like so many annoying little _things _like you did, and you're willing to corrupt, distort, and ignore whatever you have to to get your way? Do you realize that you've taken a good, beneficial faith, and twisted it into every reason Lucifer fell from heaven? And then quit hell? And then opened a bar? And then…we'll that's another story. The point is, you didn't get this right at all. And you never will. Because you are that small, little thing. And, oh yeah, there's also the part where you stuck the book on top of this."

And Metatron pulled a small mechanical device from behind his back.

"Which is, if what I'm smelling correctly is right, is what Ricky gave you…"

"RAAAAAAUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Isaac screamed, lunging out and trying to seize Metatron by the throat. Metatron leapt backwards from his seated position…and stumbled a bit, skipping backwards a few more steps before coming to a firm stop. He seemed more aggrieved at that fact then Isaac's attack.

"To block our powers." Metatron finished.

And then he smashed the device against the floor.

"I LOVE it when poetic irony works on our favor."

* * *

And the tingle shot through Sophie's muscles.

And another Son aimed another shotgun at her.

"DIE!"

And he fired.

Into the mass of bats, a few of them falling dead to the ground as Morgue's body was replaced by a gigantic swarm of furious flying mammals, as the Son screamed and staggered back, dropping his gun, even as his fellows recoiled at this sudden transformation…

And Morgue, in her hive-mind state, felt the Miraclo still flowing through her.

She couldn't speak in her swarm-state, but if she could, there would only be one choice of line.

"HERE I COME PUNKS! LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL!"

And the Church of the True Sons found out, like Sabotage, that a swarm of focused bats were bad…and a swarm of focused, angry, superstrong bats were far worse.

* * *

"…you don't even know what Ricky did, did you?" Metatron said, as golden heat began wafting off of him and Isaac stared in horror. "You're toys. Pawns. Something to use for his benefit. Oh, I strongly suspect you'd have tried this even if he wasn't around…but it wouldn't have come to this. This…actually accomplishes something. For him." Metatron said, his golden eyes dully regarding Isaac. "I hope you're proud of yourself."

And Issac stared a second longer…and then snatched up his knife from the floor and screamed, charging at Metatron in mad defiance.

Metatron, usually so quick with quips, only sighed.

Isaac closed in.

And then Metatron was suddenly behind him.

As Isaac felt a myraid of blows all slam into him at once, and then he fell to his knees and onto his face, down and out.

"_Shun Goku Satsu."_ Metatron quoted. "Since you were so damn insistent."

And Metatron turned and walked away…as with a snarl, Scalpel wrenched himself free from the slab he'd been trapped on during the whole fight. A quick glance revealed there wasn't much left to do, as the last of the True Sons fell to Sophie's wrath.

"Hey Nigel. Sorry, there's nothing for you to…"

"Noel." Scalpel said, as he turned and ran across the room, as Metatron stared for a moment and then looked back at Isaac.

"See that? You're not even worth faux-killthreating."

A few moments later, Morgue reformed back into her human self, as she looked around at her work…and then remember Savior, as she turned around…and found Scalpel already kneeling by him.

The alien was already covered in blood.

So much…blood.

But this time shed.

* * *

Gauntlet tried not to question his worth.

Why would he? That kind of brooding pondering was for the tightasses like Noel, or the tragedy magnets like Tim. He knew who he was, and that was that.

But sometimes…

Life just had to throw one of these villain types at him. The smirking, psychotic faux-Platos, whose whole body of work could be boiled down to 'You all suck and should die for it' and whose innate superpower all seemed to be an ability to get under a person's skin, no matter who they were or how many times they'd heard the same thing. Considering that nihilism was based on the concept of hopelessness and despair, it was strange how many bad guys seemed to be in love with the concept.

Gauntlet blamed Newberry Medal book winners. Those things always seemed to be depressing messes.

Of course, nothing was more satisfying than nailing one of the bastards to the wall and showing them that their great, terrible truth was nothing more then hot air and delusion, just like every other dictator and madman who had been ground underfoot by higher morals. Revealing their condemnations for the paper tigers they were…

Except when they cheated. When they showed up like a force of nature, tossing around abilities that gods would have trouble with, their dysfunctional poison that masqueraded as thought removed of the need to prove its supposed truth and merits by the sheer fact that the thinker could pound the thought into everyone until they either believed or died. A true manifestation of the corruption of power.

Gauntlet believed, deep down, they knew their viewpoints were crap. It left them with the only option of crushing their opposition, instead of converting it. And what worth was an opinion, and a being, like that?

Gauntlet didn't question his worth.

But sometimes he wondered if that held him back.

Like now, out in the desert, assigned as a leader of a Titan away team to help out someone Gauntlet didn't really know but considered a good guy. To battle a threat who had threatened terrible things essentially because he'd decided he didn't like the guy. A threat that had stood up to all the power of Gauntlet's team members and shrugged it off, and worse, only been affected by Gauntlet's own namesake enough to show that Gauntlet didn't have enough strength within it to do any real damage. A weak advantage and a myriad of blunted powers. A bad combination.

He'd hurt them, they were hiding it well but he'd hurt them. With that damn arrogant certainty. He was right, and they deserved it.

WRONG.

And so Gauntlet had agreed to Blue Beetle's plan. If the Gauntlet didn't have the power, then he'd loan it the power. Specifically he'd suck the energy and 'spirit' right out of his suit, and out of his companions, and pour it into his arm. If it worked, it would give him a brief time of incalculable power increase…or blow his arm off.

But Blue Beetle put those odds at seventeen percent. Seemed fair.

And they'd all contributed. Kid Flash first, then Supergirl, Miss Martian, Wonder Girl, Red Star, Blue Beetle himself, all giving up a great deal of their remaining strength to him.

He could feel it, pulsing and burning, in his arm, the dark bronze armor now a shifting mass of colors.

But he just couldn't properly HARNESS it. His natural Gauntlet energy came to him almost instinctively now, reacting to his plans seemingly a second before he formed them. But it seemed at a loss to handle all this excess, alien power…

And so his teammates had been forced to go into battle again, even as Cataclysm decided he wasn't big and bad enough. They'd given him the strength they'd needed to survive, while also keeping Cataclysm's attention off him. Hell, Blue Beetle had even bathed Supergirl in a red solar energy beam so she could pull out one of her lesser-known powers and hit Cataclysm with sunstone crystal protrusions she could only create under such conditions, even if doing that would drain what remained of her power ever more, just for the sake of the surprise factor. And then when he couldn't do his job immediately, they'd gone back to fight, at severely reduced capacities, and damn it he needed to GET THIS TO WORK…!

Miss Martian and Red Star fired concentrated blasts at Cataclysm, as Blue Beetle and Kid Flash below, via twin guns and every large stone he could find and charged with Speed Force energy, peppered Cataclysm with another group of attacks, before they scattered as Cataclysm fired more blasts of electricity their way…and Supergirl and Wonder Girl flew in, both their feet smashing into Cataclysm's chest and actually driving his giant form back.

"…come on …!" Gauntlet hissed.

"…bored now." Cataclysm said.

And he thrust up his arms.

"_SUSANOO-OYA!"_

And a gigantic sphere of lightning manifested around the heroes, miles in radius…as gigantic amounts of electricity explodes from all parts of the orb that Cataclysm had trapped the heroes within.

Not even Kid Flash, after his power dump, had the speed to get away.

* * *

They'd gotten away, barely. Despite the forces and treachery arranged against them, the Titans had fought back and overcome it.

"Robin reporting in. Are all the missiles disabled?" Robin said from where he stood over Krampus' defeated form.

"Cyborg reporting in. That's an affirmative, and the disruptions and other outside attacks on our communication and other networks has been stopped. Trying to back trace the source now."

"Raven reporting in…I'm picking up all the Titans' life signs, just have some more…" Raven said.

And froze.

"…no." Raven whispered, as the children looked at her in surprise at the abrupt shock and, behind it, terror. "Oh no."

She could sense everyone.

Save one.

* * *

Gauntlet watched them fall, limp and broken, puppets with their strings cut.

"…oh no…come on…no, NO…!" Gauntlet said, as he tried and TRIED to get what he'd been given to work…

"You fail, little boy. You always do. Remember that. It's the first life lesson you should have gotten." Cataclysm said, and pointed. "Now it's the last. _BAO-XEVISIO!"_

And Cataclysm fired a building-sized lightning bolt at Gauntlet.

He watched the attack fly at him.

"…to hell with it." Gauntlet said, and as the bolt moved to strike him, he punched it.

A massive blast of sand blew up from where Gauntlet had stood, as Cataclysm lowered his arm.

"Well…what else could have been expected?"

"Oh, I don't know…"

Considering Gauntlet's distance from him, and the fact he did not raise his voice, just how Cataclysm heard the Titan speak as he re-appeared from the smoke, his Gauntlet arm now a deep glowing gold.

"The same thing that happens EVERY TIME you villains assume a smoke cloud means death?" Gauntlet said, as he flexed his Gauntlet-encased fingers, and arcs of golden power crackled off his form. "Thanks. I needed that. Darn thing wasn't working, before you whacked it on the side and found the sweet spot!"

More golden energy arced around Gauntlet, his blonde hair dancing in the air. You almost expected him to sprout a monkey tail, as Cataclysm looked at him. Strangely, there almost seemed to be an air of resignation around him.

"I thought you barely knew how to work that thing." Cataclysm said.

"YOU THOUGHT WRONG!" Gauntlet yelled, and charged at Cataclysm.

"Don't tack up your victory yet! _LOUCETIOS!"_ Cataclysm yelled, as he called down the terrible storm of giant lightning blasts on Gauntlet again, the blades of electricity tearing across the desert…as Gauntlet ducked and weaved through each one, instinctively knowing the pattern somehow…

_That would be me._

"..Beetle?" Gauntlet said, hearing the voice in his head.

_Yeah. Brief link from the power download…Gauntlet, that big body is a ruse! Cataclysm's REAL form is still normal sized! He's standing on the head!_

"…well what do you know!" Gauntlet said, as he looked…and saw the same thing, despite the distance. "Not nice hiding now!"

"Neither is pulling out eleventh hour superpowers! _SUSANOO-URIA!"_ Cataclysm bellowed, as he fired scores of lightning spheres down at Gauntlet…as he leapt up, actually placed his glowing Gauntlet hand on one, and spring boarded off of it and into the air at Cataclysm.

"Thanks again. I always wanted to say this." Gauntlet said as he rose.

"What?"

"THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER!" Gauntlet yelled, holding up his fist in front of him as the golden glow went from his arm to his whole body. "ITS BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU!"

"_BAO-XEVISIO!"_

The colossal lightning attack flew at Gauntlet…who punched it and bashed it away like he was swatting a ball with a tennis racket. The impact didn't even interrupt his momentum, as he drew level with Cataclysm's upper body, and his true self standing onto its lightning crown.

"TAKE THIS!" Gauntlet yelled, as he threw his arm behind him and the golden energy lanced out, twisting and spiralling back nearly half a mile. "MY LOVE, MY ANGER, _**AND ALL OF MY SORROW! SHINING…!!!!"**_

"Oh…"

"_**FINGER!!!!!!!"**_

And Gauntlet hurled the spiralling ultra charged energy punch.

"…damn." Cataclysm said.

The blow smashed into Cataclysm's true self, his giant body evaporating into nothing as the punch smashed him backwards through Summanus, the giant black sphere surging and then exploding into a thousand black glittering shards as the punch smashed Cataclysm all the way through his core of power and beyond, carrying him all the way into a distant mountain and blowing the top of it right off in one final giant blast of electricity.

And just like that, the clouds faded away, as Gauntlet landed on the ground, his form going back to normal as he looked at the mushroom cloud on top of the distant shattered peak.

"The middle one, to be exact." Gauntlet said, and flipped the cloud off to drive it wholly home.

* * *

And Raven entered the home of what had been the Church of the True Sons. She saw the fallen bodies…and Morgue, her mask off, sitting morosely on the ground, Scalpel's bloody arm draped over her.

"…Sophie?" Raven said, and the pair looked up, their expressions unreadable. "…are you all right?"

"…more or less." Morgue said.

"…Noel?" Raven whispered.

"He'll…live to fight another day."

And Savior emerged from the shadows…well, to be more precise, the Shimmer dragged him from the shadows, the white energy lines fully supporting him under the arms and around the hips, his left hand covered in Shimmer energy.

"What, you thought he was dead?" Metatron said as he popped up. "This is the guy who yelled at me for three weeks until I bought a cup! His cup passion was inspiring! And just a tad creepy. Why would someone…" Metatron said, before Raven pushed him aside and floated over to Savior.

"Took some bullets. Shirt did what it could but…my chest is a mess. Was on the edge…Shimmer did what it could as well when the powers kicked back in…it's pumping the blood for me. Which is probably why your life scan didn't read a heartbeat." Savior said, wincing with every word.

"…the blood…?"

"On the floor? Or me? Same thing. Took one in the hand too." Savior said, indicating his Shimmer-covered left hand. "Bleeds a lot. But…could be worse."

"…yes. Yes I suppose." Raven said, as she reached out a hand and placed it on Savior…and all her muscles went rigid as terrible, grating pain briefly filled her whole torso…and faded away as the damage to Savior was repaired, as the Shimmer set him back down.

"I'm just glad…you're all right." Raven said.

Savior looked back at Raven…but the dull, faint anger in his eyes had not faded.

"So all it takes for you to talk to me instead of brushing me off with excuses and ambiguities is a near death experience, is it? If I'd known that I would have fallen on a sword weeks ago. Then again, why not? Does death, or its threat, not forgive all sins? Even if I never knew what those were?"

"…Oh Noel…I…we…"

"No Raven. I know. I know you had your reasons." Savior said.

And he walked past her.

"I do as well."

And Raven could just watch as Savior left the room…and she reflected that wounds of the flesh were often not the deepest ones.

"Well fantastic. Off he goes to ruin the holiday again. Nice for the status quo!" Metatron said, as Raven walked over to Sophie and Nigel. He then turned to... you. The Reader. "Read all about Noel's whacky mishaps and whining now at H-T-T-P colon double-slash community dot livejournal dot com slash daddywasntthere slash. Go on, it'll be good for a cheap laugh." Metatron said.

_**Mental note: don't give co-writer free reign when scripting his character's lines.**_

"You hurt?" Raven asked.

"I'll be fine." Scalpel said.

"…do you know what happened?"

"These people…they wanted to murder Nigel." Sophie said: it was the sheer scope of hate and hostility that Nigel had revealed to her that had put the dourness on her face. It would pass…soon, but not now. "They thought he was a demon. Thought God wanted him to be murdered, to start a cleansing of this sinful earth and the usual Armageddon bull bleep. And they were willing to any lengths to do it."

"And they had a nice provider revving them up too." Metatron said, as he sidled up again.

"What? Who?" Scalpel said.

"Ricky." Metatron said simply, confusing the couple further. "But that's for some other time. Crisis averted, damage done. How's about some turkey?"

"It will never be enough for him." Raven said.

"And so, he's already losing." Metatron finished. "Pretty hilarious when he starts self-thwarting."

* * *

Just another man. For all his power, Krampus had been stripped down to the usual heart of the matter. A man's heart, a heart of darkness, forever beating its rhythm in Robin's ears.

But there were worse things to hear then a defiant, angry scream as Malachi/Krampus was dragged off by the police. More questions would have to be answered, more tangled webs unweaved. But that could wait a bit.

"BASTARDS! SINNERS! GOD WILL PUNISH YOU! GOD WILL PUNISH YOU! YOU WILL ROAST IN…!" Malachi shrieked.

And then a green hand grabbed Malachi's throat, cutting off his noise, as the police stared at Beast Boy.

"When your time of judgment comes, you will pass through the gates. You will walk to the throne of our Lord, and kneel in expectations of your thanks and gratitude. And He will look at you…not with pride, not with joy…but with sadness." Beast Boy said as he stared into Malachi's hopelessly deranged eyes. "And He will speak but four words. _**I don't know you."**_

And Beast Boy released the zealot, and did not look at him again as the police took him away, once again screaming to the heavens he thought he served. The noise echoed in the streets after they finally drove off with him.

"I'm sorry Robin. I keep my…beliefs to myself. I just wish everyone could." Beast Boy said.

"I do not fear Satan half as much as I fear those who fear him." Robin replied sadly, and then looked around at his gathering teammates. "Still…could be worse."

"Hey Robin, you there?" Robin's communicator said, and Robin opened it to see Bumblebee's face. "FINALLY. What the hell happened to our phones?"

"Technical support hit a snag. You all right Bumblebee?"

"Yeah…more or less. You won't believe the problem we ran into down here."

"That's my line." Gauntlet said, as his face abruptly popped up next to Bumblebee's.

"Gauntlet." Robin said.

"Hey Robin…Paco was right. We did need some heavy hitters." Gauntlet said, as he stood on the mountaintop he had blasted Cataclysm into. He wasn't surprised there wasn't a trace of a body or remains. That was the way it went. At least he was gone.

"You all right guys?"

"Oh, bumps, bruises, burns, the usual b words." Bumblebee said.

"I think I can serve as a lamp post for a few days Robin. Besides that everyone here's not so bad, all things considered." Gauntlet said.

"Indeed." Raven said, as she also appeared on the screen. "Everyone's accounted for Robin. No serious injuries…any more, anyway. We'll report in: I think I have the men behind the man for this mess."

"Hey…wait a minute." Bumblebee said. "You mean we have to spend Christmas Eve doing business?"

"…well…" Robin said, as the Titans looked at him, on screen and in person.

"…no one said we HAD to…"

* * *

Somewhere else, the darkness shifted.

And then crackled with a brief spurt of white power, as Cataclysm emerged from the shadows…as his form shattered and fell off, and the Lord of the Night returned to his preferred visage. The things you did to keep your enemies from knowing certain things.

It was why he'd gone after Blue Beetle, after all. They had no history, save the sure opposition the alien-armed Titan would offer down the line. Indeed, such a massive group of Titans, with such heavy hitters, presented quite a logistical problem.

Especially with the unknown pitfalls that dealt with the fallout of the Lord's last plan against the Titans. Indeed, in the weeks that had passed, he realized that he needed more intel.

And then the word had come down the grapevine of the Church of the True Son's dark ambition. The Lord had glanced at it…and been inspired.

And so he'd set it all up. Their weapons. Their dark magic. The plan to scatter the Titans, and push them to their limits. All for the intel for future plans it would bring, through mechanical devices that would destroy themselves when done…and the magic spell the Lord had cast on his eyes, allowing what he saw as Cataclysm as he tested the strength of the mightiest Titans to be observed in turn.

By his trusted assistant, the chess master of all the details.

"Master?" Marissa Mori said, standing up as the Lord entered the room.

"Despite my efforts, in concealing myself, and the power I'd derived from stealing the darkness inside all those legions of rabble…they won out. They seem to have yet found a limit to the last-minute miracles they can produce." The Lord said.

"Master…"

"No matter. It was all for the data. Winning or losing…irrelevant in the end. There will be a next time…perhaps the last time. All depending on what you acquired."

"I did my best sir…there _were_ some errors in the process…the machinery you fused to your powers for the Krampus costume, the nano-enhancements you gave to that waste of tissue in Steel City…I stayed on top as best I could…"

"As expected. Maybe your devices did not function at optimum efficiency…but that is why pencils have erasers." The Lord said. "We shall continue the work."

"I still collected a great deal of data: it's still being analyzed. I'll get to work on the improvements afterwards." Marissa said, as the Lord raised a hand and summoned his throne, as he sat down with a musing look.

"…and how did your attempt to coordinate all these efforts go, Miss Mori?"

"Attempting to control the machines myself didn't work. I tried directing the Krampus-wearer…he was too insane to even realize my attempts to help. I don't need to see the data to know that. I need to come up with some other method…" Marissa said. "But the coordination, in terms of synchronization, worked fairly well, all things considered. I gathered a lot of data on many miscellaneous details as well, in regards to the Titans and other things. I…even had some extra time…"

The Lord glanced at his assistant with an inquiring eye. A moment later she handed him a book.

"I gave the new machines a test run to see if they held up. They did."

"…this is the _Zelmotta Arcana."_ The Lord said.

"Yes."

"You located and brought this here tonight?"

"Yes sir…it was the purpose of my test run."

"This book…Three copies supposedly exist…two if Mr. Constantine did use his as toilet paper, as some say. One is lost, and one is in the hands of Jason Blood. So…you found what myriad magicians could not?"

"No, I don't have the resources to find something that's lost even to sorcerers…"

"…in the middle of an operation, you utilized experimental machines to steal a book from one of the most powerful sorcerers in the world?"

"Considering magicians don't usually prepare for invaders that aren't alive and aren't some sort of undead thing, it wasn't as difficult as expected. Otherwise, the stealth programs and the speed of some of the machines made extraction quick and seamless."

"…you risked…bringing the demon Etrigan…down on our heads…right in the middle of our intelligence gathering, when I had myself stretched considerably thin?" The Lord said.

"Hardly. They had the Luthor Corp. logo all over them. If Etrigan found them, he'd assume Luthor had something planned for Superman." Marissa said. "I took all precautions necessary to make sure that if they were caught and not utterly destroyed, they'd never lead back to you."

"…henh." The Lord said. "Well done. You did very well Miss Mori. You were also very fortunate. Unless I give an explicit order, or the odds favor you, _DON'T DO IT AGAIN."_

"…yes sir." Marissa said, resuming her work.

"…perhaps I should have gotten you something." The Lord said. "It would probably be more appreciated than the gift I gave the Titans…ah. I know."

And the Lord waved his hand, as the table of fallen dominoes began to be covered in misty black energy.

"As amusing as dominoes are, they are…but a short term task. So much effort, for such brief reward. It has its aspects, and its purpose. And said purpose is done. Now to the true game."

And the chess board re-appeared…as a piece moved across it. The Lord's Queen.

Which Marissa, much to her shock, realized was now crafted in her image. Previously, all the pieces had been generic save for the Kings, which were a replica of the Titans' building…and the Lord himself.

And to that, Marissa Mori had nothing she could say.

"The long game." The Lord finished. "Your move, Titans."

* * *

"All right, are we all here?" Robin said as he sat by the roaring fireplace and looked at the Titans scattered all over the main room. Despite their battles, they'd all come through with minimal injury. Well, save Bobby, but he was cut from a different cloth, as Melvin, Timmy, and Teether sat in his lap and dozed. And now, for the most part, they were all here, like they'd never been interrupted.

"More or less. When do we eat?" Kole complained.

"Cyborg's got his machines carefully reheating the food. He says it'll be just as if it was fresh…" Robin said.

"Which probably means we'll be fighting a meat monster within ten or so minutes." Gauntlet said, as various Titans tittered.

"Not funny man. When it comes to food, I don't mess around." Cyborg said.

"So…what are we gonna do?"

"Uh….hmmmm." Robin said. "Sing some carols? For ourselves?"

"Oh I know! WE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE, SMOKING ON A RUBBER CIGAR! IT WAS LOADED, IT EXPLODED…!" Terra sang.

"Who gave her the eggnog?"

"Wait, even better!" Killowatt said. "Lacey things, the wife is missing. Didn't ask, for her permission. I'm wearing her clothes, her silk panty hose, walking around in women's underwear…!"

"NO! ERROR! DOES NOT COMPUTE!"

"The night Santa went crazy! The night Saint Nick went insane! Realized he was getting a raw deal! Something finally must have snapped in his brain!" Flamebird sang, as Robin wondered if he should make his Christmas present to everyone a CAT-scan.

* * *

And as the Titans bothered Robin with parody carols, Raven watched from the shadows of the hallway…and then turned to leave.

She didn't deserve to be with them, sitting amongst friends and enjoying their good vibes. She'd failed herself, and she had to be punished for it.

Maybe next year, when she'd fully sorted it all out. Decided where she stood. Decided what to do, with where the Lord had lead them, led her, and just whose dance steps were their own. Maybe then, she'd have peace of mind to match peace on Earth.

For tonight though, she'd just meditate on the roof…

But she never made it up the stairs.

As Savior was coming down them.

Raven stopped. She'd asked where Noel was, and been told he'd gone somewhere and asked to be alone. She'd assumed he was in his room.

But no. He'd been on the roof.

And despite the cold…

"Hey." Savior said. Though there was still wariness in his eyes, the overall hardness had faded from his face, in the ninety or so minutes since she'd seen him last. He seemed…warmer, somehow.

"…hi." Raven said.

"…well, we'd best get back there, or they'll be singing that nonsense all night." Savior said, as he offered a hand.

"…Noel? What's this? I thought you were…"

"Yeah, I was kind of a Scrooge…again…but something to remember Raven. The opinion of the immediate aftermath isn't always the absolute of how one can feel. Hindsight…can mean all the difference." Savior said. "I know there's some issue between us, and it may yet rear its ugly head again…but there will be a time for it. Tonight's another time. Besides…it's chilly up there. I want some tea."

Raven looked at Savior for a bit.

And then she took his hand.

"You're right."

"Well yes. I do try to be…" Savior said. "I mean, everyone thinks…"

"ANTI-SPEECH HAT!" Metatron said, as he popped up behind Savior and placed a Santa Claus hat on his head so he could shove it down over his face. "That Santa, what a clever man. Did you know he's Satan's son?"

Savior tensed briefly…and then relaxed, pulling the hat back up.

"…huh. Fits pretty well."

"…so how much did you pester him?" Raven said to Metatron, as Savior adjusted the hat on his head.

"All him." Metatron replied, seeming amused by that fact. "He's growing up. Besides, what else could I say?"

"But…"

"...whatever happened…there'll be time for it. But not now." Metatron said…as he threw his arms over both Savior and Raven. "Now is the time for increasingly embarrassing drunken photos!"

"How about no." Savior said.

"Okay let's hunt for Easter Eggs!"

"Wrong holiday."

"Same strong Christian undertones."

"Still no."

"Then let's go defeat my seven evil ex-girlfriends! I'm still uncertain how I couldn't tell they were evil. I tried not to be prejudiced of their evil laugh. Still, you get a love sword after defeating the fourth. It's lovely."

"Please say the end." Savior said.

_**THE E**_

"YOINK!" Metatron said as he grabbed the ND and ran off. Savior and Raven watched him go.

"…I wonder if it's possible to pawn off the delay on that."

"Probably not." Raven said.

"Just a thought."

* * *

"…okay…and…Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town…" Robin said, as the Titans began a game of 'Redo the famous item, one line at a time, around the room.'

"Not a creature was stirring, 'cause we knocked them all down!" Bumblebee said.

"And ma in my kerchief, and me in my cap…" Savior said.

"You skipped ahead dumbass."

"Really? Oh crap."

"The children were nestled, their golden dreams deep…" Beast Boy said.

"And their parents hanging on with two hours of sleep." Hotspot said.

"And across the snowed lawn, a shadow would…laid…" Starfire said, stumbling briefly.

"But Santa was on WOW. Something about a raid." Wildebeast said.

"I wonder how quickly these things get derailed." Savior said, sitting with Raven.

"Then a window fell on Frank. You know how he flailed." Metatron said.

"But I'll say anyway, as the camera pans out of sight…" Robin said, as the camera drifted out the window as the Titans sat around for Christmas Eve. "Merry Christmas to all…"

* * *

And the Lord sat on his throne, and looked bemusedly at the readers.

"And to all…"

His dark eyes glimmered.

"A good night."

_**THE END**_

("Master, did you park that truck filled with coal in our main workspace?"

"…what?")

_**SEE YOU NEXT YEAR**_


End file.
